Authors: Daniel J. Williams
From the top of the cliff, the crowd felt relieved. The curse was destroyed. By the time Marty and Stephen arrived, the mob’s chanting stopped and they milled about, waiting to hear the next message.
Looking over the cliff on horseback, Marty said loudly, “I still feel the pull! There are more that need to be killed!” He looked at the horizon. “That way!” he said, pointing South-West. “The curse is there!” He pointed directly towards San Antonio, Texas, then looked down at their dead comrades. “But first…we feast! Stay clear of the defiled ones. We only eat the pure! Their deaths will not be in vain.”
The crowd cheered in madness.
“Find a way down and then we make camp!”
Jade felt sick as Mace continued to pump hard. She kept her eyes closed and bit her lip, bracing herself for the finish. After a few more minutes, he gritted his teeth as he exploded inside her. Collapsing on the bed next to her, he was coated in sweat.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, knowing she didn’t enjoy it anymore. He’d lost the tenderness but not the desire. It was now stronger than ever. He fought to catch his breath. “I wish I could be more loving. This is not what you deserve.”
Jade leaned into him and put her arm around him.
It felt uncomfortable but Mace didn’t push her away.
He craved the act of sex, sometimes desperately when they came together, but he struggled with the intimacy that was part of the union. He still loved Jade intensely, even if he couldn’t feel or experience it any longer. She would always be the love of his life.
Filled with a deep sense of self-loathing for his lack of gentleness and thirst for violence, he wanted to turn away from her. He knew a part of him was horribly wrong.
“Just don’t say anything,” Jade answered quietly. “I know it’s not your fault. I understand that.”
Despite all the anger and rage he felt inside, the one thing that would completely destroy him would be the loss of Jade or his children.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said.
“No, you don’t,” she laughed quietly. “I can’t believe I used to complain about you being quick in bed.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Do you remember what we used to dream about?” he asked a few minutes later as he stared at the ceiling.
“What do you mean?” Jade placed her head softly on his chest. She still loved him fiercely. No matter what happened, she would always be his. She knew he handled his condition the best he could.
“A farm. A family. A community of people.” He paused for a moment. “That was our dream. Not this; it’s all coated in darkness.”
Jade lifted her head and stared deeply into his eyes. “You’ve done the best you can, Mace. That’s all you can ever hope for.”
“My best is not what’s best for this camp, though, and I know you see that. I can’t beat this thing. I know what needs to be done.”
“What is it that you think needs to be done?” Jade asked, propping herself up on an elbow, a bit scared of his answer. He’d grown even darker over time and spoke of his death more often.
“I see a man who is so different than me, J. He still contains light. I see it. That is an extremely rare thing to find out here.” Mace stared at her intently. “I think Roger could lead this camp, J. He could give the kids things I no longer possess.”
Mace continued to speak from what was left of his heart. “I taught these kids to be hard. To survive. I made Woody a leader, but he’s dark. The longer this thing lives inside me the darker I become. Things need to change. And soon. It will be best for everyone.”
Staring at Jade, he felt a vast emptiness inside. “These kids have no real concept of love. They don’t know what it’s like to laugh and live without fear. I can’t give that to them. They survive, but they don’t really live. They simply exist. We all just simply exist.” Lying back to stare at the ceiling, Mace wondered what impact his death would have on the camp.
Jade didn’t like his tone. She felt scared. With two children and a third on the way, they needed to figure this thing out. She couldn’t lose him. “I still believe you can beat this. I still have hope: In you and in this camp. Don’t give up just yet. These kids are all alive because of you."
“Just living sometimes isn’t enough,” Mace replied, still lost in a chasm of despair. “I want to give them so much more.” His own emptiness created a compassion he couldn’t even comprehend. Trying once again to wrap his mind around a higher-power, he said, “Sometimes I just wish I could feel that light, that presence, one more time. Just to know it was real. What I felt was so much more than this. It’s what I want for them, for you, for our children. What’s left of my heart breaks for all of us.”
Jade quietly pressed her ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “I don’t know for sure what makes our hearts beat. I only know what makes it stop.” Without even realizing it, Jade’s core being had lost its spark. Life was hard. That’s all there was. She’d stopped searching for anything else.
“Go on,” he said, listening.
“Death is the only thing that feels real anymore and we need to continue to fight it off.” She lifted her head and stared into his eyes. “We are still alive, Mace. We are still a community. It may be harsh, but it’s not as harsh as the world outside these walls. You’ve seen to that. We are all still breathing. Sometimes that is just enough.” She said the words but didn't really believe them. She knew things needed to change. She just didn't know how.
Mace nodded as his despair took deeper root. He’d kept them protected. He’d kept them alive. But he’d done it by doing things he could never tell her about. Inside, he knew he was a monster: Created by a toxin and perfected by experience and desire.
Roger eyed the target for a second before he wound up and launched the spear, much to Crockett’s delight. The spear bounced off a wall and hit the ground six feet short and wide right of the target.
“You only missed the bullseye by about a bazillion feet,” Crockett taunted. Shirtless with colored war paint across his arms and chest, Crockett had drawn charcoal lines under his eyes.
Part of the wild orphans from Wyoming, Crockett experienced some of the worst of Evelyn's torture. Surviving the initial terrorist attacks with his family, his whole world turned swiftly upside down when they discovered Evelyn and her orphaned brood during their travels.
After inviting them to stay for a few days, Evelyn flung their bedroom door open the very first night, commanding Woody and the others to kill his parents and older brother. The kids stormed the room and it was over in seconds. The slingshots didn't miss.
Wailing as he tried to hide in a corner, Evelyn grabbed Crockett roughly by his arm, tossing him outside with the rest of the children. Landing hard on the ground, the boy sobbed as Woody helped him up. Leading him with the others into the barn, they all softly apologized for what they'd been forced to do. In complete shock, Crockett was terrified of everyone. Walking into the barn, the first thing he saw was the corpse of Evelyn's daughter, tied to a chair with her tongue ripped out of her mouth.
Over the course of a few weeks, all the kids embraced him as one of their own, helping him deal with his grief and teaching him how to survive around Evelyn. Crockett slowly learned the horrors of their madhouse.
He didn't find out until afterwards that their new, healthy meals consisted of the ground up bodies of his parents and brother. He threw up for weeks every time food was placed in front of him after that. Evelyn forced him to eat, using a switch on him if he refused. "Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you!" she yelled as she beat him. "Read your Bible and learn God's ways!"
As time went on, he hardened up, learning to deal with his loss by growing numb emotionally. They all survived because they leaned on each other, watched out for each other, establishing an unbreakable bond. They were united in their misery.
After Jacqueline's arrival, everything started to change. Crockett became one of the proud Lost Boys to Woody's Peter Pan. Now a Ranger, he was boastful, strong, and determined to never let anyone hurt him or any of them again. Fiercely loyal to his friends, he wasn't interested in anything that could rip open the wounds on his heart. He was fine the way he was.
Back at the training center, Crockett taunted Roger further after the poor spear-throwing display. "I could throw better than that in my damn sleep," he exclaimed, puffing out his chest.
They’d set up hay bails at the end of the courtyard for archery and spear training. Standing next to Roger defensively, Kelly challenged his bravado. “Let’s see you do better,” she said. “I’d bet a bazillion dollars your skills can’t match your ego.” With a handful of kids watching the demonstration, Tom slept close by against the adobe wall, a cowboy hat hung down over his eyes. He was sleep-deprived and hung over. He snored softly.
Crockett clapped his hands once. “Be prepared to be amazed,” he said, as he moved towards the stack of spears. He’d been critical in their development and implementation. “See this one?” he asked as he held up a long spear with a flint tip connected by a strip of rawhide. “I made it last week. Same with half the rest in this pile. I like the extra long ones. They fly better because of their weight.”
Kelly suddenly had a feeling she might regret her challenge.
“Hey Jersey,” Crockett joked, “if you lose, you’re gonna owe me a bazillion of something.”
“If only it were brain cells,” Kelly countered. “Then maybe you’d be halfway normal.”
Crockett pretended to glare but felt attracted by her wit. “If you win, I’ll owe you a pair of boobs so you’ll be a bazillion times better to look at.”
“Yeah, you’d love to see my boobs. They’re still bigger than those shriveled up little trinkets you call testicles.”
Roger couldn’t take it anymore. “Will you just throw the spear before I toss up my lunch?”
Crockett grinned at Kelly before balancing the spear in his hand. He held it loosely and took aim. Taking a few quick steps, he launched the spear. It flew a straight twenty-five feet and sunk deep into the hay target just outside the red bullseye. The spear quivered.
“Shit,” said Kelly under her breath.
“Looks like you owe me a bazillion of something!” Crockett declared cockily.
An arrow suddenly whizzed by his head. He watched it sink into the middle of the bullseye. He looked back to see Chelsea smiling, obviously pleased with herself. “At least I hit the bullseye,” she teased.
“Why don’t you go play with your dragon,” Crockett said dryly.
Chelsea got a funny look on her face. “How does everybody know about my dragon?” It was supposed to be a secret. She suddenly stormed off to find Maya, passing Jade as she exited the courtyard.
As soon as Roger saw Jade emerge, he nudged Kelly and said, “Be right back.” He walked quickly over to greet her.
Turning towards Crockett, Kelly said flirtatiously, “I’m thinking a bazillion kicks to the balls is what I’ll owe you.” She picked up a spear and weighed it in her hand. “So, how do you throw this thing?”
Crockett smiled as he moved around her to show her the best throwing technique. He touched her hand as it held the spear and they both felt sparks.
“Get away from me, you pervert,” Kelly said, startled by the feelings.
“What the hell, you just asked me to show you how to throw it!”
They both flushed.
“Yeah, but you don’t have to touch me.”
“The last thing I want to do is touch you. I was just trying to help you, you tampon.”
Kelly thought about smacking him across the face. The thought turned her on. She turned around and stormed away.
Crockett watcher her leave. She had a nice butt. He couldn’t believe the thought just crossed his mind.
“Hey Jade,” Roger said as he approached. “I don’t want to interrupt your workout, but I was thinking about what you said yesterday.”
“What do you mean?” Jade asked before she swung a machete hard across a wooden dummy.
“About helping Mace. I’d really like to try. My wife went through the same thing. I know how devastating it can be.”
Jade yanked the machete lose then let it drop to her side. “I’m sorry, Roger. I didn’t know.”
“There was nothing I could do. It just happened. If I can save you some of the heartache I went through, then I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished something here.”
Staring at him for the longest time, Jade decided to open up. It felt dangerous yet liberating. “He carries an amazing amount of guilt and anger,” she said in confidence. “I guess you’ve seen that?”
Roger nodded his head. “My wife could only deal with it for six months before she took her own life. She couldn’t live with what she was capable of doing.”
Flashing back to those last days, he struggled to keep himself composed. His wife begged him to finish it for her, to end her suffering. He couldn’t. He loved her too much.
Her outbursts grew more violent over time. Her mind more paranoid and unstable. She looked for a reason to kill, hunting infected when it was safer to hide, continually putting them in danger. She finally pistol whipped him one night, threatening to kill him over nothing. It almost cost them their lives as it alerted infected in the area to their whereabouts.
Once they were safe, she broke down completely, and he held her, whispering that it would get better. She sobbed inconsolably as she stared at his face. His right eye was swollen completely shut. He didn’t hold any anger towards her. He knew she couldn’t control herself. She’d once been such a gentle and loving woman.
“Kill me,” she’d stated in desperation as she stared up at him. “Please.”
“Shhhh,” he’d whispered as he stroked her hair. “It will get better. You can control it. I know you can.”
The next morning he woke to find her staring at the gun in her lap. All she said before lifting it to her head was, “I can't. I'm sorry.”
Shaking his head to clear the movie-reel images of her suicide, he gazed sadly at Jade. He understood what she was going through only too well.