Left Behind (7 page)

I went to the kitchen to grab another Red Bull and sat at the breakfast nook.
I didn’t realize I was crying until Jordan had come in for breakfast.

“Hey, Sis.
Do you need me to help with breakfast?” He asked, but as soon as he saw my face, he came, sat beside me, and pulled me into a hug. “Are you ok ay ?”

I nodded and signed.
‘
Yes. I was just thinking about Daddy.’

“Want to talk about it?” He said as he got up to put a pot of coffee on.

I got up to get breakfast on, he would burn water if he tried, and just waited to finish breakfast before I could really get into a conversation with him. That’s one of the things I hate the most , having to put off conversations. It’s so inconvenient when you can only talk to people when they are looking at you, which is why Jordan made me the voice keyboard. That thought gave me an idea.

By the time breakfast was done, James and Shelby had joined us.

“About Dad…” Jordan said looking at me, trying
to
continue the conversation that was started before I was cooking.

‘
Hearing about Tory just got me thinking about Dad.
I don’t want to go through that again. No more death. I’m goi ng to help as much as possible.’
I told him.

“Will you really travel all that way to see him?” James asked.

I shook my head.
‘
I’m having Toby transfer him here so he’ll be with all of his family and friends in familiar surroundings.
I’m hoping he’ll wake up then.’

James looked at Jordan, both with confused looks on their face. “But, there’s not a VA Hospital around here or they would have already brought him.” Jordan said.

‘
I’m paying to have him brought to his house. He’ll have home care there.’

“Toby’s letting you pay for this?” Jordan said disbelieving.

‘
I gave some very good arguments for it and he finally conceded. I think he really wants him here as much as I do.
Can you add all three trips to my main account, J? That way Toby and Troy have the access t he y need and do n’t have to go through one of us each time.’

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Sissy. Home healthcare is very expensive. And do you really want so many people to have access to your account? Things can get confused. I don’t want you to lose everything.” James voiced his concern.

I got angry at that.
‘
Do you really th ink that they’d take advantage?’
I signed heatedly.
‘
You’ve known them as long as I have. Do y ou really think they’d do that?
To me of all people?
’

“I didn’t mean it that way, Sissy. I know they wouldn’t just take from you. What I meant was that with so many different people, there will be different charges everywhere. If you don’t get all invoices and receipts, it can mess up your account.”

I slapped the table hard enough to sting my hand. Did he really think I was stupid? I was furious at this point.

‘
I went to school for my business degree with a minor in accounting. I may have not finished it all, but I know enough. I’m good at it and I did it for you and Jordan.
I will get my degree eventually, but I think I know enough to be able to handle my own finances.’
I stood up and stomped to my bedroom, slamming the door.

I was pacing back and forth, fuming.
I know my brothers love me, but they treat me like a kid on important stuff like this. I’m eleven months older than James, how dare he treat me like I’m stupid. We were always in the same grade in school because my birthday was past the cut off for the start of school, so I had to wait a year and go with him. It never bothered me. We did everything together anyway , but we always made the same grades.

There was a knock at the door before it opened for Jordan’s head to stick through. “Can I come in?” He asked.

I nodded and sat down, and he came and sat on my bed beside me. “You know he didn’t mean anything by that, don’t you?”

‘
That’s what makes it so bad, J. Both of you make comments like that, not really thinking about what it means that you think you need to ask questions like that . Maybe it’s sub-consciously, but you both obvious ly think I can’t handle myself.’

He thought about it for a minute and looked down, realizing I was right.

“I’m sorry; I’ve never really seen it like that. I see what you’re saying, and I promise to try to do better.
I’m sure James will too, if you talk to him about it.”

‘
I will. I’m sorry I blew up, and I’ll go apologize to James too, but can I ask y ou to work on something for me?’
I asked.

“You know I’ll do whatever I can for you. No need to ask, just tell me.”

‘
Do you have anything that has a recording of my voice on it you could mimic? I was going to see if you could make the voice of my keyboard sound like mine used to .’
I signed, thinking of the idea I had earlier.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I was looking at some of our home videos a couple of days ago. I’m sure I could copy it off of that.” He tilted his head to the side, trying to figure me out without having to ask, but was unable to. A smile spread on my face, knowing he wouldn’t be able to let the question go. He sighed, letting curiosity get the better of him. “You know what I’m going to ask.”

‘
I was trying to see if you could
let it go with not knowing the reason.’
I signed, laughing silently.
‘
I want Tory to be able to hear my voice while he’s in a coma. I’m hoping that between me and his brothers, we’ll be able to bring him out of it.’

Jordan nodded his head in understanding, got up, and held his hand out to help me up from the bed. I got up and followed him back into the kitchen to make peace with James. I love my brothers too much to hold grudges. Life is definitely too short.

It was
just before
lunchtime the same day, and Toby had made his way back over to my house. We , along with Jordan, were making a list of supplies, equipment, and furniture needed to bring Tory home. Toby had been watching me closely and I was getting uncomfortable with him staring at me.

“
You look worn out, Pea. Why don’t you go get some rest while we get this organized?” He said. “Troy will be coming in on the two o’clock flight, and I’ll be heading out.
I’ll come back with Tory when he’s ready for transfer.”

‘
No, I don’t sleep unless I can’t help it, and I want
to be with you until you leave.’
I signed. I knew I didn’t really explain to him my need to stay awake, so I knew the questions and lecture would be coming.

He must have seen some kind of expression on my face because he laughed and took my hand in his. “No, I’m not going to lecture you, but we will be talking as soon as Jordan and I get done ordering the deliveries for this stuff.”
He then let go of my hand and pulled up the list of local medical supply marts to call to start the ordering.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I trusted Toby, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I was ashamed. If I had waited for my boys to get home before I started dating, I would have had some back up here , and none of the bad things would have happened . I would never be able to date any of them because I couldn’t choose between them. I loved them each for different reasons, and I knew that they loved me too, but I would never want to come between them.

With Jordan on his laptop and Toby on the phone, I didn’t want to disturb them, so I typed on the keyboard that I was going for a walk. I knew Toby would come find me when he got done.

I headed to the fridge first to get a Red Bull, and then I headed out the kitchen door to the back deck. I was so tired. I hadn’t really slept for four days, and I knew I was about to crash. I gulped down the energy drink, made sure my phone was in my back pocket, and started walking. I made it to the creek in no time, but I knew if I stopped, I would fall out, and I didn’t want that. I texted Toby and Jordan to let them know I was going to the loft on the ranch. I wanted to be alone for a while, and if I was going to dream, I didn’t want them to see me. James had told me I scared him when I slept because it was like I was living through it again and he couldn’t wake me up. I didn’t want anyone to witness my humiliation.

I got to the old barn where the boys stored the old equipment they didn’t use anymore. They had redone the hay loft into a game room with both an overstuffed couch and a chair. We used to hang out here on rainy days and play air hockey or shoot pool once they showed me how to play .
I went over to the couch and lay down, finally giving in to the fatigue.
I was asleep as soon as my head hit the cushion.

***********************************************************************

I was sneaking around trying to find my way outside. This place was a maze. I was in an old house where everything in it was thick with dust and mold. The smell alone was making me sick. I went down hallway after hallway and still no door leading outside. I went in one of the rooms to see if I could climb out of the window, but when I looked, I was about two stories up.
“Damn.” I whispered.
This had to be a mansion. I left the room, being as quiet as I could. I didn’t want Blain to wake up. He had unlocked my chains today telling me my training was over. He bragged about how he’d “
told ”
me how perfect we were together and proved he had been right .
He still wouldn’t let me leave the ‘play room’, but he brought up a steak dinner and left me loose during the night.

As soon as he’d told me he trusted me without the chains, I started planning this. I’d asked for some pain relievers and instead of the injection, he gave me two tablets. I thought I had made a mistake in asking for that because I fell asleep soon afterward. I woke up and Blain was spooned up against my back naked. I waited, being as relaxed and still as I could, and finally he turned onto his back, leaving me free to get up. My body, with all its cuts and bruises, was still hurting, but not as bad as it was before. If I just could get out, I could get to the hospital and let them call the police.

As I was making my way down the stairs I had come upon, I heard a creaking noise behind me. Before I was able to look back, I felt hands push me. The staircase turned, luckily, or I would have gone all the way down, but I still hurt too bad to move. My head was spinning. When I looked up, Blain was coming. He picked me up, and I could see how furious he was by the crazy glint in his eyes.

“Looks like the training isn’t finished.” He sounded happy. I was really scared. He was going to kill me. I couldn’t take much more of this.

He took me back to the play room, stripped me bare, and strapped me onto the St. Andrews cross, facing the wall.

“Now,
Pet, what did you do wrong?” H
e asked me softly.

I was s
till reeling from the fall, and didn’t register that he’d asked a question until he hit me, using a wooden paddle, with all his might. He hit me twice on my butt, and then he moved down to my legs. It felt like he would break them. He was probably trying to make where I couldn’t walk.

“Now, I’ll ask only once more. What are you being punished for?”

I was having trouble breathing
, and my throat was hurting from screaming, but I tried to answer anyway. “I…got up…w-without…permission.”

“THAT…WAS…NOT…ALL!” H
e shouted, hitting me with each word. On the last word, the paddle broke, scraping me with the broken end.

I heard him pacing behind me, taking deep breaths to try to calm down. “What else did you do, Pet.” He asked softly, his voice back to normal.

I didn’t know if it would be better to admit to trying to leave, or to lie. I was betting on the latter. Maybe if I stuck to the lie, he’d start to doubt himself.

“I-I w-was trying t-to get my own f-food. I-I w-was hungry.” I stuttered in my scratchy voice.

He didn’t say anything. I heard him move off, probably to armoire that held all of his toys. “Really,” He said. “Because I was following you.”

My heart stopped. I knew this was going to be bad.

“I had trusted you, but I knew you didn’t know your way around, so I followed.” I heard him getting closer, and I wondered what he’d picked from the toys. “I thought it was funny, and I was going to step up and help, until I saw you go to the window.” He continued. “
When you swore at the sight, I realized you were trying to leave. I still gave you the benefit of the doubt. I followed until you passed the kitchenette and started down the stairs.” He came to stand beside me so I could see him. I saw the flogger in his hand and started crying .
“Now, I am sorry for being childish and pushing you, but I was just devastated that you would try to leave me.” He brushed the hair off my cheek, and placed it behind my ear ; being so tender. “I might have done something I shouldn’t have with that, but that doesn’t change your punishment. You have to learn to obey me in all things, Pet. That is the only thing that will keep you safe.”