Lethal Bayou Beauty (21 page)

When she’d arrived, the trunk had been taped shut with duct tape, but for the sake of simplicity, I was now scrunched into one side of the trunk, clutching a rope that held down the trunk. Every time Ida Belle hit a bump on the crappy road leading to Sinful, the trunk, the rope, and I flew up about a foot.

It felt like I’d been bumping around in the trunk for hours when I heard a police siren. I prayed that it wasn’t for us, but every second that passed, the sound got louder. Finally, the car swerved to the right and I heard the crunch of gravel, indicating that Ida Belle had pulled over on the shoulder of the road.

“Just stay cool!” Gertie yelled.

“Stop yelling! Ida Belle yelled.

Carefully, I inched forward and peered through the broken keyhole. It was my worst nightmare confirmed—Carter climbed out of his truck and walked toward the Cadillac.

“Good afternoon, ladies,” he said. “You want to tell me where you’ve been?”

“Not particularly,” Ida Belle said.

“Let’s try again,” he said. “Tell me where you’ve been.”

“I can’t see that it’s any of your business,” Ida Belle said.
 

“Yeah,” Gertie threw in. “We’re not breaking the law.”

“Now, that’s debatable, because this car is probably in violation of something, but I pulled you over because I suspect you know and/or are involved in the disappearance of Miss Morrow.”

“Fortune’s disappeared?” Ida Belle’s pretend shock was impressive.

“Maybe she was kidnapped by aliens,” Gertie threw in.

“If anything,” Deputy LeBlanc said, “she was confiscated by two old ladies who seem to take pleasure in causing me grief.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ida Belle said.

“Who are you calling old?” Gertie retorted.

I shook my head.

“Then if you two aren’t up to anything,” Deputy LeBlanc continued, “You won’t have any problem opening the trunk.”

“Do you have a warrant?” Ida Belle asked.

Good girl!

“Do I need one?” Deputy LeBlanc asked. “Because I can keep you sitting here on the side of the road while I get one. It might take a couple of hours, and I imagine we’d all be pretty hungry by then, not to mention needing to use the restroom, but if that’s the way you want to play it...”

“Okay,” Ida Belle said. “But Judge Poteet is having liposuction and telling everyone he’s in Cancun. He’ll come back white as a sheet and jiggling a bit less, so I doubt anyone’s going to buy it. And Judge Aubry is at his mistress’s house in Mississippi, but he told his wife he’s going to a law conference in Baton Rouge.”

Nice!

For several seconds, only silence carried back to the trunk, and I smiled, imaging the look of aggravation and dismay that Deputy LeBlanc was likely wearing.
 

“Fine,” Deputy LeBlanc said finally. “I want the two of you to go home, but you haven’t heard the last of this. If I find out that you transported Miss Morrow outside of Sinful, there’s going to be hell to pay.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ida Belle said and started up the car.

I let out a sigh of relief, but it came a second too soon.

Chapter Seventeen

The weak floorboard gave way and I dropped out of the trunk and onto the shoulder of the road, collapsed in a heap. Ida Belle, completely unaware that the trunk had finally given way, tore off from the shoulder of the road, scattering a wave of gravel and dirt over me.

I covered my head with my arms to protect myself from the onslaught, then a shadow fell over me. I looked up at the clearly angry Deputy LeBlanc.

“I don’t know whether to throw you in jail or a mental institution.”

At the moment, I wasn’t sure about the correct choice, either.

“Is this multiple choice?” I asked. “If so, is there a third option?”

He extended his hand down to me and pulled me upright. “Yeah, option three is where I arrest all three of you and let you sit in jail until Judge Poteet is recovered from his secret liposuction or Judge Aubry’s mistress gets bored and makes him leave.”

A screech of brakes echoed back at us, and we looked over to see the Cadillac slide to a stop, then begin backing up.
 

Deputy LeBlanc shook his head. “I’ll say this for them—they won’t desert a sinking ship.”

Ida Belle stopped the car a couple feet away from me, then she and Gertie jumped out and rushed over. Deputy LeBlanc glanced at them, then did a double-take at Gertie’s dirt-streaked face.

“Are you hurt?” Ida Belle asked as Gertie walked around me, lifting my arms and inspecting me for injuries.

“I’m fine—just a little dusty.”

“Your hands are bleeding,” Gertie said and turned my palms up where I could see.
 

“It’s just a couple of nicks. I’ll be fine.”

“You could have been killed!” Deputy LeBlanc exploded. “What would have happened if you’d fallen through that trunk when Ida Belle was doing sixty down this highway?”

“Oh,” Gertie said, “my car hasn’t done sixty in well over a decade.”

Deputy LeBlanc glared. “Even at twenty miles an hour, she could have been seriously hurt.” He pointed his finger at Ida Belle and Gertie. “Now, I’ve already determined that the two of you either have a death wish or have lost all good sense, but what floors me is how you’ve managed to convince someone new in town to go along with your shenanigans.”

“Oh, well, that was easy,” Gertie said.

Ida Belle elbowed her. “We didn’t convince her to do anything but take a ride to the antique shops in Mudbug.”

“Uh-huh.” Deputy LeBlanc didn’t look the least bit convinced. “Then why is her face so dirty?” He pointed at Gertie.

“Those shops are filthy,” Gertie said. “I reached for a pillow on top of a shelf and brought a whole stack of old quilts along with their dust down on me. I tried to clean it off with baby wipes, but it streaked.”

He narrowed his eyes. “If you’re not up to something, then why was Miss Morrow hiding in the trunk?”

I threw my hands up in the air. “Because you told me not to leave town, but I’m tired of being physically assaulted with iced tea and verbally assaulted by every dimwit in this town. There are a
lot
of dimwits.”

“That’s true.”

“She has a point.”
 

Ida Belle and Gertie spoke at once.

“The truth is,” Gertie said to Deputy LeBlanc, “we knew you’d get your panties in a wad if you found out Fortune left town, especially with us. But she needed a break from this place and by God, we saw that she got it.”

Deputy LeBlanc raised his eyebrows. “Panties?”

Gertie waved a hand in dismissal. “Boxers, briefs…heck, you may go commando for all we know. Apparently, that’s popular these days.”

“Uh-huh. So if I call these antique shops, they’ll verify that you were there today?”

“How the heck should we know?” Ida Belle asked. “The clerks in those stores are as old as their merchandise. I can’t vouch for their memory.”

“Are you going to arrest us, or what?” Gertie asked. “If so, I need to call Marie and tell her to record the movie on Lifetime for me.”

He stared at each of us, taking several seconds apiece to study our faces, but he was up against a trained professional and two of the best retired liars I’d ever met. We weren’t giving up a thing.

Finally he blew out a breath. “It would be better on you to tell me what you’re up to, because I’m going to find out.”

“We were just taking a break,” Ida Belle said.

Gertie nodded. “Enjoying some of the summer greenery.”

I choked back a laugh and nodded.
 

“I give up,” he said. “Get in that car and get back to Sinful. I want
all
of you in the seats.” He looked directly at me. “And no more leaving Sinful until I’ve sorted this Pansy mess out. Understand?”

“Loud and clear,” I said and hurried to the car.
 

I looked back at Deputy LeBlanc as we drove away, certain we’d just made things much worse for Ally.

###

It took me an hour to get Ally on the phone. In an effort to relax, she’d gone fishing, which for Ally translated into sleeping in her boat, so she hadn’t heard her cell phone ringing. I gave her a brief rundown of our findings in Pansy’s journal and our trip to New Orleans, leaving out the more dramatic details.
 

“I’m so sorry, Ally,” I said. “I never wanted you involved, but I don’t see any way around it if we want the evidence to stand up in court.”

“It’s all right,” she said. “I figured everything would come out eventually.”

“That’s not necessarily true,” I said. “It doesn’t have to come out unless it goes to court. We need to arrange to speak to Deputy LeBlanc in private. I think I can convince him to keep this quiet until absolutely necessary.”

“I don’t want you in any more trouble than you already are,” Ally argued. “I’ll tell Carter it was all my idea.”

“No. I won’t let you do that.”

“Well, I’m not about to let you do it. You’re already a suspect and the bottom line is I’m the one who stole the journal and it was my idea to do so. Carter doesn’t need to know I had help.”

“At least let me go with you. You shouldn’t have to do this by yourself. After all, you did it for me.”

“I don’t know…won’t people wonder if you and I stroll into the police department and ask to talk to Carter?”

I frowned. She had a point.
 

“Hold on,” I said and explained the situation to Ida Belle and Gertie.
 

“We can meet in the back room at the General Store,” Ida Belle said promptly. “I’ll call Walter and set it up.”

“Won’t Walter mind us using his store for sordid business?” I asked, not bothering to argue with the “we” part of her statement. I knew arguing with her was futile.

“We do it all the time,” Ida Belle said and punched in Walter’s number on her cell phone.

I didn’t even want to know what kind of sordid business Ida Belle conducted in Walter’s store on a regular basis, so I just waited until she finished the phone call.

“He said you can come now,” Ida Belle said. “Tell Ally to take her boat and go in the back entrance. We can enter by the front. Walter will call Carter when you’re both in position.”

“Did you get all that?” I asked Ally.

“Yep. I’m heading that way. Make sure you bring the journal.”

“Right,” I said and hung up the phone. “Gertie, can your purse handle transporting the journal to the General Store?”

“It’s on its last leg, but I think it can handle the journal.”

“Good, then I’ll need one more ride in your car. Marge’s Jeep doesn’t have a top and I don’t want to risk another demented citizen attack on my way to the store.”

Gertie stuffed the journal into her handbag and we headed out.

We were the first to arrive at the store and my curiosity was piqued when Walter escorted us to a back room without question, then said, “Let me know when to call for Carter.”

He closed the door behind us and I looked over at Ida Belle.

“He’s not going to ask why we’re meeting like this?”

“Heck no,” Ida Belle said. “Walter learned a long time ago that it was better not knowing what we were up to.”

Gertie nodded. “Knowing means you might be called to testify.”

“Just how often are the two of you involved in things that might require the other to testify?”

“Well, I don’t really have a number,” Ida Belle said vaguely.

“Probably once a week or better,” Gertie said. “Every day if you take into account that we’re running moonshine as cough medicine.”

“But Walter sells the cough medicine in his store,” I pointed out.
 

“Yes, but he’s never drunk any,” Gertie said. “That way, he can always say he didn’t know.”

Ida Belle nodded. “Plausible deniability is a useful thing in Sinful.”

I shook my head. “You people should be in DC. You could give them a run for their money.”

Ida Belle waved a hand in dismissal. “Politicians are boring. Most of them are only average intelligence, if that, and their motives are clearly defined by self-interest. No challenge really when someone’s walking around wearing their weak spot on their fake smile.”

She had a point.
 

The door opened and Ally stepped inside. Walter poked his head in after her.

“You ready for that call?”

“We’re ready,” I said. No sense putting it off any longer.

Walter ducked back out and Gertie pulled the journal from her handbag and handed it to Ally.
 

“Are you sure we’re ready?” Gertie asked. “Don’t we need to get our stories straight first?”

“No!” Ally said. “I don’t want Carter even knowing you helped. There’s no sense all of us being in trouble.”

“But—” I began.