Lennox (13 page)

“C’mon, pool shark. No delays of play.”

“I’m a master at work.” I lean over the table, line
up my shot, and shoot. Two stripes sink it in on the initial break,
so I indicate a third to Elena and walk around to aim for it.

I can feel her eyes on me, studying me, assessing me. She always had
that way about her—this way of making me feel like she could
see past all my bullshit and bravado. It kept me honest, once upon a
time. Now, though, I’m nervous about what she might find.

I don’t want to ruin this—this fragile thing building
between us. I know I’m not nearly the man I want to be in order
to do her justice. She deserves so much more. But if I, imperfect and
striving as I am, am going to make her happy, then I’ll fight
for that with all I can.

I take a shot, but the cue hits too high on the ball and gives it a
top spin I didn’t intend. “Shit,” I mutter. Elena
laughs, high and cheerful, and I grin back at her. I could listen to
the sound of her laugh for the rest of my life.

“All right, hot shot, let me show you how it’s done.”
She indicates the four, lines up her shot, and sinks it easily.

“No fair. It was already right in front of the pocket.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know ‘fairness’
was part of the game.” She grins wide. “All right, six
ball, back right pocket.”

“Go on, champ,” I tell her. “Show me how it’s
done.”

She lines it up, but I can already tell it’s going to come up
short. She’s trying to get too fancy, bouncing it off two
walls, and she just doesn’t have the strength to bank it the
way she means. I keep my mouth shut, though, and let her take the
shot. Sure enough, the cue ball rolls to a stop not half an inch from
the six ball she wanted to hit.

“Want a quick pointer?” I ask her, and she nods. I
saunter over to her and reach around her. So quick I almost don’t
catch it, she sucks in her breath. “You’ve got to have
the right amount of power behind the hit. Try aiming lower on the cue
ball. Like this.”

I guide her hands into position. But she’s not paying attention
to the lesson—and neither am I. Her warm, flawless curves are
pressed against my stomach and hips and, oh, fuck, she’s going
to get me hard all over again. I swallow, torn between wanting to
behave myself and wanting to hike her dress up and take her right
here on the pool table, in front of the whole bar.

“Lennox,” she says, her voice low. I can feel it
vibrating through her torso and against my chest. “Maybe we
could . . . um, maybe we could go . . .”

But I never get to hear what she’s about to say next, because
at that moment, Rory McManus looms into view.

“Now, Lennox, I know you’re not letting the lady win on
purpose,” he says. A cold grin slithers over his face. “That’s
not your style. Right?”

My whole body feels splashed with ice water. I let go of Elena and
stand up straight, the mood instantly killed. The last time I saw
Rory, he and I were running his mother’s drugs down to Taos in
the Nissan. I was doing my best to obey all the traffic laws, to not
stick out for any cops who might be watching us, while balancing that
against making the delivery as quickly as we could. But Rory, my
babysitter for the mission, was along for the whole ride, creeping me
out with his quick mood swings and his extra-dark sense of humor.

I don’t want Elena exposed to him. I
can’t
let her
be exposed to him. If he gets one whiff of my weakness for her, if he
sees her as some sort of leverage to hold over me—

I draw a shaky breath and lean against the table, as casually as I
can. “I’m just trying to stay flexible. We’re
playing for fun.” I set my jaw. “No stakes.”

“No stakes. Sure.”

Rory laughs to himself, and his flunkies—Neshaun and
Frankie—chuckle nervously. The girl attached to Rory’s
side, however, looks terrified, her eyes too wide in her gaunt skull.
I catch sight of the track marks along her arms and her hipbones
jutting out of her jeans. Poor thing’s stuck under Rory’s
thrall in more ways than one.

“So I guess you’re not entering the tournament?”
Rory releases the girl, and she staggers to one side. Frankie catches
her, and for a split second, a look of sympathy flashes across his
face, but it’s gone just as quickly. “That’s too
bad. What about you, honey?” He circles toward the table and
comes to a stop right in front of Elena. “What’s your
name?”

Shit. I offer up prayers to anyone who’ll listen that he
doesn’t recognize her as Drazic’s niece. I do
not
want her stuck in the middle of my business with the McManuses.
Whether Rory wants to play a sick game with her head or mine, I can’t
let her get caught up in it.

“Ellie,” she answers, her tone challenging. I ease back.
Smart girl. Don’t give him a chance to remember you. No one
calls her “Ellie” except for members of Drazic’s
crew.

“Ellie?” Rory snorts. “Sounds like a little kid’s
name. But hey, if that’s what flies your flagpole, Solt, who
the hell am I to judge?” He curls his upper lip, leering at me.
“You keep driving for me the way you did in Taos the other day,
you can fuck whatever you like.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. I’ve got to get Elena out of here. Get
away from Rory. I may work for him, but he’s not my friend.
He’ll never be my pal. And someday, I’ll leave the
McManuses and all the rest of Ridgecrest’s shit behind.

“Well, good luck, kids. I’ve gotta go sign up for the
tournament. Maybe we can play each other.” Rory snatches the
girl back onto one arm and turns back to his flunkies. “See you
around, Solt.”

“Yeah, see you.” I grip the edge of the pool table and
watch him retreat into the bar’s crowd.

After a few minutes, Elena approaches me and cups her hand over mine.
I’d clenched it into a fist against the pool table without even
realizing it. “Hey.” She laces her fingers through mine
as I try to relax. “Are you okay?”

I swallow, hard, and run my other hand through my hair. Trying to
clear my mind. Trying to pretend for her that I’m not forever
in the McManuses’ debt. But it’s never going to change.
I’ll never get the chance to be anything but their errand boy,
because there’s nothing else left for me to be.

“Yeah. It’s fine,” I tell her. But I’m not
convincing either one of us.

“That was one of the McManus boys, wasn’t it?” she
asks sadly. “I thought you were close with them. But he
seemed . . .”

“That one’s Rory. His brother, Sean, was my best friend
in prison. But they couldn’t be more different.”

Elena rocks back on her heels, her expression tight. Rory rattled
her, too. And it’s all my fault. I thought we’d be safe,
coming out here, past their territory. A sick thought comes to me.
Did Rory follow me? I wouldn’t put it past him and Mama at all.
Make sure I’m staying loyal. Learning everything they can about
me—finding every bit of leverage they can hold over me.

And now they know about Elena.

“You know what . . .” I slide my hand into
Elena’s and spin her around so she’s facing me. She
smiles instantly, and leans into my embrace. Unafraid. I want to be
brave for her. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t need
to play in some stupid tournament anyway.”

She laughs. “Are you sure? We came all this way . . .”

“I got to watch the sunset, I got to spend a few hours with my
favorite girl . . . that’s all I care about.”

She tilts her head to one side, regarding me, then nods. “Okay.
But I get to drive the Mustang!”

I glance over my shoulder, scanning the tavern. Rory’s holding
court with some of the other contestants. Good. They can keep him
busy. I hurry to keep up with Elena as she maneuvers her way out of
the crowded tavern back toward the parking lot.

We stop at a drive-thru burger place on the way back up Highway 12
and eat on the hood of the Mustang, leaning back against the
windshield. Elena wipes a smear of ketchup off her gorgeous, juicy
lips and looks at me with a shy grin. “You wanna know a
secret?” she asks.

“I want to know all your secrets.”

She laughs and nestles closer toward me. “When you first got
sent away, I used to look out at the lonely stretch of the high
desert and the stars over it, and think about what my life could be.”
She gestures toward the brilliant star-studded sky spread wide above
us. “And I’d think, ‘I wonder if Lennox can see
anything like this. If he’s looking out at the world, even if
it’s just through a tiny window, and dreaming of better days.’”
She shrugs, embarrassed. “I dunno. I guess it made me feel less
alone, to think you were out there, looking at the stars with me, and
thinking about what comes next.”

“You weren’t angry with me?” I ask. I don’t
quite have the heart to tell her that the future wasn’t high on
my priorities back then. Most nights were a struggle to stay alive.
It was me, Sean McManus, and Paolo against the gangs—skinheads,
thugs, hyper-religious cliques, and much, much worse.

“I was . . . confused.” Elena wipes the
ketchup off her mouth with a napkin. “God, I didn’t know
what to believe. All I knew for sure was that my family had shrunk.
We lost you and Troy, and people only seemed interested in mourning
Troy. I hated it. I hated that things had to change.”

My heart sinks. She’d lost her parents at a young age, and she
clung to all of us as fiercely as if we really were her flesh and
blood. I can’t blame her for feeling overwhelmed and betrayed.

“Everyone hated you for what you did. It was all they could
talk about for a while,” she continues. “But I was so
confused. I knew you—I never would have thought you’d
drink and drive, especially not with more lives on the line than your
own. And then Uncle D said—” She stops herself suddenly,
then hunches her shoulders. “Well, he said he didn’t
understand it, either, but that he had to treat you the same as he
would treat anyone who’d betrayed the crew.”

I frown for a moment. What had Drazic really said? I hoped, for his
own good, that he kept it to himself. Alexander Cartwright presented
a different danger than the McManuses did, but he was just as
powerful. In some ways, more.

“I’m sorry, El. I wish there was some way I could go back
in time and change things.” If she only knew how much. “But
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you giving me another
chance. It’s . . . it’s more than I
deserve.”

“No. Don’t start that again.” She folds her arms.
“I love you just how you are. Right now.”

She loves me. A grin carves across my face, refusing to give in to my
fears, my frustrations. Elena loves me. I mean, I’d always
dreamed of it—I’d always suspected it—but even now,
after everything that’s happened, she’s not afraid of me.
Of who I am, even after everything I’ve done.

But she doesn’t know how dangerous I am right now. And if Rory
McManus knows what she means to me . . . I’m
going to find it a whole hell of a lot harder to keep my promise to
her one day. To get out from under these criminals’ thumbs and
be an honest man for her.

*

Elena parks around the corner from Drazic’s house and kills the
engine. The sudden silence rings heavy in my head. I reach out and
tuck a strand of her hair behind her ears, earning me a bright smile.
God, I could spend the rest of my life trying to earn those smiles
from her.

“El . . .” I take a deep breath. She
twists toward me, expectant, but her smile falters at the sight of my
serious expression. “I love you, too. I always have.”

She grins, her cheeks darkening in the dim light. “Always?”

“Ever since I got to know you. That clever mind of yours.”
I cup her knee with my hand. “I want so badly to be yours. But
listen—I know I’m putting you in a tight spot. I get it
if it’s not the right time. Believe me, I do.”

She shrinks back into herself. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s not like your uncle . . . or
the rest of your ‘family’ . . . are
exactly thrilled with me right now.” I grimace. “And then
the people I’m working with now . . . I just
couldn’t ever forgive myself if something were to happen.
They’re not good people, El.
I’m
not a good
person.”

“But you didn’t have any other choice,” she says.
“That’s what you told me.”

“I didn’t.” I sigh. “But that doesn’t
make it any safer for you. I can’t get you caught up in this.
Elena, I swear, if anything were to happen—”

“Jesus, Lennox, it’s fine. Yeah, the McManuses are
creepy, but so what? I’ve dealt with creeps before. Deal with
them constantly at the shop, and at the races. I’m not scared—I
know how it is.” She glances down. “As for my uncle . . .
I don’t know. I think he’ll come around. We just have to
give it time.”

But her cheerful tone sounds forced. She’s as unsure about
Drazic as I am. I wonder, even if I told him what really went down,
if it could change anything. If there’s anything I could do to
win his approval back. Probably not.

I reach for her, cradling her head in my hands. She’s so
beautiful, lined in silvery moonlight, her eyes and mouth dark and
inviting. I want nothing more than to lose myself in her. But I have
to think about consequences. That’s always been my problem—I’ve
been too quick to act or agree to something without really thinking
the repercussions through.

“I love you,” I whisper.

“Then what else matters?” she asks.

I can’t stand it any longer. I tangle my fingers in her long,
silky hair and pull her close for a kiss. She tastes like the sweet
desert air; her hands are warm and soothing as she runs them along my
chest. I’ve only gotten a small taste of the incredible woman
she’s grown up to be, and I want to know more. I slide one hand
over her breast, my thumb tracing a circle around her nipple, and
move my mouth to her throat. Suck at the delicate skin there, sweet
as nectar.

Elena gasps for breath. Her fingers are running dangerously close
down the front of my shirt, and she locks them around my belt buckle.
I groan and shift, my erection straining against the fly of my jeans.