Last Run (32 page)

The word and its implications and, even more, Lucia’s unnatural calmness, the total absence of any pretence or denial, jarred Grace’s own composure, fragile as it was.

‘I know that Kez did terrible things,’ Lucia continued. ‘But I always felt that she was wounded, too.’ She paused. ‘Is your tea all right, Grace?’

‘It’s fine.’ Grace drank some, hardly aware of its taste, just sipping it to be polite, the way she often did. ‘Thank you.’

‘I said Tina was my fantasy niece and that’s true, because of course she never existed. Yet there was a kind of crossover between Tina and Kez, with them “sharing” that
Naples apartment, and of course I loved them both.’ She sipped her own tea. ‘I did love Kez, with all my heart, but I knew she was a bad person.’

‘From what little Cathy’s told me,’ Grace said gently, ‘she was unwell.’

‘No doubt about it,’ Lucia said. ‘She had this sickness – I looked it up in your books, read all about a disorder – body dysmorphic disorder – that seemed to
describe her problems.’ She sighed. ‘She thought she was ugly, you know.’

‘I wish you’d talked to me about it,’ Grace said. ‘If Kez did suffer from that, it’s a very cruel syndrome. Some people suffer from it in relation to specific parts
of their body – often the face, sometimes the whole body.’

‘Not too many go around killing people because of it, though, do they?’

Grace said nothing.

‘Silence,’ Lucia said. ‘Standard psychologist’s reaction.’ Her smile was very wry. ‘This must be hard for you. You’re being very kind,
considering.’

‘You’re my friend,’ Grace said.

‘Kez did a terrible thing to Saul,’ Lucia said.

‘But
she
did it, not you. And as we’ve already agreed, Kez was very sick.’

‘I’ll bet your husband doesn’t feel like that,’ Lucia said.

‘Perhaps not yet,’ Grace said.

‘Perhaps not ever,’ Lucia said.

One of the parts of the process Sam knew he was going to have to go through was seeing a shrink – and not his wife.

He had killed a woman. Whether or not it was finally decreed just or wrongful, he had still caused Kez Flanagan’s death. Cops in such situations, whether they readily admitted distress or
not, were, for the most part, well looked after. They would be seen by the appropriate physicians or psychologists, partly for their own good, partly for the purposes of reports that would either
sit on their files or, on occasions, be used in a court of law.

Sam supposed that a shrink was probably a good idea. He could not imagine returning to work without resolving at least some of his self-doubt. Was not certain, any longer, about his fitness for
his job.

A man trusted with a firearm had no business acting as he had. No real doubt in his mind about that, even if he had done it because he had believed Cathy in grievous danger. Especially since he
thought that, given the identical set of circumstances, he would probably do the same again.

But if that made him unfit to be a policeman, was he any more fit to be a husband and father? Was a man who’d done what he had, but who felt no real shame, entitled to bring new life into
the world?

The prospect of going home – when they let him – unnerved him because going home would mean spending
real
time with Cathy. Not just snatched moments; swift supportive
exchanges in the presence of, or hiding out from, other police officers and attorneys and counsellors.

All too soon there would be no one left to suppress the hate that had to be living,
had
to be, quiet but primed in Cathy’s heart. Because no matter what she had said so far, Sam had
wiped out her lover.

Far worse than that, he suspected, her
love.

And how could she truly forgive him for that?

‘The day it really began,’ Lucia said, ‘was the day her father died.’

Up until then, she said, no one – just the cat – had lost their life. There had been fights, Kez had got into some trouble because of her temper, but no one had been badly hurt. No
one had been
killed.

‘Until Kez walked in on Joey while he was making love to Lindy Jerszinsky – his and Gina’s next-door-neighbour – and Lindy laughed at her – sneered at her, Kez told
me. And Kez always had this problem with being laughed at, you see.’

‘Yes,’ Grace said. ‘Cathy told me that much.’

‘Did she tell you what Kez did to Lindy?’ Lucia shook her head. ‘I didn’t think so.’ She was silent for a moment, and very still. ‘She took a pair of scissors
from her mother’s dressing table and she stuck them in that woman’s mouth, all the way in.’

Grace felt sick.

‘I’m sorry,’ Lucia said. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t. . .’

‘No,’ Grace said. ‘You need to talk.’

‘Maybe I do,’ Lucia said. ‘And then Joey had a heart attack and died, and Kez went to the phone and called her Aunt Lucia.’

‘Not her uncle?’ Grace asked.

‘Kez never confided in Phil, always in me. She always seemed to know I was the one who would help her.’ Lucia shook her head. ‘I knew what a huge decision I was making. I know
now that it was the wrong decision, but back then, with this poor little girl crazy and covered in blood it seemed like the only thing to do.’

Grace waited a moment. ‘And now, all these years later, what do you think you should have done differently?’

‘I don’t honestly know,’ Lucia said wearily. ‘If I’d known someone like you, told them, they’d have had to call the cops – same thing if I had called Dr
Becket – and that would have been the end for Kez.’

‘Not necessarily,’ Grace said.

‘You think?’ Lucia was ironic.

‘What about Gina?’

‘She’d have had hysterics, thought of herself, not Kez. Whereas I’d already betrayed my own daughter by letting her die – I knew I could never let down another child
depending on me.’

‘I can understand that,’ Grace said.

‘Can you?’

‘Of course.’ Grace felt intrigued, despite herself. ‘So what did you do, Lucia?’

‘I called Phil. He’d once done time for fraud, you know. He’d been squeaky clean ever since, but he still
knew
people back then, and he knew how important Kez was to me,
so he kept Gina out of the way and paid to have the whole scene taken care of – I don’t know how, never wanted to either.’

The intrigue was all gone now. Grace felt chilled to the bone.

‘But Phil told me after that if Kez ever did anything bad again, anything at all, it would be down to her and her mother, nothing to do with us.’

‘And Gina never found out?’

‘Only about Joey’s heart attack,’ Lucia said. ‘Lindy Jerszinsky had “gone away unexpectedly”, or whatever Phil’s pals had arranged. I don’t think
Gina ever had an inkling of what was happening inside her daughter’s head. And as Kez grew up and went on having her . . .
episodes  . . .
she knew better than to tell her mother,
and it was always her Aunt Lucia she turned to instead.’

‘But Phil had said never again.’ Grace paused. ‘So what did he say the next time Kez came to you for help?’

‘He died,’ Lucia said.

Chapter Thirty-two

Terri was back in Miami, exhausted and drained, but needing, more than anything, to see Saul before she could think of going home to rest.

His expression when he saw her walk through the door was enough to heat her right through, enough to lighten her load, ease her fatigue and make her certain – if there had been any real
question – that she had done the right thing by helping Cathy and avenging him.

‘Hi, baby,’ she said, light and bright as if she’d come from a shopping trip, bypassing his dad, going straight to the bed, gladder than she’d ever been in her life to
see anyone. No doubts left about how much she loved him, she knew that now, though she was not certain that Saul, when he could speak again, would agree with her actions.

Not an eye-for-an-eye type of guy, her Saul, nor likely to appreciate her having put herself in danger, especially not for his sake. Maybe for Cathy’s sake, he might go for that – or
maybe he might just understand how it had been for her, simply because he loved her. That much, anyway, was clear in his eyes.

The rest of them, his family and Internal Affairs – anyone else who didn’t approve of or understand what she had done – could all go hang.

Lucia had made more tea and invited Grace out on to her deck, and now they were sitting on neat white chairs near the glasshouse, not far from where the sleek speedboat was
moored.

Its name, Grace now saw, neatly lettered, was
Christina.

‘It’s a relief,’ Lucia said, ‘to talk.’

‘Talk as much,’ Grace said, ‘or as little as you want to.’

‘I’ve learned over the years that people can’t, for the most part, be trusted. Kez knew, instinctively, early on, that she couldn’t trust her own mother.’ Lucia
paused. ‘I learned that I couldn’t trust my husband.’

‘But Phil did so much to help Kez,’ Grace said.

‘Only the first time. The next time he refused.’

She could have coped with that on its own, Lucia told Grace. She
did
cope, felt that she had no choice but to help Kez by herself, though it cost her, physically and emotionally as well
as financially – not that the money bothered her; she’d have found that, somehow, even if she hadn’t had enough to manage.

‘But Phil wouldn’t leave it at that,’ she went on. ‘He said we had to go to the police, turn Kez in. He said it was his decision to make, after all, because she was his
niece, his sister’s kid,
his
family.’

A breeze sprang up, enough to ruffle their hair and stir the palms and ripple the water, gently rocking the
Christina.

‘I couldn’t let that happen,’ Lucia said.

Grace sat motionless. She had believed in coming here that the very worst thing she might discover was that Lucia had aided and abetted her niece by shielding her in some way.

Worse was on the way, she realized now,
much
worse.

‘I couldn’t betray Kez,’ Lucia went on. ‘Partly for her, but also – ’ she gave a wry shrug – ‘believe me, I know how irrational this sounds, but
partly because I remember feeling as if Christina wanted me to help her cousin.’

Grace said nothing.

‘So that was that,’ Lucia said. ‘I knew what had to happen. It was only a question of how.’

‘You look so tired,’ Terri told David after they’d both been shooed out while Saul was given a sponge bath. ‘Why don’t you take advantage of my
being here and go home, rest a while?’

‘Excuse me,’ David said, ‘but it isn’t me who’s just been through that whole ordeal and then driven from Naples.’ He smiled. ‘This is just sitting for
me, sitting with my son, and frankly I’m thankful I can still do that.’

‘Same goes for me,’ Terri said.

‘I well believe it. But truthfully, the way you look right now, if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re going to be much better company for Saul once you’ve had some
sleep.’ David smiled again. ‘He’s had the greatest present already, he’s seen for himself that you’re safe, and he’s the last person who would want you to make
yourself sick, now of all times.’

For once, Terri believed that one of Saul’s relatives actually meant what he was saying; so for once she didn’t feel the need to dig her heels in.

‘OK,’ she said. ‘You win.’

‘My relationship with Kez was never the same again,’ Lucia said. ‘Part of me hated her after that, for making me do such a terrible thing to Phil.’

More than anything now, Grace wanted to leave, to stop listening, just get out and go home to sanity. Yet at the same time she knew she
had
to ask.

‘What was it you did to him?’

‘It was all very simple,’ Lucia answered. ‘Strange, in a way, because I started out trying to work out far more complicated ways, using my herbs and plants – quite a few
of them are poisonous, you know.’

Grace wished fervently that she hadn’t asked.

‘I was just about to settle on beautiful foxglove when I realized how foolish that would be, because Phil was already taking digitalis for his heart condition, which meant all that was
needed was an overdose.’

Hearing it, Grace thought, but not believing it.

‘His own
mistake
,’ Lucia went on, ‘made while he was out here – ’ she gestured at the charming setting around them –  ‘without a phone, his
wife out shopping. Which meant poor Phil was all alone, no one here to give him the atropine that would have stabilized him.’

Not
wanting
to believe it.

‘And by the time I did get home,’ Lucia said, ‘it was too late.’

Terri had not gone directly home as she’d told David she would.

There was something she wanted to check out before she could rest.

Matilda Street.

There were a couple of Miami Beach PD cars and one from Collier County parked outside the white clapboard house she knew Flanagan had lived in.

That was fine, that was good, meant the job was being done.

Then, abruptly, one more thing – she wanted to see Grace.

Wanted to see her reaction when faced with her own prime suspect. Not really expecting or even needing an apology, just wanting to get it over with so they could move on.

But there was no one home, just Woody barking inside.

Finally, ready to admit total exhaustion, Terri turned around and drove home.

‘Kez felt it, too,’ Lucia said. ‘The awful strain that doing something so dreadful to Phil had placed on me and on our relationship. She became much more
remote after that, confided in me less often.’

‘Did that make it harder?’ Grace asked. ‘Or easier in some ways?’

She was shell-shocked by the discovery that the woman she’d worked with for two years was herself a killer. Finding it hard to speak, but with a developing awareness that she needed to get
into this dialogue, keep her wits about her.

‘Nothing made it easier,’ Lucia said.

‘No,’ Grace said. ‘Of course not.’

‘I think Kez felt I was deeply ashamed of her, which was true.’ Lucia paused. ‘I think that from that time on, she both loved and hated me. Loved me for having helped her till
then. Hated me for knowing her so well.’