Leigh (34 page)

“You’ve had a rough time, but that time is over.” With his right hand, he lifted her golden hair over one ear and watched
it flutter down again like spun gold. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Leigh Sinclair. And that’s that.”

“I can’t give you what you want, Nate.” She sounded tight inside.

“And what do I want—” He lifted her hair again. As it drifted back to her shoulders, he watched it gleam in the low light.
“—except for you?”

“I’m just not the loving-wife type.” She turned her profile to him and tried to move away from his hand sifting her hair.

“You’re fooling yourself if you believe that. And what’s a loving-wife type?” He moved closer, his mouth hovering over hers.
“Do you think I expect to come home to fresh-baked bread and slippers? Get real. I love you, Leigh. Deal with it.” Then he
bent his head and claimed her soft lips, marking her as his own.

Feeling the warmth spread through her, Leigh wanted to believe him, wanted to be persuaded, but it didn’t feel real.
I
’
m thirty-six years old, and I’ve never won at love before. How can I believe it would ever happen now? Don’t love me, Nate.
I’m bad with men
—
either they leave me or they die.

A
t the centuries-old cemetery, Leigh stood in bitter, blustery wind. Icy sunlight dazzling her, she’d slipped on her sunglasses.
Nate had his arm around her, keeping her close. The priest was pronouncing the final benediction at the graveside of Nate’s
grandfather. It was a policeman’s funeral. Legions of retired and active policemen in blue and braid had come out to honor
this ex-cop who’d walked his beat back through the Roaring Twenties, the Depression, World War II, and on past Korea.

Then bagpipes began to play “Amazing Grace.” The plaintive melody caught Leigh around the heart and she couldn’t have moved
if she’d tried. Had Nate’s grandfather requested it just as her grandfather had?

In 1972, Minnie had sung this at both funerals, her grandfather’s and the double one for Ted and Dane. But it was as if Leigh
were hearing the words for the first time. In her mind, she heard once more Minnie lifting her rich contralto voice, “…
that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost hut now I’m
found. Was blind but now I see.”
And then it was as if Grandpa Roarke, Ted, and Dane were there, hovering close, enfolding her in their love—their abiding
love for her that hadn’t ended with their deaths.

Remorse, gratitude, hope swelled inside her. She clung to Nate, fearing that the power of these surging emotions would sweep
her from her feet. Something hovered at the back of her consciousness. What had Grandma Chloe said to her after Dane’s death—something
that Leigh should never forget?

She closed her eyes, and it started to return. Chloe had told Leigh that God loved her just she was, an imperfect human. That
sounded good, but how did one make up for being fallible? Her life hadn’t gone the way she’d planned. And after committing
adultery and in effect cursing her child, how could Leigh ever make things right? Carly was back with her, but only in body,
not spirit. How could she close that hollow space between them?

In her suddenly sharpened memory, Minnie continued to sing along with the bagpipes, “
Through many trials, toils, and fears, I have already come. ’Twas grace that brought me safe this far, and grace will lead
me home.”

God, I’ve sought Your forgiveness, Your grace all these years without realizing it. What do I have to do to get it? I can’t
begin again until I put the past, my sin behind me. I can’t reach Carly until I’ve made things right.

Sudden warmth filled her, driving away the chill. Her mind had never been clearer. Grandma Chloe’s voice whispered in her
mind, “
Lay down your pride that insists you can do this life without God’s forgiveness. ”

Mary Beth’s voice whispered, “
Just tell the truth. It will set you free.”

Nate’s defiant words came back, “
I love you, Leigh. Deal with it.”

Leigh couldn’t hold out any longer. Suddenly she realized that
she
was the stumbling block, the dam that was holding everything back.
I give up, God,
she acknowledged silently.
I accept that I can’t make You forgive me; I can only accept Your grace. I’ll tell Carly the truth about her father.

Then she turned into Nate’s embrace and hugged him so tightly she felt his uniform’s buttons pressing into her. The crescendo
of the song lifted above her, “When we’ve been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we’ve no less days to
sing God’s praise than when we first begun.”

“I love you, Nate Gallagher,” she whispered into his ear, relief washing through her like a baptism.

He looked down and kissed her cheek. “I know.” And then he grinned.

W
riting
Leigh
was difficult for me. Leigh Sinclair was only a few years older than I, so her youth and coming of age was mine too. The
thought of writing a “historical” novel around my own generation jarred me. But once I got into it, I found that bringing
up realistic details from my own past instead of from history books paid an unexpected dividend. I recalled things I had forgotten.
And
Leigh
gave me a chance to revisit the turbulent times of my youth.

I recalled the Cold War, the fearful days of the Cuban Missile Crisis and the very real anxiety of a nuclear holocaust, so
very different from today’s worries of “dirty” bombs and terrorism. I recalled awakening to the news that Robert Kennedy had
been killed and wondering when the assassinations would stop—or if they ever would. I recalled the violent transition from
segregation to racial integration, the trauma of Viet Nam and of Watergate.

I remember ladies wearing hats and gloves to church on Sundays when all the stores were closed and families got together over
“Sunday dinner” and a quiet afternoon. I remember wearing a skirt every day—not just for special occasions—and
wearing a girdle with hooks to hold up nylon hose with seams. I remember the advent of pantyhose and bra-burning and much,
much more. My generation rebelled against the World War II generation, very much matching the “Lost Generation” of the Roaring
Twenties. Chloe said it best: “It seems like in America, we have these times that come through like gangbusters, ripping things
apart, and what’s been accepted for decades and decades changes overnight.” That was the sixties and seventies. Those were
the days, my friends.

1. What historic events, if any, have impacted your life? In what way? And what were the consequences?

2. How have the years changed popular opinion about the Viet Nam War? Or have they?

3. Leigh makes a life-altering choice the night of McGovern’s defeat. Can you find parallels to this in the Bible? In history
or your own life?

4. What do you think are the causes of the conflict between Leigh and Bette? What advice would you have given Leigh? Bette?
Does heredity play any part in their personalities? If so, how?

5. Leigh’s response to her little daughter’s questions about her daddy was pained silence. Was she right or wrong? How would
you have handled it?

6. Did Kitty’s story surprise you? What led her into an affair and out of it?

7. Do you see any parallels among the lives of Chloe, Bette, and Leigh? Explain.

8. Of the three generations of women, who seems to have found the greatest peace? Why do you think this is so?

9. Nate visited Leigh’s apartment the night Carly was born. Have you ever experienced a similar “coincidence” in your life?
Or do you know of a real-life example that happened to someone you know?

10. Compare and contrast how each generation handles universal experiences, such as births, deaths, weddings, et cetera. Show
how each is somewhat the same and different for each generation.

THE WOMEN OF IVY MANOR

Meet the women of Ivy Manor-four strong and independent ladies who live and love throughout the decades of the twentieth century. Each has experiences unique to herself; each must learn to grow and succeed on her own terms.

Chloe

Born in the early days of the new century, she gives up her old life for a new one-before realizing that perhaps what she's always wanted was right in front of her.

Bette

Coming into her own during World War II, Bette learns that dreams and expectations often change, hopefully for the better. Can she give up her childish hopes and embrace real life?

Leigh

A child of the civil rights movement, Leigh lives and breathes the exploration of new ideas and thoughts. But independence isn't always easy, and mistakes are made. Can she learn to accept who she is before it's too late?

Carly

Carly longs for independence, and finds it in the military. But when all that is stripped away, will she realize that her sense of identity comes from within, not from anything and anyone else?

The women of Ivy Manor—four generations of women who forged a dynasty amid the tapestry of the twentieth century…

Leigh

Linda Leigh Sinclair is born in the arternath of WWII. Raised near Ivy Manor, enveloped in the love of her family, Leigh has
everything she could possibly need—yet not everything she wants. Her overwhelrning need for freedom for herself and others
leads her into the modern civil rights movement.

At eighteen, Leigh watches the powers that be collide with the radical causes of the 1960s. Choosing the dangerous path of
a journalist, she witnesses and writes about the protests and riots against segregation and the war in Vietnam. Then, while
caught up in the winds of change, she falls in love. But her joy soon truns to pain…

To survive, Leigh must mature quickly and call on God’s forgiveness and power. Will she become the strong and capable woman
her family—and the world—needs?