Authors: Donna Hill
Z
oe's days were filled but she was making progress. She'd completed three new grants, which she was confident that the museum would receive, and she'd begun selecting new inventory, using many of her contacts and connections that she'd established over the years. Several of the shipments had arrived.
They'd been in New York for more than two months and she couldn't believe how quickly the time had passed. In a matter of weeks the new exhibit would be mounted and she would finally be able to go home.
Whatever trepidations she'd had about “living” with Jackson were gone. She looked forward to each day waking up with him and coming home to him
at night. She'd even begun thinking about a real future with him.
As the weather in New York grew warmer, they visited many of the city's hot spots, from the Blue Note in the Village where they listened to live jazz, the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State building to boat rides on the Hudson at Chelsea Piers.
They found local restaurants that became their favorites and they'd become experts at ordering in from the innumerable restaurants that delivered.
And at night they found each other and made slow and passionate love that bound them even more closely together. The last thing she expected in their oasis of bliss was the proposition that had the potential to change everything.
She was in her small, cramped office going over the inventory list when she got a call from Eric Lang.
“Chairman Lang. How are you?”
“I'm well. And from what I've been hearing you have done a magnificent job.”
“Thank you. What can I do for you?”
“I'm calling because I've been in discussions with the administration and the board at the Guggenheim.”
She sat up straighter in her seat. “Yes.” She put down her pen.
He cleared his throat. “The Board at the Guggenheim want to make you an offer.”
“An offer. What kind of offer?”
“To oversee the collection in all the divisions.”
The air stopped in her chest. “What?”
“They want someone with your expertise, not only in African American art but in funding streams as well, and your knowledge of the other divisions.”
Zoe was stunned into silence.
“I know this is a big decision, Ms. Beaumont. I don't expect you to give me an answer right now. The Guggenheim Board is putting together an offerâa very substantial offer.”
Her thoughts were on scramble. “What about my job at the High?”
“Mike is doing a wonderful job. He's taken on his new responsibilities and we are all very pleased. We have you to thank,” he added as if that would somehow soften the blow.
“Are you saying that my job is gone?”
“Wellâ¦we are considering making some changes.”
“Changes.” She couldn't breathe. Her face felt hot.
“I do hope that you will think about this. An offer like this one should not be taken lightly. It's not been done before. You should feel immensely proud. We'll talk soon.”
Zoe sat there, numb with the phone still in her hand until the buzzing dial tone snapped her back to her new reality.
Finally she hung up the phone, got her purse and checked out for the day. She didn't call Jackson.
He'd told her that morning that he was going to hang out in the village and maybe do some shopping for Michelle and Shay. They'd planned to meet back at the condo that evening.
Zoe strolled the streets of the city and found that the sights and sounds that had excited her when she'd arrived now assaulted her senses. The car horns were louder. The people seemed to have multiplied. The overabundance and excess of everything overwhelmed her.
She wandered into a small eatery and was shown a table in the back. For more than an hour she played with the burger she ordered and nursed a Diet Coke.
She'd built her career at the High. She'd turned it around. For nearly a dozen years, Atlanta had been home for her. And nowâ¦
She should be elated. It was true that this was an opportunity beyond anything she could have imagined. But how could she live in New York with a dream job and not have Jackson to come home to?
Her insides felt as if they were splitting. What was she going to do?
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When she got back to the condo, Jackson was already there. She wasn't ready to talk to him about this and knowing him and what he wanted for her, he would tell her to go for it. And that's not what she wanted to hear.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hey.” She put on her best face and crossed the
room to where he was on the couch. She plopped down beside him and rested her head on his chest.
“Tired?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Well, another week and we'll be back home and hopefully you won't have to work so hard.”
“Yeah.” She drew in a long slow breath. “I'm going to take a shower.”
“I fixed dinner. Thought we could stay in tonight. Relax.”
“Sure.”
He watched her walk away, and as much as she'd tried to hide it he saw the trouble in her eyes. She'd talk when she was ready. She always did. He'd give her the space to do that.
In the months that they'd been together he grew to understand the nuances that made Zoe Beaumont so incredible. She was a confluence of complexity, but she was loving and caring and passionate about her work and her family. She was funny and smart and carried the scars of her past deep inside. He hoped with time that he could help her heal some of them. If she would let him.
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Zoe stared into the darkness, unable to sleep. Her thoughts wouldn't stay still. She wanted to talk with Jackson about what had happened, that if she went back to Atlanta, she wouldn't have a job and if she stayed in New York she would have the job of a lifetime.
At first coming to New York had been an obstacle because of Jackson. But when she'd finally told him, he'd made it all okay and here they wereâtogether. But how could he make this okay? Would he pick up and come to New York, leave his job, his career? She couldn't ask him to do that. She wouldn't.
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Their last week in New York was a flurry of activity for Zoe. The show was mounted, the brochures printed, the opening scheduled and the offer on her desk.
They wanted her decision, preferably before she returned to Atlanta. She hadn't decided what she was going to do but what she had decided was that she was going home, celebrate her birthday with her family, talk with her grandmother and find out what her mother had been hiding from her for thirty years.
“O
ne of the best getaways I've had,” Jackson said as he walked with Zoe to her door.
“Me, too. I'm glad you came with me. Really.” She dug inside of her purse for her key.
“Me, too,” he said before stealing a quick kiss.
She opened the door and Jackson brought her bags inside.
Zoe turned on the lights and looked around, realizing with a pang just how much she'd missed her house. “It's good to be back,” she said on a breath.
“And as much as I'd love to rechristen your bedroom I need to get going. The meter is running on the cab.”
She walked up to him and scooped her arms around his waist. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He looked down into her eyes, hoping to find the answers that were just out of reach.
“For being you. For being wonderful. For putting up with me. I know I haven't been easy these past couple of weeks. It's just beenâ”
“Hey,” he said gently, cupping her chin. “I love you. Don't you believe that by now? And I'm there for you.” He pulled her close and held her, feeling her heart pound against his chest.
The cab driver honked the horn.
“You'd better go before he makes off with your bags for payment.”
“I'll call you in the morning. Get some rest.”
She nodded, walked with him to the door and slowly closed it behind him.
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Sharlene set her glass down on the coffee table in Zoe's living room. “What do you mean you don't have a job?”
“I either take the job in New York or I'm unemployed.”
“Can they do that?”
“Apparently.” She curled her legs beneath her on the couch.
“I don't get it. They gave you no indication that helping them out in New York was going to lead to this. So what are you going to do?”
“I don't know. That's what I've been battling with for the past couple of weeks.”
“Have you talked it over with Jackson?”
“No.”
“Why not, Zoe? Maybe he could help you figure it out.”
“He can't help me and I already know what he's going to say.”
“What is he going to say?”
She sighed. “He's going to tell me to take it. He's going to tell me that it's the chance of a lifetime. I'd be the first African American woman in that position. He'd tell me all of that.”
“And⦔
“It's not what I want to hear.”
“Well, what do you expect him to say, Zoe? âGive up your career and stay here with me, baby, I'll take care of you'?”
“Yes! I mean, no. I don't know what I mean.”
“Zoe, give the man a chance. Be honest with him. Who knows, he may want to come to New York, teach at one of the colleges there. You won't know if you don't talk to him.”
“I wouldn't do that to him. I wouldn't put him in that kind of position.”
“So what are you going to do then? Pretend to go to work every day? How long do you think you can pull that off?”
She pressed her fist to her mouth. “I'm going to take the job in New York.”
Sharlene jerked back in surprise. “You are?”
“What choice do I have? It's what I do. It's what I know.”
“And you can't hide behind your job forever.” She got up from the couch. “He deserves to know how you feel.”
Zoe looked up at her friend.
“Tell the man how you feel. Tell him what's in that heart of yours. For once. Say what's in your heart.” She walked barefoot toward the kitchen. “I think you'll be surprised.”
She rested her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes.
There will come a time when you will have to make a choice
. She heard her Nana's words ring in her head.
But which choice should I make Nana? Which choice should I make?
“Ready?” Sharlene asked.
Zoe opened her eyes.
Sharlene had her purse in her hand and her sunglasses on. “Come on, girl, we have some birthday shopping to do. You're going to be the big 3-0 in less than a week. You have to be sharp.”
Zoe pulled herself up.
“Shopping always soothes my soul,” she said, giving her a quick squeeze. “Put your shoes on and let's go.”
“All right, all right. But I have plenty of clothes in my closet that I can wear.”
“Nothing suitable for your big day. And I think it's going to be really special.”
“Is that right? And what do you know that I don't know?” she asked, sticking her feet in her sandals.
“You're the one who always feels something. You tell me,” she teased. “Come on, the stores are waiting.”
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They roamed the stores for hours. Zoe couldn't seem to find anything she liked and they had seen at least fifty dresses by Sharlene's last count.
“Girl, there has to be something that you like. Since when did you get so particular?” Sharlene pushed some dresses aside on the rack hoping to find something that would spark some interest. “How about this one?” She held up a spaghetti-strapped midnight-blue fitted dress that felt like silk to the touch and shimmered when it moved. “This is perfect. Slightly sexy and elegant at the same time.”
Zoe looked at the dress then took it from Sharlene. She walked to a mirror and held it up in front of her. She turned right and then left to get the full effect. She spun toward Sharlene with a big smile on her face. “This is the one. It's perfect. I love it.”
“Finally.” Sharlene sighed. “Damn, this is the last time I'm going shopping with you for a big occasion.”
“No, its not,” she said with a grin.
“You're probably right.”
They laughed and headed for the cashier.
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“My mother said she was going to tell me about my father,” Zoe blurted out while they walked back to Sharlene's car.
Sharlene slowed. “Say what?”
Zoe nodded. “We had a rather nasty conversation before I left for New York.”
She went on to tell her how she'd blown up at her mother when she'd insinuated that it wasn't proper for her to be “staying” with a man that wasn't her husband. And what her response had been.
“Whoa. No wonder you've been so out of sorts. Between carrying that around, the situation with your job and keeping it all from Jackson⦠You're carrying around too many secrets, girl. You need to set some of those burdens down.”
“I know. It's making me nuts.” She pushed out a breath. “All my life I've wondered about my father. Was he dead or alive? Did I pass him in the street? Did he even know about me? You know what it says on my birth certificate for father?”
Sharlene shook her head no.
“It's blank. Do you have any idea what that feels like to look at that empty space?”
“I can only imagine, sis.” She hooked her arm through Zoe's. “But the time seems to have come for a lot of changes in your life.”
“It sure looks that way.”
C
lasses hadn't started yet but the professors had returned to campus for the prerequisite meetings and submission of lesson plans. Jackson was feeling good about the upcoming semester and was eager to get back in the saddle. That mess with the letter seemed to be a done deal, so that was one less thing he had to worry about. But what he was really looking forward to was heading back home to New Orleans and Zoe's birthday party.
She hadn't quite been herself since they'd returned from New York and he was hoping that being back with her family would lift her spirits. He'd been looking for the perfect gift and actually found it in New York. The real test of their relationship would come when he gave it to her.
“You sure it's cool for me to come to Zoe's party?” Levi asked him as they exited the building. “I mean it might just be a family thing.”
“You're seeing my sister, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then that should answer your question.” He slapped him on the back. “Of course it's cool. Zoe told me to make sure that you came. And I know Michelle wants you there.”
Levi grinned. “I know it's only been a minute since we've known each other but that woman makes me happy.”
“She's a good woman. And I'm not just saying that because she's my sister.”
“I know. We're taking it slow. I don't want to be a rebound, know what I mean?”
“Yeah.”
“She's filing for divorce.”
“She told me.” He glanced at Levi.
“It's still going to take her a while to get over things. But once that's done, then we can really decide how we're going to move forward.”
“Like you said, take it slow.”
“Yeah,” he said thoughtfully.
“Did you make your reservations for the hotel?”
“Taking care of that today, for sure.”
They crossed the grounds to the parking lot.
“So what did you get Zoe for her birthday?”
Jackson grinned. “Secret.”
“From me?”
“Yeah, from you. I don't want it to slip out. And from what my sister says, we talk about everything,” he said in a bad falsetto. “And Michelle can't keep a secret, period. I tell you, you tell her and she spills the beans to Zoe.”
“Damn, man, it's like that. I thought I was your boy.”
“You are and I want to keep it that way.”
“That's cold. But just so you know, Michelle has been working on something that she plans to surprise
you
with.”
“Oh, yeah. What?”
“I ain't telling.” He chuckled and unlocked his car door. “See you later, man.”
Jackson shook his head in amusement and walked toward his car. Just as he was about to get in he heard his name being called. He looked out across the rows of cars and saw a woman coming toward him. As she drew closer his stomach clenched.
“Professor Treme, can I speak with you a moment. Please?”
“Sure, Victoria, what is it?”
“I know the last time we spoke I left so much up in the air. I shouldn't have. I should have been up front and told you everything.”
“I'm listening.”
“Carla is my half sister.”
“What? She never told me she had a half sister.”
She lowered her head for a moment. “She wouldn't. I was the big family secret. Daddy's
indiscretion. She was the one who put me up to it. She was paying for me to go to grad school, saying it was her way of making up to me for how I'd been treated by the family. She said she would keep paying under the condition that I send those letters to the school.”
“Letters? There's more?”
She dug into her knapsack and pulled out about a dozen letters wrapped in a rubber band. “I told her I sent them, but after the first one, I couldn't do it.” She handed them to him. “I found out what she did. All of it.”
Jackson looked at the stack of letters then at Victoria. “Thank you. You gave up a lot. Why?”
“I can find a way to finish school. This isn't the way. I may be the family secret but my mother didn't raise me like that. I'm sorry, professor. I really am.”
Jackson was speechless.
Victoria turned to leave.
“Wait.”
She glanced over her shoulder.
“Come to my office next week. There's still some scholarship money available. I'll work it out, talk to the finance department. You can't give up on your education.”
Her eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
“Thank you, thank you so much.”
“Next week. I have the same office hours.”
“I'll be there.”
Jackson mechanically got into his car. Carla. All this time it was her. He tossed the letters onto the passenger seat. The first chance he got he was going to burn them.
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After dinner, Zoe and Jackson worked side by side in her kitchen putting away food and loading the dishwasher.
“I still can't get over that Carla would go to such lengths to get back at you.”
“I never would have never imagined in a million years that she was capable of the things she's done.” He put away the plastic container with the leftover jerk chicken.
Zoe leaned against the sink, wiping her hands on the dish towel. She angled her head to the side. “I'm proud of you for what you're going to do for Victoria.”
“She didn't have to tell me anything. Worst, she could have gone along with Carla. I don't even want to think about what could have happened if she did.”
Zoe squeezed his shoulder. “You did the right thing.”
Jackson turned out the kitchen light and followed Zoe into the living room. This whole routine, this thing that they were doing seemed so easy and so right, he thought. They had a rhythm with each other. There were no rules and verbal expectations, they just instinctively knew what the other wanted
and needed. When he was with Zoe he was at peace and all the rest of the world took a backseat. He knew now more than ever that all of the signs, the dreams and the decisions that led him to change the course of his life were all the right ones. It led him to Zoe.
She rested her head in his lap while the news played in the background. This felt good, she thought. For the first time in her life she'd let a man get this close to her, get into her life on more than just the surface. And it wasn't as scary anymore. If anything she wanted more of it. And that was where things swerved so totally off course. She couldn't have it both ways. She couldn't have the career-changing job and the man of her dreams. And that realization was slowly breaking her heart.
“You ready for your big day?” he asked softly.
She adjusted her position. “Pretty much.”
“I'm really looking forward to meeting your family. Especially your grandmother.”
“I've been telling her about you, ya know.” She turned onto her back so that she could look at him.
“Good things, I hope, and not the parts about my bad singing in the shower.”
She laughed. “No, trust me, my lips are permanently sealed on that one.”
“Am I really that bad?” he asked looking wounded.
She reached up and tenderly stroked his cheek. “Yes.”
Jackson tossed his head back and laughed. “I'll try to keep it to a low hum from here on out.” His eyes moved over her face and the smile that was on hers, the light that was in her eyes, filled him. He loved her. From the bottom of his soul he loved this woman. She had yet to say she felt the same way. And even as a part of him believed that she felt the same way and just as strongly, there was the voice of doubt that still wouldn't let go.
“Levi, Michelle and Shay are going to drive down tomorrow evening. They're going to stay in the hotel.”
“There's plenty of space at the house. I told Michelle she was welcome. Sharlene is staying and she's bringing Ray. They're going to drive down tomorrow.”
“How big is this little house of yours?”
“From the road, it looks pretty standard, but the house runs all the way back to the end of the property line, stopping just before the lake. There are eight bedrooms and three full baths. And there are two guest houses on the property. They used to be slave quarters, from what my family told me. The same house that my great-great-grandmother was enslaved on.”
“A lot of history there.”
Yes there was, she thought. Yes, there was.