Let Me Be the One (8 page)

“Not to piss you off, Logan, but your girl is the only one I want to curl up with that my wife will let me, if you know what I mean.” Jason winked and glanced away.

“Some of her books are hot,” Brian said, staring at his bottle and beginning to blush. “Nothing dirty in ‘em, but sometimes…wow.”

“She wrote Logan a porno,” Greg said.

Jason focused on Logan. Brian peered into his bottle, blushing harder.

“It was…nothing,” Logan said helplessly. He didn’t think Suzi would be happy to know he was talking about her like this. But Suzi was probably on the other side of the mountain. She didn’t need to know.

“Nothing! Shit man, it was hot. It’s the next book, isn’t it? The one she just finished?” Greg seemed to have scented the advantage, too.

“So she’s just as hot as she seems,” Jason encouraged.

Logan remembered idolizing these guys when
Trigger Finger
came out. He’d wanted to be them. He’d tried to duplicate their stage clothes and worn their tour T-shirt until it fell apart. When Savitar’s first album came out, he’d wanted to impress them. He still did. It was like being back in high school, trying to get in with the cool guys. If he couldn’t do it with his music, then he sure could with his girlfriend. “In bed, Suzi is a demon. In bed, on the floor, against the wall. Anyplace we can get a little leverage.” He grinned. Then he saw Greg’s eyes flicker over his head.

Logan turned around to his worst nightmare. Suzi stood three feet behind his chair, frozen in mid-step, face pale against her dark hair. A smile still melting off her face. “Hey sugar,” he croaked.

The words brought her back to life. She spun around and sprinted toward the woods. Logan lunged after her. If they thought he was whipped, then fine. He could handle being whipped by Suzi. A tree branch slashed him across the face.

For a small chick, she was fast. All that jogging was paying off. She was halfway up the trail before his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. He set off after her at a flat run, watching in amazement as she vaulted a downed tree. How did she move so fast? And where the hell did she plan to go? Jumping over the tree, he caught up to her. He grabbed her arm, only hoping to stop her, but she swung around and slapped him so hard his eyes watered.

“How dare you?” she snarled.

“Look, I was stupid. I didn’t mean—”

“You were discussing our sex life with strangers.”

“They’re not really strangers, and I wasn’t discussing—”

“How am I supposed to trust you now?”

She hadn’t raised her voice, and she didn’t sound as if she was about to cry. Relief accompanied that realization, but guilt followed the relief. He hated when women cried. “I’m sorry. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but I didn’t think you’d ever know.”

“And that makes it okay?”

“Well, no, but it’s just the way guys talk.”

Suzi bared her teeth, sucking a breath through them, making her face an unnaturally ugly mask. Then she closed her eyes. All the expression melted away. Somehow, that was worse than the fury. “I’m going home.”

“You’re leaving me?” Logan asked. She couldn’t leave him. He needed her too much to let her go now.

“No, I’m going back to the guest house.” She scowled at him. “Where else would I go?”

“Home to LA?”

“That’s your house.”

“But it’s yours, too.”

“Ms. Bazian!”

Logan turned to the voice. Jason was jogging along the path. A few paces behind him were Brian and Greg. He wanted them all to go away. He needed to talk to Suzi alone. There was something seriously weird happening in this conversation, and he needed to figure out what so he could fix it.

“It’s my fault, Ms. Bazian,” Jason said. “I am a total fucking jerk.”

“It’s all right,” Suzi said coolly. “I shouldn’t have shown up uninvited.”

“But you’re always welcome, Ms. Bazian,” Brian said.

She put up a placating hand and backed up a step. “Please, call me Suzi.”

“Come on back, Suzi. We’ll get you a drink.” Greg reached out as if to put his arm around her shoulders, but stopped short. Even he could sense the glacial chill surrounding her.

“Thank you, no. I’m going to take a walk. Good night.” She turned and walked away.

“Sorry man,” Jason muttered. “Thought I could make it better. Come on back. You can sleep at my house tonight.”

“No. I think I better talk to her. Thanks.” Logan touched his cheek, which was now stinging. Her nails had scratched when she slapped him. He started up the mountain after her. Up the mountain. She couldn’t have picked a nice walk around. No. Up.

“Suzi…sugar, if I knew how much it was going to hurt you, I wouldn’t have said anything.” Liar. He’d known, and he’d said, anyway. He’d just thought he could get away with it.
Note to self: you can’t get away with it, whatever it is.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Suzi.” He caught up to her, but she veered off the path, crunching through fallen sticks and last year’s leaves. “Sugar, please listen to me.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’ve already apologized and been forgiven.”

“I don’t feel forgiven.”

She leaned against a tree. “Then maybe you have more guilt than I can forgive. I can’t leave you. Isn’t that enough?”

“What do you mean you can’t leave me?”

“I’m here. I picked you. I abandoned everything for you. I have nowhere else to go.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I moved out of my parents’ house and stopped speaking to them because of you. I transferred to UCLA to be with you. I gave up everything I knew for you, and all you can do is brag to your friends about what a good lay I am.”

“It was a mistake. You didn’t hear the whole conversation.” Hopefully.

“Suzi is a demon in bed. In bed, on the floor, anywhere we can get a little leverage.”

“They wanted to know what you were like. They were asking me questions.”

“So you told them I was a nymphomaniac?”

Logan scratched his head. This tack was not working. “They like you Suzi.”

“I’m sure they do.”

“No, I’m serious. They were talking about you like you’re Paul McCartney. Brian’s been trying to figure out what to say to you.”

She frowned and dropped her gaze to the ground. “Don’t tease me.”

Logan stepped forward and cupped her cheek. She didn’t deck him, so he thought he might have a chance. “I’m not.”

“They always act so strange when I stop in. Brian Ellis hasn’t said ten words to me the entire time.”

“He said he’s read your books three times.”

She stared up through her lashes. “He has?”

“Or more. He mentioned
the one about bats.”

“
Bats With Baby Faces
?”

He eased closer, letting his body brush along hers. Sex always worked with her. If he could just keep her drugged with sex, he’d be able to hang onto her. “Yeah,
Bats With Baby Faces
. They really like you and I was—I was trying to impress them with the fact that you like me. You missed the part where I was telling them how smart and funny you are.” Logan kissed the corner of her mouth. Telling her they liked her books meant she’d be more likely to hang around the studio. It was a risk he had to take. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to brag about my sugar a little. You’re just so great. So smart and beautiful and hot.”

Suzi turned into his lips. “You told them I was smart and funny?”

“They can see that you’re beautiful.”

She was going to forgive him. He was going to pull this one out of the fire. Logan slipped his hand under her shirt to cup her breast. “Come on, sugar. Let’s go back to the cabin, and I’ll show you how sorry I am. Unless you want me to show you right now.”

“Right now?” Her eyes were hazy.

“Yes, right now.” He licked her lips and unbuttoned her jeans with his free hand. His fingers strayed inside the waistband, touching the soft skin of her belly. “You are beautiful and smart and talented. Every man in the world wants to take you away from me.”

“I only want you.” Suzi laced her fingers through his hair as she kicked away her jeans.

Logan fumbled with his own zipper. Every time he was with her, everything went out the window. All he ever wanted to do was drown in her. “I’m supposed to be begging your forgiveness.”

“I’ll always forgive you, Logan.” She hoisted herself up his body, shoving his jeans down with her feet.

“Always?” He buried himself inside her. She was hot and rich. Her mouth closed over his, stealing his breath. She would always forgive him.

Always.

* * * *

Suzi clutched Logan’s hand as they walked up the stairs and across the lawn to the studio. Greg trailed behind them like some kind of warped honor guard. According to Logan, Greg had done his fair share of defaming her the previous night, and she hadn’t decided yet how to cope with that. The kitchen door opened, and Jason and Brian walked out, followed by the sound of a screaming baby. Jason was on the phone, but gave her a bright smile. “No, I understand. It’s just, Cassie needs a break, and her mom and dad were up with her all night, too.”

Brian changed direction and headed for them. “You’re still here,” he said. His blue eyes were brighter than she’d ever seen and his fingers were tapping out a nervous rhythm on his jeans leg. Ordinary Levi’s, Buckcherry T-shirt. No showing off in his wardrobe, but the way the fabric stretched across his body drew her eyes.

He couldn’t possibly have been that concerned about her and Logan’s fight last night. She was just the girlfriend of the guitarist in an up-and-coming band. Unless he was as nice as she’d assumed from his press.

“Yes.”

Jason hung up his phone and joined them.

“You looked mad last night,” Brian said. “We thought you might catch the first flight out.”

Suzi glanced at Logan. He’d been certain about that, too, but she still had no idea where he thought she was going to go. After they’d had sex, they’d gone back to the cabin, walking through the woods to avoid being seen. Then they’d spent all night clinging to one another. “No. Is something wrong?”

“Andi’s sick again, and she’s keeping Cassie up.”

“Maybe I can help.” Hopefully. Suzi crossed her fingers behind her back. “I’m good with babies.” She’d been trying to find a way to chat with Cassie since she’d arrived but hadn’t found the opportunity. Logan kept telling her not to worry about it. Cassie was in her hometown with her baby. She was busy. The one time Suzi had said hello, Cassie had been strapping Andi into a baby seat on her way out.

“Can’t hurt to try,” Jason said. “She’s in the kitchen.”

“I’ll tag along,” Brian said.

“You will?” Jason took a step backward. “I mean, have at it. More power to ya.”

Logan kissed her cheek. “Have fun, babe.”

Suzi headed to the house with Brian trailing behind her while the others headed toward the studio. As she reached up to knock at the door, Brian leaned around her and opened it. Cass sat at the table with her head in her hands listening to Andi wail. She glanced up as the door opened.

“I’m sorry. This is not a good time,” Cass said. “I have my hands full.”

“I came to see if I could help.” Suzi stepped inside the door and stopped. Brian crowded behind her, causing an awkward flutter in her belly. Either he was following her or he wanted to spend more time with the unhappy baby.

“Unless you have some kind of magic spell to put babies to sleep, I doubt you can do anything.”

Suzi walked over to the high chair and studied the baby. Andi was red faced and sweaty from crying. “Jason said she’d been sick.”

“She was over it before we flew out here, but now her sleep schedule is screwed up again from the time change, and she hates to sleep, anyway.” Cass sat with her chin resting in her palm. Brian had taken a seat opposite the high chair and sat with his long legs stretched out in front of him and his arms folded.

A challenge. One she had a fifty percent chance of losing. She never should have put herself in this position. She unstrapped the baby and checked her diaper. Clean.

“I just changed her,” Cass said.

“I figured, but it never hurts to check the obvious, right?” Suzi set Andi on the floor in the hopes that she just wanted to be free range. That worked some of the time. Andi waddled around the room, still crying, but not stopping anywhere. Poor kid looked like she was lost at the county fair. Suzi picked her up and walked around the room humming tonelessly. Andi started to scream louder. Suzi turned her around so she could see her mother. That reduced the screaming, but didn’t stop it.

“Maybe I should just take her.” Cassie started to stand.

“Let me try one more thing.” Suzi pondered. She had a couple more tricks. Which one had the best chance of working? After sitting at the table with Andi on her knee facing her mother, Suzi leaned back on the chair and rested Andi against her. Andi reduced to sniffling.

“She’s been inconsolable for days.” Cass rubbed her hand through her red curls. “The only time she stops crying is when she’s asleep. I don’t know how Jason sleeps through it.”

“Practice,” Brian said. He still had no good reason to be here. Putting fussy babies to sleep was a neat trick, but it couldn’t be that interesting. Not when there was music being made fifty feet away.

Andi’s sniffles subsided to the occasional hitch in breathing.

“I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to talk to you,” Cassie said. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I’ve just been very busy.”

“I understand.” Suzi brushed Andi’s dark hair off her face.

“I’ve read all your books. I can’t believe how many you’ve published, in what? Two years? That’s amazing.”

“Most of them are novellas. It doesn’t take nearly as long to write and edit a thirty thousand word manuscript as it does a ninety thousand word book.”

“I guess not. You pack a lot of action into a little space, though. I always feel like I’ve read a full-length novel when I finish one of yours. Are you going to write any real books?”

Suzi blew her bangs off her forehead. Someday, she was going to get over being asked that question. Her books were real. They were just electronic. “I have an agent talking to traditional publishers about print rights.”

“How interesting. I’d never heard of you until this last Christmas when Brian gave me an e-reader with all your books on it.”