L.A.P.D. Special Investigations Series, Boxed Set: The Deceived, The Taken & The Silent (24 page)

A bigger dilemma was what she’d tell Chloe.

The doorbell rang. Her pulse jumped. Immediately her palms got clammy. After all she and Adam had been through together, why was she so freaking jittery now? He’d seen her at her absolute worst, sweaty, with frizzy hair and no makeup. He’d seen her naked…and they’d been intimate enough to make love, for crying out loud.

Heading for the door, she realized maybe that was the reason for her jitters. That kind of intimacy with someone she was in love with was a totally new experience. While she’d loved Rob for all that he was to her and all that he’d done for her, she knew now that she hadn’t been in love with him.

She both loved and was in love with Adam.

For all the good that might do.

In the foyer, she smoothed her palms down the thighs of her white linen pants, took a breath and swung open the door. Adam stood there looking much as he had the first time he’d shown up on her doorstep. A lifetime ago.

“Hi,” he finally said.

“Hi.” She stepped back and away from the door. “C’mon in.”

She closed the door after him. “Would you like something to drink? Iced tea? A beer?” She paused. “Or do you want to leave to see Harriet right away?”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Can we talk first?”

“Sure.” She led him into the family room. “Why don’t you sit while I get some tea?”

As she went into the kitchen, she wondered why he was so somber. After pouring the tea, she returned to find him standing at the fireplace fingering a photo from the mantel. A photo of Chloe, Rob and herself.

“We look like a happy family, don’t we?”

“I’m sure you were.” He put the photo back and took the tea she offered. “How’s Bobby? Is he around?”

“He’s fine. My friend Patti is entertaining him this afternoon at the amusement park. I thought it best not to take him along when we visited Harriet.” She motioned for him to sit, then sat beside him on the couch, tea in hand.

She was reminded again of the first time they’d sat in her living room in almost the same way. The heat and humidity…the tea.  Except now the house had been closed up for a while and it was relatively cool inside. She was sure it was just her who was hot and feeling the humidity.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

His eyes softened as he looked at her. “I thought, considering all that has happened, you might want to reconsider…” He pulled some folded papers from the inside pocket of his jacket. “I thought you might want to give the okay to have the body exhumed.”

A knot formed in Jillian’s chest. What had she expected? That he’d come here to pledge his undying love? That he’d ask her to marry him and they’d live happily ever after? How stupid, especially under the circumstances.

When she didn’t answer right away, he said, “I thought you might see some advantages to doing that now. Medical history for Bobby for school, knowing about your husband for sure…”

She nodded. She didn’t know why it bothered her to be talking about this. DNA needed to be done. It was as simple as that. “Didn’t you get a court order already?”

“I tried before I left, but apparently it got bogged down in the process somewhere. It’ll go much faster if you agreed to sign off on it. Once that happens, it’ll allow me to reevaluate the case based on the findings.”

“I suppose it’s best, but—”

“And once you know, you can get on with your life.”

She nodded. Yes, she could, one way or the other. But there was something terribly final about that last final stet in learning for sure whether Rob had faked his death and was still alive or not. Right now, she could assume he was alive, could even hope he was. But if she knew for sure, it meant she could no longer imagine she and Adam might somehow end up together. She’d have no hope for the kind of happiness she’d experienced in Costa Rica.

A wave of guilt washed over her. She should feel horrible even thinking like that.

“You’re right. Yes, I’ll sign the papers.” She no longer cared about Rob’s wishes in the matter. But what made her feel worse was that Adam was here on business. Strictly business.

After she signed the papers and they’d finished their tea in uncomfortable silence, Adam suggested they leave to visit Harriet. “We can take my car.”

She nodded, then got up to slip on her sandals.

On the way out the door, Adam paused, then said, “There’s something else I wanted to ask about.”

She glanced at him. “Shoot.”

“Have you thought about what you’ll do if he contacts you?”

He. Meaning Rob. Rob, Jack, whoever he was. Whoever he was…because, while he may physically be Rob, he wasn’t the man she’d once been married to.

And of course she’d thought about it. But she couldn’t answer Adam’s question. “This is like something out of a movie. These things don’t happen to ordinary people.”

He looked at her, his expression saying, Yes, but…

And he’d be right. It was happening to her and she was as ordinary as anyone. “I guess that’s a bridge to cross when I get to it.”

“Will you let me know if he contacts you?”

She couldn’t answer that, either. She truly didn’t know what she’d do. She doubted she would know until it happened. There were other things to consider. A little boy who missed his father—a father who’d left him in a horrible place with strangers. Chloe, who thought her father dead.

And what about loyalty and trust? And giving her husband the benefit of the doubt until she knew differently? What about standing by his side for better or for worse? She couldn’t let her love for Adam color what she should do.

She had to do the right thing. She just wasn’t sure what that was anymore.

Reason took hold. “If he is alive, why would you think he’d come here and expose himself? If he’s the criminal you think he is, that would be pretty stupid, wouldn’t it?”

Adam shook his head. “It’s just a thought. There’s always the chance that he had a compelling reason for what he did.”

Jillian pinched the skin between her eyes. “I don’t understand. I thought you were convinced he’d done something criminal.” He hadn’t taken her into his confidence enough to tell her what crime her husband had committed, other than drug involvement.

“I didn’t know one way or the other. I still don’t. The evidence indicates involvement in criminal activities. On the other hand, if he is a criminal, I don’t know why he’d use his own name. You might be right. The whole thing could be some huge coincidence. But I wanted you to know that if he does make contact, it’s vital for you to contact me or someone with the LAPD as soon as possible.”

Jillian realized if he still couldn’t tell her what he thought Rob was involved in, he still didn’t trust her. “And if I don’t?”

He shrugged. “We don’t need to get into all that. I just thought I’d let you know it’s the right thing to do.”

Adam had never taken her into his full confidence. And it looked as if he was still trying to hide something from her. “I might consider it if you’ll tell me why it’s important to do so.”

“I’d like to…but I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t? You don’t trust me, do you?”

“That’s not true. I wouldn’t have asked you to call me if I didn’t trust you. I would’ve had you followed.”

At those words, everything became perfectly clear. Whatever moments of intimacy they’d shared, whatever closeness and friendship they’d developed weren’t as important to Adam as his job. Getting his man. She’d been stupid to think otherwise.

Her heart ached with the realization.

“Okay.” She reached around him and opened the door. “Let’s go see Harriet.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

WHEN ADAM AND JILLIAN pulled into the parking lot at Meadow Brook Nursing Home, Jillian was gripped with second thoughts. She had no idea what Adam intended to accomplish here.

Walking into the building, she said, “I don’t think we should tell her anything. She’s old and not well. She could—”

“I have no intention of sending her into cardiac arrest,” Adam interrupted, then stopped in his tracks and stared at her. “You said a little while ago that I don’t trust you, but I think the reverse is true. You really don’t trust me, do you? And frankly, I don’t think you trust yourself.”

Just then, one of the aides saw them and greeted Jillian with a smile. “I’m so happy to see you, Jillian,” the aide said. “Harriet’s been asking about you every other minute, it seems.”

“Oh, no. I told her I was going on vacation. I hope she didn’t get overly concerned.”

“Well, the poor thing didn’t remember and just kept asking and asking.” The aide led them into the sitting room. “It’s not your fault, sweetie.”

“Still, I feel terrible.” Jillian saw Harriet and waved. “Do you want to wait here for a minute?” she asked Adam. “I’ll see how she’s doing.”

The aide left them alone, and as Jillian started to walk toward Harriet, Adam reached out to stop her. “We should talk to her in private.”

Jillian glanced around. “Right. I’ll see if we can take her to her room.” She skirted the tables and chairs to reach her mother-in-law, who was sitting near the window. “Hi, Harriet.”

Harriet gave Jillian a blank stare, as if trying to place her. Finally she said, “Where’s Chloe?”

“She’s still at the lake with her friend Hallie and her parents. She’ll be back next Sunday. I’ll bring her to see you then.”

“Who’s that man you came in with? Is he another doctor? I’m tired of doctors poking me all the time.”

“No, he’s not, he’s just a friend. I’d like you to meet him. How about if we all go to your room so we can chat for a bit?”

“He looks familiar.”

“Maybe so, he was here before to talk to you about Ro—Jack.”

“He’s Jack’s friend?”

“You could say that.” Jillian went behind Harriet’s wheelchair and placed her hands on the handles. “So let’s go where we can talk, okay?”

With that, Jillian maneuvered Harriet’s chair to the hallway where Adam had just gone. When they reached him, she said, “Harriet remembers you from before.”

“I like Jack’s friends,” Harriet piped up.

Adam arched a brow and gave Jillian a questioning look. She shrugged, kept on pushing and mouthed, “It’s all right.”

In the room, she wheeled Harriet to the window near a small oak table.

“Jack will be here soon,” Harriet said to Adam.

“Good, I’d like to see Jack,” Adam said. “When was the last time you talked to him, Mrs. Sullivan?”

Jillian noticed that while Adam was talking, another aide had come into the room with some pills in a small paper cup.

Harriet frowned. “I don’t remember.” Then she said, “I put all his things away. For safe keeping.”

The aide, a young woman, smiled pleasantly as if to say, she talks like that all the time.

Jillian exchanged glances with Adam.

Then Harriet added under her breath, “I have everything he gave me.”

“Where did you put his things?” Adam asked Harriet.

“In my safe-deposit box. I told him I would keep them there until he came back.”

Even though Jillian knew Harriet couldn’t help living in the past, she sounded so certain. And she didn’t usually fabricate things; what she said was usually something that had happened, but a very long time ago. Now she wondered.

Had Rob given his mother something that he’d kept from Jillian? She’d thought they shared everything. He’d certainly made sure he knew every detail of her life. Her stomach knotted.

As the aide handed Harriet the medications she was to take, Jillian said to Adam, “She does have a safe-deposit box, and since I’m the only relative, I have the key and her power of attorney.”

The aide finished up and left the room with Harriet, who told her, “My Jack, he’ll be home soon and you can meet him. He’s a nice boy. The best.”

Jillian didn’t know what to think. Harriet faded in and out so often, Jillian was doubtful that talking to her about the phone number would serve any purpose, and she told Adam so. He agreed, and soon they took their leave and went directly to Jillian’s to get the key.

Adam drove in silence and didn’t say a word until they reached the bank. Sitting beside each other at a table in the little room where the clerk had taken them with Harriet’s safe-deposit box, Jillian gestured for Adam to open it. He knew what he was looking for. She didn’t.

The box wasn’t very full, mostly jewelry and old letters. Jillian sat back while Adam put on a pair of surgical gloves, so as not to contaminate the evidence, if there was any, she guessed, and then proceeded to rummage through the stuff.

When he held up a packet of letters, she recognized the handwriting. Rob’s. The top letter was addressed to Harriet at her old address. Had he written to his mother when he was on the road? He’d never once mentioned that he had. Certainly he’d never written to her and Chloe.

Adam held out the packet for Jillian to see. The dates were indistinguishable, but as she looked closer, the postmark was—her stomach seized—Mirador.

She shoved Adam’s hand back. “I…I can’t do this. Will you?”

He nodded and she immediately got up and fled the room.

After a few minutes Adam poked his head out the door and motioned for the clerk to say they were finished. He had the envelopes in his hand as he led Jillian out to the car. “I’m taking you home,” he said without explanation.

Whatever Adam had read wasn’t good, she was certain. But she couldn’t bring herself to ask. Not right then.

Back at her place, they went inside. Adam called his partner, but she was oblivious to the conversation. Still shaken by the letters’ existence, she didn’t know what to do next. She wanted to know what was in those letters, but at the same time she didn’t.

When Adam came from the kitchen, where he’d made his call, she was curled up on the couch in the family room. He sat on the ottoman across from her, his expression one of concern. She stared at him and asked, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll need to have the lab examine the letters for authenticity.”

“Authenticity? You mean you think the letters aren’t from Rob? Why on earth would anyone fake something like that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’ve learned it’s best not to assume anything.”

“What did the letters say?”

Adam cleared his throat. He was obviously avoiding something.

“I need to know, Adam.”

“Yes, you do,” he said, his voice soft. “It has to be tough not knowing whether the person you love is dead or alive. It’s just that this is truly sensitive information, and if it gets into the wrong hands…”

There it was again. Distrust. “I don’t know what you think I’d do with whatever information is in there, Adam, but I assure you my interest is strictly personal,” she said as she snatched the packet from his hands. “I have two children who need to know if their father is dead or alive. And if you won’t tell me, I’ll read them myself. I need to know.”

He chewed on his bottom lip, watching her. What did he think she’d do, rip them to shreds?

Finally he said, “If you must, at least wear these.” He reached into his pocket and took out the latex gloves, then set them atop the letters in her hands.

She turned her back to him and walked to the end of the window beside the fireplace. Standing there, she put on the gloves and pulled out the most recently dated letter first.

Dear Mom,

This is the letter we talked about before. If you receive this letter, it means that the worst has happened. I know that’s going to be a shock to you, but remember, I knew this could happen from the beginning. The important thing is for you to give the key I sent you to the Los Angeles Police Department. Then you must find someone to go to Mirador to bring my son home. Please take care of him for me or find someone who can.

Jillian’s world started to spin. She reached out to clutch the window ledge and felt a pair of strong hands on her shoulders, supporting her from behind. Adam led her back to the couch.

“You okay?” From the look on Jillian’s face, Adam knew she wasn’t. Who could be okay after seeing in his own handwriting evidence of her husband’s duplicity? He’d deceived her for years. The sleazebag had been alive all along, and now, presuming the note wasn’t a fake or something meant to lead the law off track, he was dead.

It made Adam’s job easier in a sense, but gave him little satisfaction. Nothing in his life had been more difficult than seeing the despair in Jillian’s eyes. She’d lost her husband, the man she loved, not once, but twice.

He realized then that her happiness meant more to him than any score he’d wanted to settle. If he could’ve changed her husband into a hero, he would have—just to see her happy.

But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t even soften the blow. The guy was a rat who’d sell his family for a buck. And Jillian was still in love with him.

He crouched down beside her and eased the packet from her fingers. “I don’t think you need to read all these right now.”

“Adam…he was alive all along,” she said incredulously. “He was alive and his mother knew it. I can’t believe it. That’s…it’s…it’s inconceivable that he could simply drop out of our lives as if we meant nothing to him.”

She looked up at Adam. “You knew, didn’t you?”

He shook his head. “I suspected, but I didn’t know for sure and I still don’t.” God, he hated saying that.

He hoped to hell she wasn’t going to cling to the hope that her husband was still a good guy, because if Jack Sullivan wasn’t dead— He stopped the thought in motion … because if Sullivan  wasn’t fucking dead, he’d want to make him that way so he couldn’t hurt Jillian or her daughter ever again.

“Like I said,” he went on, “I need to have the evidence checked out, because all this—” he gestured at the envelopes in his hand “—could be a ruse to throw off law enforcement officers. Make us think he’s dead. I’d like to take the letters with me, have the DNA done and go from there. That okay with you?”

She nodded. “Well, at least one of us got what we were looking for.”

He felt the bite of her words. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I wish it hadn’t been me.”

“Why? You wanted your proof and you got it. Everything else was just part of the job.” She shook her head. “God, I can’t believe I was so stupid. First with Rob and then…” She ran a hand through her hair and flipped it back over her shoulder and away from her face. She turned away as if she couldn’t even look at him anymore.

“Then what?” But he knew what she meant. She meant that making love with him had been stupid, a mistake. Maybe so. It had been a mistake for him, that was for sure.

Because if he hadn’t, he might not be in love with a woman who was still in love with a dead man. Or if Sullivan wasn’t dead, he might as well be because he was going to spend the rest of his life in jail.

But none of that made Adam feel any better. And it served him right for getting emotionally involved while on the job in the first place.

“Nothing,” she said, her words laced with bitterness. “Take the damn letters. I don’t want to see them again.”

He bowed his head, wishing he could do or say something to make her feel better. Hurt less. But nothing came to him.

When he didn’t respond, she waved him off. “Just go.”

“I’ll go. But not before I talk to Harriet again and find out about that key. Will you come with me?”

Jillian raised her gaze to his; the hurt in her eyes was almost palpable. “I took her to the bank just a few weeks ago so she could put some things in her box. That’s when she must’ve put the last letter in. Maybe the key is there, too?”

Adam shook his head. The key hadn’t been in the box. He reached out to take Jillian into his arms to comfort her. She stiffened, pulled away and shot to her feet. He got up, too, and for a moment, they just stood there, face-to-face.

Then she said, her voice unnaturally calm, “I know you have a job to do, Adam. I know it’s important to you. My problems are my own and I need to deal with them. So you’re right, let’s find out about the key, then you can finish up whatever it is you have to do.”

“And what about you? What will you do?”

She shrugged. “Life goes on. I have a job and two children to raise. If—” her voice cracked “—if something else comes up with all this, I’ll deal with it when I need to. You’ve got my signature on your papers, and all I ask is that you, or someone, let me know the outcome of the DNA testing.”

He nodded. “Of course. I promise. Now, let’s go find out about that key.”