Laughter in the Wind (16 page)

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Authors: SL Harris

Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Bella ebook

BOOK: Laughter in the Wind
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“Do you think Grandmama knows who her father is and what the story is behind her conception?” Olivia asked.

“I don’t know. And I know better than to ask,” Eliza said firmly. “Your Grandmama won’t talk about Gran and Mary at all. Let me finish and maybe you’ll understand why.” Eliza continued the story in a more somber tone. “Gran was heartbroken but raised Mary’s baby as her own. Her family had enough influence that no one openly questioned the situation, but the scandalous whispers persisted throughout the years Grandmama was growing up. They never bothered Gran. She’d built a wall around her heart when Mary died and it was only in her final few years that she started letting her closest family inside that wall. Grandmama had much thinner skin. She had fewer defenses as a child and a young woman and was often hurt by the rumors.”

“Poor Grandmama.” Olivia was nearing tears again. “And Gran was probably too wrapped up in her own grief to notice how it affected Grandmama.”

“Exactly,” her mother confirmed. “Grandmama felt like if Gran and Mary had never been lovers, her life would have been easier, less painful. And I’m sure she’s right. But it all started when Gran met a girl from Springtown. That’s why she was so upset when she heard you talking about your friend from Springtown.”

Olivia thought for a few seconds then responded. “I guess I understand, Mom, but I don’t know how I can keep from disappointing or upsetting her. I can’t change who I am…or how I feel about Rebecca.” She smiled at Rebecca and squeezed her hand.

“Well, let’s try to give her a little time,” her mother suggested. “Maybe she’ll change her mind,” she said hopefully.

Olivia’s eyes were clouded with doubt, but she tried to sound upbeat as she agreed to wait and see.

* * *

 

Olivia’s mother left shortly afterward to return to the hospital but promised to return the following day to talk to Olivia further about Gran and Grandmama. Rebecca had stifled her desire to ask more questions but her mind was racing with them. She asked Olivia to get her notebook from the bedroom and she moved over to the table. Olivia returned with the notebook and sat down next to her.

“May I make a few entries?” she asked Olivia.

Olivia turned to the first blank pages and handed her a pen. “Of course,” she said, watching closely to see what Rebecca might write.

“I want to make a list of all the questions we initially had,” she explained. “Then we’ll know exactly where we stand. We can see what questions are left unanswered.”

“Okay, that sounds like a good idea,” Olivia agreed. She was relieved to have something constructive take her attention away from the rift between her and her grandmother.

Rebecca wrote quietly for a few minutes then handed the list she had compiled to Olivia.

Who was MJ and how was she connected to Jane Smith?

Mary J. Farthing, lover of Jane Smith, mother of infant daughter raised by Jane Smith as her own after death of Mary during childbirth.

Who was Ralph and how was he connected?

Ralph Dunlop, hired hand of Farthing family, left town after dispute with Mr. Farthing.

What was the secret Eliza and Steve were talking about on the phone?

Did something happen recently at Mary’s grave?

“Are there any questions you can think of that we need to investigate?” Rebecca asked.

“I have a couple I want to add,” Olivia said, as she grabbed the pen and bent over the notebook. She quickly jotted down her ideas then showed them to Rebecca.

Who was the father of Mary’s baby, and how does he fit into the picture? Why didn’t he step forward to help out?

Who did we hear laughing? Is Peacock Cemetery really haunted?

“Yeah,” Rebecca said. “Do you think we’ll ever figure out the last one?”

“I don’t know, but stranger things have happened,” Olivia said optimistically. “Maybe we can call one of those paranormal investigator groups and have them check it out,” she jested lightly.

Rebecca chuckled then became more somber. “I’m sorry, you know,” she said softly, putting her hands over Olivia’s. “About your grandmama being so upset with you, I mean. You know I would never want to cause problems or pain for you.”

“Oh, Rebecca,” Olivia cried out. “You aren’t causing the rift. I am who I am regardless of your presence or absence. Grandmama is causing the rift with her attitude toward Gran coloring the way she views the world, even allowing it to ruin her relationship with me.”

Rebecca gently pulled on Olivia’s arms, guiding her over to sit on her lap again while she held her and tried to soothe her. “Maybe your mom will be able to get through to her,” she said. “Don’t give up on her.”

Olivia rested her forehead against the side of Rebecca’s head. “I hope you’re right,” she said.

They tried to renew their interest in the music, but both were too distracted by their own thoughts after the revelations of the afternoon. Eventually, they ended up on the sofa, Rebecca sitting at one end with Olivia’s head resting in her lap. Rebecca absently played with Olivia’s hair, curling locks of it around her fingers. She carefully traced the lines of her face, trying to memorize every detail to carry home with her. Olivia stared at a spot on the wall in front of them, her mind apparently centered on the events of decades past.

They were both startled when Rebecca’s ring tone sounded. Aunt Patsy was finally shopped out. She offered to stop by Olivia’s apartment and pick up Rebecca, so Olivia took the phone and gave her the address to enter into her GPS. Olivia closed the phone and returned it to Rebecca.

“I’m sorry if today’s been sort of a bummer for you,” she said, placing an arm around Rebecca as she moved to sit close to her. “I’ll have to try and make it up to you somehow.”

This time when their lips touched, Rebecca felt more than desire in Olivia. Olivia’s pain at the denial by her grandmother was evident in her kiss. Rebecca responded carefully, holding Olivia tightly and allowing her to take from her as a bee takes nectar from a flower.

Rebecca felt Olivia’s need easing in the kiss and relaxed her embrace. She leaned back slightly to look into Olivia’s eyes. Tears welled in their corners, but some of the sparkle she loved was starting to return. “Will you be okay?” Rebecca asked. “If you’re not, I’m not going to leave. I’ll call Mom and Dad and see if they can come and get me in a day or two.”

“I would love for you to stay,” Olivia said, holding Rebecca’s face between her hands. “But I’m going to be okay. I know it’s a lot to ask to have your parents come after you. And we both need to study. I doubt if we would do that even if you had your books here. At least I’d have a problem concentrating on boring textbooks with you sitting across the table from me.” She smiled and gave Rebecca a quick peck then dropped her hands down to hold Rebecca’s.

“I want you to go home with Aunt Patsy like you planned. Maybe I can get some of this worked out this weekend with Mom’s help. Thank you though, for offering. You are a sweetheart, you know.”

“I can see how much this has upset you and I’d do anything to take that pain away,” Rebecca vowed.

“I believe that,” Olivia asserted. She leaned forward and kissed her again. No pain was evident in this kiss, only hopefulness and promise.

Rebecca reluctantly released her hands and stood to gather her things. Aunt Patsy should be there any moment. She saw her pull up to the curb in front of the building, turned to kiss Olivia quickly good-bye, then left as Olivia had asked before she could change her mind and argue to stay.

If Aunt Patsy noticed her niece’s subdued manner, she didn’t comment. She rattled on about her shopping exploits and Rebecca was glad she had little need to contribute to the conversation. By the time she reached home, she had never felt more drained.

When she stumbled into the house, her parents had just finished supper. Rebecca was too tired to eat and declined her mother’s offer of a sandwich.

She promised to catch her up on the day’s events the next morning, texted Olivia she had made it home safely, then went to her room. She stretched out on her bed fully clothed and was asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

Chapter Thirteen

 

Rebecca awoke feeling groggy and slightly disoriented. For a moment she couldn’t remember where she was and why she was still wearing her shirt and jeans. She stared at the ceiling and the fog slowly cleared from her thoughts. The events of the previous day replayed through her mind. Olivia sure had a lot of things to sort through. She didn’t envy her the confrontation she realized must come. She knew Olivia was determined to live her own life and wasn’t willing to hide her feelings from Grandmama any longer. Yet, based on what Eliza had disclosed, if Grandmama were to accept Olivia for who she was, she would have to overcome a lifetime of pain, pain from growing up with a distant mother and pain from the scandalous whispers of others.

Rebecca also wondered where her own feelings for Olivia would lead. Previously, they had flirted and found an obvious sexual attraction toward one another, but yesterday had been different. They had bonded on a different level, sharing a spectrum of emotions from pain to hope. Rebecca felt a growing love for Olivia and thought Olivia felt the same way toward her. Rebecca felt afraid to express it—she didn’t know what she would do if it wasn’t reciprocal. She tried imagining several scenarios for how the next few years would go and felt reassured that placing Olivia into any of them only made the future look brighter.

She realized that now was probably not the time to push Olivia about their relationship. She would have to be patient and allow Olivia to concentrate on her relationship with her grandmama first. Besides, this was Rebecca’s first love and her brain kept reminding her heart it was wise for both of them to go slow anyway. She hoped her heart was listening.

Rebecca heard her mother vacuuming in the hallway outside her bedroom door and grinned as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Her mother was a creature of habit and Rebecca knew this was not the time of day for her to vacuum.

“Wake up call?” she queried, as she trotted past her mother to the bathroom.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” her mother asked just a little too innocently.

Rebecca knew her mother was expecting a full rundown of the previous day’s events, so she hurriedly showered and changed into fresh clothes. When she entered the kitchen, her mother was sitting at the table behind her newspaper. She couldn’t resist the barb, “Finish your vacuuming already?”

After filling her coffee cup, Rebecca sat down at the table and settled in for what she knew would be a long interrogation. Beth folded her newspaper and set it aside, giving Rebecca her undivided attention. Rebecca told her mother all she had learned the previous day. She knew her mother would treat the story as confidential. Beth was not a cog in the local rumor mill. There weren’t many around who would remember the Farthing family anyway, so the story certainly wouldn’t be much grist for the mill.

As she related the tragic tale, her mother expressed surprise and dismay. Rebecca watched her closely as she repeated the statement made about Olivia carrying on with a country bumpkin from a hick town and noticed the quick flash of anger. After she finished, she sat back in her chair and sipped her coffee, waiting for her mother’s response.

Rebecca’s mother reacted with understanding. “It must have been very difficult for Olivia’s grandmother when she was growing up. In that day and age, anyone who didn’t come from a traditional home could be treated very badly. And to make it worse her mother was unable to comfort and support her. She may not have even noticed her pain. That’s a lot for a child to handle. I’m not surprised she reacted the way she did to Olivia’s connection to a girl from Springtown.”

“I agree, Mom. It’s quite a mess. Olivia isn’t sure she’ll ever come around to accepting it. I don’t know what to do for her, how to help.”

Beth took Rebecca’s hand. “I may not know all the answers but Olivia is going to need time to heal. She’s going to need your support, especially if her grandmother persists in her rejection of her. Just be there for her, listen when she needs to talk and don’t push her to make choices she may not be ready to make. And if
you
need someone to talk to, remember, I’m always here for you. June told me you told her about you and Olivia. You know she’s there for you, too.”

Her mother looked directly at Rebecca as she spoke. “I know I haven’t come right out and said anything, Bec, because I didn’t want to push you to talk until you were ready. I can see you have some very strong feelings for Olivia.”

Rebecca nodded but didn’t speak.

“I don’t know how to ask this, Rebecca. Are you sure what you’re feeling is right for you? I mean, are you sure you’re…attracted…to women?”

Her mother’s voice had been gentle and hesitant. Rebecca knew in her heart she wasn’t really questioning her choices, only seeking confirmation, but it still stung a little that she asked.

She nodded and tried to look away, but her mother tugged gently on her hands. “You don’t need to look away. I’m not ashamed of you. I’ll always love you, for who you are, all of you.”

“Thanks, Mom. Not just for this morning. For letting me make my own choices. You know I love you, too.” Rebecca squeezed her mother’s hands in her own. She could see the love in her mother’s eyes and she remembered how Olivia described
her
mother’s reaction. Rebecca realized how lucky she was.

She studied her mother now, truly seeing this woman she had called Mom all her life, realizing how much she had taken for granted all these years. She was surprised at the signs of aging she hadn’t noticed. The graying at her temples was new—she was sure it hadn’t been there a year ago. The creases at the corners of her eyes and mouth were deepening and the reading glasses that used to hang neglected around her neck most of the time were finding their proper place perched on her nose more often now than not. Rebecca hoped her mother hadn’t hastened her aging by worrying about her but suspected she had.

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