Latter Rain (19 page)
Authors: Vanessa Miller
37
The door opening at Nina's house felt good. Felt like coming home. She stood there looking at him as he and Donavan walked in.
It's me, baby. The one you were born to love
, Isaac wanted to say, but he chose the safer route. “Thanks for letting us come back.”
It's me, baby. The one you were born to love
, Isaac wanted to say, but he chose the safer route. “Thanks for letting us come back.”
Nina hugged Donavan. “Hey, boy. I missed you.”
“We were only gone two days,” he told her, then smiled. “I missed you too.”
“You better had.” She swiped him on the butt. “Go take a bath and get ready for bed.”
“Just what I was thinking.” Donavan saluted his parents. “Goodnight, folks.”
Nina turned to Isaac. “Are you ready to pray?”
“Oh, I almost forgot. I'll be right back,” Isaac said as he ran out of the house.
Nina stood at the door with her arms folded and her foot tap, tap, tapping. Her eyes and posture said it all. She was still upset with Isaac and his forgetting something outside didn't endear him to her at all.
However, when Isaac walked back in the door with the bouquet of lilies he'd left in the car and said, “I brought a peace offering,” Nina's face softened. “I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for all the drama I caused before Donavan and I left the other day.” He offered her the lilies. “I know they're your favorite.”
Nina unfolded her arms and took the lilies from Isaac. “Thanks, Isaac.” She headed toward the kitchen as she told him, “Go on into the living room, I'll get a vase and put my lilies in it and then we can pray.”
“All right,” Isaac said, adding, “Oh, and Nina.” Nina stopped and turned. “Thanks for letting me come back.”
Nina couldn't stay mad at Isaac. He was adorable when he was repentant. She smiled at him and truthfully said, “I'm glad you came back.”
Nina put her flowers in a vase and then she and Isaac knelt in the living room. Their hands joined as they united in prayer. Isaac began their petition. “Father, we come to you tonight, humbled by your greatness and your wisdom. For you, oh Lord, have the answer to all our situations. Your Word says that there are many plans in a man's heart, but the end thereof is destruction. I don't want to plot and plan my life to gain riches and destroy myself in the process. Help me make the right decision, Lord. Lead me and guide me into your perfect will.”
When Isaac finished, Nina took over. “Lord, we ask that you bring the people in Isaac's path that he needs to associate himself with. He loves you, Lord. I believe that with all my heart. Help him to walk upright before you in all his dealings. If taking this pastoral job is an opportunity from you, then I pray that you speak to him directly about it. Guide him, Father. For your way is the only way to eternal life. In Jesusname we pray and believe that we will know your perfect will in this situation.”
They stood and hugged as people normally do in church after someone prays for them. But this wasn't church, so they lingered just a bit longer in each other's arms.
Nina backed away first. “I'll see you in the morning. God will speak to your heart, Isaac. I'll keep praying. Okay?”
He reached out and grabbed her hand. He needed to hold onto her for a moment longer. “Thanks, Nina.”
Averting her eyes, she replied, “You're welcome. Good-night, I'm going to bed.”
After Nina went to her bedroom, Isaac climbed the stairs to his bedroom with the realization that although Nina was gone from his presence, she was not gone from his heart, his thoughts, or his longings. He'd die loving that woman.
As he got into bed, his body ached from all the traveling he'd done. Closing his eyes, Isaac prayed that God would show Himself. But, only he could pray for God and meet up with the devil. He was on another journey back to hell and was powerless to stop this descent.
Sweat trickled down Isaac's forehead. The heat was unbearable. Potholes of fire bubbled under his feet. The place was just as Isaac remembered. The air was gaseous, polluted, dry and tainted. Truth had once told him that it was the smell of death, decay and dying that greeted the inhabitants of hell. Isaac was alone this trip. Truth was nowhere in sight. But that wasn't really factual, because truth now resided within him. That fact alone energized Isaac.
“Might as well start walking.” Isaac was sure that he wasn't getting out of there, until he saw whatever he was supposed to see while down there. Scream after agonizing scream penetrated his soul and made him cover his ears and shrink back. Blood oozed down the walls of the tunnel of death. Isaac wanted to close his eyes so he wouldn't have to witness the pain and destruction, but there was no such thing as a closed eye in hell. It was as if his eyes were permanently glued open. The punishment for coming to hell, after having so many chances to accept God, was not only the personal pain inflicted upon a person, nor was watching as others being tortured the worst thing about this place. The worst thing about being an inhabitant of a place like hell was knowing that there is a place of peace that would forever be off limits.
Rejected and tormented souls were encased in the walls of the tunnel, anguishing their misery, as their silhouettes attempted to pierce through the muck and mire. Isaac desperately searched for an opening, but the tunnel was endless. With each turn, he was accosted by another tortured soul trying to pull its way out of the muck.
“Why didn't you tell us,” the silhouettes demanded of him over and over again.
“Tell you what? I don't even know you,” Isaac screamed at the voices.
“Why didn't you tell us about Jesus?”
Isaac turned and looked in the face of Ton-Ton, a street hustler he had worked with back in the day. Ton-Ton had been tough. He didn't take no mess. Isaac still remembered the Christmas massacre that earned Ton-Ton a ticket to death row.
He turned and gasped as another hustler, who'd died in the game, accused him of neglect.
“Why didn't you tell us about Jesus?” More silhouettes pulled through the muck and showed their faces.
“My God.” He remembered them all. Each one had died on the streets without knowing Jesus.
“Why didn't you tell us,” they chanted again and again.
“I didn't know about Him when I knew you guys. All of you died before I accepted the Lord,” Isaac told them.
Another face pulled through the muck. It was JC. Agony stretched across his face. “Why didn't you tell me? I looked up to you.”
Isaac recalled talking against JC to Donavan. “
That boy is a thug. He'll never amount to anything
.” He'd told his son to stop hanging around him. Never once had Isaac gone out of his way to tell JC about God and His redeeming power. He fell down on his knees in the midst of his accusers and cried out, “Oh, Lord, forgive me. I got comfortable preaching in churches. Delivering your Word to people who don't even want the truth, and I forgot about these people.”
That boy is a thug. He'll never amount to anything
.” He'd told his son to stop hanging around him. Never once had Isaac gone out of his way to tell JC about God and His redeeming power. He fell down on his knees in the midst of his accusers and cried out, “Oh, Lord, forgive me. I got comfortable preaching in churches. Delivering your Word to people who don't even want the truth, and I forgot about these people.”
When Isaac awoke, he was sprawled out on the floor. His threshing floor. His sorrow was evident through his tears. In travail, he lamented for the people he had left behind. “If you are truly the God your Word says you are, then show me Your glory. Speak to my heart. Tell me what you want me to do.”
A soft wind blew by him, but God was not in the wind. Thunder roared outside his window. No revelation came to him from that either. But as he continued to lie on the floor, with his mind made up to wait on God, he heard a still soft voice.
Isaac, my son. You have found favor in my sight. You have ministered to my people, and you have loved my Word; but I have something against you.
Isaac had taken numerous trips to hell. He'd witnessed his brother's torment and held the knowledge that he could do nothing about it. He'd even fought with demonsâin the natural and supernatural. But hearing the actual voice of God was no everyday occurrence for him. He was awed, bowled over by this new thing in his life. He thought he already knew why God was displeased with him. He thought God was upset because of that Glock he was holding a couple of weeks ago. But this was no time for guesswork. He kept his face to the ground. “Speak, Lord. What have I done?”
You forgot your first love.
Isaac sat up and leaned against his bed with his head in his hands. Had he heard wrong? “Lord, you know that my first love was the streets. Your Word told me to come out from among them, so that's what I tried to do.”
Go back.
Isaac wanted to be obedient, but he was weak in that area. All he could remember was standing over Mickey, contemplating killing him and stealing his drugs.
I am stronger than your strongman. I will be with you.
For hours after God's declaration, Isaac lay on the floor praying and crying. He would stand in the gap for the hustlers, pimps, and thieves of the world. This was his assignment from the Lord. He was not meant to pastor a multi-million dollar church or collect honorariums from speaking engagements. God showed him that he was a street preacher.
He wallowed on the floor a while longer, praying that the end of this journey would not find his soul in hell. But if he did not do the will of God, where would his soul find rest? “I'll go, Lord. Send me.”
38
When Isaac arose from prayer, the moon had descended and the sun ruled the day once again. As he got off the floor, he looked to heaven. “The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of coins of gold and silver.” The words from Psalm 119 wouldn't let Isaac go, so he had surrendered to them.
He opened the bedroom door and walked into the kitchen. Nina was at the stove, putting on a pot of grits. Donavan was sitting at the table.
Nina gazed at Isaac with longing in her heart. They were still. Saying nothing, meaning everything.
Isaac broke the silence. “I'm not going to take the job Bishop offered me.”
Donavan's head popped up. “Are you crazy, Dad? Didn't the man offer you a million dollars?”
Isaac held up his hands. “He only said that it was possible to make a million. The church would only pay about a hundred thousand.”
“Hello, middle class. Good-bye ghetto. I'm tired of living in this neighborhood anyway,” Donavan told him.
Isaac laughed. “This neighborhood is my assignment.”
Nina gave him a questioning look as she grabbed a spoon out of the utensil draw and stirred the grits.
What could he say? He was tired of trying to relate his hell experiences to people. Nina would probably understand, but Donavan ...
“Last night, God spoke to me. I'm supposed to minister to people that are on the street. The same streets I wanted to forget all about.” A smile of pride overtook his face as he looked at Nina. “But you didn't forget. No, you never let our past go or forgot that people are hurting on these streets. That's what your writing is all about.”
Nina's mouth hung open. “You've read my books? You never mentioned it.”
Laughing again, he told her, “Of course I read your books. Can't wait for the next one. And don't think I don't know that Johnson Smalls is me. Just be glad that I can't testify against my own wife.”
“Wife?” Donavan and Nina said in unison.
He looked to Donavan. “Shut up, boy. This is grown folk's business.” Turning his attention back to Nina he said, “You heard me.” He strutted over to her, took the spoon out of her hand and looked deep into her hazel eyes. “We were meant to be together, Nina. God put us together from the beginning. I need you, baby. Will you please marry me?”
She tried to speak. He put a finger over her lips.
“Now, when we first got together, we weren't saved, nor thinking about the Lord. I had tons of money and could give you anything you wanted. I don't have that kind of money anymore. And I don't know what the future holds. I can't give you guarantees of riches. But, I can guarantee you that my life, now and forever, is submitted to God.”
Tears creased her eyes. “It's never been about the money, Isaac. IâI ...”
He wiped her tears with his hands and covered her mouth with his lips. Lips that said, “I love you, girl. Can't make it without you.” And with her own lips, Nina responded.
“Oooh! Donavan yelled and pointed at his mother and father.
Nina broke away from Isaac's hold, picked up the spoon and stirred the grits. “Sit down, Isaac. Breakfast will be done in a minute.”
Isaac turned her back around to face him. “You didn't answer my question, Nina. Will you marry me?”
The tears that were only creasing her eyes seconds before were now rolling down her face. Nina shook her head. “I can't give you an answer right now, Isaac.” She wiped the tears from her face, then said, “Let me pray about it. I'll give you an answer, but I need to know if this is what God wants me to do.”
Isaac could understand that. They had been through a lot in the years that he had known her. Isaac was ashamed of a lot of the things he had done to Nina; especially the time he put his hands on her. He stepped away from Nina, not wanting to pressure her. He grabbed a biscuit out of the pan on the stove and took a bite. “This is enough for me. I've got somewhere to go this morning. I'll probably pick up something on my way.”
She stopped stirring. “Where are you going?”
He smiled. She hadn't said “I do.” She hadn't actually accepted his proposal for that matter. But she was already wanting to know his comings and goings. He could have pointed this out to her, but decided to let it go. “I'm going to see Mickey this morning.”
Nina looked nervous. “Are you sure that's a good idea, Isaac?”
“I'm not sure about a whole lot of things right now, but I think I need to do this. I feel like this is the direction God is sending me in.”
“Just don't get yourself arrested before the wedding,” Donavan joked.
Isaac headed toward the door. “I'll be back this afternoon.”
Nina followed and caught up with him on the porch. “IâIsaac, I don't know if you were serious about what you said in there or not. But you do remember that ...” she looked down at her feet, “I can't have any more children.”
Isaac lifted her chin. Their eyes met. “I'm only going to say this once, Nina. Charles is a fool. He kissed her soft moist lips. “See you when I get back.”
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