Lasting Attraction (Cassie Series) (6 page)

             
I wake up just after four in the afternoon. I stare at the blinking red dots between the four and the zero on the alarm clock while I think about my life. All the shit I've been through. All the shit I've done. When I came to college, I came to get good grades, a great degree, go to some parties, make friends, and yes, to sleep around a little. I never wanted to fall in love. And I sure as hell never wanted to get knocked up.

             
The fact that Avery settled me down earlier meant to world to me but it also broke my heart. No, it shattered my heart. I've been in pure panic mode all day. I still am, but I have to admit, with his arm wrapped around my waist and the comfort he was giving me earlier is what is keeping me still.

             
I've been wanting to tell Pierce. I've been wanting to tell someone, anyone, but I haven't. I've been too scared. I haven't wanted to face my crazy reality. I didn't want to face the fact that I've done more than messed up- I've altered my entire life. Pierce's life. Avery's life. A child's life. A child I have yet to meet, yet a child I already love. A child I've created out of jealously, rage, and lust.

             
Avery stirs behind me and I quickly close my eyes. I don't want to move, not yet. I don't want this to be over yet. His friendship, his sorrow, his regret, his love. It can't disappear, not right now. Five more minutes, it's all I ask. Its more than I deserve, so I'm taking it. I've learned long ago I'm a very selfish person.

             
I feel Avery's lips upon my shoulder, lightly brushing kisses down my skin, heating it under his touch. Its already consuming me and he has barely used any pressure. The hand that was resting on my hard stomach starts to move down, lower and lower, until its at my waist band.

             
"Avery," I mumble and he pauses. "I want to, I do, but I can't." He doesn't listen as he dips two fingers under the fabric and brushes along my warmed skin. "Avery, I really can't."

             
My thighs squeeze together, both to keep him away and to try to take away from the need I feel between my legs. He doesn't dip any lower, he just keeps his fingers brushing along the skin inside the band, directly above my panty line. "Cassie," he whispers in my ear.

             
"Mm," is all I can manage to say.

             
He licks the skin behind my ear, causing the hair on my arm to stand straight up. "Just pretend to be asleep."

             
My eyes flash open and I tilt my head so I can see him out of the corner of my eye. "Excuse me?" I ask.

             
He gives me a shy smile, his eyes sparkling in mischief. "Just pretend to be asleep. Trust me."

             
I swallow hard and nod my head slowly, closing my eyes while resting my head back on the pillow, away from him. His hand dips lower, going under the fabric of my panties, until he is met with the moisture that claims my need for him. Adding a little pressure, he starts rubbing circles directly on my clit, dipping his fingers inside my sex for only a moment to get his fingers wet once more. He continues the motion back and forth, until I can feel tingles start at my feet and grow up my legs, meeting in the middle.

             
My lip quivers as my body is just seconds away from releasing the built up pleasure but then he stops. I practically growl at him and he chuckles behind me. "You're not sleeping if you’re grinding your hips to meet my fingers or making noises like that. Keep still and let me continue."

             
I bite down on my lip to stop myself from saying anything or moaning. The bed dips behind me and before I know it, I'm being rolled onto my back and my pants and underwear are being stripped off from me. "Avery," I say to stop him but he puts a finger over my lip. I can both smell and taste my arousal on his finger and for some odd reason, I'm turned on even more.

             
His hands spread me apart and his tongue flickers out, licking the slit at my heat, adding pressure directly on my clit. Shit, this isn't supposed to be happening, but damn if I'm stopping him now. I'm only seconds away from getting off. The second Avery adds two fingers inside me, my world crumbles apart and I scream out in pure ecstasy.

             
Avery doesn't stop until my body can't handle any more thrashing around. He looks up at me from between my legs, grinning wide. "God, you're so beautiful when you come."

             
I try my best to glare at him but I can't help grinning back.
Shit, I'm messing up again!

             
His mouth starts kissing from my mound all the way up until it reaches my navel. His hands rub either side of my almost rounded belly and he just stares down. I'm in awe but I'm also heartbroken, because I can see the disappointment on his face. "You're still so tiny," he whispers.

             
"I've been really sick, I lost over fifteen pounds."

             
He looks up at me like he could hurt someone. "Why?"

             
I smile and run one of my hands down the side of his face. "Morning sickness. Sickness over the smell of cinnamon, or over the smell of seafood, or the taste of bagels and cheese and tomatoes."

             
"Your favorites." He lifts an eyebrow.

             
I pout out my lip. "I know. I think its my punishment."

             
"Punishment?" He kisses my belly before sitting back up and pulling me to sit with him, wrapping his arms around me.

             
I rest my head against his shoulder and close my eyes, pretending like this is okay. Like we belong like this. Like I didn't ever betray him, or he never hurt me. Like we're meant to be together, forever. Something that will never happen, all because I've been so reckless. "Yeah. For being so careless about so much. For ruining not just my life, but the lives of the two men I love."

             
His swallow is audible but nothing else is said. He just holds me as I keep my eyes closed, focusing intently on his embrace. My phone vibrating several minutes later starts me from me the moment and I'm forced to face reality once again, especially when I see Pierce's name show up on the screen.

             
"Shit," I say out loud before answering the call. I give Avery a very stern look, daring him to open his mouth right now. "Hello."

             
"Hey baby girl, I was wondering if you wanted to do dinner tonight. I had some news I wanted to share with you."

             
Yeah, I need to share news with you, too
, I think but don't say out loud. "Sure," is my response instead. "Where do you want to meet?"

             
"How about right at your place."

             
I bite down on my lip and stare at Avery sitting next to me, keeping quiet. Guilt burns deep inside of me, and I know I need to just be honest with everyone, myself included. It's time to tell the truth about my situation, my feelings, everything. "What time will you be here?"

             
Avery looks away from me and starts to climb off the bed, while Pierce answers me over the phone. "In about an hour."

             
"I'll see you then."

             
I hang up the phone and walk out of Avery's room, after him. "Can we talk a second?" I ask him as he starts to slide sneakers onto his feet.

             
With a pause from what he is doing, he looks up to me. "Sure, but I got places to be, so you need to hurry."

             
"Avery, stop this, right now! Let me explain. Tonight I need to tell Pierce. I need to get this shit figured out, and now. I don't regret what just happened between you and I, and I'm glad you're home. I can't wait to spend more time with you while you're back. And while you're back, I want you and me to have a long conversation about everything. About you and Katie, about you and I, about Pierce and I, the pregnancy, everything. We need to. If you walk away from me one more time and there are any secrets between us, I'm pretty sure it'll ruin us for good. I can't handle that."

             
Surprisingly my emotions stay intact the whole time I say what needs to be said, but Avery stands up and grabs his wallet off the table, sliding it into his pocket. "Cool." Yeah, that is all I get out of all that. So when the door closes behind him, tears fall down my face, and I'm left feeling lonely all over again.

             
The day after Avery arrives back in town, she suddenly has to fucking speak to me. I shouldn't automatically assume the worse, but honestly, how can I not? It isn't so much that she has to talk with me either, its the tone of voice she used. Her fake happy tone. I've known her too long and know her too well.

             
His motorcycle isn't in the parking lot when I arrive, but it was when I went by on my lunch break. Yeah, I'm that guy. I almost pulled into the parking lot and
surprised
Cassie for lunch, but when I realized I've never done that before and I didn't even have food with me, I knew it was a dumb idea. I need to trust her. I have to.

             
The door opens before I even knock and Cassie throws herself at me. I can already tell that prick did something to piss her off. Even though she has a smile on her face, her body is trembling. I pull back and place my hands on her cheeks, planting my lips onto hers for a quick moment. "Cassie, what is wrong? What the fuck did he do?"

             
She gives a look of confusion, but again, I know her too damn well. She is trying to play things off.

             
Changing the subject, she asks, "Did you have a good day at work?" Then she moves away so I can enter her apartment, which smells like cologne- and not mine- then she closes the door.

             
I hate having this damn uneasy feeling. Playing into things slowly, unsure of where they're about to go, I just answer her. "Yeah, how was your day?"
              Without so much as a flinch, she smiles and tells me it was great. Not wanting to any more thought into it, I walk towards the living room and she follows. I sit on the couch and as Cassie attempt to sit next to me, I pull her to me and bring her lips down so they touch my own. They taste somewhere between mint, cherry, and Cassie. She sits on my lap and a small giggle escapes her mouth. "Someone is being greedy."

             
"I just miss you."

             
"Oh, I’m sure you do."

             
Yeah, she knows me too well also.

             
I rub my hand up and down her thigh and give it a squeeze before telling her my exciting news. "I met with this girl, Miah Braxton, today. She helps run Mumford and Braxton Corporation. She wants to merge our companies together, so we went over some financial paperwork today as well as her marketing agenda. Everything she showed me made sense for our companies to merge, so I spoke with my dad and Evan. We're setting up a meeting with them, but since their company is based in Seattle, I'm going to have to travel there next Monday until Thursday."

             
I get anxious all of a sudden. It hit me like a ton of bricks the one fucking week that Avery is in town happens to be the same damn week I'm going out of town. Things couldn't get any worse!

             
Cassie seems to get the same understanding and cocks her head to the side while thinking about something for a moment. "I'm pregnant."

             
"I know babe, this is going... you're... you're what?" What. The. Fuck.

             
I can feel as the color drains in my face and I'm sure my expression is something close to Cassie's.

             
Our eyes stay glued to each other’s and I'm not sure how much time passes before she whispers it again. "I'm pregnant, Pierce."

             
"I'm... it's... you're... shit, you're pregnant?" Apparently I can't fucking speak coherently.