Lance (3 page)

S
o much for
Lance’s effect on Mac having diminished. Mac felt him, and the effect of that on her body was bad.

Very bad.

Then she saw him and
bad
was redefined.

With one glance, her defenses, her fortifications, her everything and her anything were shattered—splintered into a million damned pieces that left bleeding slivers on her soul.

She braced herself, closed her eyes to keep the pain from being broadcast, and summoned a strength she hadn’t known she had to keep the pain from owning her.

She opened her eyes, stared at Lance del Cruz with the intensity of a laser beam. She kept her essence unapproachable and her gaze hostile.

He hadn’t changed. The penetrating midnight blue eyes that could cut through her with the ease of a scalpel or render her into a wet, wanton woman, looked back at her.

His jaw muscles clenched and a tic plagued his temple.

Lance.

He really was back in Bear Canyon.

Just not back in her bed. Which he never should have left.

And not exactly back in her heart and mind. Which he never did leave.

Not really. He didn’t leave her mind at all, and her heart couldn’t purge him, even with the ministrations of that damned witch doctor.

This merited a trip back, indeed. Why did it feel like her reaction to him was stronger than ever?

He didn’t take his eyes off her face. She couldn’t take her eyes off his.

The yearning. His hunger. That was on naked display for her, right there, reflected in the amber glow of his bear’s presence in the depths of Lance’s eyes.

His bear wanted her. His bear wanted them.

It’s the man who didn’t want me.

And she wasn’t willing to have the bear if she couldn’t have the man. Hell, she couldn’t. How could she?

Lance walked away from what they had.

She didn’t.

The broad shoulders, maybe even broader now. The wide chest, the way she remembered it catching the sunlight in the early morning hours when they’d lie in bed together and she’d wake before he did, studying this vision of perfection, basking in the glow of his love.

The dark hair sprinkling his forearms, emphasizing the muscles and tendons when he was working outside.

Fuck, I need to shake myself from this train of thought.

“…weather.”

Someone was talking to her. Mac turned her head slowly to Kelsey, who was talking to her evidently, though Mac had been in another dimension, another plane, another planet.

“I’m sorry?” She tore her eyes from Lance and paid attention to Kelsey. Or at least she tried to.

“There’s weather coming. They called for an unexpected spring blizzard. I guess they’re expecting it though…” Kelsey laughed at her own joke. “Maybe they didn’t expect it to be as bad as it’s supposed to be. Make sure someone follows you down the mountain.”

Mac nodded. Smiled. Took a bite of crab puff to keep her hands and mouth busy.

The previously delicious puff was now flavorless and the conversations around her faded to nothing as she remembered their last day together.

She’d had no idea it was coming. None at all.

B
ack then
…

M
ac had been working
in the clinic one Saturday, all alone, getting ready to lock up when Lance walked in.

“Is everything okay?” He didn’t normally come by the clinic without a sick or injured animal.

She saw the desire in the flame of his bear’s amber glow deep in Lance’s indigo eyes.

“It’s better than okay.”

He leaned in, lips taking hers, bruising and claiming them. Fingers cupping her cheek, he moved lower to her jaw line. His tongue pressed her resistance away, owning her mouth, twining with her tongue. His lips scorched hers the same way his soul sought hers, wanting back their relationship. His kiss delivered a message that her ears would never believe, thanks to the abandonment she’d suffered, first from her parents and then him.

Lance cursed softly. “Fucccck.” He groaned against her mouth.

Her pulse raced. The throb in his body was overwhelming, like it was attached to her brain because she couldn’t stop the primal beat from filling her mind.

She sucked in a deep breath. It thrust her breasts forward, and her peaked nipples poked at the white material of her dress, their outline tattling her arousal. She didn’t care. This was the man she loved. The only man for her.

She bit her lip, worried it with white, tiny, even teeth, making it red, raw, sexy.

Lance tugged on her top, the fabric gave, revealing a bra that barely held her creamy, pebble-tipped mounds. Her chest pumped for breath.

He shoved her bra down, straps over her shoulders and lowered his head to suck one nipple. He latched on, taking it in deeply, releasing it with a pop. His fingers reached for her other nipple, tweaking and tugging on it, rolling it between fingertips while it grew stiffer and stiffer, sending jolt after jolt between her nipples and clit.

Her chest hurt, burning with a need to breathe, reminding her she was holding her breath.

His lips on her breast, his hand on her other breast were overwhelming, but they did nothing to satisfy the aching, pulsing desire between her legs. When he bit down on her nipple, she almost came undone. Her hand flew down to her shorts, pushing them off with one hand, alternating between hips until they were low enough to shimmy off. She lowered her hand between her legs.

Lance’s brows raised, desire flashed in his eyes.

Mac slipped a finger between her folds, found the wetness he’d created had already drenched her.

Her fingers didn’t stop even though he was watching her hand, if anything, seeing naked lust on his face fueled her. He pulled on her nipples with both hands while he watched her touching herself.

“Work that pussy.”

The way he said it made her inner muscles clench, and her fingers moved faster and faster in tight circles on the tiny center of her desire.

“I want to watch you fuck yourself,” he whispered in her ear. “Now.”

“Oh god,” she gasped, panting and tormented with pleasure.

She wanted him. Did she ever. The way he turned her on and left her needing him made her want to do the dirtiest things to herself while he enjoyed watching.

“Now.” Lance brushed his lips across her nipple, his scruffiness teased her sensitive flesh, lighting it further on fire as she imagined that beard between her legs, licking the area she’d shaved clean.

She shoved a finger in and closed her eyes. A gasp, followed by an exhaled breath escaped her.

She moved her finger in and out.

“That’s it, Mac. Touch yourself the way you want me to.” His breath was hot on her nipple, then she felt it traveling lower.

She held her breath captive while his tongue made a slow slick trail over her stomach. She sucked it in, almost self-conscious.

Mac pushed her finger in then pulled it out. In, out.

“Put another finger in,” he groaned against her skin.

She did, enjoying the filling sensation.

His hot tongue separated her folds and touched her clit,

Mac jumped.

His tongue swiped at her clit, faster, harder, faster. He switched to sucking. Then he licked more.

He pushed her legs wider. She leaned against the counter.

She pulled her fingers out, holding his head in place.

Lance slid his fingers inside, two, then a third, widening her, driving deeply, then curling upward while his tongue tormented her with its persistent licking, sucking, and flicking.

Mac’s legs shook, slowly losing the good fight. When he removed his fingers and slipped his tongue into her, pulling out her moisture, licking her and sucking her lips in then letting them out with a loud smacking pop, she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out. His whole face, beard scratching and tickling, rubbed on her folds.

Her hands were unstoppable, digging into his hair, pulling at it, pushing him closer.

His fingers quickened their pace, matched by her breathing and leg shaking.

“Oh, God. Lance! Oh. My. God.” She climaxed, falling apart.

His groan pushed her further and another spasm began, as she came undone again, wave after wave, she rode to a new place; one she’d never been before.

His lips slick with her moisture, his beard glistening with her essence, Lance kissed her, letting her savor what he’d done for her.

He licked his lips, his eyes flaming amber gold, his face a mask of pure desire. He dropped his pants.

Mac reached out, touching the hotness, the hardness. Holding him in her grip, squeezing him.

He raised a hand to her breasts, pushing them together, watching her while his tongue traveled from one nipple to the other, spanning the short distance quickly. Then he lowered his head, letting her breasts caress his cheeks, the beard scratching her tender flesh.

Mac moved her hand forward and backward.

“Damn.” Lance growled. With one swift plunge, he drove into her, her body stretching to take him in, gripping him tightly.

He pulled back, then pushed in deeper.

Mac gasped from the deepness, arching her back forward, trying to get even more of him, finding pleasure in the pain of having his largeness so far inside. She closed her eyes and relished every thrust, ever plunge, every drive.

When he stopped, her eyes flew open. The golden amber glow in his gaze was intense. She realized she was looking right into his bear’s heart. Lance roared, driving deeper, pulling her close, driving his mouth into her neck, baring his teeth. Heat from his climax shot deep inside her.

An orgasm ripped through her body. He held her tightly while her body spasmed with aftershocks.

I
t was only
a few hours after they’d made love that everything fell apart…

M
ac sat
in the bedroom of her cottage, which Lance had moved into, in front of the computer, monitoring some remote cameras the reserve had set up on the mountain tops.

Lance walked in. “I have to go,” he said.

And Mac, completely in the dark as to what he was talking about, assumed he meant the grocery store. Or Mae’s. Or something.

Until he pulled out his suitcase.

Perplexed, she stared at him. Suitcase? For…?

She couldn’t come up with an answer.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to leave. And—” His face was chiseled from granite. “I can’t have you waiting for me.”

Anger began to seep into Mac’s pores.

“What does that mean?”

He shook his head. That was the only thing that could be remotely considered a response.

They’d couplebonded a year earlier. They were mates. She accepted his bear, accepted the shifter lifestyle, accepted the shifter responsibilities and accountability. But this…

This went against shifter accountability. Against her personal beliefs. And she’d thought it went against Lance’s principles.

“So that’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“I love you.”

And he left. Got in his old truck. And left. Just like that.

And took everything that mattered to Mac with him. Just like her father walked out, without a word or a care, so did Lance.

He’s no better than my mother
, who took the first chance she had to send Mac away to school.

As if I were a troubled child. Or a delinquent.

Her father abandoned her.

Her mother shipped her off.

No wonder I don’t trust anything but animals.

At first when she’d met Lance, she’d kept him at arm’s length. She didn’t trust people; she believed they would let her down. They already had.

Then she dropped her defenses and let Lance in.

It started with a wolf.

I
t started with a wolf
…

M
ac was relatively
new at the clinic. And it was her Saturday to cover the shift. Every Saturday a different person had to work the desk.

Wouldn’t you know it; this was her Saturday.

She was shutting down the computer and reflecting on a quiet afternoon hiking with her Belgian sheepdog and then some reading and enjoying the cottage she’d just moved into less than a month ago.

Except the door flew open.

He blocked the sunlight, this large man standing in the doorway. Deep blue eyes probed into her very soul, seeing her for who she was. The widest shoulders and thickest chest she’d ever seen on a man. She surveyed that chest, then her eyes drew downward to the vee it created as it merged with his hips.

And right there in the midst of all that sex on a stick hotness—a limp wolf.

The brownish-gray creature lay lifeless in his arms.

Except it wasn’t dead. She led the man holding the wolf into one of the examination rooms.

Taking care of animals—that was her thing. She forgot to put her walls up while she was tending to the wolf.

She’d let her guard go and with it, her heart.

Over the wolf’s long road to recovery, she’d slowly become close to the man.

Then one day, he’d called her. He’d been trying to disable a trap and it had snapped on his arm. He couldn’t take it off. He couldn’t drive. He was stuck. All he could do was take out his phone and call her.

She’d wondered why he didn’t call his brother Cross, but later, much later, she’d found out Cross’s bear would’ve killed him if he’d found him unable to defend himself.

She found Lance’s truck, parked next to it, and headed off for the woods. He’d given her specific directions. When she arrived on the scene, she found a bear in a trap—not Lance. She’d stayed a good distance from the trapped grizzly.

She may love animals, but she was no fool. She knew exactly what a grizzly could do to her.

But where the hell was Lance? He said he was caught in a trap. Were there two traps?

Then the grizzly saw her. He locked his gaze on her. His eyes flashed, an indigo color in their depths, almost like Lance’s eye color.

She backed up. She had to find Lance. The rangers could deal with the bear. She’d call them. Mac reached for her phone. Her case, always on her hip, was empty.

What the hell?

She’d dropped her phone somewhere. Now she couldn’t call Lance. She couldn’t call the rangers.

All she could do was—maybe she could run to her Jeep, see if the phone was there. And she could call Lance.

She turned toward the clearing she’d parked in and started that way, ignoring the bear, and the crunching and creaking sounds it made behind her,

“MacKenzie.” Lance’s voice sounded hoarse with pain.

She whirled around.

The bear was gone!

In the same place the bear had been, lay Lance on the forest floor, trap around his forearm, incapacitating him, blood draining from the wound.

He was pale, his twinkling navy blue eyes dull.

I’m not hallucinating. I can’t be. So what the hell is going on here?

“Lance?” She ran toward him, trying to keep her medical bag from jostling too much. “I could have sworn I just saw—never mind.” She’d just sound crazy.

With his directions and his brawn, she managed to free him from the trap, then wrapped gauze around his arm. The forest floor was full of blood. His clothing was covered in crimson.

“Can you walk to your truck? I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“No hospital,” he groaned. “Take me to Doc’s.”

“You’ll need more than that.”

“No.”

“Listen, I can’t argue with you. You’ve lost enough blood already.”

“You—”

A growl interrupted Lance.

She whirled around. Four wolves, snarling, approached.

Not good. Not good at all. The blood brought them in, and now they stood between them and the vehicles.

Not that Lance could run to the vehicle with her, anyway.

“Heaaaaya!” she yelled at the pack.

They weren’t impressed. The wolves stood their ground.

“I can’t have you getting hurt,” Lance said. “And don’t run from them. That would play right into what they want. You have to let me take care of this, and promise me you won’t be afraid.”

She gave him a look. He was delirious from blood loss.

“Get behind me, turn around, don’t watch. Promise me you won’t look.”

“Okay.” She stepped back, turned around.

She hadn’t meant to lie.

But then came the growls, followed by a bellow that was much too close for comfort and created by a creature that had to be very much larger than the wolves.

She spun around. Where Lance had been, there now was a grizzly. The same grizzly, if she had to make a guess. The wolves were clearly not happy about the grizzly’s appearance, but they gave in to the larger predator, turning tail and running into the trees. She spun back, facing away, and closed her eyes. If the bear was going to turn around and kill her, she wasn’t going to be watching him when he did.

The forest was silent. The bear’s breath was heavy and hot, laying on her body, leaving a sensation of warm humidity against her flesh. A shiver coursed down her spine. She remained frozen.

Still, she kept her eyes closed. The bear’s heated snorts didn’t go away. For what felt like eternity but probably wasn’t much more than seconds, she squeezed her eyes tightly.

Then the creaking and crunching sounds she’d heard earlier.

Then silence.

Complete and total silence.

So much so that she finally opened her eyes.

Leaning against a tree, his face a diagram of pain, his features drawn, eyes watching her, the man who saved the wolf.

She said not a word, studying him.

She knew what this meant. Oh, yeah. She’d heard of shifters. But who would’ve believed it?

He was silent, waiting for her reaction. When she didn’t give him one, he spoke. “I wanted to tell you in my own good time.”

The course of their relationship was natural. The woman who didn’t trust and quit believing in humanity had met a man who was so much more than human.

The woman who could only trust animals had found a man who shared his soul with a beast.

Mac had no defenses against this. She knew she’d finally met the one person she could trust.

U
ntil that day
, the day he left…