Lexan's Pledge (Starbright Novellas)

Lexan’s Pledge

A Starbright Secrets Novella

Hilary Thompson

this one’s for the girls,

as they say

(you know who you are)

Copyright © 2014 by Hilary Thompson

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher. For information regarding written permission, please visit:

http://hilarythompsonauthor.blogspot.com/

This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, incidents, and places are products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Summary: All Lexan wants right now is to be friends with Trea, but the new Prophecy of the Garden will ask him to give up more than he is willing to lose.

March, 2014 Edition

Cover Design by Najla Qamber Designs

Edited by Cecily Mullins

August 25, 2066

This morning I was so restless that I just had to leave the safe house, regardless of all the danger outside. In the end I only snuck out to see Evangeline. Mother doesn’t believe she has the Sight, but I know better. Evangeline has been right more times than Mother knows.

But she gave me the strangest reading today. Evangeline believes I’m meant to save us from this civil war somehow. She says she hasn’t seen the full vision, but that - together with Clota and Aisa - we will end the war and build a new civilization. A better one.

I'm not really sure what she means, and I’m not really sure how to believe her when everything is so horrible now.

I need to be alone with this for a while.

from First Leader Lakessa’s private journal

included in Firene’s secret paper
s

It’s just a normal Sunday, but everyone in Asphodel seems to be out tonight with some agenda. The Common Area is crowded with my classmates.

All my so-called friends have left me sitting in the side chairs while they stampede from girl to girl, hoping to start relationships or cement promises in these last weeks before Choosing Day. And I’m okay watching them for now, because I haven’t seen what I came here for yet.

And they don’t really leave me alone - they circle closer, one by one, to taunt me with their successes, and to rub my face in the fact that I have a promised partner who wouldn’t touch me unless it were a punch.

“Come on, Lex,” Anan calls. “Pick a different girl and do something memorable.”

I curl my thumb and fingers together in a zero, showing him exactly what I think of him and his comment. The blonde girl with him lets her eyes go wide at the rude gesture, but I just shrug, giving her my trademark half-smile. Anan glares. But he knows I can’t pick a different girl - not when the memories really matter.

The girl is still watching me, and I raise my brows and nod at Anan, grinning with an obvious question. She blushes and turns away from me, towards him - embarrassed, but I can tell I’ve peaked her interest in him a little more. Which is good, because I don’t think Isa has any real plans to choose him.

I push up from the chair and walk around the edge of the dance floor, weaving through a group of children. I should probably just go home and study something, but Mother is there, and I’m not sure if I can deal with her tonight.

Even a year and a half later, my dead father still lives in our every thought, and his absence aches in our every customary action.

I scan the crowd for a distraction.

And realize that dark-haired girl I just barely know is still giving me the eye, like she hopes I’ll come over and talk with her. I’ve been working very hard to be good and ignore her all night, but she looks like the type who will eventually come to me regardless of what I do.

Unless I can slip away before she gets the nerve. I shouldn’t have come down here. Maybe I can find an open training room. Surely I’ve put in enough social time by now, and I could use the practice with my new bow.

I glance through the slowly dispersing crowds to see if there’s anyone keeping watch over my attendance. I haven’t seen Aitan in a while, although his pretty blonde partner is still dancing to the impromptu music. She’s in the arms of some guy I don’t know, like most Sundays this year.

Pasia catches my roving glance and waves, then points a finger at me and shakes her head with a stern grin. I roll my eyes - she always thinks I should stay longer and dance more.

And then I see
her
- the only girl in the room I really
do
see, now that I’ve found her. All scrawny arms and flaming curls and inescapable temper. Trea. My heart picks up a little and I feel my cheeks get warm. Our eyes almost meet.

And then I don’t see her, because that brunette is blocking my view.

“Hey, Lex,” she says. “Dance with me?”

Her voice curves up like it’s a question when we both know it really isn’t. I have no idea how Trea gets away with her bad attitude and anti-social behavior, because nobody ever takes it from me. I’m a Libra, and I’m expected to be charming all the time. She’s an Aries, and so she’s allowed to have a temper.

But there’s really no point in trying to break the pattern now.

I move a smile to my cheeks and hold out my hand, leaning around her to see if Trea is watching, but she’s gone. Swallowed up by the crowd or vanished into the darkness.

“You dance so well. Remind me of your name, please?” I say as we spin between the other couples. Her palm feels hot and sweaty beneath my fingers, and her brown eyes keep flicking down to my mouth.

“It’s Tella! I can’t believe you don’t remember. We only talked for an
hour
after Training last week.” Her lips turn down and push together in a pout that is probably meant to attract me, but it really just looks like a kid who isn’t getting her way.

“Sorry. I’d never forget those brown eyes, I’m just not good with names.” Names of people I don’t care about, anyways. I smile again, trying harder this time to make it real. I don’t want to be that guy who is rude to girls, but I don’t want to be
her
guy either, not even for tonight.

It would be just one more item on a list of things that aren’t the real me.

She grins, sliding her fingers up my shoulder blade. I hold her a little closer, because that’s what’s expected of me.

We dance for two songs or two hours, I can’t tell. The only positive side to the problem is that I’ve barely had to say a word. Excellent conversationalist, this one. Assuming conversation includes monologue.

“Are you even listening to me?” She stops dancing and tilts her head to the side, channeling that petulant child again.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m a little tired tonight.” I’m definitely not myself, and I can tell it’s starting to show. I need to get out of here fast, before someone important notices.

She smiles again, but a little smaller this time. “I asked if you wanted to go to the hot pool. There should be a lot of people down there now.”

I glance around and see that she’s right. The older couples have gone home, taking the small children away for bed. “Ah, maybe I can meet you down there? I really wanted to talk to my sister for a few minutes before I leave.” I meet her eyes and send reassuring thoughts. It’s disturbing how easily my thoughts slip in, melting into her mind.

“That’s so sweet! I love that you love your sister!” Her smile takes over her face and now I really do feel guilty. Of course I love Pasia, and we talk all the time, but I was only using her as an excuse, hoping to slip away unnoticed. A quick glance shows Pasia’s table is abandoned. She probably left right after silently warning me not to cut out early.

Hypocrite.

“So I’ll see you there?” Tella asks again, as if she doesn’t believe my promise. Maybe she’s smarter than I gave her credit for.

I nod quickly and flash another half-grin - the one Pasia hates. She always says it means I’m up to no good. She’s usually right.

I head off towards the seating area before Tella can realize Pasia isn’t there anymore, then slip into a group of people.

I skirt the edge of the Common Area until I reach a section of back hallways leading to the Training Rooms. At least I can shoot arrows by myself without performing for anyone.

Who am I kidding - I’m never alone. Someone’s always watching me.

The second I think this, I hear voices ahead in the darkness. There’s a small, shadowy alcove across from the room I’m headed towards, and it sounds like a couple is either arguing or getting ready for some alone time together.

Either way I don’t want to walk into the middle of it. I start to turn around.

Then I recognize the male voice, and I stop dead, air rushing too quickly into my throat.

“You look beautiful tonight, by the way,” says my asshole brother.

“Well, Aitan, that is very nice of you to say. Your
partner
Anyel looked nice, too,” answers the girl, stressing the fact that she knows very well that Aitan is partnered. Her voice is familiar too, but I can’t quite match it to a name. I flatten myself against the corridor wall to listen, sliding a few inches closer.

“Of course she did. And now she’s probably tucked away somewhere just like us. So who am I to be the good boy?”

“No, I certainly would never call you that,” she says, and her flirty giggle makes me cringe, my lungs locking shut. I
know
that giggle. And if I hear one squishy wet sound, I’m busting into their shadowy corner and stopping whatever is happening here.

Trea would never forgive Isa.

“Have
you
chosen a partner yet?” Aitan asks her.

Isa laughs. “Not quite yet. I have three boys waiting on my answer. I just need a little more information from them.”

“And what kind of information would that be?” Aitan’s voice lowers, smooth as the dark waters of the hot pool where I’m supposed to be.

“You know. Partner information. Compatibility.”

“And what exactly do you know about
compatibility
?” Aitan’s voice holds the devious smile I know is coating his face.

I nearly give myself away with a groan. This has to stop.

“I know what I need to at this point. Everything else I’ll learn when I’m partnered.” Isa’s voice seems a tiny bit strained now, and I feel my breath quicken again as I wonder what the shadows are hiding. “Let’s go back to the Common Area now. I need to see if Trea is okay. She’s been so edgy lately.”

“I’m sure she’s already left,” Aitan says, his voice soothing. “Is it the whole Choosing Day thing, starting to get to her?”

“Obviously. Her temper has been unreal. She’s not exactly thrilled about choosing Lexan, you know. Sometimes I think she literally
hates
him.”

All of the air shoves painfully out of my lungs and for a second everything is quiet. I’m positive they heard me.

Then, Aitan answers with a triumphant sort of laugh. “True. A bit of icing on my cake, that is. My brother seems to have everyone fooled except for the only one he wants to fool.”

“What do you mean by that?” Isa asks, all innocently curious like she isn’t the biggest gossip I know.

“Oh, nothing. Lex just isn’t always what he seems, that’s all. But talk to me. I can tell you’re having a hard time with your friend.”

Isa begins slowly, as though she isn’t sure she should be telling this information to Aitan. And she’s right to be wary - my brother always has some sort of agenda. But soon she is pouring out her frustration with Trea’s withdrawal, and how bitter and angry and resistant she is towards Choosing Day.

Towards choosing me.

And I have to admit that Aitan’s right, at least in one way. Trea is the only one I care about - but I don’t want to fool her or charm her. I want her to see me. The real me.

The one nobody else takes the time to see.

Suddenly I don’t care anymore about Aitan and Isa, and what they might do here in the darkness of the deserted corridor. I want to be home, in my own room. Alone.

I hurry through the hallways, eyes on the cold rock floor.

Finally closing the door to my room, I sit heavily, my arms and legs numb with the desire for rest. But my brain won't stop replaying how right Isa is. She knows I’ll never have what I want. That conversation wasn’t meant for me, but it’s just shown me again how impossible everything is.

Sure, one day I will be partnered to Trea, but she won't ever truly be my partner. Not like if she'd chosen me. And my chest hurts, like my heart has just pushed through my ribs and left my body to join hers. But it doesn’t know how to find her, so it’s just gone. No longer beating inside of me, but somewhere beyond my body, in the darkness.