Leverage (The Brannock Siblings) (8 page)

My lips parted, accommodating my accelerated breaths and his
eyes darkened, a low rumble sounded in his chest.

"I can't let anything happen to you," he said
roughly.

"I know you won't."

"If they see you… if they see
me
with you,
they'll know."

My heart was frantically pounding against my ribs, trying to
escape the clutches of my body and I was sure he could hear it. He moved closer
to me, his hard chest pinning me to the wall and his hips brushing ever so
slightly against mine.

"Know what, Lucas?" I breathed.

His eyes met mine again, almost reluctantly tearing away
from my mouth, and I saw it then. I saw what he was trying to tell me, what I
had been hoping for my whole life. What had finally come at a time when I
wasn't prepared to deal with it, but I still needed, no,
wanted
to hear
him say it.

"How much you mean to me. How I would do anything to
protect you even if that meant giving up Banetti. I would do it. For you."

My breathing stopped, catching in my throat before it could
even get close to my burning lungs. "But-"

"But nothing. The threat to your father wasn't just a
'drop the case or we'll kill you' kind of threat. It was personal.
'Who do
you love most?'
, it said. These men will do anything to get the upper
hand."

"But-"

"They probably already know. Everyone knew how close I
was to Liam and your brothers, why wouldn't they assume I was close to
you?"

"Lucas…"

"If they even catch a glimpse of you with me, they'll
see it."

"See what?"

"That I can't take my eyes off of you even for a second.
I barely could before, and now? You show up here after taking your life in your
own hands for seven years, confident and determined, and you have never been as
fucking gorgeous as you are right now."

I couldn't breathe, couldn't think and the only thing that
stood out from what he said was 'before'.

"Before? What are you saying?"

He bent his head closer to me, taking the few breaths away
that I had managed to dig up, and as his lips brushed over mine just barely, my
legs gave out.

He caught me around the waist and held me against him,
breathing just as hard as I was.

"I'm saying… that I've been in love with you for years
and I'm tired of holding it back."

The words.

Words I had wanted to hear for so damn long. Words that I
never thought would come out of his beautiful mouth. And now they had.

And I was ridiculously furious.

All that time… lost and wasted.

"Why?" was all I could push out. My voice was
unsteady from the anger pulsing through me and I could feel my cheeks heat from
the violent rush of blood.

I knew it was irrational and I knew if I was smart, I would
take this opportunity and run with it. But my father had just died, I had spent
the last seven years pushing every potential prospect away because of him, and
I just wanted to be the one that walked away for
once
in my life.

"Why?" he repeated.

"Why now?" I bit out, finding the courage I
needed. "Why not then when I needed it? Why make me feel like I was
grasping at air then laugh at me when I finally caught hold of something in
myself? How
dare
you?"

His face fell and I almost lost my resolve.

"I was an asshole and scared," he pleaded. "I
told myself it was because of your brothers, but it was just something I never
thought I deserved to feel."

"And I deserved to be laughed at?"

He shook his head and his eyes implored with me to
understand, but I sickeningly didn't want to. I wanted to slap him for not
telling me sooner, for putting me through the most mortifying night of my life.

"No," he stated, "you didn't deserve
any
of it. I just didn't want to be the one to hurt you."

I moved my hands to his chest, almost moaning at the feel of
him beneath my fingers, and I pushed him away from me slowly.

"Well, you
did
hurt me."

"I know," he choked out. "I planned on making
it right. I went to the airport to talk to you, but when I saw how happy you
were to be leaving, I couldn't risk-"

"Wait," I said, pressing harder so I could get
some distance. I wasn't expecting that. "You came to the airport?"

He nodded and loosened his hold around my waist while
dropping his other hand to his side. He stepped back and raked his fingers
through his dark hair, tugging at it and staring down at the kitchen floor like
it was the most interesting thing in the world. The loss of his hold on me was predictably
unpleasant, even though I was holding on to my resentment.

"I wasn't happy that day, Lucas."

His head snapped up, his brow furrowed with confusion.

"You were smiling like I had never seen you smile
before," he stated.

I nodded because he was right. It was a glorious smile and I
had practiced that God damned phony smile for the two days it took to finally
leave. I didn't want my dad to think I was being impulsive. I
wanted
to
be happy that day and show him that it was what I really wanted. But I knew I
wouldn't be, because what I really wanted was the man standing in front of me
right now who looked like I had just punched him in the stomach.

"Yes, I was smiling. It was all a show for Dad. He knew
how I felt about you and I had told him that leaving is what I needed."
Like I said before, when it came to Lucas, I couldn't hold back the truth when
he asked for it, even when I was trying to prove a point.

His hands balled into fists at his sides, like he was
holding them back from grabbing me. His jaw ticked and his eyes searched mine.
"Was it?"

The hope in his voice wiped away all the anger I had been
holding onto and I cursed myself for being so upset in the first place.

"No. It wasn't what I needed," I shook my head and
sighed.

He took a tentative step toward me, unsure of himself like I
had never seen before, but still looking like a predator going in for the kill.

I looked into his sky blue eyes that were brightened by the
possibility that I might actually give him a chance. The look on my face was
probably enough to tell him so, but assuming hadn't worked before, why would it
now?

"I needed
you
, Lucas," I added.

He moved closer, his heat radiating onto my skin and our
chests a mere inch apart. With one hand on the wall next to my head and the
other on my hip, he leaned in, just a breath away. "And now?" he
rasped, looking into my eyes and taking back every piece I had tried so hard to
keep a hold of.

"Now?"

He nodded, waiting.

"Now, I'm terrified. I can't give you my heart again
and ever take it back, Lucas." If I did this, I would give him
everything
.
All of me. Permanently.

The hand on the wall moved to my face and he gently ran his
fingers across my jaw, making me almost lose my mind with the tender touch. His
blue eyes heated as his other arm went back around my waist.

"I won't ever be
giving
it back, Aislinn."

God, how his mouth could caress my name.

That was it. I couldn't even try to stop myself if I wanted
to. I was his, always had been and always would be, no matter what he did or
said.

"Then take it, Lucas. Please-"

His lips crashed down on mine before I could say any more
and I was falling, collapsing from the weight of my relief. His arm held me up
and against him while he kissed me like I had never been kissed before and my
lips parted automatically when his tongue traced them, begging me to let him
in. He moved his hand into my hair and buried it there, gripping me hard and
angling my head so he could deepen the kiss. I heard a moan and realized it had
come from me.

He moved both of his hands to the backs of my thighs and
lifted me up, pinning me against the wall and wrapping my legs around his
waist, never breaking the kiss.

One hand traveled up the side of my body, running over my
ribs and bringing my tank top up with it. The heat of his touch making my skin
burn. He stopped just below my breast and his thumb lightly caressed the edge
of my bra, teasing me. I tunneled my fingers into his hair, holding him against
me and pleading with him.

My breasts ached for his touch, aware of how close he was to
bringing them some relief and making them ache even more. It was the sweetest
agony.

"Please," I begged him.

He groaned and moved his mouth across my jaw and down to my
neck, licking and nipping the sensitive skin as he pressed his hand harder against
my ribs, and his thumb slid under the edge of my bra, but held back.

"I can't, Ash. As much as I want to, I can't."

"Why?" I whined.

"Because you just lost your father and you're
vulnerable. I can't take it farther than kissing you or I'll feel like even
more of an asshole," he whispered against my neck. The movement of his
lips there made me roll my head back to give him better access and I couldn't
quite process what he had said.

"But-"

"No buts. I want you to be one hundred percent ready
when I take you. I want your first time to be everything you dreamed it would
be."

"But-"

Before I could argue with him, there was a loud knock at the
front door and every muscle in his body stiffened. He quickly lowered me to my
feet and held my face in his hands.

"We'll talk about this later, baby. I need you to hurry
to my room and shut the door. Quietly."

I nodded, my heart racing because he looked primed and ready
to take care of business whether it was an angel at the door or the devil
himself. How he went from passionate lover to a lethal weapon was a mystery to
me.

I stumbled the first couple of steps and his hand on my arm
steadied me, then I scurried down the hall and into his room. He watched me as
I slowly swung the door to close it, then he winked just before I was out of
sight.

Talk about timing. Now that my head was a little clearer, I
was glad he told me he wasn't taking it any further before someone showed up,
otherwise, I probably would have screamed and then whoever was here would know
I was in town.

I wanted to slap myself for being so selfish, too. My father
had died less than twenty-four hours ago and I was trying to maul Lucas to
death.

"Holy crap! Am I a slut?" I smacked myself on the
forehead and closed my eyes.

Was it because I was such a mess and so vulnerable that I
couldn't control my actions?

Probably, but I had the feeling that there was more to it
than that. Dad knew they were coming for him. He wouldn't have just let them
get rid of him without planning for it, would he?

When Lucas told me that my cousin, Mark, had been the first
responder, I was confused. He would have called me to start arranging things
for the funeral and he would have been here to help, right?

I hadn't heard a word, though, but then he didn't know where
I was.

Maybe he had already spoken with Conall. I would have to
leave everything to him anyway. There was no way I could take care of all the
arrangements without leaving the house. Plus, Conall would know how to arrange
the funeral of someone as important as my father, not me. Maybe that's what
Mark was anticipating.

The gnawing feeling I had in my head was stronger than ever
and I just couldn't accept that my dad was really gone. It didn't
feel
like he truly was, even though I knew in my mind that it was true.

I couldn't focus on it any longer so I spread myself out on
Lucas' bed and just thought about my dad.
"It will all be alright, my
beauty. I promise you."

Peace swept through me. He
always
kept his promises.

Lucas

She was going to be the end of him.

He should get a God damned medal for having such restraint.
She had been so willing to give herself to him and he had been desperate to
take her, but his respect for her father and for her loss was stronger. He
didn't want her to regret anything and he didn't want to take advantage of her
vulnerability, no matter how much she argued with him.

Please don't let her argue.

After watching her shut his bedroom door, he took several
deep breaths, attempting to compose himself. Another knock sounded and he
started towards the front door, picking up his 9mm at the side table and
tucking it away. He moved the curtains aside and saw Justin Rains standing on
his porch with his hands in the pockets of his dress pants. He was ready for
work with his polished badge stuck to his belt and his jacket bulging from his
shoulder holster.

Lucas still needed to dress and get his head together so he
could focus on finding the captain's killer and shutting the whole Banetti
operation down for good.

On getting Ash's life back for her.

He opened the door and Justin plastered a huge smile on his
face when he saw Lucas.

"What's the cheesy smile for?" Lucas asked
suspiciously.

Justin chuckled and raised an eyebrow, "You look like
you've been mauled, Shade. I'm just so proud of you for moving on."

He remembered how Ash had tugged on his hair and figured it
was a mess, but he was too happy about the reason it was a mess to really worry
about it.

"Moving on from what?" he snapped.

"Brannock's daughter. You've been pining away for her
for three years, man."

Little did the man know, it had been
seven
years. He
just spent the first four trying to rid her from his memory by using other
women to fill his head. He wasn't proud of it, but he couldn't change it. When
that didn't work, he had buried himself in his job, but he could never escape
hearing about her, and he didn't want to. When he found out from her father
that she had been dating, he gave up trying to forget her and just lived a day
at a time, hoping he would get the chance to make things right with her.

"I didn't pine away for her…"

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah, you did," Justin argued with another cheesy
ass smile.

"I was just busy," Lucas replied.

"Busy pining away."

"Whatever, what are you doing here anyway?"

Justin laughed and shook his head. "I was just checking
up on you. I know how close you and the captain were. A lot of history there,
right? Well, I thought you might be lagging a little this morning since we just
left the scene a few hours ago, but now I see you were doing just fine."

Lucas wasn't going to explain. Letting Justin assume was the
safest way to keep Ash invisible. He just crossed his arms over his chest and
waited for Justin to continue.

"Anyway…" he drawled sarcastically. "I guess
I'll see you at the station in a few."

"Yeah, I just need to dress and I'll be there."

"Good." He turned and started down the porch while
Lucas moved to swing the door shut, wondering why he felt so annoyed about
Justin coming over to his home unannounced. Normally something like that
wouldn't get under his skin.

Because he interrupted…
No he wasn't going to be
upset about that. It was for the best.

"Oh, hey Shade?"

"Yeah." Lucas looked down at Justin trying not to
rush him along so he could get to Ash.

"The captain didn't happen to tell you what he had
found last night, did he?"

Lucas shook his head. He wished he had stayed at the house
longer and talked to him, trusted his gut that something wasn't right, but he
had been anxious to get some space from the constant buzzing he felt between
him and Ash. Now, he couldn't remember why he had thought that was a good idea
in the first place.

"Didn't Gibbs say something about some new
information?" he asked. He needed to get an update soon, being away from
the station in the afternoon made it hard to stay out of the dark.

"Yeah, but that's not what it was. He figured something
out about Banetti, I just know it. I was at the station just heading out when
he stormed out of his office. He was furious about something. I didn't think it
was a good time to ask."

Lucas wanted to tell him to come inside and brain storm with
him because he knew for a fact Liam found the leak, or at least
how
to
find the bastard. Justin was just as determined to solve this case as Lucas
was, he had proven that by the long hours he had put in while Lucas was
watching Ash. Justin had never even questioned his change of hours, just did
what was asked of him and did a good job. He was a good detective even though
he always kept his head down, but that was something Lucas actually admired
about him.

But Liam would have told Justin what he found out if he
could trust him completely.

"He didn't say anything to me. Maybe we can figure it
out today at the station. Go through his office."

Justin nodded, "Yeah, sounds good. Okay, see ya."

He watched Justin get into his car before he backed into the
house and shut the door. He needed to get to work, but he had to figure out
what to do with Ash first. He set his gun on the side table, then noticed the
boxes that he had brought back for Ash were still there.

He carried them to his bedroom and knocked on the door
before slowly pushing it open. Ash was lying on the bed, staring up at the
ceiling and looking like she was about to fall asleep.

"Hey, I thought you might want to have these now."

She glanced up at him, saw the boxes in his hand and bolted
up from the bed, hurrying toward him.

"Yes, thank you. Everything good?" she asked
breathlessly.

He nodded, then handed her things over and followed her to
sit on the bed while she opened them. He knew what was in them, knew how much
they would mean to her. After her mother had died, she said it was hard not to
constantly look at all the memories she had in those boxes. When he had given
her the locket, it was meant to keep one of those memories close to her so she
would always have it with her. He wasn't sure when she had stopped wearing it,
but he knew how much it had meant to her.

She lifted out the locket and held it against her heart.
"I've missed this," she said to him with a smile. "It's my
favorite picture of her inside. How you knew that is a mystery to me."

He smiled back at her, "It was the one you were always
staring at shortly after she passed. You look just like her now. The picture
could be of you for all anyone would know."

"Thank you," she whispered and reached up to run
her fingers over his jaw and chin lovingly. "Did you really watch me that
much?"

He grasped her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers
tenderly. "Yes, as much as I could without getting caught. It was
difficult, though, because you were always watching
me
. I just didn't
know how to handle that."

"It's in the past now," she dismissed with a shrug
of her shoulders.

He squeezed her hand once more and kissed her knuckles, then
stood from the bed and rummaged through his dresser. "I've got to get to
work. I hate to leave you here alone, but there's no other option right now
until your brothers get here."

"I'll be fine, Lucas. I'm not going anywhere. I'll
probably just sleep most of the day," she said cautiously, then hesitated
before adding, "I wish you could stay and get some rest, too, but I'm
selfish, I want you to find those bastards more than I want you to sleep. Is
that horrible?"

He turned and smiled at her, "No, baby. It's not
horrible, because I feel the same way."

She blushed and looked back down at the locket with a grin.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"I like that."

"Like what?"

"That… that you call me 'baby'."

His heart skipped and he wanted to pull her against him and
spend the rest of the day finding out what else she liked. He hadn't
consciously used the endearment and he had never used it with any woman before,
either. It was just something that came naturally with her.

He felt his lips tug up into a smile. The kind of smile that
he hadn't felt in a long time. She gasped when she looked up at him.

"There they are," she whispered. "Just how I
remembered them."

He felt his cheeks warm and dropped his head trying not to
be a pansy. He knew what she was talking about. She had always tried to make
him smile to the point those damn dimples appeared. The same ones his father
had. She was really the only one that could ever make it happen.

He turned before she could comment on his embarrassment and
walked into his closet to find a shirt and pants, then headed to his bathroom,
shutting the door behind him. He wouldn't have minded changing in front of her
and he was 99% sure she wouldn't have minded either with the way she had looked
at him, but he couldn't delay leaving any longer.

He dressed quickly and tried not to think about the
different ways he could actually delay going back to the station. He had
showered while she was eating so he didn't take very long. When he stepped back
out into the bedroom she had the locket opened in her hand, staring at it in
bewilderment.

"What is it?"

She didn't look away from it, but held the locket out to him
like it was going to explode, "I think I found out why he was in my
bedroom when they shot him."

He had wondered the same thing. He should have been in his
office where he had weapons strategically placed around the room, especially if
he knew they were coming. Lucas took the locket from her and blinked rapidly.
There, right next to her mother's picture, was a small square of folded paper
that hadn't been in there before. He carefully pulled it out and turned the
locket over several times to make sure there was nothing else he should be
finding, but he didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

He handed the necklace back to her and unfolded the paper.
How Liam got it in there was a freaking miracle.

'Keep this close. 111301'

"What does it say?" Ash asked shakily.

He handed her the paper and ran a hand through his hair. The
number didn't look familiar at all, but ideas ran through his head. It wasn't a
badge number, wasn't a date, wasn't a plate number. It wasn't anything that he
could sort out.

"I don't understand."

"I don't either, but maybe you should wear your
necklace at all times, okay?"

She nodded and immediately clasped it around her slender
neck. Now more than ever, he didn't want to leave her, but before he could
change his mind, he grabbed his shoes and walked toward the front door.

Like he expected her to do, she followed him, looking like
she was going to be sick.

He slipped his shoes on then positioned his shoulder
holster, badge, and gun.

She leaned against the wall hugging herself with one arm and
alternation between fingering the locket and tugging on her hair with the
other. He moved toward her and pulled her into his arms and she immediately
wrapped herself around him.

"Your dad was smart, Ash. The smartest man I knew. And
he loved you more than anything. He wouldn't have left us in the dark
completely. He would have done something to make sure you were safe."

She nodded her head against his chest before pulling away
and putting the small paper into his hand. "
I'm
safe with
you
,
but are
you
safe with
me
?"

He wasn't sure what she meant, but he could imagine what was
going on inside that head of hers. So, he told her the only thing that he knew
completely. "Doesn't matter, because I'm not letting you go."

He bent down and kissed her softly but passionately, leaving
them both a little breathless.

"I'll be back in a while. Call me for
anything
,
okay?"

"Okay."

He walked out and closed the door, turning to lock the
deadbolt behind him. He made it to the station in record time and walked to his
desk with a new determination.

Rains was waiting for him.

"Ready to take these fuckers out, Shade?"

"More than ever," he replied dangerously.

***

"Maybe we should go back down to evidence, take another
look at the letter."

Lucas didn't want to look at the threat letter again, he
didn't want to do anything but sit there and stew. He had already been down to
evidence a couple of times that day. Justin had insisted that they go over
everything again, all the originals of everything they had in evidence for the
Banetti case. The only things they didn't really need to look at again were the
drugs they had confiscated from weeks before when their inside man had been
discovered. It had been a gigantic mess and all they were able to get away with
was a few guns, a whole shitload of drugs, and one small player who was now
sitting pretty in prison and wasn't talking no matter what kind of deals were
offered.

"I think maybe we need to get out of here, take a
breath and regroup. Neither one of us got much sleep last night," Lucas
replied. They had gone over every statement from each of Brannock's neighbors
and no one had seen or heard
anything
, but all of them were ready to get
the hell out of dodge. He had been asked multiple times whether or not it was
safe to stay in the neighborhood any longer and he hadn't been able to give a
straight answer. These people knew the captain, had for years, and even though
they were all concerned for his children, they were more concerned about the
problems that may come back.

He couldn't blame them.

Rains nodded, "You are absolutely right. We've already
been down there enough. Maybe stepping away will help us come up with
something."