Legend of the Touched (6 page)

Would you still love me?
she asked.

Of course. I've loved you for a long time.

Even knowing all of the drama that's happened
since?

Yes. I wouldn't change a thing about us Tai. It's
what makes us special.

She let out a soft sigh of relief.
If given the
chance, would you have courted me like a human boy?

Yes, if it would have pleased you.

Would it have? Probably not since in the past she'd
always ignored the guys from school. Relationships weren't
something she believed in for a long time. Any guy her mother dated
had left, and the whole thing seemed like a lot more work than it
was worth.
I'd have pushed you away.

Good thing I love you, because I'd have kept trying.
Hello, you pushed me away all summer. Even now, you still try to
sometimes. It's different, but I respect that you like to be
independent.

How did he know her so well? Why couldn't she be so
observant?

Do you want to be courted?
he asked, his tone
going soft now. Something was troubling him, she could sense
it.

I don't know. I've never been pursued much before.
Why?

Just wondering.

Okay...
Now she was confused.

You should sleep. It's getting late, and there's
class tomorrow.

Not going to ask me to skip again?

No, I see why it's so important to you. As long as
you want to and are able, I won't keep you from it.

Come back soon, so I can be awake when you hold me
tonight?

Yes beautiful, of course.

Her eyes closed and she hugged herself. These were
the moments when it was easy to remember she loved him. When her
mind was able to carefully put all of the puzzle pieces together
and see the bigger picture surrounding her. In the bustle of the
school day, immersing herself in the normal world, she easily got
lost in the ways of how things used to be. It was easy to feel
single, to feel in control of her destiny again. Then she'd see
Darien and the reality of her life would hit once more.

Things weren't in her control. Sometimes, she was
okay with this. It grew tiring after a while, and the more she let
herself rely on him, the nicer it felt to not have to worry about
taking care of everything. Other times it was scary. She didn't
like feeling powerless. The last thing she was was anything that
resembled weak.

She did love him though, and that kept her going in
this new life. Hopefully someday she'd open herself up more to the
others in his family. Then things would feel a lot less lonely in
the house. Once Ethan was born, she would have more in common with
his brothers' wives. If only she could find someone to talk to
about being pregnant, because coping was getting harder and harder
to do.

With a yawn and a sigh, she rolled onto her left
side.
I don't want to be a mother.

Chapter Twelve

The Oceina

The doubt was killing him. When would Tai realize
that she could be so much more than she believed when it came to
her own capabilities?
She doesn't want to be a mother?
Why not?
It happened a lot sooner than he'd expected, but
children had always been the only thing he was positive he wanted
in his life besides her. It stung to hear those thoughts, and he
didn't know how to confront her on the issue. Making her upset was
always a bad idea. As hard as it was for him to pretend he hadn't
heard that one particular thought, it was better if he did. He had
to respect her and her privacy.

Those sorts of thoughts put him on edge even further
though. Didn't she realize that? What if she decided to walk away
again? Only this time she wouldn't come back to him. She'd stay
gone, and move on with her life without him. Unlike his brother
though, he didn't think he'd be able to survive. If she didn't want
to bear his children, how could she want to be with him for the
rest of their lives?

Unsure if he could keep his thoughts private for too
much longer, he pulled out his notebook for math class and grabbed
a pen. There were a few ways to block the telepathy a dragon shared
with his wife. The first being simple self-control and
concentration, the second being in contact with his element, and
the third was putting those thoughts straight to paper. Darien
didn't understand the way this magic worked, but he was grateful
for it because it would save his sanity.

I don't know why I hadn't thought of this before.
Now I know how to ensure Tai gets the rest she needs at night when
I'm plagued by insomnia. This time I need it to stop a fight. We
did enough of that over the summer, and I don't want to start any
more just yet. Especially now that she's pregnant because I don't
want any unneeded stress to harm Ethan. Besides, it doesn't feel
worth it to bring this up. Not yet at least. I'm having a hard time
understanding her is all. Why doesn't she want to be a parent? Does
she feel like she would do poorly at it? Or is it because she wants
more time with me first? Or something else?

My logic is telling me it's option number two. This
is fast. Yeah, I want a lot of sons just like any Dragon Lord does,
but I had hoped to start on this a little further into being
married. Perhaps after our first dragon year had passed. That's
four years of human time, and she'd have plenty of settling in done
by then. We'd be closer, stronger, but I guess this is fitting for
us. We've always been a whirlwind.

But my gut is telling me there's something else
going on. Maybe I'm paranoid, maybe I'm going crazy from everything
else happening, but I see things, notice things. Mainly involving
her and some of the other males at school. Okay, I'll get specific.
Alexjavier.

It started as being innocent. He's always thought
she was attractive, but the scent of his lust is changing. It used
to be a sweet sort of cinnamon, now it's spicy, strong, and to the
point where I can't be around him. The first thing I want to do
when I smell it is sneeze because it strikes my nose so forcefully,
and then after that I want to punch him for looking and thinking
about her in such a perverted way. I get it, she can't control how
he reacts to her. Obviously he has great taste, but I don't think
he respects our relationship. Of course he doesn't know we're
married.

What worries me more than him though is that I can
smell her changing her response to it. At first there was a slight
caramel-like flavor surrounding her, which I think is flirtation.
He flusters her. But I can get that same smell off of her by
telling her she picked out a cute pair of socks that morning, so I
don't think it's anything to go crazy over. She's human, she has
emotions and reactions to things. That's normal. Now the smell is
getting smoother, richer, and spicier. She's starting to lust for
him too. So what do I do now? Am I doing something wrong?

I need to talk to her about all of this. What I
don't know is how to go about doing so. What if it's only
paranoia?

He stared at the words on the page feeling a lot
better than before. Still just as confused as ever, but better all
the same. The gnawing feeling on the inside of his gut was gone, so
maybe now he could get some sleep. Doubtful, but he could at least
try.

Chapter Thirteen

The Inero

Four days had passed since their disaster of a
romantic date happened. Jason avoided Gwen any chance he had. He
knew this was a bad idea, but he didn't quite know what else to do
either. She needed an explanation, a real one, and the words were
not something easy to come by.

If I tell her I'm possessed, she's going to freak
out. Hearing voices usually means a person is crazy. Being
possessed is even worse news.
He didn't bother guarding his
thoughts from his brother half hoping that maybe he would reply,
but mostly believing his twin wouldn't care enough to. They had the
one good conversation not too long ago, sure, but would they both
keep making the effort? Probably not. The only solution that would
be acceptable to Matthias was for Jason to come home, and he didn't
want to.

He stared out at the waves as they rolled in towards
the beach. They were a lot larger today than usual, more violent
even. A storm was coming. Off in the distance he could see dark
clouds over the ocean. It wouldn't be long until they came over the
house.

The water splashed at his feet, and the soft rumble
of thunder could be heard. He stood, wiped the sand from his
backside, and started for inside only pausing briefly on the way to
pick up a pretty pink shell to add to his collection of beach
trinkets. Someday when he saw his brother again, he'd show off all
of the fun things from his adventures. He climbed up the stairs to
the deck of his home, and walked in after wiping his feet off on
the rug.

"I thought you were going in to town today," Gwen
said from the kitchen. She'd been keeping busy in there a lot.
Every day there was some new treat in the oven, or a new experiment
for dinner. The house was also always impeccably clean. Then again,
there was only so much for them to do to keep busy. If he went to
town, she stayed home. If he stayed, she left for the
afternoon.

Jason gave her a small smile. "I decided to go for a
walk first, but noticed a storm was coming in. Probably a better
idea if I stayed home instead, don't you think? It could be
scary."

"If you're worried about me cowering in fear, you
needn't. We used to have storms a lot on the farm. Thunderstorms,
tornadoes, the works. Pretty common when your homeland is flatter
than a pancake." She returned his smile, but didn't move from
behind the counter. Tough body language for him to decipher. Her
smell suggested she wanted to be close to him, but there was also a
bit of fear mixed in as well. He was pretty sure it wasn't because
of the storm.

With a shrug, he sat down in the nearest chair he
could find. "Back in the city, it hardly ever rained. Kind of like
here. When it did, it usually only poured all day and that was it.
We've yet to have a storm here. I heard they can be intense."

"Sounds to me like you're the one who's afraid."

He shrugged. "I didn't want to leave you alone in
case something happened. It's part of my gentlemanly nature.
Besides I..."

"You?" She leaned forward across the counter.

"I've missed you. This is kind of stupid. I'm being
kind of stupid."

"It's natural. We're in an awkward situation. I
figured you wanted some time to yourself to figure things out, so
I've been keeping away. Forcing myself on you isn't helping
anyone."

"You're probably right." He bit his lip remembering
just how she had tried to do that last time and how much he'd liked
it. No, loved it. Her ability to take control over the situation
had been pretty hot. If that voice hadn't kicked in and started
talking to him again, they probably would have finally made love.
Now the ball was back in his court.

Sighing deeply, he put his head in his hands. "I
don't know what my problem is." He paused. "Okay, I'll be honest. I
do know what my problem is, but I don't know how to explain it to
you in a way you'll understand."

"You don't need to. Before I wasn't ready, and that
held us back. Now you're realizing that you're not attracted to me.
I'm sure this happens and it's normal." She shrugged, and he could
tell she was purposefully trying to keep her body language casual
to mask how much it all bothered her. A wave of plum mixed with
salt floated towards his nostrils and he recognized it as deep
sadness.

He frowned. "Is that what you think? I don't find you
desirable? You're beautiful Gwen. Saying no has always been the
hardest thing I've had to do, especially now when there's nothing
keeping us apart but ourselves."

"So then...why?"

"That's the part I'm trying to figure out how to
explain. Everything has been different ever since the ceremony for
the prophet," he said. This was as good of a place as any to start.
The voice came into his head shortly after the ceremony
happened.

She nodded, and moved out of the kitchen to sit next
to him and touched his knee with her hand. "I've noticed. I wasn't
sure if it was because of that or just all of the stress going on
with your family. A lot has been happening in a short period of
time."

"Yeah, but there's more to it."

Don't tell her. She won't understand. She'll hate
you. You'll lose her. Forever,
the voice chided. Jason rubbed
at his forehead, trying to shove it aside, but it only got louder
as it repeated those five phrases over and over again.

"Please try to tell me." Her dark eyes grew wide. The
scent of her tears was mixing with the sadness. Thunder
cracked.

He took in a deep breath. "I'm doing this."

Your loss then.

"I'm not going to lose her," he said softly. Gwen
stared at him with a raised eyebrow. While he'd been hoping she
hadn't heard him, it was a good thing she had. Another deep breath,
and then he took a leap of faith.

"I've been hearing things, a voice, trying to dictate
how I live my life. It's similar to my own inner monologue, but I
know it doesn't belong to me. It probably doesn't make sense. Maybe
I've finally snapped from the pressure and taken on another
persona, but it's there. Every time we get close, it starts
whispering to me about how we should make love."

"Sounds like a mood killer," she mumbled. He wasn't
sure if he appreciated her attempt at humor or not. Part of him
would have rather she just say whatever was really on her mind.
There had to be more.

"Among other things."

"Maybe you have simply cracked because of all the
drama. Why didn't you tell me this sooner? I've been worried sick
about you."

"Because I don't want you to run, or treat me
differently. I especially don't want you to feel like you have to
start walking on eggshells around me. The longer this continues
though, the worse it's going to get."