Laura's Big Break (18 page)

“Tell me about that day,” she said at last, “if you remember.”

He snorted and shook his head slightly.

“I don’t need to remember, I relive it every night. Well,” he shrugged as though it was nothing, “at least I did until our holiday. I’ve been able to sleep just fine these past two weeks.”

His blue eyes pinned her down.

“Thanks for that.”

Laura didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t known how traumatised he’d been. He was thanking her for stopping the dreams? An ache like nothing she’d ever felt before started in her chest. As he looked away it began to spread throughout her body. It took a minute to realise what it was. Her heart was breaking.

“It was an ordinary day,” he began. “We were on rotated duty and I was working that day. Some of the guys were volunteering at the orphanage. There was a football game. Kids were laughing.”

His eyes took on a faraway look.

“I was worried about a couple of the kids, they had infections and I wanted to check up on them, but I was needed with the patrol. If they’d let me go to check, I would be dead.”

Nausea assaulted her. Her pen stilled. She didn’t need to write this down; she would remember every terrible word.

“Jones, good guy from Sussex, said his gut was off. It was midday, we’d just eaten, I thought he meant he was sick. He looked at me kind of funny and said no. We were walking down the main street when we saw a glint coming from a rooftop. Anywhere else it would be a reflection in glass, nothing to worry about. Over there it was enough for a call to go up and we scrambled. We thought it was a sniper. We took cover against walls and behind vehicles.”

His eyes gave nothing away. Laura desperately wanted to touch him, to soothe him, but they were past that now.

“That’s what they wanted. They wanted us against the orphanage walls; probably they wanted us all to run for cover into the building. About ten seconds later, it felt longer, the first blast hit. The wall behind Jones crumbled trapping him in the rubble. There was screaming and panic. I tried to get to him, to see what I could do. I was running towards him when the second blast hit. My ears were ringing; I couldn’t hear what was being called. My radio was static.”

His face paled, he wasn’t with her now, he was back in the desert. His whole body was tense; sweat broke out on his forehead. If this was what it was like for him to talk about it during daylight, Laura could only imagine what his nights were like.

“Jones was beyond my help,” he said coldly. Laura’s hand flew to her mouth. His friend dead.

“A shot rang out. Sniper. A woman in the yard of the orphanage went down. I ran towards her. It was chaos all around me. I couldn’t stop the blood. She wrapped her fingers in my uniform and repeated the same word over and over as she died. I found out later it meant ‘your guilt’ – she was blaming us. Me.”

Laura’s cheek was wet. She rubbed at it to find she was crying.

“That’s when I saw her, the little girl. She was standing in the middle of the compound. Just standing there. Dirty, terrified, completely unable to move. People were shouting. I couldn’t hear anything through the chaos. I thought it was a call to retreat, to get out of there. I wasn’t sure. Honestly, I didn’t care. There was a kid standing, waiting to die. I threw off some of my gear and ran. Straight at her. The house to our left blew up. Gunfire kicked up the dirt around us. I honestly didn’t think about any of that. I just grabbed her and ran.”

He seemed a little bemused when he looked at her.

“I’ve never ran as fast as that, short stuff.”

“Gunfire will do that to you.”

Her lame attempt at humour fell flat, hampered by the fact she was crying.

“Back up came. We retreated. The little girl was wounded, gunshot to her lower abdomen. We took her back to base and I worked on her. She was pretty serious, it was touch and go. But we saved her. Afterwards I found out what had happened. Taliban members had infiltrated the orphanage months, maybe even years earlier. They were waiting for us to relax and we did. They had the whole place rigged; half of it didn’t go off. Our guys took out that sniper, but they’re like weeds, always another. I got reprimanded. Disobeying an order. I really can’t say for sure I heard the order anyway.”

He looked her in the eye. A very different Charlie to the one she knew. There was nothing carefree about this one.

“I would do it again.”

She held her breath. He was terrifying. Strength oozed from him, backed up by absolute conviction. She swallowed hard, her throat was dry.

“We lost three men that day. Eight children and four Afghan adults. Jones’ parents asked me to speak at his funeral. I did the best I could, but I don’t think it was enough. Now that guy, he was a real hero. All I did was pick up a kid and be unlucky enough to get filmed doing it. Jones knew about the attack. He was well trained; a complete expert and he had instincts that would blow your mind. He’ll be missed.”

She supposed the implication was that he wouldn’t be missed. She kept her mouth shut.

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Laura. Do you have enough for your story?”

She nodded. She couldn’t trust herself to speak. It was humiliating to put him through this just to entertain the readers of a woman’s magazine. She wasn’t going to ask for more. For a minute they sat in silence. Everything that was said and unsaid became a wall between them.

“I didn’t know about the nightmares.”

She wanted to say she was sorry, but it didn’t feel enough somehow.

“Don’t sweat it. You scared them away for me.” He gave her the lopsided grin that made her want to taste him. Instead she was left with an empty echoing pain. “You sure make life interesting.”

That was one way to put it.

“I need to file my story.”

She felt foolish telling him.

“Deadline looming. Rent due.”

“Yeah.” She stood, pulling her oversized bag over her head so it sat diagonally on her body. “I think it’s best if I catch a train to Amsterdam and fly home.”

“Probably right.”

Words ran through her mind. Would he be okay? Would he sleep without her?

“It’s been a blast,” was what she settled for.

Charlie grinned.

“Literally.”

Laura flushed red.

“So, uh, I guess I’ll be seeing you.”

“Sure.” He stood in front of her. “We both know Maddie.”

The message was clear. The only way they would meet would be accidentally through his sister. If it was what she wanted then why did it hurt so much?

“Good. Okay. Well thanks again for the interview and the trip. Hope you figure it out. Life I mean, and what to do with it.”

“Enjoy the new job.”

They stared at each other awkwardly. Laura turned away first. She pulled open the door, smiled goodbye and stepped out into the hallway. And then she was gone. Tears stung her eyes as she plodded down the steps. Had she hoped he would stop her? Did she want him to change completely and offer to compromise his life to be with her? Did she mean anything at all to him?

Tiny little sobs squeezed themselves out of her mouth as she marched to the train station. Even though she kept checking over her shoulder, Charlie was nowhere in sight.

Charlie looked around the hotel room, which suddenly felt shabby and cold. He slumped down onto the edge of the bed. It was time to put Laura out of his mind and get on with things. It was time to make some decisions about his life. He could float around London for the foreseeable future or he could choose a direction. Maybe it was time to become a little more responsible. He rubbed a hand down his face and let out a frustrated breath. As usual Laura had been right about him too. He had found himself. He knew what he was. Now he had to decide what to do about it. That was what adults did right, took stock, did what was right, not just what they felt?

He looked at the doorway which had swallowed Laura. That’s what she’d done. She’d been mature, responsible. Right? He squared his shoulders. It was time to grow up.

He picked up his phone, scrolled through his contact numbers and dialled one in the UK. As it rang he wandered to the window. Laura was nowhere to be seen. His chest felt tighter. He felt cheated. His holiday still had two more days on the clock and yet she was gone. How was he going to sleep now?

“Mark Chambers,” the voice in his ear said.

“Mark, it’s Charlie. Are you still looking for an on-call doctor?”

“Are you kidding me?” He could imagine the guy, huge as he was, bouncing in his seat. It made him smile. “You’d be helping us out of a bind. Are we talking permanent or short term?”

Charlie watched people wander down the brick inlaid street in front of him. Folk cycled past, bikes laden with shopping. Over the road, the café overflowed out onto the broad pavement. The tables were full of people, even though it wasn’t even lunch time yet.

“Charlie, you there?”

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “I’m thinking permanent. Well, as permanent as anything is these days.”

There was a whoop. He held the phone away from his ear.

“That’s the best news I’ve had all day.”

“Yeah, that would mean more if I didn’t know it was mid-morning in England.”

Mark ignored him.

“I’ll draw up a contract. It will be good to have you on long term. You know how much we need you. And don’t worry, if you freak out at the permanence, you can always quit.”

He could hear the grin in Mark’s voice and it made him smile wryly. It appeared even folk he didn’t know that well had him summed up.

“I’m in Holland right now. I’ll be home tomorrow and I’ll pop into the office then. But I want to start straight away, what have you got for me?”

He heard paper rustling.

“We have a desperate situation in Bolivia; the doctor we hired broke his leg and won’t get there for another six weeks, at least.”

“Bolivia it is.”

“This is fantastic man.” Mark’s enthusiasm was contagious, Charlie felt his mood lighten. “You’ll be making a huge difference. These people really need a doctor. You won’t regret this.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Charlie hoped Mark was right, he hoped he wouldn’t regret working with
Medicine International
. They were a great charity, did a lot of good work around the globe, but it was a huge commitment and it worried him. After all his regrets were beginning to stack up and there were only so many a man could take. He counted them off in his head, first there was Jones and the fact he couldn’t save him. He looked down the street. Second there was Laura and the fact he hadn’t stopped her.

He let the curtain drop. Yeah, he regretted that. Even though he still had no idea what he would have done with her. He looked around the empty room. It wasn’t the same without her. After he threw his meagre belongings into a bag he headed for the tandem. Once he’d traded it in for a better bike he planned to cycle as fast as he could back to his car. Maybe then he wouldn’t have a head full of regret.

The door slammed hard behind him.

CHAPTER TEN

Laura hesitated outside Claire’s office. She held the flash drive so tightly that it bit into her still raw skin, but she couldn’t seem to loosen her grip on it. Maggie, Claire’s assistant, smiled at her sympathetically. It didn’t help; it only made the butterflies in her stomach turn into full-fledged bird. She swallowed hard.

“Do you want to sit down and have a glass of water first?” Maggie whispered.

Laura shook her head and tried to smile. No. She needed to get this over with. It was just that her feet weren’t working properly. She seemed to be stuck to the spot.

“I need a minute,” she whispered back.

Maggie nodded. The sympathy on her face almost made Laura start to cry again and she couldn’t do that anymore. The bags under her eyes were so big that even make-up couldn’t camouflage them and she was back to wearing her huge black rimmed glasses because she couldn’t keep her contacts in for very long.

Deep breath. She stared at the door as the flash drive containing Charlie’s story felt heavy in her hand. She had no idea why she didn’t just email it in, but she couldn’t. Even the thought of it had made her ill. So here she was, staring down the witch’s door and wondering what to do next.

“You’ll get used to her,” Maggie whispered. “We all do eventually. You learn pretty fast around here that life is a lot more pleasant if you give in to her demands early on. Less stress.”

Yeah, and Maggie looked less stressed. With her wide eyes and grey skin she looked every bit a terrified mouse.

“It’s a good place to work. People are queuing up to work here. We should be grateful.”

The woman sounded as though she was trying to convince herself.

“I’m okay,” Laura said, although no one had asked her.

She took a deep, shaky breath and stepped towards the door. She knocked boldly.

“Come in,” the ice queen called.

Maggie gave her a thumbs up gesture and then Laura was inside the room.

“Why on earth didn’t you send the thing to me?” Claire scolded. Her lips pursed making the tiny lines around her mouth, that screamed she used to be a smoker, all the more pronounced. “This story was supposed to be here last night. Are you trying to make us miss a deadline? I had to get Patty to write a backup story in case you screwed up. At least we can use it next month. Come on then.” She held out her hand. “Hand it over. Let’s see what masterpiece has turned you into a snivelling wreck?”