Leap of Faith (4 page)

She ducked her head. “Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. In the cooperatives, everyone works. Right from the start, I chose to work in the nursery. I love children, and I’ve always had a heart for those who never knew their parents.”

Her voice dropped off and once again. Zack was struck by the feeling that she had left something out, something important and somewhat troubling. The fact that she didn’t trust him enough to talk about it bothered him.

He wanted that trust, wanted her to bare her soul as he’d done with her. But every instinct in his body told him she wasn’t ready.

She took a deep breath. “I didn’t know where I wanted to work until the earthquake in Haiti.”

“Haiti? It’s one of the most poverty stricken areas in the world.”

“Unlike you, Zack,” she said with a small shake of her head, “I’ve never had much money, so doing without it won’t bother me quite so much. But still”—she looked away—“the orphanage needs help. I can’t just go down there and be another mouth to feed.”

“You’ve already chosen a place?”

“Of course,” she said. “I’ve always known where I belong.”

“But what about marriage…children of your own?”

She sighed. “I’ve known for a long time that wasn’t the plan for me. I’m always the odd one out, so I’m used to being alone and besides, relationships never work out for me.”

Zack stared at her creamy skin, beautiful dark lashes and wondered if every man in her life had been blind. She was so vibrant, so full of life and unconditional love.

“How could your relationships not work out?”

Zoe shook her head with a wry smile. “Aren’t you the guy who pushed me out his door because our encounter was too weird?”

Zack’s mouth fell open. “Well, yeah, but that was before—”

“Before what?”

He couldn’t come out and say what he thought. Their relationship was too new and way too wacky. He ran a hand through his hair. “Before you slipped a pill in the soda you brought me the other day and turned my world upside down.”

Zoe burst out laughing. “Are you accusing me of drugging you?”

“It’s the only plausible explanation. I just know that I see things differently now. I need time to understand and figure this out. Will you give me that time?”

She stared at him. Her smile faded and a slight frown creased the space between her delicate brows. For one long minute, he thought she would say no. Then she gestured to his burger. “Finish up. I’m ready for dessert and they have the best peach pie in town.”

7

Zoe twisted one long, dangling strand of hair around her finger, held it tight then released it. She watched it fall straight, not holding a hint of curl. Just for once, she wished it would swirl on the ends…just a little. Normally, she didn’t give a thought to things like that. There was no time in her life for primping and vanity. But her hair was the one thing about her that could be called pretty. And just for today, she wanted to be pretty.

Frustrated, Zoe closed her eyes. She didn’t need to be pretty. She needed to get control of herself and focus on what was important.

Just because Zack Manning could look at her and make her feel like she was beautiful didn’t mean she was. And just because he was going to church with her today didn’t mean she was anything special to him.

She was a friend, sent by God, to walk by his side on his new journey. The fact that he was going to church this morning was all the proof she needed of that fact.

Sighing, Zoe turned off her bathroom light and walked away from the mirror. It was easy to think she was just a companion for his journey. Her mind accepted it, but she couldn’t quite seem to convince herself. Every time she heard his voice her heart skipped a beat

It didn’t help that he was so good to look at. His brown hair, just a shade darker than hers, had no trouble with curl. It always fell in a wave over his forehead and was so shiny and silky, she longed to sweep it back and run her fingers through it.

His lips were full and well-shaped, firm and strong. One side tilted up a little, especially when he looked at her. She loved the fact that every time he saw her, he was halfway to a smile.

But his warm, rich eyes made her stomach flip. When he looked at her, she saw a servant’s heart, and his capacity to give showed in his concerned glances, not just for her, but for others. He tried to hide his nature with his cynical attitude, but Zoe could sense the truth deep down.

She was in Zack’s life to help him know God. Zack needed to find God and align his true calling with his current path because, as far as Zoe could see, the real Zack had been suppressed for far too long.

She needed to remember that.

“Focus,” she murmured out loud as she hurried to answer the knock on the door. But as soon as she opened it, her attention waned.

Zack stood in front of her in a light blue, long-sleeved shirt and a dark tie. He wore dark slacks and his suit jacket was thrown over his arm. His lip lifted in that curl she loved, but it turned into a full blown smile as his gaze swept down to her stocking-covered legs.

Zoe’s stomach flipped and her head spun. She swirled in the deep cocoa of his gaze. She was, oh, so glad she’d resisted the urge to change from her belted, long-sleeved sweater dress into sensible slacks.

“Am I late?” he asked, his voice low.

“No…yes.” She shook her head slightly, trying to clear it. “Maybe just a little.”

His smile broadened and all Zoe could see were white, even teeth. Taking her arm, he pulled her close.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you to church so you’re not tempted to fib anymore.”

They arrived after services had started. As they slipped into a back pew, the worship team launched into another song. Standing beside Zack, Zoe was acutely aware of the females in the sanctuary turning in their direction. She couldn’t blame them. Who could resist one more glance at someone as handsome as Zack?

She was tempted to lean into him, to rest her head there and lay a claim. The urge was so strong, she purposely stepped away to widen the gap between them.

Fortunately, the songs the worship team chose to sing were some of her favorites. After a while, she was able to lose herself, singing, swaying and raising her hands in praise. When the songs finally ended, Zoe opened her eyes to see Zack watching her.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured as the congregation shifted to their seats. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

That sweet smile Zack had just for her tilted his lips, and he shook his head. “Never,” he murmured. “I just wish I had the courage to let go like that.”

They settled down in their seats. The pastor’s scripture quote seemed made to order for Zack. Zoe wasn’t at all surprised and should have been able to follow the pastor’s sermon with interest, but she couldn’t seem to forget Zack’s words. What held him back? Why was he never able to relax and let go in worship?

The question plagued her throughout the service and even afterward as she introduced Zack to her pastor.

“Welcome. I hope you two will stay for the pot luck,” Pastor Don said.

Zoe’s lips parted. “Oh, I forgot that was today. I didn’t bring a dish to share.”

Pastor Don smiled. “You know there’ll be more than enough food. Go on over.”

They filled their plates and sat at a picnic table. The sun beat down on them with just the right temperature to make them toasty.

Zack looked up and smiled. “Right now, my home town of Detroit is under four feet of snow. Makes me really glad I’m in Angel Falls.”

“I agree.” Zoe remembered how just a week ago she’d thought the same thing. She studied Zack as he speared a bite of potato salad.

“Zack.” She spoke quietly as she fiddled with her baked lasagna. “Why can’t you relax and worship?”

He hesitated. “I guess it’s because my family’s not prone to expressions of emotion, especially faith expressions.”

He stared beyond her, and she felt she might have pushed the boundaries. Just because she felt comfortable sharing her life didn’t mean Zack did. But God had a purpose to their meeting, and the reason didn’t center on keeping the relationship polite.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed on. “But you did go to Sunday school.”

“That was my grandmother’s doing. She made sure I went every Sunday until she passed. After that, I didn’t go back.”

He paused again, his gaze fixed on a distant spot. “Don’t get me wrong, I missed it for a long time. But it was kind of tied up with Grandma. I missed her so much I couldn’t face it and my parents never went, so…”

A smile flitted over his lips and Zoe caught her breath as she realized it was the same, tilted smile he had for her.

“Grandma always used to tell me that if she was my age, she’d join the Peace Corps and make a difference. I think it was mainly because of her I even considered it.”

“You thought about joining the Peace Corps?” This was the piece of information Zoe had been looking for, the missing link in the puzzle of Zack Manning.

“I didn’t just think about it, I made plans. I went to community college, then I planned to head for Africa. I wanted to work two years before finishing my education.”

He speared another bite of potato salad. “See, I knew that once I finished my degree, a job would be waiting for me, and I’d have to jump into the corporate race. I figured if I joined after two years of college, I could get the experience and then go on with my life.”

“You really did have plans,” Zoe murmured. “So what changed your mind…your parents?”

He ducked his head in a sheepish gesture. “A four-year free-ride scholarship to Wayne State University. An offer to good to turn down. But they tend to frown on scholarship recipients breaking up their college experience with trips to Africa.”

Zoe laughed. “Yes, I imagine they do.”

“My parents had feelings, too.” Zack’s smile faded. “But not for the reasons you might think. My father said it would be a shame to waste my gift for programming and my mom, well…Mom does social work. She’s the director of a center that deals with families and child abuse.”

“Ah,” Zoe said. Understanding filtered through her. “So she sees the worst of the worst.”

“Exactly. She’s burned out, I guess, and she’s a mom. She wanted to protect me.” He ended his sentence with a shrug then laid his fork on his plate.

“That’s why I get worried when I hear you talk about Haiti, Zoe. I know what that kind of work can do to you.”

“It will defeat me,” she said with a nod of her head. “I’m only human.”

He stared at her.

Smiling, she reached across the table to touch his hand. “But when my humanity fails and I’m on my face, God will pick me up and carry me through. If this is truly the path He’s chosen for me, Zack, He’ll give me the strength I need.”

“Such faith,” he murmured. “I hope you’re right. I really do. I don’t think I could stand to see you defeated.”

He gripped her fingers and lifted her hand to his lips. As soon as Zoe saw what he intended, she pulled her hand away and tucked it beneath the table.

“Well,” he said, trying to lighten the mood. “Enough serious talk. Let’s figure out how we can rest and relax for the rest of the day. Do you have plans?”

She nodded. “I’m afraid I do. It’s a once-a-week date.”

Zack’s features dropped. “A date?”

Zoe giggled at the expression on Zack’s face. “Relax. It’s with the Bijou Theatre. Once a week they screen special movies, and I never miss it.”

“I love the movies. Hint, hint,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows.

“I bet you won’t like these. I never saw many movies growing up, so now I watch as many as I can. All of these are black and white.”

“You’re kidding! The Bijou runs old movies once a week? How did I not know this? I’m a huge classic movie fan.”

They walked toward the parking lot, and Zoe halted in her footsteps. “You’re just saying that.”

He held up his right hand. “Scout’s honor. I watch them all the time. My mom is a movie buff. You should see her collection of DVD’s. It almost fills a room. But I’d love to see an oldie on the big screen. What’s showing today?”

She shook her head and started to walk again. “I don’t remember the name. I think it stars Ingrid Bergman and that cowboy star. Oh, what’s his name?”

“Gary Cooper? Is it
Saratoga Trunk
?”

She halted again. “That’s it. You really are a fan, aren’t you?”

Laughing, he took her arm and led her toward his car. “Trust me, Zoe. I wouldn’t make up all the connections we seem to have. No one, including you, would ever believe them.”

8

Almost two weeks later, they walked out of the same theater. The weather, which had been beautiful, had started to cool in the last few days. Zoe shivered as a brisk evening breeze swept over them.

Zack pulled off his jacket and slipped it over her shoulders. “I guess winter’s finally going to show up. How about a bowl of tortilla soup before we head home tonight? Bobby’s Grill on Main has some of the best I’ve ever had.”

Zoe nodded. “Sure. That sounds good.”

It really did sound better to Zoe than her empty apartment. After two weeks of dinner each night, continuous phone calls and constant conversation, she and Zack found they had more things in common than they could count. Zack had joked about it, but they had formed a strong friendship.

It was a good thing because tonight, Zoe needed a friend.

They were seated at their table and had already placed their order before Zack spoke again. “Something tells me we should have gone to the Cineplex instead of the Bijou today. Somehow I think ‘Father of the Bride’ wasn’t a good choice for you.”

A smile floated over her lips. “Don’t be silly. Elizabeth Taylor was stunning and Spencer Tracy, well, let’s just say if I could have chosen a father, he would have been it.”

The waitress delivered heaping bowls of soup topped with chopped onion and shredded cheese. The pungent scent wafted up, and Zoe dug in, anxious for something to take her mind away from her thoughts.

“It’s a good thing we’re eating the same thing or we wouldn’t be able to sit in the car together. These onions are potent,” Zack said.