Legacy of the Mist Clans Box Set (99 page)

“Do what? Stand for myself when the fault isna mine?”

“Nay!” she cried, a new surge of tears streaming down her face. “Do ye no’ ever understand anything I say? Why do ye always leave us like this?”

“Ye ken perfectly well why. Our laird tasked me with a duty
, and I earn good coin doing it. I dinna wish tae leave ye, but I dinna have a choice.”

“Why is it always ye?”

“He trusts me, Ina. He kens I’ll get the job done and done right.”

“This isn’t a horseshoe in yer forge, Connell. What can ye do on this task that others canna?”

Connell winced against the backhanded insult. He wondered if she even realized she had uttered it or if she had intentionally obfuscated it with her wording. Judging by the anger he sensed within her, it was intentional.

“It doesna matter,” he said bitterly. “Ye’ve already decided I canna do anything worthwhile. ’Tis amazing that ye wish me tae stay. Ye should be begging the MacGrigor tae send me away and ne’er let me return.”

“I should,” she snapped. “Ye care nothing for William and I.”

“Ina,” he said
, aghast. “Ye canna truly believe that. I love ye both.”

“If ye loved us, ye wouldna leave us.”

“I have a duty tae my laird and tae my clan. I canna ignore it.”

She screamed in outrage, pacing the floor. “Yer duty be damned! That’s all ye care about, Connell MacGrigor, that’s all ye ever will care about.”

“Why can ye no’ understand? I have a duty, aye, but just because I am no’ here doesna mean that I stop loving ye.”

Their shouting awakened William, and he wailed with such power he caused both of them to fall silent and stare at the cradle. Connell grimaced because he knew what was coming next. This time, he tried something different that would hopefully forestall his vindictive wife and stop her from throwing things at him. He strode quickly to the cradle, lifting William into his arms and soothing him just as he had done when Ina was so ill after giving birth to him. Connell had devoted himself to tending both for almost two months while Ina recovered.

Ina was also moving for the cradle, but when she saw Connell pick up William, she stopped short, her eyes wide and her face rapidly losing color. “Oh nay,” she whispered, the anger she had displayed a moment ago vanished in an instant, replaced by true terror. “Please, Connell, nay.”

“What be this?” he asked in confusion.

“Dinna take him from me, please!” She rapidly moved beyond terror and toward complete panic. Connell had never seen anything like this from her before.

“Ina, peace. I just—”

“Please! Give him tae
me! Please!”

“Ina—”

“You canna take him from me, Connell, please!”

“I willna take him from ye.” His concern rapidly grew into worry. He knew the only way to calm her was to hand William over, but he didn’t know if he should do so while she was in such a state.

“Nay! Connell, give him back!”

“Ina,” he barked sharply. “Calm yerself and I will.”

She blinked at him, huge tears streaming down her cheeks. She swallowed hard and her limbs trembled, but she visibly tried to master herself. “Please, give him back tae me.”

Vowing he would snatch the bairn away from her in an instant if she did anything foolish, Connell carefully placed William in her arms.

Her tears continued to stream down her cheeks, but she smiled at William and spoke softly to him, just as a caring mother should. One heartbeat passed, then another. Connell watched her uncoil as she talked to the bairn, and he too slowly relaxed.

Ina carried William toward the bed and gently placed him in the center of it, still speaking softly.

“Ina, what vexed ye so?”

In an instant, the caring mother vanished. Ina spun, her hand closing on a small vase on the bedside table. Before Connell could blink, the vase launched straight for his head.

He ducked just in time, and the vase sailed over his head and smashed into the wall. Ina screamed in pure fury. “Never! Never again!”

“Ina?”

“Never threaten me like that—
”

“Threaten ye? I didna do anything of the sort.”

“I will ne’er let ye take him from me. He is my son!”

“He is my son too,” Connell growled. William was wailing again, and Connell had had just about enough of this foolishness. He feared for William. He didn’t know what was wrong, but this was not the Ina he had married. She had never acted this erratically before—perhaps emotional and overdramatic at times, but she had never displayed behavior such as this.

She stepped forward again. His desk was only a pace away with plenty of items for her to throw at him. His heart stalled in his chest as his gaze stopped on one of his daggers. Surely she wouldn’t . . .

Her hand closed on it. She was so angry she didn’t realize what it was she held.

Connell instantly retreated toward the door. He could disarm her, but after what just happened with William . . . damnation! What was he supposed to do?

“Go, Connell! Just leave us alone.” She raised her hand.

“Ina, nay!” He reached for the door latch
.

Ina let fly. She was bloody accurate too. Connell’s eyes widened with horror. He jerked his head back, and the dagger buried itself into the wood of the door, where it quivered slightly. That was too bloody close.

“Ina! Cease!” He quickly jerked the dagger from the door and put it into the sheath on his belt. But his thoughts spun. What had she become?

Nay! She was his wife. He loved her and she loved him. She was just so enraged right now, that was all . . . she hadn’t realized . . . she hadn’t meant to . . . surely . . .

“Just go! Damn ye! Go!” She picked up a large ceramic mug.

Connell snarled a curse, yanked open the door, and slammed it behind him just as he heard the mug shatter against it.

He kept his hand on the door so Ina wouldn’t be able to open it. He bowed his head and sucked in rapid breaths, trying to control his temper, but what was worse was the horror growing with him. Had she just tried to kill him? Nay, this was his fault. He had pushed her to this. When she
had forbidden him from tending to William, he couldn’t bear it and had returned to his laird. Ina was fully recovered and no longer needed him. He was free to return to his duties.

“Just leave now!” Something else smashed against the door.

And when he had told her he was to leave again, this had been the result.

Connell’s temper vanished as he looked at the wood separating himself from his family. Sorrow rose so powerfully it almost choked him. “Ina,” he called, his voice suddenly shaking. “Forgive me.”

“Go away!”

His shoulders bowed, Connell turned away from the door. He was losing them. No matter how hard he tried to hold on to them, they slipped away like sand through his fingers. He hesitated and looked back at the door again. “I love ye.”

Her enraged screech lifted the hairs on the back of his neck. What was happening? She had never acted like this before. She had thrown a variety of things at him, but never anything like a dagger. Something slammed into the door so hard it lurched in its frame. Every instinct he possessed demanded that he remain,
but at that moment, he knew it was all for naught. Slowly, Connell turned and walked away, vanishing into the darkness, the sound of Ina’s screams and sobs trailing after him.

HHH

Mairi lay on the bed next to Connell watching his eyes move rapidly under his closed lids. He stirred slightly, mumbling and turning his head, but she couldn’t understand him, and the movement wasn’t violent. He still held Adam in his arms. If he grew too unruly in his dream, she would take the bairn from him, but he had pleaded with her so powerfully to allow him to hold Adam that she didn’t have the heart to tell him nay.

The apothecary had said the medicant might cause strange dreams, but Connell had been beyond disoriented and confused. It was Sunday. Everything was closed. She wouldn’t be able to talk to the apothecary until tomorrow, and Connell was due for three more doses today. She decided to cut the measure of herbs in half. If it wasn’t enough, at least he would be coherent enough to tell her he was in pain.

Connell turned his head sharply. “Nay!” he called so very softly, but his voice filled with such pain he might as well have shouted the word.

“Connell,” she murmured and leaned closer. She trailed her fingers through his hair, trying to calm him. “Connell, peace, it be only a dream.”

He settled some, but lines still marred his handsome face. The more she spoke, the more he seemed to turn toward her, as if he wanted her to keep his nightmares at bay. She moved even closer, continuing to caress his face and speaking soft reassurances. Finally, he calmed and the lines of his face eased. His eyes didn’t move so rapidly, and he seemed to settle into a deeper sleep.

HHH

Connell stepped into the great hall of Castle MacGrigor. The sick covered the floor. Soft moans reached him as Lia worked so very hard to save lives.

Oh nay, he did not wish to be here. He knew the agony that awaited him. But no matter how hard he tried to make himself leave, his gaze fell on a woman as her body shuddered and convulsed. He found himself rushing to her side, unable to stop the events that were to happen.

“Ina,” he called pulling her into his arms. “Peace, I’m here.”

She looked up at him, her eyes glazed with pain and fever. “Connell, please take me home.”

“Lia is here. She will save ye.”

Ina closed her eyes. At least she turned toward him instead of away. “Forgive me,” she whispered, her voice so very soft.

“Peace, Ina,” he whispered, holding her close. “I am here. I will no’ leave ye.”

She relaxed in his arms, her head against his chest. For a time
, Connell simply held her close, at last seeing a return to the kindhearted lass he had married. She had been timid and skittish, but she had never uttered a cross word to him until the second year of their marriage when he had been forced to leave a number of times to carry out his duties to his laird and clan. Yet she had seemed to simply be voicing her frustration over it rather than berating him.

It wasn’t until she was breeding that her waspish temper truly revealed itself. But even then, Connell had simply dismissed it as the state some lasses experienced during breeding.
After they had their bairns, their tempers returned to a more even keel.

Unfortunately, after Ina had William, she changed completely, and the kindhearted lassie he had known seemed to vanish into the Highland mist.

At least now he could hold her close, and she seemed to appreciate his efforts. She wasn’t always coherent, but she spoke of William. One moment she prattled on
, so proud of how he was learning to walk, and the next she spoke of her son as he was out the door and racing after the older lads, trying desperately to keep up with their longer legs and greater tests of strength.

But even a few minutes of this seemed to exhaust her more and more rapidly. The illness from the blighted grain ravaged her body, and her fever was terrible. She convulsed in his arms, struggling to breathe. Connell didn’t understand any of this, but Lia told him that the fever burning within her had gone too high. It was damaging her body and mind. Lia did all she could, but Connell was absolutely helpless.

He knew he was losing Ina to death, and his heart sent terrified prayers to the heavens.

“Connell?” Ina whispered.

He looked down, startled to see her coherent, but her green eyes were glazed and dull. Her skin was so pale he could no longer see her freckles. It was as if parchment had been stretched over the delicate bones of her face. Her lips had taken on almost a blue tint. The only color to her skin was the bright red blotches on her face from the high fever.

“Connell?”

“Aye?”

“Forgive me?”

“’Tis all right, lass.”

“Nay. I was wrong . . . so very, very wrong. I should have never kept William from ye.”

He frowned. “What mean ye?”

“I was so terrible tae ye. But I hated ye for leaving. Ye dinna ken what happened tae me when ye were gone. When we were first married, I had no friends here. I was so alone and when
ye would leave, I had no one. There were days I couldna get out of bed. I was terrified tae face another day alone.”

“Terrified? Why? Ye were a bit shy at first, but ye made friends soon enough.”

“I kenned people, but I couldna bring myself tae trust anyone while ye were gone. I dinna ken why. I just ken that I couldna eat, I couldna sleep, and I couldna stop crying most days. Then ye would return, and everything was right again. But when ye’d leave again, I hated ye because of what it did tae me.”

“Why did ye no’ tell me?”

“I feared ye would think me brainsick, that my words would only drive ye away again. Ye couldna see what happened tae me when ye were gone,
and when ye were here, I couldna explain it. But then after William was born . . . ye took such good care of us, Connell. When I was so weak I could barely hold him tae breast, ye took care of him and me, and I kenned ye wouldna leave.”

“Ye needed me, ye and William both. I was glad tae do it.”

“But ye left us again . . . why did ye leave?”

He swallowed hard. He couldn’t tell her that she had cut his heart out by forbidding him the one thing he wanted most in this world. “Ye di
dna need me any longer,” he said, but his voice was thick and unsteady.