Leave a Candle Burning (37 page)

“Scottie, are you all right?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“I want you to know what was said, but I don’t want you to be horrified at the thought that I expect this of you.”

“That’s what I said to you,” Scottie said.

“But I wasn’t horrified because of what I was feeling. I was horrified at how you’d feel about his talking to me.” Dannan paused. “And I was right.”

Scottie felt helpless. How did she explain something of which she had no understanding? She wasn’t horrified by Dannan, not at all, but it was true that another marriage had never entered her mind.

Scottie was on the verge of trying to say just that to Dannan when Finn came their way, Corina in his wake.

“How is the hand?” he wished to know.

“Danna!” his daughter squealed as she ran to him.

The next few minutes were taken with conversation about Scottie’s hand and Dannan saying goodbye to Corina yet again. Scottie would spend the rest of the day talking to Dannan in her head, quite certain that she would never be able to share all she was thinking.

Sixteen

“We need to finish our conversation,” Dannan said to Scottie as soon as the service ended on Sunday morning and they had a moment together. Corina was at the end of the pew, standing near Alison, who was holding Jeffrey in her lap.

“I’ve been thinking the same thing, but I’m afraid I won’t know what to say.”

“I hope you’ll say whatever you want, whatever you’re feeling,” Dannan encouraged her.

Scottie nodded but had to look away to ask, “What happens next, Dannan?”

“What do you mean?”

Scottie couldn’t answer. This was the very thing she feared: his not understanding her when everything she was experiencing was so new, coupled with the fact that she had been a married woman such a short time ago.

“This I know,” Dannan said, feeling the room grow more empty as folks exited. He lowered his voice some. “We’re friends. We’ve been friends through all of this, and we’ll keep on in that way. If something else comes up, we’ll talk about it.”

The sigh that lifted Scottie’s chest was real. He had understood her enough to give her an answer she could live with.

“Thank you, Dannan. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.”

“Always.”

The word made Scottie smile. That smile did things to Dannan’s heart, even as he reminded himself that there were no promises here. This was new territory for Scottie. She might learn that she did not want to marry again. She also might not know anything about her feelings for a long time.

Corina appeared in their midst a moment later, and before Dannan picked her up, he thanked God for Iris Stafford and her job at the Peterson house. Without that woman’s connection to his daughter, his contact with Scottie would be very limited.

Even as he and Corina went on their way home, it was wonderful knowing that he might see Scottie the very next day.

Sunday noon found Jace, Maddie, and Valerie at the big house for dinner. They were the only family visiting on that day, and the conversation was sweet.

“What is the most challenging part of your faith in Christ?” Conner asked Jace.

“Probably remembering to be thankful. In those first few weeks and months, I was thankful with every thought and breath, but we’re finding it easy to take God for granted.”

“And if you had told us at the time we came to Christ,” Maddie put in, “that we would not be as excited a few months down the road, we would have argued with you. But we both can grow discontented if we don’t remember what we’ve learned from God’s Word.”

“It’s about the hard work,” Jace continued. “At first it’s so easy to praise God and be obedient. When time passes and the same is required, that’s when the first temptations to complain and be unthankful visit.”

“And if you don’t fight them,” Troy agreed, “they become all too commonplace.”

Valerie slept during their meal, and the afternoon turned into a long one. Not until the men went to the office to look at a book Troy had purchased did the women retire to the large parlor with the baby, giving them a chance to visit.

“Are you expecting?” Reese asked first.

“No,” Maddie answered with a sigh. “I was somewhat disappointed, but things are busy right now, and we’re all right with waiting. How are you feeling, Reese?”

“I’m feeling well,” Reese confirmed, holding Valerie in her arms. “A bit emotional at times, but not too tired.”

“How do you do in the heat?”

“Some days I get so little done. It can be frustrating.”

“How many more weeks to go?”

“About 12. It feels like a long time.”

“Well, you look great—your color and everything.”

Reese looked down at her very round stomach. She needed only one arm to hold the baby because she fit on the top of her stomach so well. Reese studied the baby’s face, still drowsy with sleep, and coaxed a small smile from her.

“Every time I see Val or Corina, I want a girl,” Reese told her guest.

“They’re fun little people.”

“Is Val five or six months?”

“Right in between,” Maddie answered. “I just remembered I wanted to see the baby’s room. Did you finish the wall?”

“I did.” Reese answered with pleasure and stood. “Come up and see it.”

To the women’s surprise, the men had beaten them to the room. Conner and Troy were showing the room and Reese’s wall mural to Jace. Both Randalls were sincere in their praise of Reese’s artistic abilities. Reese only smiled and thanked them quietly, but the pride she saw in Conner’s eyes made her heart swell with contentment.

Sunday had turned into Scottie’s day alone. Iris had not come on Sundays since Eli and Scottie were married, and although Finn took his meals with them and worked around the house and yard, he now lived in his own home on the green, so she didn’t see him on Sundays either.

Not until she had the house to herself did Scottie think about the fact that up until now, she had been rarely alone. This had never bothered her, and since Eli’s death, she was actually enjoying this day of solitude in her own home.

Today, however, was a bit different. Today she was getting ready to go into Eli’s room for the first time since she’d cleaned. Scottie was not sure she was altogether happy with her husband. It was too late to speak to him in person, but she thought she might feel closer to him if she went into his room. And in her hurting mind, she thought that feeling closer to him might help her to accept that he’d felt a need to talk to Dannan.

She had so many questions for Eli Peterson. What had his view of her really been? Had he thought her helpless? Had she not known him as well as she thought?

Without warning, Scottie realized how much Eli had been able to control from his bed. It wasn’t a bad thing—after all, he had rental properties to manage. But Scottie suddenly realized that the entire household had revolved around him. He was her husband. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be? And he couldn’t have survived without Finn, so Finn’s life had to revolve around Eli. And what would they have all done without Iris?

Without even realizing it, Scottie had made her way to Eli’s room. She stood by the bed, tears pouring down her face, trying not to feel so lost.

“Maybe you were right,” she whispered to him. “Maybe I do need a keeper, but you’ve made me feel a little bit defective, Eli. You’ve made me feel as though the only way someone would want me is if you asked him to marry me.”

More tears found their way down Scottie’s face, but she felt better. Voicing those thoughts actually lifted some of the load. She did not have to have Eli physically present to know he would say that was the last thing he intended, but Scottie wasn’t sure if it still might be a bit true. Another marriage had not been on her mind and probably wouldn’t have been if not for Dannan’s words.

“I’m Your child, Lord,” she said, still speaking out loud and to the one Person she needed to talk to most. “I have value in You. Right now I feel bruised and discarded. I know Eli would never have deliberately hurt me, but he has hurt me. You had a plan here. Maybe Dannan shouldn’t have spoken, but he did, and I must trust that You’re still in control.”

Thinking about Dannan caused fresh tears. He had said he was drawn to her, but Scottie didn’t really know what that meant right now. She was desperate to talk to someone about it, but just thinking of asking Dannan made her blush.

Reese came to mind without warning. Since she was married earlier this year, she might well remember what her courtship looked like.

Scottie suddenly stopped.
Is Dannan courting me?
The word had never come to mind before, and for some reason it put a new face on all of this. There was so much they didn’t know about each other.
But isn’t that what courtship is about? Finding out about each other?

Scottie suddenly shook her head and moved toward the door. She had to get out of that room, and she had to stop thinking about Dannan and Eli. She would find time tomorrow to go and see Reese, but for the moment she would go on a walk and try to empty her mind of questions she could not answer.

“Danna, where’s Mama?”

Dannan stopped what he was doing at the dining table in the parlor and looked down at the little girl at his knee.

“Do you remember what I told you about your mama?”

“She died. Papa too.”

Dannan could only nod.