Lauraine Snelling (30 page)

Authors: Whispers in the Wind

BOOK: Lauraine Snelling

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That night she was adding wood to the fireplace when Lucas wandered into the room. He came to stand beside her. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“I like keeping the fire going. I never used to think of watching a fire burning in a fireplace as being peaceful, but it makes me feel that way.” She sat down on the stone hearth at the end away from the hottest part.

“Cassie, we need to talk.”

She looked up at him. He pulled a chair around and sat down so their knees were nearly touching.

“I thought I could wait awhile, but . . . yes, I did mention ‘after we are married.’ You weren’t dreaming it. But it is a dream of mine.”

Her face felt almost as hot as her backside. “Your mother told you.” On one hand she’d wanted Mavis to talk to him, but on the other she wanted to jump up and go hide in her bedroom. What could she say? Mavis—could she call her Mor like the others did?—was right, though. It was best to get this out in the open.

Lucas took one of her hands in his. “Cassie, I care for you deeply. You are my dream come to life.”

“You feel sorry for me is all.” She wanted to take her hand back but sat still instead.

“No. I want to marry you. I’ve wanted to marry you since the first time I saw you.” He cleared his throat. “That is—will you marry me?”

“Lucas, you might think you love me, but you don’t know me.”
And besides, you’ve not even said you love me, not that it would make a whole lot of difference.

“Ah, but I would love getting to know you better.”

“But you see, I think of you as a brother or good friend. I don’t love you.” There, she’d said it. Hard words but so true. While his hand was warm, she didn’t feel any different. Where were the tingly feelings she’d read about, the attraction that her mother said she’d had for Adam the first time she saw him ride into the ring on that stunning white horse of his? Cassie stared at her hand, shaking her head.

“Cassie, let me make you love me. Give me—us—time. What can it hurt?”

This was so confusing! How could he make her love him? Was it possible? Could she come to love him? Or was love not such an important part of marriage? Did it happen sometimes later on?

Or does he just want clear title to the ranch?
That thought sneaked in like a snake in the woodpile. She sighed. What choices did she have? Other than to go back to the cabin as soon as she could work it out, where was she going?

“I don’t think this will work, but—I’m not saying yes—but we shall see. Just don’t get your hopes up.” Well, that was certainly a definite way to handle this.
I have a lot of thinking to do. And praying, as Mavis would say, most likely will say.

She stared at the handsome young man in front of her. Why couldn’t he just love Betsy, as they all thought he did? She rose and he did too. But he was standing right in her way. She looked up at him, realizing he wanted to kiss her. Instead, she stuck out her hand and shook his. “Thank you. I think.” And sidestepping him, she headed to the kitchen and the safety of the others. One more thing to worry about.
What does God have to say about this,
she wondered.

That night, looking out on the moonlit snow, she took Mavis’s advice.
God, I give up. This is all too much. If you have a plan for my life, a way for me to take care of my people, I need to know that for sure. And marriage to Lucas? That would solve a lot of problems, but I’m so afraid it would create more. I just don’t know what to do. I guess I would like some sign that you are indeed listening. Trust doesn’t come easy for me anymore.

She sighed and crawled into bed. If Lucas could make her love him, that would solve a lot. But right now she needed winter clothes for Micah and Runs Like a Deer. Probably not rainbow-colored coats like the one Joseph’s father gave him, but something plenty warm.

Nagging thoughts stole sleep from her.
I let them all down.
Can someone make someone else love him?

“Cassie, what’s troubling you?” Mavis asked the next afternoon when the men were all up at the sawmill. The sun was shining like it wanted to make up for the snowfall that was fast leaving the ground bare again.

“Lucas asked me to marry him. I know that shouldn’t be troubling to a woman, but . . .” She paused, trying to think of a pleasant way to frame her concerns. Mavis picked up her mending basket. The warmth of the fireplace felt good, since outside it was still colder than chilly.

“Take your time. No hurry.”

“Thanks. I guess that’s one of the things bothering me. Is Lucas always in such a hurry?”

Mavis smiled around the yarn she was threading through the darning needle with the large eye. “When he knows what he wants, he goes after it.”

Cassie took the iron poker and stirred the fireplace, then added another chunk of wood. As the sparks flew up the chimney, she exhaled. “I told him I don’t love him. Shouldn’t there be some kind of spark? Did you feel something special for the man you loved?”

“Oh, did I ever.” Mavis’s face took on a dreamy quality. “I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever known, and sparks seemed to jump in the air when we got close to each other.”

“How long was it before you married him?”

“I didn’t marry him. I married his best friend. For you see, I needed a home, a place to put down roots, and Adam Lockwood had the itch for adventure like you wouldn’t believe.”

Cassie stared at her friend. “Adam Lockwood? My father?”

“Yes. He asked me to go with him, but I couldn’t do that. I just couldn’t. Did Ivar know how I felt?” She stared into her mending basket, or perhaps it was into the past. “We never discussed it. We married, and since we were already very good friends, love came. He loved me, and I don’t know when, but one day I realized how much I loved him.”

“Did he make you love him?”

“I don’t think so. I kept praying and I believe God opened my eyes to His plan for me. This land, this ranch, my three fine sons and daughter. A man as steadfast as those rocks at the end of the valley. Once he gave up the drinking, he was everything God wanted him to be. When he died, the light went out around here for a while, but then God reminded me that He would be my husband and the father for my children, three of whom who were already men. I have found that God always lives up to His word. Men leave and make mistakes and love and die, but God never changes. He said, ‘I love you,’ and He meant every word.”

“Trust isn’t easy.”

“No, it never is, but my land, it is worth it.”

“But where was God when those men attacked the cabin and destroyed my wagon?”

“He was right there. Someday when you look back, you will see that He worked good out of that evil, just like He promises. That could have been so much worse. I shudder to even think about it—bullets flying up there, your wagon burning.” She heaved a deep sigh. “Cassie, I am so thankful He brought you here, into my life.”

Cassie stared into the fire. A fire burned up her wagon, but this fire was heating the house and keeping her warm. Two sides of the same thing. God was using one for good, while the other had happened by evil.

Trust. Could she trust Him? What if something bad happened again?

She thought to some verses she’d read that morning. Jesus had promised that He was going away to get a home ready for His disciples, His friends, people in the world. Like her. She had a heavenly home to look forward to. And she had an earthly home now too. That cabin up the hill was her home, this ranch, this place. Hadn’t He given her this, the dream she’d asked for—a home? A real home with sturdy walls, a fireplace, wood for the winter, friends to grow with. Staring into the glorious red and gold and yellow of the flames, she could almost hear a voice.
I brought you into a new land, to a home I prepared for you. Can you—will you—trust me for the rest?

Cassie leaned over and took the mending basket from Mavis’s lap. “I can’t cook and do all the things you do, though I’m learning. But I can sew and mend. And I will choose to trust Him as you did. But one thing I ask.”

“What is that?”

“Will you remind me sometimes?”

“Oh, never fear, God will remind you, and He will give you the peace that passes all understanding. Ah, Cassie, let Him lead, even though sometimes His answers come like whispers in the wind.”

Lauraine Snelling
is an award-winning author of over 60 books for adults and young adults. Her books have sold over 2 million copies. Besides writing books and articles, she teaches at writers’ conferences across the country. She and her husband make their home in Tehachapi, California.

Books by Lauraine Snelling

Golden Filly Collection One*

Golden Filly Collection Two*

High Hurdles Collection One*

High Hurdles Collection Two*

Secret Refuge

Daughter of Twin Oaks

Sisters of the Confederacy • The Long Way Home

Dakotah Treasures

Ruby • Pearl

Opal • Amethyst

Daughters of Blessing