LEMNISCATE (21 page)

It was at that moment I began to notice the tiny little bites at my ankles and legs. I looked down, letting out a breathy yelp. Swarming at my feet were tiny, hideous creatures. I swatted at them, hearing their soft little bodies smash into the ground. Horrified and repulsed, I turned and ran the other way.

The ceiling of the tunnel sprang to life. Once a gnarled mess of roots and vines, it was now a tangle of human limbs. Arms and hands extended downward, hands outstretched, clasping and grabbing. They were inches from touching my hair as I fled past them. Is this what hell was like? One horrible mental torture after the next?

Beyond the reach of the dangling arms, I found myself pausing reluctantly to catch my breath. I leaned over, my hands resting on bent knees as my lungs rejected the air I was trying to stuff into them. But there was no rest for me. I was being followed. I turned to see the opaque wall of black rushing toward me seconds before it slammed me into the nearest wall.

The darkness, the hatred, rained down on me. I felt heat burning my skin from the black smoke that wove it’s tendrils around my arms, my neck, my legs. Inside, my entire being was a concoction of everything I had ever feared and hated, all wrapped up into one emotion. It seeped deep within, hemorrhaging, to all the spaces inside me.

Lucifer.

I couldn’t see him. I questioned if he was even real, if I indeed was in his presence. But I knew the answer to that. No one else could cause these emotions to spread within me.

How would I ever reach my guardians now? Even if I did, Lucifer would never let me go, at least not without pulling them both into this with me.

I felt hatred stirring inside me. I felt hatred toward Nate for coming into our lives. Hatred toward my father for leaving us. I even hated Claire right now for dying on me, and Garreth for leaving me alone. I hated Hadrian’s dark beauty, for the way he loved me, and the way I wanted him to. And most of all, I hated myself for wanting both of them.

A tingling touched the very back of my brain. A part of me was still untouched, unchanged. I remembered when Garreth had told me guardians could tap into a person’s subconscious. I thought of Ryan. I could hear his voice the night we were in the closet. He was going on about hell being a part of our minds — to think of it was to succumb to it. All the stories of good winning over evil — was it possible? If we learned to tap into the light we each held inside ourselves, perhaps it would block the darkness always yearning to touch us, the evil that was forever seeking a way in. There had to be some sort of balance.

A glimmer of hope hit me just then. My balance was waiting for me just on the other side. It was dark and it was light, and to succeed in banishing evil, I had to acknowledge both. Not run away from one, while chasing the other. It was here all along. The ingredients to the mix. Light and dark.

I struggled to follow Ryan’s rule, the one he claimed to be his reason for seeing Claire months after her death.
He simply thought of her.
With that one thought I began to envision Garreth, and my mind filled with light, and when thoughts of Hadrian slowly penetrated my mind as well, I didn’t fight it. I allowed them in. There was no guilt, just clarity. But I felt Lucifer, still clinging to me, refusing to let me go and as soon as my mind unwillingly accepted that he was still here, I felt the sharp claws of the shape he was possessing dig into my back. Thoughts of where I was seemed impossible to block out.

Lucifer. He was fear. He was torment.

His voice struggled against the barrier I was placing. His wrath was venomous, but little by little, I reclaimed what was mine. I looked around to make sure that Brynn had made it out of this fabricated hell and then raised my hand and felt another grabbing hold of it.

It was warm.

It was almost human.

I was closer now, but the claws dug into my legs from below. He wasn’t going to let go. He would follow me if he had to. Suddenly there was someone else down here with me, and my eyes adjusted to the figure next to me. Hadrian.

“Go back,” I pleaded through gritted teeth. Did I bring him into this?

Hadrian’s eyes took me in. “It’s almost finished, Teagan,” he said nodding. “You need my help.” He was more than ready to turn and face the wrath swarming uncontrollably behind me.

“Hadrian, no!” I pleaded again. An ear-splitting, guttural sound escaped the fury behind us. I had been so close to ridding myself of Lucifer by the manner of sheer thought, or lack of it, only now I was distracted. I could only think of Hadrian’s safety and by doing so, I could feel Lucifer gaining strength against me again.

“He is my brother. This is as much my battle as it is yours,” Hadrian argued, and I could see the desire for bloodshed in his eyes, the need for chaos surfacing once again. “Listen to me, I understand your fears. I have helped create them. It’s only right that I help destroy them.” He grabbed my hand, turning it over until the lemniscate faced upright, glowing brightly.

“Hadrian, don’t look at him. Don’t turn around, please. Please stay with me. I can do this.” I clung to him, holding him to me. “These are my fears, my hell. Thinking of you just now was an accident. You’re not supposed to be here.” I searched the determined look in his eyes, begging him to fade from here and leave me. “I’m the light, remember?”

Suddenly, I knew Hadrian’s intentions and panic rose within me.

“And I have chosen to protect that light, no matter what the cost.” Hadrian pulled me to him, holding me close. His eyes, beautiful and vibrant green, captured me, memorizing me. His lips found mine, and in that kiss, I gave him more of myself than I had ever given him. I gave him a part of my heart.

He pulled away slowly.

“He’s waiting for you.” His head nodded upward, pointing in the direction of reality. My lifeline.

No!
I wouldn’t think of Garreth! I won’t drag him into this!

“Hadrian . . .”

His eyes stopped me, and he traced his finger along the curve in my hand. “Infinity. That’s how long I will protect you.” Before I could find the words to argue, his emerald eyes shifted, becoming sheer obsidian. He turned from me, facing the horror behind us.

Desperately, I tried not to listen to the battle at my back. I could hear the snap of bone, the slamming of bodies, and the worst sound of all, laughter. I couldn’t bring myself to think of who had released it. Listening was agonizing as the sounds of hell continued to pierce my ears.

Against my will, my body began to shake and tremble with rage, and an intense, white light appeared, streaming from my hand, illuminating the entire chamber, obliterating the shadows.

I spun around to face the demon that was Lucifer. His wings, black and ancient, stretched wide and a sooty substance fell from them as he inched his way closer to me. His head was enormous and sat on top of a gray, hairless body, rippling with muscle. With every movement of his great wings, the smell of rotting flesh was released, nauseating me. His voice was that of a growl, low and vulgar, and he reached out to me. I knew better than to look into his eyes and was thankful for the brilliant light escaping me.

And with Hadrian’s sacrifice, I grew stronger.

I shut myself to the idea that a vicious destruction was taking place and concentrated on controlling my fear. The lemniscate in my hand glowed with blinding intensity, but I forced myself to focus on it and nothing else, anchoring myself to the mark that was mine.

I had been blessed with the mark of unity in Garreth’s presence, only to have it change to one symbolizing infinity in Hadrian’s. My original mark standing for the three of us had evolved into one that meant infinity, uniting us forever.

With each tortured sound that came to my ears, another brick was added to my wall until finally, I had surrounded myself with a barrier strong enough to keep the darkness at bay.

I knew they were gone. I could feel it, but I still couldn’t bring myself to really look. A smooth pale hand reached down for me, and I accepted it, feeling it pull me into a blanket of warmth and light. Out of the corner of my eye, I stole a glance, seeing that Lucifer was indeed gone and caught a glimpse of what was left of Hadrian’s once magnificent wings.

G
arreth wrapped me in warm arms as I stared into what was left of the fire, watching as the last of the embers smoldered, refusing to die to ash. He helped me to my feet, allowing me to lean my weight against him. I should have felt overwrought after what I had just gone through, but mixed with the shock was an undeniable sense of tranquility. A tranquility only Garreth could muster for my sake, and it felt good to be in his arms again. It felt like home.

I wanted to ask if Hadrian was really gone. Would Garreth know for sure? I looked up at his face, and let the question slip away. If Garreth was comforting me, dulling my senses, then he had good cause to.

Together we shuffled toward the mouth of the tunnel. Brynn stood waiting for us, biting on dirty fingernails, looking forlorn and confused. Surely she was ready to get out of her underground mental torture chamber. We guided her gently along the passageway toward the fresh air that awaited us. I looked up, noticing the roots and leaves dangling above our heads as we walked. They were no longer alive and writhing. Numbly, I felt myself being taken along, walking, stumbling . . . until at last the cool breath of dawn kissed my face, and I knew we were safe.

The sun was just beginning to rise, stirring to life the sounds of the little town. I could hear a car pass, shortly followed by a second, and the rattle of the bridge connecting Pennsylvania to New Jersey across the river that no longer appeared as black as the night before. We followed the sounds, trekking silently through cool, green grass laden with dew to the front of the church we had spent hours beneath. The church was pretty. Gray with black shutters and stained glass windows arching severely toward its roofline. I pictured the pews filled with smiling worshippers, imagined it filled with soothing music, and sighed, thinking of the ordeal we had endured under its foundation.

A few yards up I recognized the sun-kissed glimmer of Garreth’s Jeep, but I wasn’t prepared for the intense feeling of security the sight of it brought me. I could hear Brynn gently slide the keyboard of her phone closed as we slowly walked to his car. Her grip on reality seemed to be surfacing and I briefly wondered who she had texted. Would her friends even answer her? But nearly ten minutes went by without a single chime back.

When the car pulled up and my frantic mother emerged, followed by a relieved and still disheveled Nate, I realized the numbness was wearing off and that Brynn had arranged our pickup. I could feel the magnitude of all that had happened. My bones hurt. My head ached. I let my mom cradle me, feeling her warmth. Her real warmth. It was her, not an illusion, and I hugged back, realizing I might be squeezing too hard despite my exhaustion and soreness. But she didn’t seem to mind.

“Sweetie,” her eyes took in our torn and dirty clothes and she immediately went into mom mode.

“What happened to you two?” My mom stared at me, then turned her eyes to Garreth, her voice tender but resonating insistence, especially after noticing how shaken Brynn appeared.

“Um,” I looked over at Nate. Suddenly I was at a loss for words.

“I knew you would find her.” Then he turned to my mother, “You see, this used to be Mary’s church. She would worship here occasionally, bringing Brynn along with her. It only made sense that Brynn would come here to feel closer to her mother on the anniversary of her death. Of course, coming here at night isn’t such a good idea, but at least they’re safe and sound.”

He shot a knowing glance my way, making sure only my eyes saw the grateful thank you behind it. I could sense that he understood all too well everything that had taken place during the night. Of course, I would have to tell him in detail, but that could wait for later. He would want to write it all down in the journal for safe keeping. Maybe he would even give me the honor of drawing the black line through Lucifer’s name.

“Garreth took care of me, Mom. I’m okay.” But I let her hover and fret. I was too tired to protest.

“Actually,” Garreth’s voice rose above my mother’s worrying. “Teagan took care of us. All of us.” His angelic blue eyes included Brynn, then met mine. His voice sounded calm and soothing again, not like the boy I had seen at school these past few weeks, and I hoped we’d found our way back to each other. But his statement sank deeply into my heart. ‘
All of us.
’ No, not all of us. There was one I
couldn’t
save. As happy as I was to be alive, I was suffering. A part of me was gone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brynn and Nate reuniting in quiet. I saw Nate pull her into a hug and that she let him. There was forgiveness in the way he tilted his head and somehow I knew they had finally met half way, accepting each other.

“Let’s get home. You three have been out all night and you’re a mess.” My mother was back to her old self, taking charge, wanting to care for us. I realized the distance that had been growing between us wasn’t just my inability to confide in her. It was a reserved way of protecting her. Of keeping her from knowing of matters that didn’t belong to our world. I also needed the distance to prepare myself, to face the greatest of fears lurking inside me. It was also up to me to take care of things. But I wondered,
did
I take care of things? Was Lucifer really gone?

And if so, for how long?

Nate held the car door open for my mom while she inarguably announced that hot showers, soup and tea were in order as soon as we reached home. I spied Brynn standing at the curb a few feet away, staring at the church. When she felt my eyes on her, she silently found her way over to me.

“Teagan, I . . . I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. “The last few hours are a blur to me, but I have a feeling it has to do with that stupid spell I tried at home. I’m really sorry if I hurt you.”

She had tears in her eyes again. Did I blame her for her actions? I couldn’t possibly. During the short time we were trapped together, I contemplated her actions while she slept. Faced with a similar turn of events, my life would have been just as upside down as hers, although stooping to make a deal with the likes of Lucifer was certainly not the wisest of choices.