"Nothing." Her forced smile was unpleasant to look at.
"You're totally not comfortable here, are you?"
Kess made a face. "What gave it away?" Cormac laughed, reaching a decision.
Kess shrugged. "I guess I'm more used to serving people in restaurants like this, not eating in one." She kept her voice soft, as if afraid of disturbing other diners.
He motioned their server over and asked for the check. Kess looked shocked, but he smiled at her. He paid the bill then helped her into her coat. "Then let's get out of here."
"Thank you."
He took her to Spanky's. It was a college eatery that specialized in enormous sandwiches, beer specials and epic milkshakes. It was also loud and busy, so there would be no way Kess could feel self-conscious or like she didn't fit in. You could be wearing a muumuu, a hat made of live marmosets and leading in a penguin and nobody would look at you twice.
They were tucked into a small booth along one of the side aisles of the restaurant. Kess looked immediately happier and more relaxed. "Much better," she breathed, a small smile on her face.
He rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. "Agreed." He smiled at her.
She looked up from her napkin. "Thank you for thinking to take me to such a nice place. Unfortunately, it's wasted on me."
He frowned. "Why do you talk about yourself that way? Nothing is wasted on you."
She didn't answer him, instead opening up her menu to take a look at what was offered. It was an effective way of changing the subject. She was good at that. "This is much more like it. What's good?"
Cormac told her what he usually got, with the warning, "It's pretty big." At her look, he grinned. "Right. I keep forgetting. You've got an appetite like I do."
"And I'm starving."
They placed their orders, which included a chocolate milkshake for him and a strawberry one for her. The talked of this and that until their food came and then Cormac asked her what he'd been wanting to know since he'd found out she was a were.
"So what's it like for you?" He put his sandwich down.
"What's what like?" she asked around a mouthful of roast beef sandwich.
"You know. Being a cat."
She shrugged and he was beginning to learn that it was what she did when she either didn't want to answer or didn't have one. "I don't know. I've never had to explain it before. I would imagine it's a lot like what you feel when you're a wolf."
"Do you have to change at a certain time?"
Kess nodded. "No moon. But I can change any time, just like you. Are the legends true about werewolves? Do you go at the full moon?"
"Yeah. But we're weaker when there's no moon in the sky. You?"
"Same with us, except at full. I guess we come at the change from opposite sides." She took a sip of her milkshake and wound up sucking in her cheeks. Cormac smiled. The drink was so thick, Kess needed to use her spoon.
"I really want to know--what's it like being a leopard?"
Kess took another bite of her sandwich, a thoughtful look on her face. "It's weird. It's like I'm a passenger in my own head. I can grab the wheel at any time--I'm right there with my human thoughts--but I'm behind all of the instincts and urges that have nothing to do with what makes me human." She popped a potato chip in her mouth. "The cat doesn't take over or anything like that. It's like it just moves to the front and I move over and let it. Is it that way for you?"
He wrapped his hands around his milkshake glass to keep from grabbing her hand. He wanted to touch her, to be in physical contact whenever he was around her. "That's exactly how it is. But it's also like the wolf part is always there too--in the back of my head. So I'm never totally one or totally the other. Just different sides."
"Exactly."
He smiled. He'd never told another person who wasn't family what it was like for him when he changed. And he didn't even tell them because it seemed redundant. They knew what it was like. But being able to put it into words with her was different.
"The best thing is the chase," he explained. "There's nothing like going after a deer beneath the light of the full moon. I could run for hours on those nights. It's like being completely free. It's the best feeling in the world."
Kess looked uncomfortable. She fiddled with her spoon, picking up spoonfuls of milkshake and pouring them back in the glass. "What is it?" Cormac asked.
"I haven't spent a lot of time in leopard form since I left. It's too hard..."
Cormac waited, watching her face. It looked like she wanted to continue her thought, but she stopped, instead picking at her sandwich. He didn't know what to say, so he reached out and took her hand. She tensed, the muscles in her hand contracting as if she wanted to snatch it away, but after a moment, they relaxed beneath his soft grip. He rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." Being solitary had to be difficult for a number of reasons, the change being the least of them.
Kess threw him a relieved smile. She was about to say something else when he heard a familiar voice shout, "MAC!"
Finn appeared in front of their table, his arm around the waist of a tall blonde. "Hi Finn."
"And Kess! Well, this is a surprise." Cormac put his hand over his eyes, trying to will his cousin to be quiet. "I never thought--"
"Who's your friend?" Cormac interrupted, inclining his head to the girl. "I'm Cormac and this is Kess."
Finn introduced his date and Cormac promptly forgot her name. He didn't do it maliciously; Finn just went through so many girls that it didn't make sense to try and keep them straight. When Finn finally dated a girl for more than a month that would be when Cormac made a point to remember her name.
Kess was watching the new couple curiously, as though not entirely sure what to make of them. She sat there with a bemused expression on her face. Cormac tried to catch her eye, but Finn grabbed his arm.
"I need a minute with this guy. You don't mind, do you Kess?" Before Kess could say anything, Finn had pulled him from the booth and over to a corner.
"What?" Cormac had no idea why Finn had interrupted his date, but hoped it was for something important and not just for a practical joke.
"Did you talk to your dad today?"
Cormac felt his stomach plummet to his feet. "No, not yet. Why?"
"One of the pack found something on the Parkway. Claw marks on some trees. Maybe a mountain lion or something bigger, but here's the weird thing--there was no scent. Nothing that could tell us what kind of animal it was. You run across anything like that?"
Cormac fought to keep his emotions off of his face. This is what he'd been dreading, but it was happening a lot sooner than he'd expected. He thought about telling Finn who and what Kess was but decided against it. If he was going to tell anyone, it should be the Alpha and Cormac wasn't ready to do that yet. What if his dad decided Kess was a threat and asked her to leave the territory? He didn't want to be the reason she was sent running again. "No, not that I remember."
"They said your scent was on the path. Thought maybe you had been out there and noticed something."
"I was out there a couple of nights ago, but it was clear. No sign of anything. But if there was no scent, I wouldn't have caught it anyway." Crap. He was in deep water now; if his father asked him outright, he'd have no choice but to tell him about Kess. He couldn't keep news of her from his father forever.
"Okay. Just figured I'd ask." Finn slapped him on the back.
"I'll keep an eye out next time." He tried for light and unconcerned, but felt like he failed miserably.
Finn didn't appear to notice anything wrong though. "So you finally got her to go out with you. How'd you manage that?" Finn sounded surprised and happy, and maybe just a little bit envious.
Cormac extricated himself from under his cousin's hand and walked back to the table with him. He didn't feel like joking about anything right now. He wanted to think. But banter was expected with Finn. "I hit her with a tranq dart and brainwashed her."
"That's the only way you could get someone that good looking." They had made it back to the girls and Finn collected his date from the table. "Come on, babe." Finn turned to Kess. "Always a pleasure." Kess nodded at him and then Finn and his date were gone.
"What was that about?" Kess was looking at him intently.
Cormac ran a hand through his hair, moving it down his head to rub the back of his neck. "Finn had some news for me."
"That doesn't sound good." Her brows were drawn down and it made Cormac want to rub smooth the little wrinkle between them.
He shook his head. "It's not. Someone in the pack ran across my scent on the Parkway from the other night and your claw marks on a tree." At the worry on her face, he tried to reassure her, "We're still in the clear, but I don't have much time before I have to tell my dad something." He paused, thinking of what Finn said. "It's pretty good for us that you don't leave a scent marker."
"Makes me harder to track--all the leopards in my clan have that though." She worried her napkin into papery bits, looking down at the sliver of sandwich that was left on her plate. "Cormac, I think you can't put off telling your father about me."
"I know and I will. And it will be soon. I just want to make sure it's the right time when I do." That wasn't the reason, but he didn't want to tell Kess that. He didn't want to spook her. She wasn't a threat to their pack, but he had to make sure his dad saw it that way. His father could be unbending sometimes. Cormac had to handle this exactly right.
"I don't want you getting in trouble over me."
"Don't worry about it." He smiled at her, trying to appear far more confident than he felt. "Look, there are a couple of spots on the backside of the mountain that I can show you that should be safe if you need to change. The pack doesn't have much reason to go out that far, so you shouldn't run across anyone. That should keep the questions to a minimum, at least until I tell my father about you."
She gave him a dubious look. He smiled even bigger, trying to reassure her. It was no good. Her eyes went someplace distant and Cormac knew that the lightness from earlier in the evening was gone. They sat in silence for a few more minutes before he grabbed the check and got them out of there.
On the walk to his Jeep, he took her hand again. He kept it on the drive back to her boarding house. He'd sneak glances at her as she stared out the window. So he wasn't surprised when she turned to him and said, "I don't like this."
"My driving?" He knew what she was talking about, but wanted to tease her.
She smacked his arm. "No, not your driving. This whole situation." Kess flapped a hand to indicate the two of them and the world outside the Jeep. "The longer you keep me a secret from your father, the worse it's going to look."
Cormac nodded. That was true. He knew he was dancing along a very fine line with how long he could wait before telling his father--no, telling the Alpha. "Do you want me to tell him now?"
Kess leaned back against the seat. Cormac pulled them into the parking lot of the boarding house and turned to look at her. She'd pulled her hair forward and was running long fingers through the black strands. "I don't know what I want you to do." She sounded frustrated.
He waited. He knew he had precious little to take to his father that would work in Kess' favor besides Cormac vouching for her. He didn't know where she came from—not really—and he didn't know what kind of family problems she was running from. He believed her, but his father was going to need more, especially with his new mandate about unknown weres. She could either come clean with Cormac or answer the pack Alpha's questions directly. Cormac had a feeling that talking to him was the more preferable of the options. But she needed time, and that was something they didn't have a lot of.
"I'll do whatever you want, Kess." He didn't want to push her, afraid it might send her running.
She continued with her finger-combing, as she struggled with her decision. Again, Cormac was fascinated by the play of emotion across her face that tracked to her internal debate. Her brow twitches, her eyes narrowing and widening, her mouth going hard and then relaxing—it was like watching a wolf's face and reading that language of expression. Finally, Kess' face smoothed out, her decision made. "You know your father. If you think it's best to wait, I'll follow your lead." She looked down at her hands. "But I don't like that it's your ass on the line with the Alpha."
It's both our asses, really. Cormac knew she wasn't happy with him putting himself on the line with his pack for her. He wasn't either, but he thought what he could have with Kess was worth it.
He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He was tired of talking about pack business. Finn's sudden appearance had already put a damper on the evening. "Tonight didn't go exactly as I'd planned. Care to try again? And this time, I promise no cousins interrupting, no fancy restaurants--just you and me and dinner somewhere quiet."
"Okay." She leaned against him. "But tonight wasn't all bad." There was something sly in her voice.
"Really? I mean, nobody spontaneously combusted so I guess that goes in the win column, but it wasn't one for the record books."