Learning-to-Feel (16 page)

Trent laughed as he walked out, and Steve shook his head at us.

The nurses spoiled me with sandwiches, muffins and coffee, saying it was only fair if I had to work nearly thirty hours straight, it was the least they could do. I was certainly not going to tell them not to bother...

I noticed Dani spent a lot of time with Toby. Every time I checked on him, she was there. And when Adam came back in the afternoon, I also saw how he watched Dani. It was clear he adored her, and it was clear she was oblivious. I knew she looked at me. Hell, even the Chief told me she had a crush on me, surely Adam saw it too.

I tried to keep my distance from her, but it was a small place. She did more sitting with Toby than work, so it was a little difficult. Every time she looked at me and blushed or gushed, it was awkward. But Adam didn't see how uncomfortable it made me, he watched her, how she touched my arm, how she smiled at me. He didn't see how I recoiled from her touch, cringed at her attention, and how I tried to avoid her. Apparently, neither did Dani.

Dr. Varner started his shift early, surprised to learn I never went home. I reassured him it was my choice to stay, and it was really no big deal, but I'd be glad to go home.

Before I left, I approached Adam to tell him about Scott. "I phoned Portland. The surgery went well, I believe," I said, and he sighed in relief. "He has a rod, with pins and plates, inserted along his thigh bone. He can expect a few months of physio."

"Will he be coming back here?" he asked. "His family can’t get to Portland to see him."

"In a few days, I think," I told him and smiled. "They'll try getting him up on his feet before they let him go anywhere."

"Up on his feet so soon?" he asked disbelievingly.

I nodded. "Assisted of course, but they don’t waste time these days."

He sighed again, and his head fell back against the hall wall. He looked as exhausted as I felt. Dani walked in and smiled and stumbled when she saw me. Adam closed his eyes, not able to watch her fawn over me. "Everything okay?" she asked.

"Dani," I said very seriously. "Your friend here needs a hug," I told her, and Adam's eyes flew open. I walked toward my office and called out, "Doctor's orders."

When I got to my office door, I could see she had her arms around him. Smiling, I collected my satchel, phone and keys, and went home.

I walked inside, threw my bag on the table, toed my shoes off and headed to the kitchen, exhausted.

Trent walked in from somewhere. "Hey, 'bout time you came home."

"Mmmm," I agreed with him and opened the fridge, looking for something to eat.

"You sit." Trent ordered, steering me to a chair and busying himself,. He dished out something, heated it in the microwave and when the smell made my stomach growl, it was ready.

"My infamous vegetable stew," he announced and put the bowl and some bread in front of me.

I smiled at him, too tired and too hungry to make some smartass comment, and I tasted it. It was good. Really, really good. "Mmm," I moaned as I ate. "This is soooo good."

He grinned. "Leftovers from last night. You need food in your belly. It'll help you sleep."

I chuckled. "Thanks, Dr. Jamieson."

He snorted. "If I’m a doctor, do I get scrubs like yours?"

I swallowed down my food and pulled at my shirt. "You like these, don’t you?"

"I'd like to take you out of them," he said with mischief in his eyes. "But you're too tired."

I took another spoonful of stew and nodded as I chewed and swallowed. "I want a shower."

"Now
that
I can help you with," he quipped, and I laughed.

He was quiet then, watching me devour his food. When I finished he was quick to offer me more, but I shook my head and patted my stomach. "I’m done, thank you. It was delicious."

He smiled again, took my plate and put it in the sink. "Come on, Doctor," he said and pulled me up from the table. "I’m wasting an opportunity to get you out of these scrubs."

I laughed tiredly, and he grinned all the way up the stairs. In the bathroom, he started the water and turned to face me. He eyed me appreciatively and hummed when he took my shirt off, then pulled on the cord at my waist, opening my pants, and they fell to the floor. I leaned on the bathroom counter to take my socks off and Trent took my face in his hands, pulling me up to kiss him. Softly, sweetly, his lips pressed to mine.

His thumbs scraped the scruff along my jaw. "Don’t shave," he told me, then rubbed his smooth cheek along my rough one, and he hummed again.

I stepped into the shower, and the hot streams flowed over my tired shoulders and down my back. Trent asked me about the two boys and how they were doing. I told him as I washed my hair. He didn't leave the bathroom, he stayed and talked to me. And as I talked to him through the shower screen, I realized I’d missed him.

He was keen not to be too far from me, and I wondered if he’d missed me too. It had only been a day and a night, but still…I didn’t dare mention it.

When I turned the water off, he handed me a towel. I stepped out onto the mat and dried my hair first, standing completely nude in front of him, and I wasn’t fazed at all. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted him to want me.

I dried off and wrapped the towel around me. I looked in the mirror and I saw the darkened circles under my eyes. Trent's hands were on my shoulders, he was standing behind me. He massaged my tired muscles, and I found myself leaning over with my hands on the counter, relishing in him manipulating the tight knots in my shoulders.

I looked up into the mirror, and he was watching us. The position we were in wasn't lost on me, so I leaned my ass back a little, meeting his groin.

"Fuck, Nathan," he hissed.

"Don’t tease me," I warned him playfully. "You know I want you to."

He pulled away from me, and I groaned.

"Nathan…" he started like he was about to say something important, but stopped. "You're too tired anyway," then he slapped my ass. "To bed with you."

He was right. I was tired. I was exhausted. I dragged myself into my room, threw the towel over the chair and fell into bed naked. I laid on my back, and I felt the bed dip with his weight. I was tired and already half asleep. My eyes were closed, but I told him, "Sorry for pressuring you about sex. Just that I want you to do that to me, don’t care if I’m not ready." I tried to open my eyes to see his face, but my eyelids wouldn't work. I tried not to mumble, "I'll stop asking you. It’s not fair that I make you feel like you have to say no all the time."

The last thing I remembered before sleep took me was the feel of his fingers on my cheek.

Chapter 17

I woke up stiff and sore from lying down too long. The alarm clock told me it was Four-thirty-six AM, and Trent was asleep beside me. I’d been asleep for close to ten hours.

I rolled onto my side and watched him sleep. I wondered what dreams he had, what might have been going through his head, and I wondered if he dreamt of me.

Because I dreamt of him.

I wondered what he thought of me, what he felt for me. I wondered what went on behind those carefully constructed walls.

I wondered if I’d ever know.

I noticed how his lips moved slightly, the purplish tint to his closed eyelids and his soft snores. I touched his face ever so gently. He was so peaceful, beautiful when he slept. I touched his neck, his shoulder, tracing my fingers lightly and barely there, and he mumbled something I couldn’t understand.

I smiled at him, even though he was sound asleep and couldn’t see me. He rolled over, and I slid my arm around his waist and snuggled against him. I just lay there, feeling his back against my chest, his wayward hair tickling my nose, the feel of him in my arms, that was until Bentley let me know it was time for breakfast.

Going for a run ironed out the kinks in my sore muscles, and by the time we got back, I felt good. I shared my breakfast, as I did every morning, with my grateful running buddy. I apologized to him for missing breakfast yesterday by means of an extra piece of toast.

"You're spoiling my dog," Trent said from behind me, his voice croaked from sleep.

I grinned at him and replied with my standard response to his gripe about me spoiling his dog. "He doesn't mind."

Trent snorted, and flipped the kettle on, and rubbed his eyes. He never woke up particularly well. I wanted to ask him how the house painting was going, but couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t want him to tell me it was nearly done. I didn’t know what that would mean…if it meant he was leaving.

I'd rather not know.

So I ran my hands over his shoulders, down his waist and across his stomach. I murmured into his neck, "I’m going to shower." Then I trailed my hands down over the elastic of his sleep pants and took the weight of his cock in my hand and whispered to him, "I don’t have to leave for forty minutes."

He followed me up the stairs, stripping as he went.

In the shower, I soaped us up and pushed the water nozzle away. Using the shower gel as a lube, we started with mutual hand jobs. I know what he likes. I pumped his shaft with one hand and played with his balls with my other hand. He groaned with his head back, as I worked him over.

His hands were on me, pumping me with equal fervor. He slid one hand up and down, squeezing the shaft and twisting his palm over the head of my cock as his other hand tweaked my nipples.

But he started to get lost in what I was doing to him. He leant his back against the wall and started thrusting his hips toward me. I stood with my feet between his and started to rub our cocks together. I took both our dicks into my hand, pumping us both at the same time.

He moaned deep and low, and continued to thrust. His cock slid against mine, silky and hot, and his head was back on the tiles, his eyes were closed. He moaned again, "Fuuuuuck, baby."

Strands of wet hair were stuck to his forehead, and his lips were red and parted. "You look so hot right now," I told him, and pumped our cocks harder.

Reaching with my other hand, I cupped his balls, and he groaned. When I used a finger to tease his hole, he somehow leaned up, encouraging me. So I did it. I slid the tip of my finger in his ass.

"Oh, fuck!" he cried. "Yes…Nathan."

So I pushed just a little farther, still pumping our cocks. His thighs were opened wide, and I was standing between his legs as he propped himself against the tiles. The deeper I pushed my finger, the deeper he moaned, and the more I got turned on.

I slid my finger in and out, pushing back in a little farther each time at the same pace I pumped him, me…us. I wanted to see him come like this, I wanted to feel it from inside him.

"Come for me, baby," I urged him. "I want to feel you come with my finger in your ass."

"Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck," he said. His body started to shake, and he was so close.

"Come on me, Trent."

And he thrust wildly, his cock in my hand, his ass onto my finger. His head pushed back, his hips pushed farther into me, his neck was corded and his teeth were clenched, and he came hard.

I felt his ass clench on my fingers, his cock throbbed, spilling his release as he groaned. I felt his hot come spurt from his dick in my hand, but I watched his face instead. He was so lost, he didn't feel my finger slide out of him. I used both hands to keep pumping us, milking every drop from him.

His pleasure gave me pleasure, watching him come, feeling him come, my cock rubbed against him, and my orgasm ripped through my body.

I exploded in my hand, onto him, streams of my come spurting thickly onto his stomach. He watched me come and his fingers quickly swiped at my release on his skin. Looking in my eyes, he brought his fingers to his mouth and lapped at my come with his tongue.

"Oh, fuck," I mumbled, my head falling back. My eyes closed, and my head spun, then I felt the water on me again.

Trent maneuvered the shower spray back over our heads, and the water fell over the both us. He rubbed his hands over my body, and I pulled his face to mine and kissed him.

I had no idea when the water went cold.

* * * *

The rest of the week was the same.

Trent was all fun and laughs. We couldn’t keep our hands, or mouths, off each other. We brought each other to orgasm a range of different ways, though he still wouldn’t penetrate me. He fucked me with his fingers, but wouldn’t fuck me with his cock. I tried not to pressure him, but it was difficult not to beg him for it when he had me so worked up. He looked torn, like he wanted to, soooo bad.

But he didn't.

He slept every night in my bed. He wore my scrub pants, claiming they were now his.

Work that week was great. Toby, the boy with the bruised spinal cord seemed to be recovering nicely. He still had spasms, but he had full feeling in both feet. Scott was expected to be transferred back to Belfast on Monday.

Adam and Lucas visited Toby every day. Adam seemed a little warmer to me since I told Dani to hug him. I think he understood it was my way of telling him I wasn’t interested in Dani's advances.

I only wished Dani understood that too.

She still blushed, stammered and stumbled when she spoke to me. And so help me God, when Trent stopped by for lunch on Friday, he walked in just when she was touching my arm and giggling.

His eyes were huge and bright as he grinned like the devil. He chuckled and winked at me when she wasn’t looking, and I kicked him in the shin. He played along, almost encouraging her. When I got home, he still thought it was funny.

I walked into the living room, and he burst out laughing when he saw me. "Leave the poor girl alone," I told him, sitting next to him on the sofa. "It’s not funny, Trent. I’m going to have to tell her."

"Tell her what?" he taunted.

"That I’m not fucking interested!" I threw my hands up. "Jeez, I try to be nice and diplomatic about it, but she just doesn't get it."

Trent laughed again. "It’s because she’s got diminished learning capabilities."

I hit him with a cushion, but I couldn’t help but laugh. "It wasn't very funny when it was Lucas who was flirting with me, was it?"