Lazy Days (60 page)

Sarah
stretched and opened her eyes to morning light filtering through the heavy
canvas above her head.
What a great adventure!
At the other end of the
wagon, she felt Jill and Flo stir. Next to her, Julie sat up. Surprisingly,
four females sleeping in the wagon had not been as uncomfortable as she would
have thought.

Julie
slipped from her sleeping bag.

"Morning,"
said Flo and Jill.

"Morning,"
replied Julie.

Sarah
said cheerfully, "Looks like a beautiful day, everyone."

Julie
lifted the canvas flap and climbed out of the wagon in her jeans and T-shirt.
Pulling her sleeping bag outside, she said, "I'll roll the sleeping bags
up out here. Just hand them to me when you're ready." A couple of minutes
later she peeked back under the flap. "Ned just delivered a bucket of
water. Do you want me to lift it into the back of the wagon?"

Sarah
glanced at Jill and Flo and they nodded. "Yes, please." She raised
and secured the flap on a hook and then leaned outside the wagon to grab the
handle of the bucket Julie was lifting.

* * *

Sage
finished his morning round of checking over the wagons and greeting early
risers.
So far, so good. Everyone's happy and no accidents.
He was a
stickler for safety. He glanced up just in time to see Sarah leaning out of the
back of her wagon reaching for a bucket Julie was handing her. Her appearance
shot hot desire straight to his groin. She was wearing a camisole tucked into
pantaloons. The thin cotton top had slipped off one shoulder and in her bent
over position her breasts had almost fallen free of the garment. God, the woman
was built! He couldn't draw his eyes away. She looked up and met his gaze and
almost dropped the bucket. He rushed forward to assist.

"Here,
let me help." He grabbed the pail and his daughter stepped aside. Now he
had a close up of a scantily clad Sarah. It was difficult, but he moved his
eyes to her face. She jumped back and pulled her camisole almost to her chin.
Her coloring turned pink and then red. She reached overhead and the canvas dropped
in his face.

Shortly
after eight, Sage called, "WESTWARD HO!" and the pioneers moved on.
The day was clear with puffy clouds floating in an azure sky; perfect for wagon
train travel.

Around
eleven, the same as the day before, they circled the wagons and Curley and his
crew prepared lunch.

Sage
followed his protocol of checking each wagon for mechanical issues. Not finding
any, he decided to take a breather and walked to an outcropping of boulders
about a hundred feet away. Circling the boulders he leaned against the far side
and closed his eyes. Unbidden images of Sarah leaning out of the wagon teased
his mind and for a few seconds he allowed free rein to his imagination,
remembering the kisses they'd shared. He heard a noise and opened his eyes.
Uh
oh.

"Hello
Sage," said one of the M twins.

"Uh,
hello. Where's your sister? What are you doing away from camp?"

She
smiled seductively, "I snuck away and followed you here."

"Why?"

"I
think you know why."

"Uh,
Mindy…Mandy, this isn't a good idea. You need to return–"

Before
he could finish his sentence, the M girl had her body pressed against him and
her mouth covering his. He was so stunned he froze. When his brain caught up
with what was happening, he grasped her shoulders to push her away at the same
time he heard humming and then a shocked, "Oh, my God!"

Sage
jerked backward from the M girl and saw Sarah standing a few feet away staring
wide-eyed. The girl giggled, "Hi, Sarah."

All
Sage could think to say was, "It's not what you think."

Sarah
blinked a couple of times, said nothing, and then rushed back around the
boulder.

"Shit!"
He looked at Mindy/Mandy and shouted, "Get your ass back to camp!"

* * *

Stupid
tears! Sarah swiped at her cheeks. After surprising Sage and one of the twins
getting it on, she'd walked swiftly away. Then she'd started running. Now she
was lost.

Her
beautiful adventure had turned into a nightmare. She sniffed. The man was a
player; no doubt about it. She hated players. She'd been married to one for
five miserable years. She hated Sage. Of course, she knew that wasn't true. She
only wanted to hate him. Being honest with herself, she was hopelessly
attracted to him. She rubbed the back of her neck, forcing herself to face her
present predicament—lost in the woods of Colorado. She glanced at the sun,
determining which direction was west. She knew that was the direction of the
Lazy M. Should she walk that way or remain where she was and hope someone found
her? What would Tarah do? She decided to walk.

An
hour later, Sarah was tired, thirsty, scared, and overheated. She had
unbuttoned her blouse to the tops of her breasts and removed her jacket to tie
the sleeves around her waist. What if she had to spend the night lost and
alone? There had to be wild animals looking for their next snack. She raised a
shaking hand to the pulse pounding in her throat. Was she going to
hyperventilate and pass out?

A
sound jerked her around. Fear froze her to the spot. Movement made her gasp and
she was about to scream when Sage rode into view on Jackel. Releasing her
breath, she leaned forward and placed her hands on her knees, inhaling deeply.
She looked up at him from that position. Anger etched his features.

"Of
all the stupid, hair-brained stunts, running off into the woods tops the list.
What the hell were you thinking? I've been searching for you for over an
hour."

Sarah
blinked. After what she'd witnessed, the man had the audacity to call her
stupid, as if getting involved with one of the twins wasn't stupid. Heck, maybe
he was involved with both of them. She rose to her full height, "You
arrogant jerk! To think I was giving you the benefit of the doubt for your
behavior at Java Junction."

"What
the hell does Java Junction have to do with being lost in the woods?"

Sarah
ignored his question and lifted her chin. "Point the way to camp."

Sage
frowned and pointed left of her.

Raising
her long skirt, she started walking in that direction.

"Do
you intend to walk while I follow on horseback?"

"Now
that I know the way, you can leave," she called without looking around.
She heard the clop of hooves behind her.

After
a few minutes of silence, Sage said, "Sarah, I wasn't kissing whichever
twin that was."

Sarah
stumbled, righted herself, and continued as if she hadn't heard him. Finally
she said, "Whomever you kiss is no concern of mine."

"Is
that why you ran off?"

She
stumbled again. "I…I didn't run off. I was heading back to camp and took a
wrong turn."

"You're
lying. And you're also walking in the wrong direction again."

Sarah
stopped and turned around. Sage pointed to her right. She glared at him and
started in that direction.

After
several more minutes, he said, "Are you ready to get on the horse so I can
take you back to camp?"

"And
ride with you. Never!"

"Okay,
I'll walk and you can ride."

"No."

The
brisk walk was making Sarah's side hurt and she paused to catch her breath. She
heard Sage urge Jackel forward. When he was beside her, he reached his hand
down to pull her up.

She
looked at his hand, then up into his face, shadowed by his Stetson.
"No!" She started walking again.

"You
are one stubborn woman, Mims Murphy."

Before
she knew it, he was off his horse and grabbing her shoulders, walking her
backwards until a tree stopped her. She squealed and pushed against his chest.

"I
swear to God, I wasn't kissing that girl. She cornered me," he said low.

Sarah
looked into the blue flame behind his irises and stopped pushing.

Sage
softened his tone, "The only woman I want to kiss is you."

Sarah's
eyes widened and her mouth gaped. In slow motion she watched his face descend toward
hers. Neither of them closed their eyes. Even when he was so close she was
seeing four flames, she couldn't draw her eyes away.

His
lips gently touched hers and she finally lowered her lashes, hanging on to his
shirt. He pressed harder against her lips. She moaned. He groaned. She released
his shirt and lifted her hands to the back of his head, pulling his mouth
tighter. His expertise ignited a forest fire and she kissed him with years of
stored passion.

The
harder he pressed his body against hers already backed up to the tree, the more
passionate she became. His hands roamed up and down her sides and she wanted to
scream at him to touch her where she wanted to be touched. He must have been
psychic, because after that his hands and fingers performed magic, followed by
his mouth.

Sarah
couldn't think a rational thought if her life depended on it. All she wanted to
do was touch Sage. And she did. She heard ragged breathing in her ear.
"Sarah, Sarah, don't. I want our first time to be special. You're driving
me insane." He stilled her hands and leaned back to look down at her. She
blinked. She blinked again, and put a hand to her mouth.

Sage
pulled away. "Not like this," he repeated, and reached for the hand
covering her mouth, lifting it to his lips and kissing her palm. Before pulling
her away from the tree and toward Jackel, he buttoned her blouse that was now
unbuttoned to her waist, and fastened his Levis after tucking his shirt back
into them. Silently, he helped her onto the stallion and then mounted behind
her. Flicking the reins, he walked the horse forward.

Sarah
purposely kept her mind blank. She couldn't face the depth of her passion for
this man. Numbly, she closed her eyes and willed her erratic pulse to even out.

"The
wagons are beyond those trees." He pointed.

Before
reaching the trees, she felt wet warmth on her neck below her ear where Sage
was kissing her. Unable to stop herself, she leaned backwards against him. He
said, "We'll finish this later."

Dismounting,
he grabbed the reins of Jackel and led the horse and Sarah back to camp.

Sarah's
body swayed with the motion of the wagon. She sat on a blanket in the back, not
wanting to show her face ever again. Being led into camp on Jackel was probably
the most humiliating experience of her life. Most of the pioneers had rushed
forward with genuine concern for her safety. Sage had tried to defend her
stupidity by saying she'd taken a wrong turn and gotten lost and it could have
happened to anyone. While he'd helped her off the horse, she'd glimpsed the
twins behind him. One of them had looked concerned, the other livid.

The
wagon stopped and Julie, who was now riding next to Ned, turned around.
"Looks like we're breaking for camp." Jill and Flo jumped off the
back of the wagon and waited for Sarah.

"I…I
think I'll rest some more."

Flo
gave her a concerned look. "If you need anything, just let me or Jill
know."

"Thanks,
Flo." Sarah leaned her spine against the wooden support of the canvas. As
soon as they reached the Lazy M, she was out of there. She'd pay a car company
whatever the cost to have them deliver a rental. The fact that she'd feel bad
about leaving abruptly, no longer held sway. She could feel bad for eternity
and it wouldn't change her mind. Remembering her behavior with Sage mortified
her. He had to think she was starved for affection—which she was. Admitting
that sad state of affairs made her eyes sting. A face popped through the
opening at the back of the wagon. Ann said, "Sarah, are you okay? I was so
worried about you."

"Thanks,
Ann. That's sweet. Yes, I'm fine. Just tired."

"Can
I come up and sit with you a minute?"

"Of
course."

Ann
climbed into the wagon and sat on a folded blanket in front of Sarah.
"Umm, Sarah, maybe this is none of my business, but I think I should tell
you something."

Sarah
looked at her, feeling concern for her new friend.

Ann
played with a fold on her calico skirt.

"What's
wrong, Ann? Is everything okay with your family?"

"Ah,
not really. But that's not what I want to talk about. I…ah…want to talk about
Sage."

Sarah
gave her a quizzed look.

"I
know we haven't known each other very long, but I feel like I should say
something."

Sarah
wondered if Ann was going to warn her that he was a "player" and to
watch her heart.
Too late for that.

Ann
said, "Sage is crazy about you."

Sarah's
jaw dropped.

Ann
continued. "The way he looks at you is…is…so romantic. But…but…I think
you…"

Sarah
squinted, willing Ann to continue.

Ann
said in a rush, "But I think you think like I think and can't believe
someone so…so…sexy, can have feelings for you. What I want to say is—if I were
in your shoes, because I know the way I think, I wouldn't believe it, but
because we think alike, I'm able to give you this advice—I'm making a mess of
this—but I'd go for it and give him a chance. He
really
cares for
you!"

Sarah
covered her friend's hand tracing the calico pattern on her skirt. Ann looked
up and Sarah couldn't help the fat tears leaking from her eyes.

Ann
said, "Aw, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry."

Sarah
sniffed, "It's just that I'm such an emotional mess. I don't know why
anyone would want me. I'm still carrying baggage from a failed marriage."

Ann
hugged her. "I think Sage is seeing the real you beneath all that."

"Do
you really think he likes me—
like that?"
Sarah whispered.

"Yes,
he likes you
like that.
I don't know what happened, but when he found
out you were missing, he went ballistic. I saw him pull Mandy aside and he had
her in tears."

Sarah
choked, "You can tell the twins apart?"

"Yep,
I figured it out the first day. Mandy's got shifty eyes."

Sarah
laughed in spite of her misery, then whispered, "Ann, he kissed me and
I…I…sort of went crazy all over him."

Ann
squeezed her hand. "Now I understand why he's wearing a shit-eating grin.
I was hoping something like that happened."

"What
should I do now?"

"Sarah,
you're a woman. You'll figure it out."

"Ann…"

"Yes?"

"Thank
you."

Ann
gave Sarah's hand a final squeeze. "Gotta go find my cranky husband."
She sounded sad.

After
Ann left, Sarah found a water bottle and dampened a cloth to freshen up as best
she could. Pioneer life was becoming a drag. She opened the chest with the
pioneer clothing and removed her second costume, the pretty lavender day dress
with an empire waist, crisp white collar, and white pearl buttons down the
front. She rifled through her toiletries bag until she found her compact and,
using the small mirror, applied blusher, eye shadow, eyebrow pencil, and
lipstick. Her eyes still looked puffy, but there was nothing she could do about
it. Rinsing her mouth with mouthwash, she climbed out of the wagon and walked
to the far side to spit it out. She felt better.

Returning
to the interior of the camp, she chewed her bottom lip. Several pioneers were
visiting in the center and others were relaxing beside their wagons. Even
though she didn't see Sage, the butterflies in her stomach started multiplying
exponentially.

Mrs.
Tully, sitting on a makeshift bench outside her own wagon, waved and motioned
her over.

Inhaling
deeply, Sarah cut across the camp to the opposite side. Several people asked
about her welfare or expressed how glad they were that she was okay. She nodded
and thanked them. She avoided looking at the twins. Mrs. Tully patted the spot
next to her and Sarah sat down.

For
the next half hour, she listened to Mrs. Tully and watched camp life. Curley
lit a fire and started preparing supper with his helpers. Sarah didn't have to
wonder for long about what they would be eating. He hung a pot over the flame
while ranch hands opened cans of stew. What she wouldn't give for a crisp
garden salad.

Suddenly,
Sage circled one of the wagons and walked into camp. She could literally
feel
his presence. She remembered his words:
I want our first time to be special.
Sarah's heart beat so fast she felt dizzy and the world looked fuzzy. Was she
going to faint? Sage must have also sensed her presence because he looked
directly at her. Even from a distance, his eyes smoldered.

Oh
God, I am going to faint.
She dug her nails into the rough wood of the bench to keep
from falling.

Mrs.
Tully leaned toward her. "Sarah, I think our wagon master has feelings for
you."

Sarah
looked at the elderly woman. "Really?" Her heart sang. Even Mrs.
Tully had noticed something.

"Oh,
yes, dear." She grinned. "Now
my
Mr. Tully, he was just like
that when he was that age." She giggled, "Still is."

Sarah
couldn't help but giggle with her.

During
supper, Sage excused himself from the pioneers while he communicated ranch
business via walkie-talkie. She heard him say, "Move the herd to the south
pasture. Send Bobby Joe to repair the north fence and then move the herd
back." She remembered him saying that running a cattle ranch was a lot of
work.

After
sundown, while everyone sat around the campfire, Newt told ghost stories. He
was an excellent storyteller and Sarah sat riveted, letting out a shriek with
the other women and children when he got to the surprise scary part. She looked
at Sage leaning against the chow wagon watching her. She shyly smiled at him.
The way he was always watching her, maybe he
did
have feelings for her.
Later, she climbed into her wagon and settled into her sleeping bag feeling
exhausted, but lighthearted.

* * *

Sarah's
heart raced and her eyes popped open. She clutched her throat, willing herself
to calm down.
No, no, not a panic attack! I haven't had one in years!
Even
though she recognized the symptoms, she was helpless to stop them. Terror and
overwhelming anxiety seized her physically and emotionally. As quietly as she
could, she pushed out of her sleeping bag and tried to muffle her erratic
breathing. Easing past Julie, she lifted the canvas flap and lowered her legs
over the edge of the wagon, jumping to the ground and running full out toward
the looming shapes of tall trees. Ignoring the pain of rocks and rough ground
under her feet, she held her throat and just ran.
When is it going to stop?

She
heard movement behind her and ran faster.
Panic attack…panic attack…breathe
Sarah…breathe Sarah.
She ran past the tree line just as arms encircled her.
She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand clamped over it. Struggling against
an immovable force, terror seized her and she fought like a wild cat.

* * *

Sage
held Sarah in an iron grip. Something was wrong. She struggled like her life
depended on it. He tried to gain her attention by speaking her name low, but
she was either ignoring him or wasn't hearing him. He didn't dare take his hand
off her mouth. If she screamed, the whole camp would be on them. She'd already
suffered enough embarrassment. He held her against him with one hand over her
mouth and the other immobilizing her. He tried talking in her ear again.

"Sarah…Sarah…it's
Sage. Honey, what's wrong. Mims…Sarah…stop fighting me." She suddenly went
still and he continued speaking. "Sarah, can you hear me?"

She
nodded.

"Are
you going to scream if I take my hand off your mouth?"

She
shook her head.

Slowly,
he lifted his hand and she slumped against him as if her legs could no longer
hold her. He lowered her to a seated position. Her head hung forward. He laid
her backwards on the ground and knelt over her. She was as limp as a rag doll.

Smoothing
one hand down her cheek he gently lifted her head with his other. Her eyes were
closed.

"Look
at me, Sarah." She did not open her eyes.

More
forcefully, he said, "Sarah, look at me!"

As
if with great effort, she lifted her eyelids. Moonlight captured tears leaking
from them.

"Baby,
what's wrong?"

She
spoke so low he had to lean closer to hear. "…panic attack." More
tears streamed.

"Oh,
sweetheart." He lay down beside her and turned her into his arms. Her body
shook with quiet sobs while he held her close and whispered comforting words.

Finally,
her shudders ceased and she reached to place her palms on his chest. He lifted
his upper body and looked down at her. She said, "I'm so sorry. I…I
haven't had an attack in years and I…I couldn't help…I'm sorry."

"You
have nothing to be sorry for. I know a couple of people who suffer from panic
attacks. They've told me how horrible they are."

"How
did you know I was out here?"

"Julie
woke me. She said she saw you running from the wagon."

"I'm
so embarrassed. I've made a mess of everything today."

Sage
traced her lips with his fingertip. "I don't like the way it happened, but
I'm happy to be alone with you."

* * *

Sarah
watched a shaft of moonlight touch Sage's hair and travel to his chiseled
features when he tilted his head. She had never wanted anything more than she
wanted Sage Tanner. A fire in her stomach burned away any lingering feelings of
the panic attack. "Kiss me," she whispered. Sage lifted his eyes to
the moon and she saw passion.

"If
I kiss you, I won't stop there."

"I
know."

"Sarah,
you're on the ground. It can't be comfortable."

"I
don't care."

"Sarah,
don't do this."

"You
said you wanted our first time to be special. How much more special is a
beautiful night lit by a full moon?"

She
watched a smile quirk at the corners of his mouth. He looked back at her. For a
long time he studied her face in the moonlight and Sarah forgot to breathe.
Slowly, he lowered his lips until they hovered above hers. His breath touched
her face and she breathed again, mingling her breath with his. He said, "I
want you, Sarah." His lips closed over hers.

Sarah
tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him tight, allowing herself to just
be. Her night of terror became a night of magic.