Lead Heart (Seraph Black Book 3) (28 page)

“Um,” I interrupted, shrugging out from beneath Cabe’s arm. “Do I have a say in this?”

“Depends on what your say is.” Quillan had the decency to look apologetic.

What
was
my say?

Crap.

I didn’t know what my say was
.

“Let’s cut to the real issue,” Silas spoke up. “You’re worried that I’m using her. Well… I’m not. I didn’t want to bond to her—we all knew that—but I have her now. She’s mine. And I’m not going to abandon her or any of you. Weston can torture me every day for the rest of my life and it won’t change a thing. I don’t know how it’s going to work, and I know it won’t be easy… I considered leaving; I almost succeeded… but in the end, I couldn’t do it. So now I’m here.”

Silas and Quillan seemed to be locked into a stare-off, and I didn’t know how to take Silas’s little speech. It seemed that I had somehow won his loyalty when I traded myself for him, though I should have only won his anger for not having traded myself earlier. I leaned into Cabe, watching the other two, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder again.

“Fine,” Quillan finally relented. “No more rules.”

“No sex,” Noah blurted.

Everyone turned to stare at him. Including me.

“What?” I choked.

“I just need…” he avoided looking at me, “time to… adjust. There are four of us. I expected to share, but…”

“No sex,” Silas agreed, shooting to his feet, his voice a snarl.

Quillan nodded, his jaw tight.

“Are you okay with this?” Cabe whispered to me.

“What if I want to have sex?” I replied, a little too loudly. They all turned to stare, and I quickly back-tracked, nervously raising my voice even more. “I mean… not that I
do
. I’m just saying… okay… never mind. So I don’t have to date other people anymore? We’re not still doing that?”

“
No.
” They all spoke in unison, and even Quillan looked aggravated at the question.

“Eesh.” I stumbled away from Cabe, and then took a few more steps away just to gain a bit more distance from the rest of them, too. “I think I’m done with this conversation. I’m going to bed.”

I climbed onto the mattress and reached over to turn the lamp off, but they were all still staring at me. Quillan now wore a shell-shocked expression, as though his own outburst had seriously unsettled him.

“Are you all just going to stand there?” I sighed.

“I’m not leaving.” Quillan strode over to my bed. He picked me up and moved me further into the middle so that he could sit on the edge, and then he seemed to be pulling his shoes off.

“What are you doing?” I asked slowly.

“Sleeping in your bed.” He was back in control of his tone, though I could still see the line of tension in his broad shoulders. “I don’t trust any of
them
to do it, so I’m going to do it. They can get the hell out or sleep on the floor.”

Noah and Cabe looked at each other, Cabe shrugging as they both started pulling mattresses out from beneath the bed. Silas moved to the other side and sat, beginning to unlace his boots. Apparently there were only two single mattresses.

“Cabe, switch with Silas,” Quillan ordered.

Silas smirked, standing and moving over to Cabe’s mattress on the ground. I realised that he had been anticipating the order, and he found it amusing. He caught me smiling and he winked at me, which caused a laugh to burst from my throat. I was pretty sure that Silas had never winked at me before. It didn’t surprise me as much as it should have that the more Quillan lost his composure, the more human Silas seemed to become.

Quillan finished with his shoes and tugged his shirt over his head, flashing me a bare torso ridged with muscle. He must have been finding time to exercise when I wasn’t around; probably in the mornings. He ripped off his belt, tossed it on the ground, and then couldn’t seem to decide what to do about his pants. In the end, he scowled and kept them on. I was smiling again and I couldn’t help it… until the others started to undress as well, and then I had to hide my face in my pillow from the sensory overload. Someone switched off the light after a few minutes, and a comfortable silence descended over the room, punctuated every now and then by a heavy sigh from Quillan. He grumbled whenever I rolled too close to him, but he also grumbled whenever I rolled too close to Cabe, so I ended up trying to make myself as small as possible between the two of them. Eventually, Quillan fell asleep and I managed to relax. Cabe caught me around the middle and pulled me back into his chest, breathing in deeply against my hair.

“You still smell like me,” he whispered.

I nestled in further, breathing in the fresh spring scent that always seemed to lift my mood a little. It was almost too wonderful to be real: the sensation of being surrounded by that smell while Cabe’s body pressed solidly around me, somehow unyielding and soft all at once. I felt like I could sink into him. I traced the skin of the arm that was tucked beneath my head, marveling at how I could be close to him and not feel that horrible itching that had always convinced me that there was something
wrong
between us. I had thought that the bond had been forcing us together against my will, but truly… the bond had been unsettled. It hadn’t formed properly because I had been using Silas as some sort of conduit. Now the bond had settled down and I had only my own feelings to consider.

Mine, and theirs.

“Are you okay with it?” Cabe whispered, repeating his question from earlier.

It was much easier to answer him now, in the comfort of darkness, without the others watching or listening.

“Yes,” I breathed. “I think so.”

They weren’t going to pressure me for sex
. While I was sure it had more to do with them being unwilling to share me in that way with each other, I was still grateful, because I wasn’t ready for that. It was difficult enough to wrap my head around a relationship with the four of them.

Cabe’s hand swept down my side, brushing beneath the hem of my pajama top and settling over my stomach. His palm flattened to my skin, his fingers stretching out, and he released a breath against my neck.

“Good.” He pushed against my stomach, forcing me to shift back slightly, and a rush of heat flooded through me. “Very good,” he breathed.

I placed my hand over his, unsure how to conduct myself. I was surprised at the way my body reacted to his touch; as surprised as I was at the way my body had reacted to Silas the night before. I wasn’t an idiot—I knew what sexual attraction was—but I hadn’t ever experienced it like this. I hadn’t expected my body to bow to the sting of pain, or arch back against the feeling of a body behind me.

Cabe grunted softly, his hand slipping from my stomach to my waist, his fingers gripping me in what felt like restraint. I wondered if I had done something wrong, but I could feel the thump of his heartbeat against mine, and the thrill of heat that radiated from him. He felt
good
, his emotion draped over me like a blanket of flames, licking hotly over my skin. After a few moments he relaxed his grip, his hand moving back to my stomach. I shivered, and his fingers brushed out as he buried his face into the pillow behind me. I could feel the reaction of his body and it brought a rush of awareness into mine that had me catching a whimper on my tongue.

Someone in the room groaned, and I realised that the sound had come from the floor.

“Seph…” Noah’s voice was caught on a growl. “We can feel you…”

“For
fuck’s sake
,” Quillan swore roughly, obviously having awoken at some point. He ripped me out of Cabe’s arms and set me on his other side, almost to the point of falling off the mattress.

“Sorry,” I managed.

Cabe laughed, but it sounded a little pained.

“Sleep.” Quillan reached around me and covered my mouth with his hand.

It was amusing that as different as he and Silas were from one another, they still used the same technique to stop me from talking. His action caused his chest to press against my turned back, and I could feel the heavy press of his heart. It was tinged with the same burning need that I had felt from Cabe, and I widened my eyes, staring at the others lying on the floor. Noah was lying on his back, his arm thrown over his eyes, his fists clenched. Silas was sitting up, his eyes fixed on me; glaring with an intensity that had my throat catching. I gradually felt for all of them with my senses, travelling down the lines of the bond that connected me to each of them. Somehow, my emotion had leaked onto them, and they had all reacted to it. I could feel the awakening need inside them as surely as I could feel it inside myself.

“Sorry,” I choked out again, the word muffled against Quillan’s hand.

Silas shook his head at me and Quillan tightened his grip around the lower-half of my face.

“Damn,” Cabe grumbled softly. “How can I still feel her?”

“We all can, idiot,” Noah retorted lowly. “It’s driving me insane.”

“Stop touching her, Miro.” Silas’s voice was projected lowly, injected with anger and pain, though there was also an edge to his accent that matched the heated feeling I could feel stemming from him.

He looked like he was seconds away from surging to his feet and approaching the bed, and I didn’t know whether he wanted to sink his teeth into me again or tear me away from the others. I shuddered against Quillan.

“I’m barely touching her.”

“
How
?” Noah grumbled. “When she feels like that… how the hell are you barely touching her?”

“
Everyone go the hell to sleep!”
Quillan boomed, his chest rising against my back.

I closed my eyes, blocking off my view of the others as I fumbled with the emotion I was pushing out to them. I worked to slowly raise my guard, and knew that I had succeeded when Quillan finally relaxed behind me. He released a heavy sigh, his grip on my face loosening somewhat.

“Thanks,” he groused.

“You’re welcome,” I squeaked against his fingers.

He chuckled slightly, his hand slipping from my face to my neck, drawing me back into the comfort of his arms. The message was loud and clear.

Sleep
.

I opened my eyes in the morning and immediately looked for Silas, somehow knowing that he wouldn’t be there anymore. The mattress that he had slept on was bare, but I tried not to allow the worry to take hold of me.
It was because he didn’t want Weston catching him there
, I attempted to assure myself.
He wouldn’t leave us; he had said so himself
. I gently extracted myself from Quillan’s arm, standing on wobbly legs and moving to the bathroom. I rushed through a shower, brushed my teeth, and wrapped a towel around myself, peeking back into the bedroom. Everyone was still asleep, so I tiptoed out of the bathroom and rummaged through Cabe’s wardrobe, where I had hung all of my clothes. I gathered what I needed and crept back toward the bathroom, pausing when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Noah had sat up, and was now staring at me, the corner of his lip crooked up, hinting at a grin.

I grimaced in reaction to being caught but he only curled a finger at me, beckoning me closer. I hesitantly approached him, kneeling beside his mattress. He gripped the back of my wet head, yanking me down to him and planting his lips beside my ear.

“Try not to get stuck alone with me today.” His voice was as rough as his grip, belying the smile he had used to lure me over.

I was too unsettled to reply immediately, but soon managed to force a word out. “What?”

“I’m just warning you,” he cautioned, his fingers flexing, his voice low. “I need to give you time;
I
need time. I did horrible things to you, Seph. I can’t forget that so quickly and you shouldn’t either.”

He released me and I almost fell backwards, but managed to catch myself at the last second, my eyes wide on his face. I bundled my clothes tighter to my chest as I forced my shaking legs to carry me back into the bathroom. I had no reply for him.

I finally give into the bond and they all go mental
.

I almost wished that I could backtrack to last night’s meeting and demand to have the ground rules reinstated… but at least there was one line that they weren’t planning on crossing. I quickly changed and escaped the room, avoiding looking at any of them as I retreated to the door down the hallway that marked Quillan’s old room. I knocked and waited until Tariq pulled the door open.

“Hey little brother,” I greeted, pushing into the sitting room and flopping onto one of the couches.

He glanced into the hallway behind me and then closed the door. “You’re hiding from them, aren’t you?” He was grinning.

“Hiding from who?” I asked, my voice carefully free of inflection.

He laughed and shook his head, but didn’t push the subject. Instead, he moved to the small bar fridge set into a leather-padded bench in the wall. He pulled out two bottles of orange juice and two bananas, tossing one to me.

“Where’d you get these?” I asked, already peeling the banana and starting to stuff it into my mouth.