Lane (Made From Stone Book 1) (20 page)

I can’t imagine the anguish his family must be feeling. Even though no one has started to point fingers, I know they’re going to hold me responsible. I acted like a coward; I was a coward and I’m not the one that’s facing the consequences.

When we get to the waiting room, the sight humbles me. Not only is Lane’s entire family here, but also almost all of this county’s police officers and firefighters are. This only further confirms that I will become public enemy number one if he doesn’t make it. If Fred were alive, I would at least be in second place.

Before I face his family and friends, I lower my head and take a breath. The one thing I know about grief is that people lash out. So, whatever it is they need to say to me, I’ll stand here and take it. I won’t hide and be a coward for the second time tonight.

Lane squeezes my hand in reassurance as he nudges me forward. I open my eyes and scan the room hoping to find Gavin's parents. They’re the ones I owe the biggest apology. I find them sitting in the corner of the room and Kerrigan is in bad shape, but Maddox is doing his best to hold the both of them together.

“Kerrigan? Maddox?” I say quietly so that I don't startle them.

Kerrigan's head quickly snaps up and then she jumps from her seat and pulls me tightly into her open arms without a thought. “I'm so happy you're alright. Did he hurt you?” she demands.

Humbled by her reaction, I hug her back tightly, “No, he didn't. I'm fine.”

“Good. That's good,” she exhales.

I turn to Maddox to pour out my apologies. “Maddox, I'm so sorry. It was stupid of me to go alone. What can I do?”

“Pray for my son,” he says, smiling at me weakly.

I've never been religious. I honestly view myself as agnostic, but if this is what I can do for them, I will.

After a few moments Maddox asks, “Do you know why he was targeting you and your sister?”

“My mom owed him money, I guess. He killed her. He said he was going to sell off my car… After he… he killed me.” I couldn’t bring myself to say all of it.

Lane’s hands are like a vice grip on mine and he pulls me in closer to hold on for dear life. I sit down next to Kerrigan and instead of talking, we all just take turns holding hands and looking at the clock. I'm not sure how many hours pass before the doctor comes out. The entire room seems to hold its breath as the doctor speaks.

“We were able to remove the bullet and repair some of the damage to his heart muscle. That said, we won't know his prognosis for a few days. He coded on the table multiple times. For now I can only say we are cautiously optimistic, but he’s not out of the woods yet.”

We all take a huge breath and even laugh a little. Though it isn’t ideal, it’s better than we expected and it will have to work for now. There’re a few handshakes, high fives, and even a few jokes about the tough-as-nails Gavin before his co-workers starts to disperse for the night.

“Are you ready to head home?” Lane asks hopefully.

“No, I really would like to stay with his parents if that’s okay,” I reply with a sad half smile.

“Ok. I'm going to grab coffee for everyone. Any special requests?”

“No, thanks,” I respond with a smile and sit down again.

“Mallory, honey, you really should go home and rest,” Kerrigan says.

“I can’t. I can’t leave him.”

They both give me a little smile and we try to get as comfortable as we can. It's going to be a long night.

“Here you all go.” Lane returns and hands us our coffee.

“Thanks” I reply halfheartedly. He takes the seat next to me and lays his arm across my shoulder. He's so warm, so comforting that I instinctively rest my head on his chest. In this devastating situation, I'm thankful to be here with his entire family. As I look around the room and see the love and concern that matches my own on their faces, I feel I'm where I belong. I love every one of them, and I'm grateful to know I get to be a part of this incredible family.

How is this even possible? I know getting pregnant is possible, but now? Lane and I tried for four years to have another baby. Four years of heartache and unsuccessful fertility therapy. We were hopeful for so long, but after our third miscarriage, I couldn't take the heartbreak anymore. Annie was enough for us, but I held onto her basinet for years, just hoping that maybe the next time would stick.

Now my only baby is ten years old! She's smart and so independent. I think when Annie turned eight we finally let go of our dream to have another child. I've gotten used to sleeping again, and the ease of walking out the door without a diaper bag over my shoulder.

God! Lane is thirty-eight now! Will he even want a baby now? It's been a couple of years since we've even talked about it. My thoughts are going a million miles a minute when the Dr. opens the door to my exam room.

“Mrs. Stone, we’d like to do an ultrasound to see how far along you are.”

“O….ok...” All of a sudden, I find myself nervous that it’ll be another ‘I'm sorry Mrs. Stone, we can’t find the heartbeat’. Another ‘We’ll need you to schedule a D&C’, Another heartbreak. As surprised as I am, I don’t want to lose my baby.

Life couldn't be more perfect. I have an amazing wife who has been my rock in more ways than I can count and a beautiful, and stubborn, daughter who looks and acts more like her beautiful mother every day.

My career couldn't be more fulfilling; I was forced to resign from Lakemont after Jill threatened to go to the media when the school didn't let me go. We all tried to reason with her, but failed. She took it much more personally than they knew. Looking back now, it was a blessing in disguise because I was offered a job at George Washington High School, one of Chicago's inner city schools. At first I was hesitant, I didn’t know if I would be able to make a difference in their lives, but every year at least a few will excel and rise above.   The way they're able to overcome obstacles is motivation enough to be a better teacher and coach, so it’s been great. I have no complaints.

I think that's one of the many reasons I love Mallory so much. She herself has overcome so much tragedy and loss. A year after she was attacked, her mother's remains were recovered from a shallow grave just outside the city limits.

We laid her to rest next to her husband, and I think both Mallory and her sister got the closure they needed to be able to move on.

When it came time for us to get married, I was surprised when Mallory asked that we just go to the courthouse. She said it didn't feel right having a big church wedding without having her parents there. All she ever wanted was to be Mrs. Stone. We went the next day and got married.

No marriage is perfect, but it's close enough. Over the years, I've watched my wife grow into a confident woman. She's done what she set out to do, and is a school counselor in the high school I work at. She has a way with the kids that need her the most.

It's been hard watching my wife struggle with infertility. When she had her third miscarriage I told her it was time to stop. Even though she agreed, I don't know if she was ever at peace with that decision. She has gone from hopeful to depressed more times than I can count and, as her husband, I wanted to give her everything. It was difficult when the only thing she truly wanted, I couldn't give.

The sound of the door being unlocked pulls me from my thoughts and I get up to greet her.

“How’d it go?” I ask. I know she had an appointment with the gynecologist. Since she just wanted to change her form of birth control, I decided I didn't need to be there. When she doesn't answer, I look at her face. “What is it? Are you ok?” I question worriedly because I can tell she's been crying.

“Sit down,” she says nervously. Oh, this can't be good.

“No. Please just tell me,” I beg.

She fishes in her purse for a little bit and pulls out a piece of paper, handing it to me.

Wait! What? I know what this is. It's an ultrasound photo.

“Mallory?”

“Congratulations!” She says as her shoulders shrug uncertainly.

“Are you...? Is this...? Are we having a baby?” I question, stuttering uncertainly.

“Yes, Lane. A boy.” She says and then points to his obvious male parts.

“How?” I ask, dumbfounded.

Mallory cracks up laughing. “Really? How?”

I can't help but return the laughter. “I mean are you sure? Is he ok? Are you ok?”

“Yes, we are both good. I'm already 20 weeks pregnant. Well passed the worry stage. I thought because I took my birth control randomly it was messing with my cycle. That and I started training for that 10k run for the Wounded Warrior Project.”

“I can't believe this,” I say shocked. Mallory isn't showing at all. I'm going to be a dad again. I get to be a part of what I missed with my daughter.

“Are you sure you want a baby? Now?” she asks.

“Mallory, I want whatever comes our way! I love you! I love my daughter and now I will have a son to love!” I lift her into my arms and swing her around as happy tears spill from both our eyes. At this moment, time stands still. This moment is one of the defining moments in my life.

Annie walks into the room and giggles at the sight of us spinning in circles in the living room. I set Mallory down gently and motion for Annie to join us. We embrace as a family. We embrace the past. We embrace the present. Then I place my hand on Mallory’s stomach and together, as a family, we embrace the future.

Pending edits and storyline changes

I lived a full and happy life once, but these days, I live in the dark. My therapist tells me I'm suffering from PTSD, but I disagree. I don't relive the moment I was shot. I'm not afraid of pain or dying. No, death isn't something I fear.

Everyone says just get back out there and start living again. I know they mean well, but I'm not ever going to be who I was before I was shot. I was naive then. I believed I could save the world and I believed in the world I was trying to save.

Sitting on the porch of my tiny trailer, I feel on top of the world. Finally feeling free of what feels like a lifetime in chains.

Fifteen years ago, I stood before God and my family and promised to love and obey my husband. I had no idea at the time how literally he took those vows.