Last Rite (6 page)

“Tay!” she gasps, but doesn’t wake.

I breathe against the crushing pressure in my chest. She’ll be forever haunted by what happened to her best friend.

And I’ll be forever haunted by the fact that it never would have happened—none of it—if I hadn’t found her.

She was Shielded by Gabriel. No other demon had been able to locate her.

But I did. It wasn’t even hard.

Gabriel says we’re connected. He doesn’t understand how, but he says our connection is strong.

And I know he’s right. Everything I am is tied to her.

She tosses again and I lay my hand on her shoulder. But as much as I want to take all her pain away, I can’t do for her what Gabriel does. Her face pinches and she groans. I lean in to kiss her forehead, then stand.

I have to get out of here before I do something I’ll regret. Because what I want more than anything is to curl myself around her, feel her close.

The memories flood my senses—Frannie under me, over me. The scent of currant and clove surrounding me.

I back away from her, my heart dying a little more with every step. I back through the door and close it. I lean my forehead into the door and try to hold it together. When I feel like I can breathe again, I lift my head from the door and turn for my room.

And find Gabriel standing in the front door, staring.

FRANNIE

I toss and turn in the sticky sheets, trying to let the rhythm of the rolling waves outside my window calm me. I see things in the shadows dancing over my ceiling. Taylor. Angelique. And blood.

Always blood.

It’s nearly impossible to turn my revving mind off. No matter where I shift my thoughts, they always come back to that night—Taylor shoving the knife into her own stomach.

Taylor dying in my arms.

“Sheep,” I whisper to myself. I close my eyes and picture puffy white sheep in a field. I start counting, focusing on their fluffy white wool, the grass, the sky. I’m up to 274 when I notice that the sheep is bleeding. I look around.

All
the sheep are bleeding.

Blood is pouring from their bellies onto the ground. And Taylor is standing in the middle of the field with a knife in her stomach, adding her own blood to the growing river.

I sit up with a gasp, realizing I’d drifted off. The room comes into slow focus, and, in the moonlight I can just make out a face, drifting in the darkness.

Matt
.

My heart screeches to a stop and I gasp again, choking on it. I stare harder at the spot, struggling for air. The silver light flickers off the ocean and wavers across my wall, and, where I was sure Matt was standing a second ago, all I see now is the face of a white clock telling me it’s two in the morning.

I’m going crazy.

I swallow hard against the acid rising in my throat. On the night table next to my bed are a pill bottle and glass of water. Part of those “provisions” in the Jeep was a bottle of Unisom.

Gabe knows better than anyone that I haven’t really slept since Taylor, ’cause he’s the one who’s been there every night when I wake up screaming. Tonight is the first night that he hasn’t stayed with me in weeks. I pick up the bottle and spin it in trembling fingers. I open it and shake one out, then swallow it before I have time to think better of it.

I push the tangled sheets aside and sit on the edge of the bed. The feel of the cool hardwood floor helps to ground me, and my shaking slows a little. My gaze gravitates to the door, knowing who’s on the other side of it. I find myself on my feet and walking toward it without even realizing it. But, just as my fingers brush the doorknob, I stop. I can’t keep relying on Gabe. I have to figure this out on my own.

Forcing myself away from the door, I turn to my open window and lean my palms against the sill. The sound of the breaking waves is soothing, and my heart starts to slow to a normal pace. I sit on the sill and lean back on the frame. For a long time, I focus on breathing in the fresh air, clearing out the darkness inside me. Closing my eyes, I sync my breathing with the rolling surf.

When I finally feel calmer, I glance over my shoulder at the door, then slip my legs over the sill and drop into the soft sand under my window. It feels warm as I curl my toes into it, and I feel lighter just being outside the house—my prison. I wander to the water and the surf laps lazily at my ankles. I look up and down the beach and find I’m totally alone. It’s a deep crimson sunrise and the air is heavy with the scents of the ocean—that combination of salt, fish, and something sweet but rank. I walk deeper into the warm water and it’s soothing, washing away all my pain, fear, guilt.

I let the waves lift me and I float on my back, staring up at the swirling scarlets and grays of the oncoming day. The swell of the waves lifts and lowers me gently, cradling and rocking me like a baby. I close my eyes and drift, finally at peace.

But, slowly, I realize that the salty smell has taken on a metallic tinge, coppery and sharp. When another swell lifts me and I move my arms to steady myself, the water feels thick. I open my eyes and look up at the bloodred sky. Panic tickles at my insides when I try to stand and I find I’ve drifted so far out that I can’t touch the bottom.

I tread water and look wildly for the shore, but it’s nowhere. I’m surrounded by nothing but red ocean and red sky, blending together and making it impossible to find the horizon. Panic kicks harder in my chest as I become disoriented. A wave of dizziness sweeps over me, threatening to take me under, and I gasp for breath. My limbs begin to feel heavy and tired. I know I can’t stay afloat much longer, but I don’t know which way to swim. What if I choose wrong?

Something bumps into me from behind, startling me, and I spin in the water.

A scream freezes in my throat. For an endless second, all I can do is stare in horror.

Taylor is floating in the bloody waves, a fountain of red pouring from a gash in her stomach. Her breath comes in sputtering rasps, and more blood flows from her mouth with each gasp.

“Oh God.” I grab her arm and pull her to me, trying to keep her above the waves. And that’s when I realize that the water isn’t just tinged with blood. It
is
blood—thick, sticky, and coppery. Taylor and I are floating in an ocean of blood. Taylor’s blood. Taylor’s blood is on my hands, and there’s no way I can save her.

I open my mouth to scream, but before I can, something pulls me down. Under the bloody waves, all I can hear is the hammer of my wild pulse in my ears. A dark shape takes form in my consciousness—red eyes in a black face. I fight against it—fight for Taylor. But when I taste salt in my mouth, I know this is what I deserve. I’m drowning in Taylor’s blood.

I give in and let the thick liquid seep down my throat. But just before I black out, whatever was holding me is suddenly gone and I’m rocketing toward the surface. I feel Gabe’s peace and love, his summer snow.

Then … there’s nothing.

4

Morning Star

FRANNIE

My eyes open to pitch black.

Absolute darkness.

A tiny point of white light forms above me, and I focus on it as I cough and struggle to breath. It grows increasingly larger and brighter.

A star
.

One singular star in the black velvet sky.

As it illuminates my surroundings, I realize I’m still on the beach. I feel the powdery sand sift between my toes as I jerk and cough, smell the briny air. Then I’m drowning again, but this time in Gabe’s peace. He holds me and rocks me, humming a soft melody under his breath. It’s a tune I know, but I can’t place it. As his summer snow washes over me, my jagged nerves start to soften. His gentle hand smooths over my cheek and runs through my hair. I lift my head to look at him—and cough violently when my body attempts to gasp.

Because it’s not Gabe.

The boy holding me is gazing up at the brightening star. When he turns his face to look at me, the light of the star is shining in his astonishing green eyes, and I realize he
is
the star.

Ethereal. Like a whisper.

The soft white light is coming from him. I feel myself instantly relax as a smile spreads across his beautiful face.

Just as I’m about to ask him who he is, he sweeps a finger lightly across my forehead and everything inside me explodes in a burst of pure white energy.

*   *   *

I wake with a choked gasp, as if I’d been drowning, and roll onto my side, sure I’m gonna be sick. The nausea passes slowly, and I lay back on the bed, staring at the eerie moonlit shadows dancing across my ceiling. I listen through my gasping breath and hammering heart for anyone moving in the cottage. Everything is still and silent except for the waves breaking on the sand outside my open window. I lay motionless and listen until my breathing and pulse slow.

As the pound of blood hammering through my ears fades, a haunting melody swirls through my thoughts, comforting.

Something from my dream?

Maybe. But it feels deeper. Older. Rooted in my subconscious somehow. I can’t really remember the dream, except for Taylor. I remember she was in the waves. And then there was.… A face tickles the edges of the memory, and I remember I felt safe. And the song. But that’s all.

I close my eyes again, but acid rises in my throat as I see Taylor, floating dead on a sea of blood. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling … and see Taylor.

I glance to the night table, where the open bottle of Unisom sits. It did exactly what I knew it would. Trapped me in a never-ending nightmare. I pick it up and throw it in the trash before getting up and walking to my door, knowing there’s only one thing that can truly calm me. Just being around him always does. I promised him I’d try not to
want
him.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t times that I
need
him.

I shrug my green terry robe over my baggy T-shirt and underwear and pull the door open with a trembling hand.

Gabe is slouched into the couch cushions, one leg hanging over the arm, with an open copy of
The Great Gatsby
in one hand and a pair of glasses perched on his nose.

Despite my heavy heart, I crack a smile. I can’t help it. “Glasses? You’re joking, right?”

He straightens up, pulls the glasses off, and quirks half a smile. “You’re surprised?”

“It’s just so unexpected—” I wave my hand in a circle at him “—a flaw in all that perfection.”

His smile widens. “I’m not as young as I used to be.”

He straightens up and I slide into the couch next to him and pull the book from his hands, glancing at the page he’s on. “Poor, tragic Gatsby. Deception, forbidden love, and ruined lives. Sound familiar?”

He sighs and loops his arm around my shoulders, nestling his face into my hair.

“I was hoping I could make it the whole night without you,” I say, burrowing into his side.

A purr rumbles up from his chest as he pulls me close and kisses my forehead. “I told you I’d always be here for you, and I meant it. Whatever you need.”

I press into him, feeling calmer already. “Is this okay?”

“My self-control is never what it should be when I’m with you.” I feel his lips curve into a smile against my forehead. “Are you sure you trust me?”

I settle into him, knowing it’s really me he should be concerned with trusting.

“I think we should have left Luc in Haden,” I blurt, not really sure where it came from.

“Why?”

I hesitate, not sure how to answer. “He’s mortal. If they come after me…”

“He knows the risks, Frannie,” he says, his voice hard.

I pull away and look up at him. I want to tell him about my vision as we were racing away from Haden—that I know I’m gonna die. Soon. I want to tell him it’s okay as long as everyone else is safe. But all that comes out when I open my mouth is, “I don’t want him here.”

There’s sadness in his gaze. “Whether you—or I, for that matter—like it or not, you and Luc are connected. He can’t leave you without putting you in danger. I’m not going to let that happen.”

“What if they find us here?” I ask.

“We’ll go someplace else.”

The tune from my dream floats through my consciousness, and I have a sudden flashing memory of a beautiful face with green eyes. “Do you think Heaven might have sent another guardian angel?” I breathe against my closing throat at the thought of Matt.

He pulls back and an amused smile plays at his full lips. “Why? Are you requesting a replacement?”

“No.” I smile and lean into him, twisting my finger into his platinum waves. “I’ve got the boss. Who could be better?” One last nagging thought pushes its way through his summer snow. “You’ll look after everyone, right? Riley? My sisters?”

“Of course.”

“I can’t let anything happen to anyone else ’cause of me.”

“I’ll do my best, Frannie, but right now my focus is you. We need to keep you out of Hell’s reach until you’re ready. I was wrong to think they’d give up after you were tagged for Heaven. Lucifer isn’t going to give up—ever.”

“Until I’m ready?”

I feel him stiffen under me. “We won’t be able to run forever…”

“So I’ll have to fight eventually,” I finish.

“Eventually,” he sighs.

I start shaking again, thinking of King Lucifer, of how I was when He was near—how completely I lost myself and how much I lusted for Him. I’m no match for Him.

And He has Matt and Taylor.

I start to shake harder. “What if I can’t? What if my Sway is really nothing?”

Gabe’s hand strokes my hair. “It’s not nothing. You’ll learn how to use it. That’s why I’m here, Frannie. To help you.” His soft lips move against my forehead as he speaks, his warm breath tickling my skin, and I fight the urge to climb right into him—to live in his peace, where it’s safe.

Instead, I stand and pad toward the bathroom, feeling more than a little sick. I sit on the toilet for a few minutes, my fingers woven into my wild hair, and wait for my stomach to settle.