Letters and Lace (The Ronan's Harbor Series) (25 page)

“She doesn’t love that dude.”

“How can you even say that?”

“We, uh, well…I was in New York not long ago.”

“You were?” Something inside her twisted around and cinched into a knot.

“We spent some time together.
We had dinner, that’s all. But, it was enough.”

“When was this?” The hinge of Sarah’s slacked jaw ached.
What the hell was he saying?

“In hindsight I see that the words I wrote to you could have been misconstrued.”

Benny harrumphed.

“My coworker pointed that out to me when I told her about what I’d said in my notes.”

“You mean that girl that was in your shop the night Mrs. Allen and I were there?”

“Mara, yes. After you left I confessed it all to her. I told her how it was my plan to explain everything to you right then and there, but I couldn’t get you alone for a minute. Mrs. Allen likes to talk.”

A wry smile formed on Sarah’s face. This was just so bizarre. She sipped the beer again, surprised at how much she enjoyed it.

“Look, kid,” Benny said. “Why didn’t you just say what you meant?”

Jeremy shrugged. “I thought for sure Mrs. Grayson would know what it was about.” He turned his attention to Sarah. “You remember when Hannah was about to leave for college, and she broke off our relationship? I knew it wasn’t you that convinced her to break up.”

Sarah turned to Benny. “My ex-husband wanted Hannah to go off to school
unencumbered
.”

“Do you remember what you said to me that day?” Jeremy asked.

“No.” She wracked her brain for the memory. She did recall the day. But, she’d been consumed with her baby girl going off to be an adult, beginning her life and the future that she deserved.

Jeremy had helped carry Hannah’s boxes to the minivan, his shoulders slumped with resignation. Silent and dazed, like two robots, each of them had gone back and forth into the house to retrieve her belongings.

When they had been about ready to leave, Hannah and Jeremy stood facing each other. Sarah now remembered the lurch of her own heart when they’d folded into a desperate embrace.

Gary, barking orders to hurry, had done his best to end the moment with as much finality as the swing of an axe.

The two kids with tear-filled eyes had whispered softly to each other. Jeremy had unabashedly caressed Hannah’s hair in spite of her father’s obnoxious rants for her to get in the car because traffic would become a nightmare soon.

Hannah had climbed into the back seat and Jeremy gently closed the door, leaving his hand a moment to linger on the handle. He had turned to Sarah to say goodbye.

The words came to Sarah now as if written in ink on a sheet of shell-themed stationery. Before she could say them aloud, Jeremy spoke.

“After you told me that our time apart didn’t have to mean forever, you said something else.”

“The same wind that extinguishes a spark can also stoke a fire.” The words escaped from her lips in a whisper.

Jeremy smiled. His eyes brimmed with tears. “Yes.”

Her eyes floated to Benny’s. Their gaze locked on old words of reassurance remembered by a man with an unwavering heart. Sarah swallowed hard. Who knew that random wisdom could serve as a boomerang?

“I love her.” Jeremy said again. It was a simple statement, but powerful to Sarah’s ears.

“Jeremy,” she said. Her throat ached. “Hannah’s getting married. I really didn’t expect this at all. I mean, honestly that night in your shop I had the feeling you and your coworker were…”

“Mara?” He laughed. “Um, she’s gay.”

“She is?”

“Yeah. As a matter of fact she thought Mrs. Allen was hot. You know, for someone, uh, older.”

Benny grabbed another beer. “And
that
calls for number two.”

“Jeremy this is crazy.”

“Sometimes the truth is crazy.”

Silence befell them. Her eyes found Benny’s again. They shared a forceful stare before Benny quickly pulled his eyes away and chugged his beer. Sarah took a second bottle into her hand and gave the last one to Jeremy.

Jeremy took a long swig before turning his attention to Benny. “I only left you a note because any time I tried to explain to Mrs. Grayson you seemed to be around. I’ve made a big fat mess out of this.”

Sarah’s head filled with more than Jeremy and Hannah’s parting moments. Her mind flashed with snippets of the two kids’ obvious camaraderie, the ease of their interactions, their connectedness. And, too, she recalled their palpable attraction.

At the time she’d worried about their physical involvement, hoping they’d behaved responsibly. But, there’d been no denying the magnetism between Jeremy and Hannah.

She’d known it at a level of her being the same way she’d known she and her husband did not share that, and never had.

She thought of Hannah and Ian. Did they share that same kind of love? If they did, she didn’t see it.

Actually, wasn’t it just recently she’d noticed a detachment in her daughter? Stoicism in Ian? Would what they shared have the power to sustain itself over time? Did they have the spark needed to withstand any wind? What stoked them?

She’d drained her second beer. The affect was a combination of the warmth of nostalgia and something else that had begun on a dance floor with Benny Benedetto. She let her eyes filter to him. His eyes were already on her, waiting.

“Jeremy, your approach in all this wasn’t great,” she said.

“Sucked, is more like it.” Benny downed the rest of his beer.

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

She held up her hands. “Okay, stop apologizing. That aside, I am concerned about how this will affect Hannah’s life. She’s scheduled to get married in a few weeks.”

She swallowed hard. “I mean, you had dinner
one
night. You might be setting yourself up for major disappointment.”

Benny surprised her by asking, “Do you think she’s totally happy, Sarah? I mean, I was here when she found that necklace.”

Jeremy gave a broad grin and Sarah felt a jab in her heart. Beer also had a way of bringing honesty to her surface.

Hannah deserved honesty from her. And, she deserved it from Jeremy, no matter the outcome. It sure as hell wasn’t her job to keep anything else from her daughter.

“I think you need to talk with Hannah.”

A still-soggy Jeremy gave her a hug and muttered a thank you. Then he walked around to Benny and offered his hand, which Benny tentatively took into a handshake.

“And, please, kid, do us all a favor. Tell her in person. Skip the notes,” Benny said.

And Jeremy was gone through the door, into the night, a gust of wind blowing into the room in his wake.

Alone with each other and nothing left to drink, no one else to focus on, Sarah and Benny found each other’s gazes. The burst of air that engulfed them did not chill her but rather acted as a bellows to the flame she could no longer deny.

She reached for the used towels, bundling them into her arms in a desperate attempt to escape into busyness.

Zealousness had become her solace over the years. Her garden out back was testament to that. In springtime the Rembrandt Tulips would be ablaze with their yellow and red stripes. The bed of Esthers, pretty and pink with their silvery tips would glisten in the coming sunshine. A garden of respite from what she’d lacked.

But, tonight nothing could chase away the feelings that whirled in the air, sprouting in abundance.

Benny stepped around the island and came close. He had collected beer bottles into his fists, holding them by their necks.

“Where do these go?” he asked softly.

She pointed to the recycle bin. “Thank you.”

Benny placed the bottles into the receptacle then rinsed his hands at the sink drying them on a towel. Sarah watched and continued to hold the bunched towels in her hands like a terry bouquet. She needed to think, to break the spell that hovered over her.

“What do you think will happen now?” she asked, knowing the question was lame. How could Benny know?

He searched her face, his countenance soft, his eyes bathing her as if drinking her in.

She had no idea what repercussions Jeremy’s declaration would bring. But, she did know about the man standing just inches from her. Her heart, swollen with emotion, bursting with need, slammed rhythmically in her chest.

This was crazy. Everything was crazy right down to Jeremy Hudson and this whole night.

“I think what will happen is what’s supposed to.”

“Benny, the wedding’s right around the corner. This could become a fiasco.”

“I learned a long time ago, that just wanting something to work out doesn’t mean it will.”

She thought of all the time, the wasted days of her life, she’d spent trying and wanting her world to be what it wasn’t. She’d tried to be the woman Gary wanted her to be, to have the strong, united marriage she yearned for.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that came from her lips was a sad sigh.

“You know what?” he said in a gentle, soothing tone. “Let’s shut the lights down here, make sure the doors are locked, and then you can let me fix you some tea upstairs while you get a nice warm shower. I’ll send you off to beddy-bye, we’ll call it a night, and I’ll head on home.”

Have Benny join her upstairs in the solitude of her little apartment? Was that a good idea? She swallowed hard. She’d lost the ability to judge. But she was all too acutely aware of what she wanted.

“Come on up.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Upstairs, Sarah showed Benny around the kitchen so he could start the tea. She felt his eyes on her as she stepped up onto a small wooden stool and reached for the tea kettle from a shelf. She hopped down and found their proximity dangerously close.

She thrust the kettle at him. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get out of these soaking clothes.” A flush of heat climbed to her face. “Thanks for getting the tea started.”

She turned away and headed toward the short hallway to her room. “The teabags are in the cabinet to the left of the window,” she called over her shoulder.

Behind her closed door Sarah tugged off her damp, uncooperative pants while her mind reeled.

What would Hannah do with the news Jeremy would deliver? Was there some truth in what Jeremy said about the possibility of Hannah still loving him?

Sarah remembered how she’d found Hannah asleep on her bed wearing the opal necklace. She closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. All she’d ever wanted was for Hannah to be genuinely happy. The question was what did that mean now?

Whatever Hannah’s definition of happiness turned out to be was up to her. Sarah wet her parched lips. Yes,
her
job now was to let it go, stop worrying, trust her kid, and let Hannah do whatever felt right. Happiness deserved a chance and that started with the truth.

Her eyes focused on the closed door that shielded her from the rooms beyond and the man that was out there preparing tea. She swallowed hard. Could she follow her own advice?

After a quick shower she stood at her grandmother’s mirror for a quick assessment. Her drying hair had turned into a fluffy brown puff, looking like a brown chrysanthemum blossom. She collected the mass into a bunch and stuffed it into a rubber band.

She leaned in close to the glass and stared deeply into her eyes. Something was different. She blinked before opening them wide. Yes. It was there. Her own truth shone back at her like tiny pin dots of light. Her heart welled in her chest. Happiness deserved a chance.

****

Benny stood at the sink fiddling with the top of the kettle Sarah had handed him before disappearing down the hallway. He tried to keep from imagining what she was doing behind her closed door. But, his mind went there.

He liked that messy, caught-in-the-rain look she had tonight. The wetness in her hair made it curl around her face, framing it in a halo of softness. Her face, free of any makeup, boasted its appealing freckles.

Benny opened the cabinet in search of teabags and struck gold. Behind the tin marked “Blackberry Blend,” was a short squat bottle of blackberry brandy.

He grabbed a small saucepot from the drainer, abandoning the kettle. He made a concoction of tea, brandy and water, one that would warm their chilled skin. Inside his body was already a furnace of want.

Sarah came into the room wearing pale gray sweatpants and a matching pullover sweatshirt. She’d pulled her hair into a low ponytail that rested at her neck. He couldn’t help but notice the little ringlets that had escaped the fastener, appealingly decorating her hairline.

With hands shoved inside the kangaroo-looking pouch on the front of her shirt, Sarah came to where Benny stood hovering over the saucepot on the stove. She smelled fresh and clean like laundry off a clothesline.

“That’s different,” she said.

“Hope it’s okay I used a pot. I needed it to create this blend.”

She peered in as he stirred the contents. The slow circular action released a pungent, fruity aroma. The combination of the succulent scents and her nearness nearly buckled his knees.

“Smells delish. What’s in it?” she asked, standing dangerously close.

“Try it first, then I’ll tell you.”