Learning to Be Little Again (12 page)

“Daddy! It burns! Please!” I begged, just wanting to get up and lose this enema. I tried getting up again, but his hand was still there, holding me down.

“All done, baby girl, but I need you to hold the contents in for five minutes.”

“What!” I shouted as he helped me get into a standing position. I couldn’t believe this. I didn’t think I’d be able to hold this enema in for five seconds longer, let alone five minutes.

“Five minutes. It’ll help make sure everything is taken care of and then we hopefully won’t have to do this again.”

I shot him a scalding look. If he ever thought I’d allow him to do this again, then he was just plain old crazy. The only way he’d be able to do this again was if he tied me down first.

“I know it’s hard, little one, but just try to relax,” he said, pulling me in for a hug as he started to rub my back again.

Clearly
, I thought,
he’s never had one of these before, or else he’d understand and let me go now!

I stayed where I was, trying to relax, but the need to go to the bathroom was starting to become so great, I was sure I was going to combust. I pulled away from him and squatted down with my legs crossed, just like a five year old would who was doing the potty dance.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he said, “You can go now.”

Before he finished his sentence, I was sitting on the toilet. I was just about to go when I realized he was still standing there.

“Leave!” I said, not wanting him to see me like this.

“No, baby girl. Just relax. I’m a doctor. I’ve seen this before and I don’t want to leave you in case you get dizzy.

“Daddy!” I shouted, but my stomach could no longer holds its contents.

I cried the entire time he was watching me. I was mortified. I didn’t want to be here to witness this, and I didn’t know why he stayed when I specifically told him to leave.

He just kept rubbing my back and then flushed the toilet while telling me how I was such a good little girl.

When I finally finished, I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. I was truly exhausted now. I heard the sounds of the bath water running, but didn’t care. All I wanted to do now was go to sleep and forget the enema from hell had ever happened.

“Baby girl, I have a nice warm bath waiting for you. Let me help you finish getting undressed.”

“I want to go to sleep,” I said, lifting my head and looking up at him with puppy eyes again, hoping that he would ignore my sweaty body and just let me go to bed.

He squatted down in front of me. “I know you do, baby girl. But, I need to clean you up. Trust me, after you have your bath, you’ll feel so much better and it’ll help you sleep through the entire night.

“Fine,” I said, giving up the fight to try and convince him that it would be better for me to just go to sleep. He hadn’t been listening to what I wanted this entire night; why would he start now?

“Good. Now lift your arms up so I can take your shirt off.”

I did as I was told and he had me disrobed in a matter of minutes. He picked me up and placed me into the warm water, and I sighed as the warm water relaxed my sore muscles.

“There you go, little one. Now close your eyes, relax, and put your head back while I take care of you,” Robert said as he soaped up my loofa.

I did as he said and soon he had my whole body and hair washed. It felt really peaceful to just let go and let someone else take care of me. I was starting to feel better already and all he had done was just basically wash me outside and inside really well.

“Alright, baby cakes, time to get out.”

I nodded and stood, carefully getting out of the tub and then walking into the towel he was holding out for me. He dried me off, brushed my hair and teeth, and carried me back into my bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and I looked at him. What was he doing? I still needed to get dressed before I could go to sleep.

“Baby girl, I want to put you in a diaper for tonight.”

Instantly I felt a cold shiver go down my spine. No, I was not going to do this.

Just as I was about to protest, he said, “You’re beyond exhausted, sweetie. I’m not going to make you use your diaper tonight. I just want you to wear one so if you wake up in the middle of the night and have to go to the bathroom but don’t want to get up, you can use it. If you don’t want to, though, just wake me and I’ll take it off you, and you can go to the bathroom. I just want you to have it on in case.”

When he put it like that, I was okay with wearing one as long as it was my choice to use it. But then I was afraid he would laugh at me like Boyle had. So I shook my head.

“Can you tell me why?”

“I don’t want you to laugh at me,” I muttered, looking anywhere else but at him.

“Sweetie, how could I laugh at my little girl? What kind of a daddy would I be if I laughed at you?”

“A bad one?”

“Yes, I’d be a horrible daddy. Juliana, I promise I will never laugh at you no matter what. Besides, being a doctor, I have seen much crazier things than this.”

“I… fine then. But I won’t watch,” I said, flinging my arm over my eyes dramatically.

“That’s okay with me, pumpkin. You just lie back and relax,” he said, chuckling.

I felt him remove the towel from around my body and lift my legs up. When he put my legs down, something soft was underneath me. He washed my pussy, powdered it, and then fastened the diaper around my waist.

I kept my arm over my eyes, not ready to see what I looked like. He picked my legs up again and this time when he put them down, everything was covered in softness.

“Baby girl, I need to move your arm so I can finish putting on your jammies. Close your eyes if you still don’t want to see,” he said, right before he pulled my right arm from my face and placed it through the arm hole of my jammies. After that, he did my other arm and zipped up my jammies.

“You can open your eyes now.”

I did and saw him staring down at me.

“There’s my beautiful baby girl. I’ll be right back and then we can have snuggle time before you go to sleep, alright?”

I nodded as he first went to one of his bags and pulled something out of it, then walked out of my bedroom.

Well, it’s official. I’m back in diapers. Hopefully this goes better than the last time,
I thought, closing my eyes once again.

Chapter Fourteen

I hurried to the kitchen, not wanting to leave Juliana for too long. I was very pleased with how she was letting me take care of her tonight. After the enema, I thought she would refuse to wear a diaper, but she hadn’t. Now I just hoped she would allow me to feed her a baby bottle.

I knew that she hadn’t been eating anything even before she admitted it to me, but I wondered why. She had been doing so well. I thought that my staying over here was helping her work past her demons. Obviously, I had been mistaken.

I could worry about it later, I decided as I filled the bottle in my hand with some orange Gatorade.
Hopefully this will help to settle her stomach,
I thought as I headed back into her bedroom. She was standing over by her bedroom mirror and must not have noticed me come back in. She kept twisting and turning, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked so cute doing it and I knew she’d captured another piece of my heart.

“There’s no need to look in the mirror, little one. You look as cute as ever.”

She jumped and turned around to face me. “I didn’t hear you come back.”

“I realize that. Why don’t you jump into bed? I have a bottle of orange Gatorade for you to drink. If you’ve been sick, we’ve got to get some fluids into you.”

“Gatorade?” she asked with a nasty look on her face. “It’ll hurt my stomach!”

“Sweetie, your tummy is just upset because you haven’t put any food in it. It’ll suck up this Gatorade and be very happy. Come on, hop into bed,” I said, sitting down on the right side of her bed as she got into the left side.

She lay down and just looked at me, and I positioned her so we were perpendicular, cradling her neck in the crook of my left elbow. Basically, I was holding her like a baby as I brought the bottle to her lips. She took it and hesitantly began to suck. After a few seconds, she got the hang of sucking from a bottle and started to drink normally.

She must have been more tired than I thought because she fell sound asleep after only finishing about a fourth of the bottle. I would have really liked her to drink more, but I didn’t want to force her to stay awake.

I pulled the bottle out of her mouth carefully, then placed it on the nightstand and gently shifted her so she was lying on her pillow. I pulled the covers up to her chin and placed a goodnight kiss on the top of her head.

Grabbing the bottle of Gatorade, I walked out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly so she wouldn’t be disturbed by me. Then I went into the kitchen and placed the bottle in the refrigerator.
She can drink it later
.

I then headed into the family room, sat down on her couch, and dialed Mark’s cell phone number.

“Hey. How’s Juliana? I just got off work and I’m going to run home, change, and I’ll be right over.”

“Hey. Slow down, man. I just put her to sleep for the night, so could you wait to come over until tomorrow?”

“Fine, but can you tell me how she is?”

“Something happened to her. I came over and she looked so sick. She hasn’t been eating or sleeping. I’m about ninety-five percent sure she lost all the weight she gained since I’ve known her.”

I sat back on the couch and pinched the bridge of my nose, as Mark let out several curse words. “Do you know what brought this all on?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to talk about it tonight with her. But if I were a betting man, I’d say it has to have something to do with her ex-boyfriend, Boyle. I won’t know for sure though until I talk to her.”

“I want to be there with you when you do.”

I wasn’t so sure that was a smart idea. All the times I had tried to broach the topic of Boyle with Juliana, she changed the subject so fast. I didn’t want too many people to be there and make her even more skittish about it. But Mark had been the one who found and took care of her, so maybe she would be alright with him there.

“If she’s okay with it, then I’m okay with it too.”

“That’s fair. I’ll be over first thing in the morning.”

“Alright, bye.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and put my cell phone back in my pocket. I closed my eyes, thinking about tonight. I knew in my gut that Juliana’s behavior had something to do with Boyle. She wouldn’t have just decided to stop eating and sleeping for no reason. I decided I could figure it out tomorrow.

I went upstairs, got ready for bed, and headed into the bedroom, then changed into my pajamas and got underneath the covers, pulling Juliana close to me. I gave her another kiss on the forehead right before I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up at my usual time, six o’clock, and yawned, feeling like I had barely gotten a wink of sleep last night. My poor baby girl woke up screaming five times from nightmares. Each time I comforted her and got her to go back to sleep. Her last nightmare had been at three thirty in the morning, so I was happy that she was having her longest stretch of sleep now.

I got out of bed, grabbed a new pair of clothes, my razor, shaving cream, and a baby monitor. I placed the baby monitor on Juliana’s nightstand and then carried the other one along with all of my stuff into the bathroom.

I took a long shower, letting the warm water ease my tired muscles. When I finished, I got dressed, shaved, combed my hair, and carried the baby monitor with me towards the kitchen.

“What the hell?” I shouted and jumped when I saw Mark just sitting at the kitchen table and drinking a cup of coffee.

I walked to Juliana’s bedroom door to see that my outburst hadn’t woken her up, thankfully. I shut the door so Mark and I wouldn’t disturb her, then walked across the family room and into the kitchen.

“What are you doing here? You practically gave me a heart attack, man,” I said, placing the baby monitor on the kitchen table and then going to the cabinets to get myself a coffee cup. I poured myself a hot cup, added some milk and sugar, and sat down across from Mark.

“It’s six thirty. I know you always get up at six. I didn’t realize you’d be in the shower.”

“It’s fine. I’m just tired. Juliana kept having nightmares last night.”

“Is that what that’s for?” he asked, gesturing towards the baby monitor.

“Yes. All her nightmares started with her whimpering and ended with her screaming ‘
No
!’ I want to wake her up before she starts screaming. I’m worried about her, Mark,” I admitted, glad that I finally had someone to talk to about this.

“Me too. I checked up on Boyle last night to see if anyone heard about him. Turns out, he skipped bail and there is a warrant out for his arrest.”

“Well, that’s just fantastic,” I said, taking a big gulp of coffee. Why couldn’t this scumbag just leave my poor baby girl alone?

“Do you think we should tell Juliana? I hate the thought of making her worry more than she needs to.”

I took another sip of coffee, thinking about that. Mark was right. On one hand, I didn’t want to worry her because it would only hurt her. On the other hand, I thought she had the right to know. Also, if she knew, it would make her more cautious.

Coming to a decision, I said, “I think we should tell her. It’ll make her more cautious and she has the right to know.”

He was about to object, but I held up my hand to silence him as I continued, “With that being said, I will tell her boss so he can make sure to keep an eye on her. I know that you and Juliana have mentioned in the past that he is an older man who has daughters around Juliana’s age and so he’s extra protective of her. Let’s use that to our advantage.”

“What about when she isn’t at work? Her boss can’t be with her all the time, and you and I work.”

“True, but that’s the beauty of being in a practice with three other doctors. I only work one weekend a month, and I always get Mondays off. On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I work from nine in the morning to five at night. Then on Thursdays I work from one in the afternoon to nine at night. Juliana works from eight thirty in the morning to five fifteen in the evenings, Monday thru Friday. I’m close enough to drop her off and pick her up four out of the five days in the business week.”