Landon (In Safe Hands Book 1) (17 page)

Landon
comes up behind me as I’m trying to remove my shirt. Bumps and bruises, my ass.
My whole body feels like it’s been squashed under a boulder. His hands gently
pull the shirt over my head and soft lips trail down my shoulder. When I turn
to face him, his eyes darken at the strip of bruising the belt left across my
torso. “I’m going to kill that drunk asshole.”

“No,
he’s going to go to jail. That’s enough.”

He
unfastens my pants and holds me steady while I step out of them and my panties.
“Go soak for a while. I’ll let you know when the food is here.”

It’s
so sweet, how he’s taking care of me and Ethan. I sink back into the hot water
until my ears are covered, blocking out the distant sound of the T.V. and
plunging myself into a world where all that exists is silence and the smell of
lavender. The reality of the day hits me and I realize what could have
happened.

I
could’ve lost Ethan, or I could’ve died and he’d have been left in foster care.
One or both of us could’ve been seriously injured. Sore muscles or not, we were
both incredibly lucky.

I
feel like my luck has changed. In the last two months, I went from struggling
to keep food in the fridge to owning a nice home, from trying to keep my piece
of shit car from dying to driving a brand new one. There’s no more struggling
to keep my tuition paid or worrying about how to pay Ethan’s next year. And now
I’m going to marry the most perfect man in the world. Well, perfect for me,
anyway. For the first time since I can remember, I’m truly happy.

I
must doze off for a bit because the next thing I know, I’m surrounded in chilly
water, and a hand is sliding under my head. My eyes pop open to see Landon’s
amused face above me. “Are you trying to drown yourself, you crazy woman?”

“Guess
I was too comfortable.”

“The
food’s here. Do you need help getting out?”

“Nah,
I’m a little sore, that’s all. I’ll be out in a minute.”

His
eyes travel over the bruises that have become much more pronounced, and his
lips press together. I close my hand over his. “I’m okay. I promise.”

“All
right.” He drops a kiss on my forehead. “Yell if you need me.”

I’m
lounging on the couch, stuffed full of chicken parmesan when Frannie bursts
into the living room. “You!” She points at me. “You were in a car accident and
you didn’t call me?”

“It
wasn’t that bad.”

“Yeah,
obviously.” She studies my bruised skin and crosses her arms. “You should’ve
called. At least you called Landon and he had enough sense to call me.”

“No,
she didn’t,” Landon snorts, just entering the room to bring me a glass of
water. “Ethan called me. If she’d had her way, she’d have taken a taxi home.”

Thanks
a lot, tattletale. “Because I can take care of myself!” I don’t appreciate them
ganging up on me, and my head is starting to pound.

Frannie
shakes her head and sits across from me. “I know. You don’t need anyone.”

“I
didn’t say that.”

“No,
girl, you live it, and it’s time you realized not everyone will fail you like
your parents did.” Well, hell. “How would you feel if I was in the hospital and
didn’t tell you? Or if Landon was in an accident and you had to find out after
from one of his friends?”

“Pissed,”
I admit. “I just…didn’t want to bother you if I didn’t have to.”

“It’s
not a bother, Zo. You’re my best friend, you bitch. I love you.”

I
get to my feet to give her a hug. “I love you too. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t
let it happen again or I’ll kick your ass. And let this hot ass man take care
of you. I’d sure as hell let him take care of me.” She eyes him up and down in
typical Frannie style, and I can’t help but laugh. “Do you have any brothers,
bright eyes?”

“No
brothers. What happened with Jeremy?”

“Ran
its course,” she replies with a shrug, but I see a slight wince cross her face.
She must’ve really liked him. “Anyway, I have to get to work, but if you need
me, you call.” Her hands are on her hips as she glares at me.

“I
will.”

Landon
wraps his arms around me and we cuddle on the couch after Frannie leaves. “She was
pissed,” I remark.

“She
was hurt, Zo. Just like I was. Did it even occur to you to call me?”

My
arms find their way around his warm middle. “It did. I just thought why worry
you when you couldn’t…I mean, it was daytime.”

“I
get it, but as you can see, I can also take care of myself. I don’t want you to
hesitate to call the next time something happens just because the sun’s out.”
His finger slips under my chin to tilt my head until our eyes lock. “Promise
me.”

“I
promise.”

They’re
right. I’ve been on my own for so long, it’s hard for me to ask for help. Deep
down, I feel like they’ll resent me if I become too much of a burden, and then
I’ll lose them too. Even being loved takes some getting used to.

* * * *

Landon
stays with us for two days until both Ethan and I go back to school. It’s
finals time, so I pretty much have my nose buried in my books twenty-four
seven, and Landon has been busier than usual with ISH which hasn’t left us much
time to be together. We’ve discussed getting married and both agree we don’t
want a typical big wedding, but when I suggest a quick trip to the courthouse,
Landon balks.

“I
want it to be memorable for us,” he explains. I can’t argue with that.

When
we finally get a night to spend together, Ethan is staying over at a friend’s
house, so Landon takes the opportunity to “christen” my new house. Which means
he bends me over any piece of furniture that will hold my weight. I’m laid out
on the kitchen table, trembling from innumerable orgasms, when he curses and
steps back.

“What’s
wrong?” I murmur, still riding the high. The look of pure fear on his face
makes me focus, and I sit up.

“The
condom broke. I came inside you.”

“I’m
on the pill. It’s okay. I was going to suggest we stop using them anyway.”

He
paces through the house, stopping to jerk on his underwear. Whoa. Can you say
overreaction? I pause long enough to pull my panties on and his discarded
T-shirt. Anxiety contorts his face as he runs his hands through his overlong
hair. “We can’t. I can’t get you pregnant. Shit, Zo, we should’ve already
talked about this. I mean, do you want kids? Because I can’t…I just can’t,” he
rambles.

“Hey!”
I grip his face in my palms. “Calm down. I never miss a pill, but if you’re
worried, we’ll go get a morning after pill, just to make sure.”

“Yeah?
Okay.” He takes a deep breath and begins to hunt for his jeans.

I
want to talk about this, about why he freaked out and what he has against
having kids, but I can see he won’t be able to focus until he’s sure I’m not
already pregnant. Although a late night trip to a twenty-four hour drug store
wasn’t exactly what I planned tonight, that’s where we end up.

The
pharmacist, a young woman, gives me a commiserating smile as we’re checking
out. I’m sure we aren’t the only people who show up at midnight for emergency
birth control. After Landon watches me wash down the pill with a sip of soda,
his shoulders finally relax.

Awkward
silence fills the car on the ride home. I stare out the window, but I’m not
really watching the scenery go by. My thoughts are a jumbled mess. Landon is
right about one thing, we should have discussed having kids before we got
engaged. I always pictured myself raising children, maybe adopting or
fostering. Can I really give that up? I’d do anything for Landon, including
switching to a more nocturnal schedule, but I really want a family someday,
kids I can love and nurture the way I wanted to be when I was little. I never
got my wish, but how can I give up the chance to give it to another hurting,
lonely child?

A
lump forms in my throat at the thought of never having a family, at having to
choose between the man I love, and any hope of future children. Landon turns
off the car, and I realize we’re parked in my driveway.

“I’m
sorry, Zo. Please, don’t cry.” Strong arms reach around me and pull me into his
lap.

“I’m
not,” I lie. The comfort of his arms pushes me over the edge and the tears I’ve
been fighting run down my cheeks.

“I
didn’t mean to react like that.”

“You
were scared,” I whisper.

“Yeah.”

I
lay my head on his shoulder. “Why, though? Can you tell me why kids scare you?”

His
hand strokes my hair, then travels down my back. “Kids don’t scare me,
sweetheart. Passing on my disease to a kid scares me.”

God,
how dense can I be? XP is genetic. “Oh.”

“Yeah,
and I know they say the chances are slim, both parents have to be carriers, and
so on, but I just can’t risk it.”

“I
understand.”

“I
know I should’ve told you before, but I didn’t want to lose you. You shouldn’t
have to give up having children on my account.”

I
turn to look into his eyes in the dim moonlight. “So, is that the only reason,
or do you not want to raise children? Because there’s always adoption.”

A
slow smile brightens his face. “You’d consider adoption?”

“Of
course. I’ve always thought about it. There are so many kids in the foster care
system. Kids who have no one. I don’t need to have a baby with my blood, but I
do want children someday.”

Warm
lips land on mine, and his slow, searching kiss reassures me that everything is
okay. We’re okay. “You’re amazing,” he murmurs. “Come on, let’s get inside.”

Zoe

A
few weeks before Christmas, Ethan comes home excited. “Zo! Colin and his foster
family are going to a ski resort in Vermont for Christmas and they invited me
to go! I don’t need any money or anything. Please say I can go!”

A
smile stretches his eager face. Christmas doesn’t mean much to either of us.
We’ve pretty much avoided anything religious since leaving the church, so I
shouldn’t be surprised he wants to use the time to go away with his boyfriend.
“You aren’t going to come back married or anything are you?” I tease.

“Of
course not! So? Can I?”

“Yes,
but I want to speak to his foster parents. And you should find out how many
members of their family are going and get each one a small gift. You don’t want
to be left out on Christmas morning when everyone is trading gifts.”

He
leaps to his feet and grabs his phone. “I will! Shit.” He pauses and stares at
me. “What should I get? Gift cards?”

“We’ll
go shopping before you leave,” I promise, laughing, and he’s off to call Colin
and let him know he can go.

Landon
and I had a long talk about our living arrangements and what we want after
we’re married. We agree that he’ll move in with me, and in a few years, we’ll
buy or build our own house and leave this one to Ethan. It’s hard to wrap my
mind around the fact that money isn’t an issue anymore. That we can go where we
want, do what we want. It doesn’t alter my goal to be an evolutionary
biologist, but it sure as hell makes it more attainable.

Landon
calls a little after nine and leaves a voicemail. “Hey beautiful. I had some
things to take care of, but I’ll still be over tonight by midnight. You don’t
have to wait up, but I will be waking you up…with my tongue.”

I
get his message as soon as I get out of the shower and his deep voiced threat
sends an excited shiver through me. An idea forms in my head and impulsively, I
unwrap my towel and lie back on my bed. I’ve never even taken a naked picture,
much less sent one, but before I can change my mind, I take a picture of myself
reclined on the bed, pointing the phone where he can see I’m waxed bare for
him.

I
send it along with the message. –I’ll be waiting.-

Shit.
I just put a naked picture of me out into the world. What’s wrong with me?

My
phone beeps less than a minute later.

-Christ,
woman, are you trying to kill me?-

-Does
that mean you like it?-

God,
I love fucking with this man.

-Keep
teasing me, Ms. Difficult. I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow.-

You
know what I found out? The second nude selfie is easier, especially since it’s
only a breast shot. Although, I may have been pinching a hardened nipple. His
reply is instant.

-I’m
fucking you the second I step through the door.-

Grinning,
I reply. –What, no dick pic?-

A
few seconds later, a picture of Landon’s rock hard cock fills my screen. Wait,
is that the edge of his driver’s seat?

-Holy
shit. Are you driving? Stop texting!-

-You
started it. See you soon, baby.-

Crazy
man.

I
know there’s no way I’m going to fall asleep, but I change into a tiny pair of
lace panties and a thin camisole that leaves nothing to the imagination and
climb in bed with my tablet to read. I need to do something to take my mind off
of the throb between my legs while I wait for him. I have every intention of
faking sleep when he gets here, so he can wake me with that talented tongue.

I
spend the next two hours reading and playing around online. Dayna and I send a
few messages back and forth. She lives in Illinois now, and is going to college
to become a psychologist. It seems I wasn’t the only one who ran like hell once
I was of age. We make plans to get together soon, and I turn off my tablet.

Midnight
comes and goes without the sound of Landon letting himself in. When he still
hasn’t shown at one a.m. I text him.

-Did
you get held up? I might have to start without you.-

No
reply.

It’s
not like Landon to be this late. When he says he’s going to do something, he
always follows through or at least calls to explain what happened. When he
still hasn’t shown by three o’clock, I know something is wrong.

I
try to text him again, hoping maybe he just didn’t get the first one.

-Getting
worried about you. Please let me know you’re okay.-

Nothing.
Silence has never sounded so loud. I’m not sure what to do. Should I go to his
house and check on him, or will that make me seem like a clingy stalker? Maybe
I should call Dare and see if he’s with him, but again, I feel like that’s
entering the overbearing girlfriend area. While I’m trying to decide what to
do, my phone beeps and I breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of Landon’s
name. Until I read the message.

-We’re
done. Don’t message me again.-

What
the fuck? My heart climbs into my throat, and I sit up on the edge of the bed.
Did he just break up with me by text message? Everything was fine this morning.
What the hell could’ve happened since then to make him dump me? Because I
admitted I want kids someday?

My
eyes fill with tears at the sight of the ring on my finger. He seemed so happy
to marry me, we were talking about him moving in, and he was bugging me about
getting a dog. I can’t believe he’d do this to me, or to Ethan. I just can’t
believe it.

Then
it hits me. I
can’t
believe it. It can’t be true. I don’t know what’s
going on, but I’m going to find out. Maybe he lost his phone and someone found
it and thought they’d be an asshole. I scribble a note to Ethan, explaining
where I’ve gone, and grab my coat and car keys. I make it to Landon’s in record
time, trying hard not to think of what I’m going to say if he is the one who
sent the message. I can’t even think about it.

The
security light outside Landon’s house comes on as I park underneath it. His car
is in the drive, but it doesn’t look like any of the other ISH guys are here. I
take a deep breath and try to rein in my emotions before climbing out of the
car.

Landon’s
front door is ajar. A chill runs through me as thoughts of every horror movie
I’ve seen run through my head. Am I going to be the stupid girl who goes in,
the one I always yell at? It appears so. I can’t call the cops, not from ISH
headquarters. I’ll just go in and see if everything is okay.

Wind
howls through the trees, making the scene a lot creepier, and I jump when a cat
darts across the yard. As quietly as possible, I make my way up the steps and
across the porch, which creaks in way too many places. If someone is just
inside, they’ve surely heard me by now, but I can’t stop. I have to know if
he’s okay.

His
living room lights are on, as is the T.V., and a bottle of soda sits on the
coffee table next to the remote. Nothing is out of place. It’s everything I can
do not to call out his name, but something just doesn’t feel right to me.

I
approach the room they use for ISH, and I’m rooted to the spot as terror like
I’ve never experienced grips me. Everything slows down and I can hear my
heartbeat in my ears. My brain can’t seem to process what I’m seeing and my
gaze sweeps over the room, trying to take in the blood, the destruction.
“Landon?” The word comes out lower than a whisper.

A
keyboard hangs by its cord from one of the desks, dangling above a puddle of
blood. Bloody footprints are smeared across the floor, and droplets decorate
the nearby wall. Even in my panic, I’m careful not to step in the blood or
touch anything. “Landon!” I yell, desperately hoping he’ll walk in and explain
what happened. There’s nothing but the sound of the wind whipping around the
house.

I
run to check every room, but he’s gone. My hands feel numb and it takes me two
tries to press the right buttons to call Dare. He answers on the second ring.

“Zoe?”

“Dare!
He’s gone and there’s blood. And a monitor is broken, but his car is here.” I
ramble on, talking so fast it’s a wonder he can even understand me.

“Zoe!
Listen to me.” The way he barks my name makes me stop and listen.

“I-I’m
listening.”

“Don’t
call the police. I’m on my way to you right now. Lock the front door and only
open it to me, do you understand?”

“Yes,
please hurry.”

“Five
minutes,” he says. I take Dare’s advice and lock the door, though it seems
unnecessary now. I doubt whoever did this is coming back. It’s a good thing
Landon has hardwood floors instead of carpet since I’d have worn it away pacing
back and forth throughout the house, a million possible scenarios running
through my head, each one worse than the last.

There’s
a lot of blood, but that doesn’t mean he’s fatally wounded, right? Head
injuries bleed a lot. Hell, Ethan has had nose bleeds that scared the shit out
of me. He could’ve gone to the hospital. I should call the hospitals!

The
fact that his car hasn’t left the drive doesn’t occur to me until I’ve already
called the two main hospitals in our area and been told he isn’t there.

True
to his word, Dare shows up five minutes later with Justus and Jeremy in tow.
They scan the scene for a moment before Justus and Jeremy jump on the two
undamaged computers. “What are they doing?” I cry. “We need to find him…or call
the cops, or something!”

“They’re
looking for him. If this is someone who figured out who he is and what he does,
the evidence will be there.” His eyes meet mine. “We’ll find him. When was the
last time you heard from him?”

“A
little after ten. He said he was coming over.”

Dare
produces his phone and tries to call Landon’s. When he gets sent to voicemail,
he hangs up and starts touching the screen again. “We have an app where we can
track each other, just in case there’s an emergency.”

“There’s
nothing here,” Justus announces. “Nothing to suggest he’s been doxed.”

“Everything
appears to be secure,” Jeremy agrees.

“Shit.
I almost had a track on him. It lead to the woods beside Cowler Lake, but then
it failed. It’s possible the phone is off or the battery is dead.”

“What
now?” I ask.

“Now,
you go home and we’ll find him,” Jeremy replies.

“You’re
out of your fucking mind if you think I’m not going with you. It’s nearly dawn.
What if he can’t get out of the sun?”

Dare
slides his hand under my jaw. “You want to go with us, you do what I say when I
say it, do you understand? If I tell you to run or hide, you fucking do it no
matter what’s going on. Landon will never forgive me if I put you in danger.”

“Whatever
you tell me,” I promise.

Jeremy
holds up Landon’s sun proof suit and Dare nods. “Then let’s go find him.”

Dare
and Jeremy ride in the front seat of Dare’s SUV while I sit on the edge of the
back seat, chewing my nails to the bone. Justus follows behind us in his truck.
Jeremy keeps trying to track Landon’s cell, but it must be turned off.

Or
destroyed. Tossed in a river or shallow grave with him.
A few deep
breaths help me get a grip on the panic lurking just under the surface of my
calm demeanor. I can’t think that way. I shouldn’t jump to those conclusions,
but I can’t help it. Other than Ethan, Landon is the only person to ever love
me. We planned to spend the rest of our lives together, and now I don’t think I
could function without him by my side.

Jeremy
gives up trying to track Landon and calls Mason Reed, the same man who Landon
called when Colin needed help. After a curt conversation, he hangs up and goes
back to trying to get the tracking app to show Landon’s whereabouts.

“It
shows him traveling through Rockville, then taking a left on County Road Five.
That road circles Cowler Lake. There’s nothing out there but campsites and
summer cabins,” Jeremy tells Dare.

“Someone
has him and is taking him to a deserted lake,” I clarify, my voice barely above
a whisper.

Jeremy
and Dare’s eyes meet for a moment before Dare looks at me in the rearview
mirror. “Or he took care of whoever attacked him and needs to hide the
evidence.”

“I
don’t care what he did. I don’t care if he’s leaving a trail of bodies behind
him, I want to see him. I have to know he’s okay.” My eyes scan the skyline as
the sun breaks over the horizon. If he’s outside, our time is running out.

The
lake isn’t exactly massive, but when it comes into view, some of my hope
drains. It will take hours to search this area. The woods are dense and only
broken here and there by cleared trails leading to nearby cabins and campsites.
“We have to call the cops. They can get a search party. Find him quicker,” I
plead.

“And
take him to jail if he’s burying a body,” Jeremy grumbles.

Dare
shoots him a warning look before parking alongside the lake. “We’ll find him.
And we have more help coming. Mason is friends with an officer and can make
sure only the right people show up.”