Laugh Like You've Never Cried (Summer Lake 5) (20 page)

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand.

She picked it up. It was a text from Michael.

She smiled. He was so sweet.

M
ichael sat in the parking lot staring up at the library. Megan was closing up tonight and Ethan was over at his mom and dad's place again. He was pretty sure his mom kept stealing the kid away to give him more time to see Meggie. He smiled when he saw her come out and lock the big doors behind her. Just the sight of her like that, hair tied up, glasses back on, had him needing her. It didn't matter that she was back in her baggy jeans. He knew what was underneath. He smiled—and he knew it was all his. He watched her run down the steps then shook himself. He needed to stop watching and let her know he was here before she got in her car and went home. Or, maybe he should let her do just that and catch up with her there? No. He opened the truck door. He didn't have long. If she wanted him to come home with her, that should be her decision.

“Meggie!”

She was opening her car door. She stopped and looked up, startled. Her face transformed as she smiled. She was thrilled to see him and making no attempt to hide it.

“Hey!”

“Hey, you! What are you doing here?”

“I dunno, it seems that every time Ethan's got something to do, I'm like this Meggie-seeking missile. I have to come find you.”

She laughed. “Well, now you've found me, what are you going to do with me?”

He closed his arms around her and leaned back against her car, pulling her with him. She felt so good against him, standing between his legs, her arms reaching up around his neck. He slid one hand down to cup her ass while the other unfastened her hair. Her eyes widened as she pressed her breasts against his chest, driving him crazy.

“Is that your way of telling me what you're going to do with me?”

Jesus! “If that's your way of saying that you want me to, little one?”

She nodded. “I want you to.”

He grinned. “In that case, may I escort you home, young lady?”

“Certainly.” These days that smile seemed to be getting a whole lot more naughty, and a whole lot less guilty. He loved it!

He pulled into her driveway behind her and joined her as she got out of her car. She let them in and Ollie made his usual fuss of them both. Megan turned to smile up at Michael.

“How long do you have?”

“Only a couple of hours. I need to pick Ethan up and get him home to bed.”

She laughed. “After you picked me up and got me to home to bed.”

Blimey, he would love to! But he didn't want to do that and then go off and leave her on her own. It just didn't seem right. She deserved more than that. “I just needed to see you, Meggie. We don't need to go to bed.”

She reached up around his neck and smiled at him as she rubbed her hips against his. “We don't 
need
to, but I
want
to, and I think you do too.”

He closed both hands around her ass and pulled her hard against his aching cock. “You know I want you. I want you all the time. All day, every day, I want you. Even back at work today, one of the receptionists said there was a Megan on the phone. I got the biggest boner, ran for the phone and of course it wasn't you. All I could think about was seeing you, getting you naked again.” He brushed his lips over hers. “I need to be inside you.”

She was clinging to him now. “I need you, Michael. Just telling me that, you've got me all hot, and wet, and needy. I need you to take me upstairs and make love to me.”

How the hell was he supposed to say no to that? But he had to say something. “I would like nothing more, but I don't want to come here, take what I need and then leave you to sleep alone. It's not right, little one.”

“Michael.” She was unbuttoning his shirt as she spoke. He wasn't going to be able to walk away and they both knew it. “I'm going to be sleeping alone either way. So why don't you give me what
I
need so that I won't have to lie here all night wishing that you had.”

She was persuasive! Her little hands unbuckling him, slowly pulling down his zipper and touching him through his shorts, were even more persuasive than her words. He wrapped both arms around her middle and stood up straight. Her hands came up to his shoulders as her feet left the floor. “Lift your legs up, Meggie.”

She smiled. She understood this time and wrapped her legs around his waist as he headed up the stairs. In the bedroom, he headed straight for the bed and laid her down. Within seconds there was a pile of clothes lying on the floor and a hot, naked little Megan lying next to him. He reached for the condom but she took it from him.

“Can I do it?”

He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded as he lay back. She tore open the package and smiled at him. Kneeling between his legs she rolled it on to him, so damned slowly. Her little hands slid over him, making him close his eyes. She was driving him nuts! He couldn't take it any more. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, flipping them both so she was trapped underneath him.

She panicked. “No!” She screamed and started beating his chest with her fists. Jesus! He rolled off her and she leapt up from the bed. Her breathing was ragged as she stumbled across the room. He jumped up and followed her.

They hadn't closed the door and Ollie came flying in. Michael was relieved that Ollie went straight to Megan and leaned against her legs whining, relieved that Ollie hadn't perceived him as the threat and tried to protect her.

“It's okay, Meggie. You're safe with me.”

She was shaking from head to foot, tears streaming down her face, her arms crossed over her chest. He approached her as carefully as he would a wild animal. She let him. He hugged her to him. She felt so small and fragile. He had to wonder if she was already broken.

“It's okay, Meggie. I've got you. You're safe. You're okay. It's all okay.”

Just like the last time, he held her while the shaking and sobbing subsided. He felt her slowly relax against him as he kept talking, repeating the same words. He stroked her back, just as he'd done with Ethan so many times over the years. With the little guy, it was a woman, his own mother, who had destroyed him. He couldn't help the anger that coursed through him at the thought that some guy had destroyed Megan. He swept her hair away from her wet face and planted a kiss on her forehead. “How you doing down there?”

She buried her face in his chest. “Feeling pretty stupid.”

“No, Meggie. I've told you. It's not stupid.
You
are not stupid.”

She slowly lifted her tear-stained face and gave him a weak smile. “So why on earth did I just do that? Normal people don't do that.”

“Normal is a myth. Everyone thinks normal is what other people do. Reality is that we all just do what we can. I can't tell you why you did that, but I think you can probably tell me. And I think it's about time you did.”

She nodded and he could feel her start to shake again.

“You don't have to, if you don't want to though.”

“I do. Well, I don't, but I think I need to.”

“Okay, will you be all right while I just take care of two things?”

She nodded again. “I'll wash my face.”

She disappeared into the bathroom and he got rid of the condom. He really hated those things! Then he fished his phone out of his jeans and called his mom.

“Hey, angel. Everything's okay here. I told you, you don't need to check up on us. Just go out for a while and have some fun.”

He smiled. She was so good to him. He always felt bad that he had such a great mom, while he'd found Ethan such a lousy one. “Thanks, Mom. I'm not checking up on you. I'm calling to ask if Ethan can stay the night.”

“Of course he can. You know that. Are you having
lot
s of fun then?”

He had to smile. “No, Mom. It's not that. It's just that Megan got a little upset.”

She came out of the bathroom and stared at him as he was talking.

He hoped she was okay with it. “She's a bit upset and I don't want to leave her on her own tonight.”

“Oh dear. Is she going to be all right?”

He wished he knew the answer to that one. “I hope so, Mom. Tell Ethan I'll call him at bed time?”

“Of course, don't you worry about him. He's busy beating your dad at chess and teasing him mercilessly as he does.”

Michael smiled. Business as usual there then. He hung up and smiled at Meggie.

“You don't need to stay. You should go home to Ethan.”

He shook his head. “I'm not going anywhere tonight. I'm staying right here with you.” He climbed onto the bed and piled the pillows against the wall. Once he had himself comfortable, propped up against them, he held his arms out to her. “Come here and give me a hug, Meggie.”

She got in with him and sat between his legs. He pulled the covers up to her chin, then keeping his arms on the outside, he closed them around around her. She was still shaky, but she leaned back against him and nestled into him.

They sat that way for a while. Neither of them said a word. Michael waited, knowing she was trying to figure out what to say and how to say it.

She turned and rested her head against his chest, reaching her arm around him. He kissed the top of her head.

“Adrian isn't a bad man.”

He stroked her hair and waited.

“I don't think I can stand to tell you the things he used to do.”

Michael's arms tightened involuntarily around her. He didn't think he could stand to hear them either.

“I'm sure you can work it out from the ways I've over-reacted with you. When you grabbed my arm last Sunday. What happened just now. When you talked about wanting me to....you know.....use my mouth. All those things brought up bad memories. Only Michael, I don't even remember, until afterwards. It's just like this survival instinct kicks in and I panic first and think about it later. I'm so stupid!”

He let out a sigh “I keep telling you Meggie, you're not stupid. It's a very normal reaction to trauma.”

She said nothing. “It's not just the panicking that makes me say I'm stupid. It's the fact that I stayed with him so long before I ran away.”

“You ran away?”

“I had to. I couldn't take it anymore. Kenzie helped me. I had to find a place to live, somewhere to go. She needed a place too. So we rented an apartment in LA and when it was all ready, I ran.”

“You couldn't just tell him you wanted out?”

She shook her head.

He didn't really need her to spell that one out either. He was already piecing it together, and it wasn't making a very pretty picture. “What about your parents? Could you not have gone to them for help? You never talk about them.”

She was quiet for a long time. “They wouldn't have understood. They still don't. We don't see them anymore. I haven't heard from them since I left Adrian.”

“Why don't they understand, Meggie? You're their daughter.”

“Yes, but Adrian is their friend.....and was part of their church.”

Wow! He didn't know quite what to say to that, so he waited.

She turned her head and peeked up at him, searching his face.

He cupped her cheek and pecked her lips. “You can tell me...if you want to.”

She pressed her face into his palm then turned away again, so she could stare at the wall while she talked.

“I told you fun wasn't really allowed in our house when we were growing up. That's because my parents belong to a church.....” She shook her head. “It's not a real church, some of
those
are nice. Their church is more like a cult, I suppose. Everyone gives up their worldly goods and they all live together. It's kind of like a circus too, because they keep moving. They have to, because after a while they get run out of town. They recruit people with all kinds of promises of heaven and Jesus. Then they take all their money and, well, it's just horrible. But it's what they believe. Kenzie ran away when she was seventeen. It was hard without her.”

Michael shuddered. He hadn't thought groups like that really existed. He'd heard about them, of course. He’d seen news stories, but still it just seemed so out there. He hugged Meggie to his chest, hating the thought of some dirty old bastard abusing her.

“You said Adrian was part of the church?” He had no idea how he kept his voice steady.

She nodded. He had always liked me, and when I graduated from college he volunteered to be the one to watch over me. I think he was tired of always having to move with the church. He still had his own house, so he took me there. I was lucky because I was allowed to go to school for my Masters and even to work at the library.”

“Lucky?” To be
allowed
to go to school, to get a job?

“I know it sounds weird to you. It does to me now, but growing up that was the world I knew. I thought I was wrong for wanting anything different. Kenzie got out as soon as she could and all I ever heard was how wicked she was and how she would go to hell. Then with Adrian, everything I ever did was wrong. And he never missed the opportunity to tell me how stupid I was.”

Michael just held her. It was all he could give her while she told him her story.

She turned her head again now, her smile an attempt to lift the mood.

“You may have noticed that I'm a little clumsy?”

He winked at her. “You? Nah. Can't say I have, darl'.”

She gave a little laugh. “You're too sweet.”

He smiled back. “Don't tell anyone though. You'll blow my reputation as a badass.”

She shook her head at him. “Okay then, it'll be our secret. Anyway, what I was going to say is that I've always been clumsy, but my time with Adrian made it worse. He ridiculed everything I did, which made me nervous, which made me even more clumsy.”

Michael nodded. He'd seen that cycle with some of Ethan's friends and their parents.

“I don't know what else to tell you. I think that explains why I panic, why I am the way I am, and perhaps some of why I hide from people. Is there anything else you want to know?”

“There is one thing. What changed? Even that first night I met you, you wanted to run away home and hide.”