Lexington Black (26 page)

'Dad, it would mean the world to me if you
gave your blessing,' I said a while later. 'Being gay isn't an
affliction, it's just who I am, and you always told me to believe
in myself, didn't you? Rob is a good person. He's fierce and loyal
and makes me happy. I don't expect you to, but just squeeze my hand
if you're cool about it. I know I'm being selfish, but you're the
only person whose opinion I care about right now. I don't...' I
couldn't go on. His hand was motionless in mine. He was fading
before my eyes, and there was still so much to say.

'I love you, Dad. I always will, whatever you
think of how I live my life.' I kept his hand in mine as I rested
my head on the bed next to him.

Then I felt it. A gentle squeeze. No more
than a light twitch of the fingers really, but it was enough. It
was what I had been hoping for.

'Thanks,' I whispered, close to his ear. It
was deep into the night, and I was heavy with exhaustion. His
breathing slowed, and each breath sounded like his last. The room
was quiet apart from the laboured sawing of his breath. He breathed
in again, a deep, death rattle, and the outward exhale was barely
audible. He lay with his mouth open, his cheeks sunken, his eyes
wide as if seeing all the wonders of Heaven waiting for him.

And then he was gone.

'You're going to be the death of me,' Geri
sighed when Rob finally called her.

'I'm sorry, I've been busy.'

She was silent whilst he told her why. When
he had finished, she exploded.

'Are you out of your mind? That's all the
money you own!'

'I know. I need to start sorting it out as
soon as I hit the ground in London. I'm doing this, Geri. You can't
talk me out of it.'

A big sigh. 'Yeah, okay. Just send me the
pictures of this place.'

'I don't have the iPhone, remember?'

'So buy a cheap digi-camera, upload the
pictures and email them to me. It isn't that hard, bro.'

Rob laughed out loud, far more relaxed now he
had her on-side. 'It is if you're stuck in the 1980's like me.'

'You sound different. Are you sure that is
the place for you? It isn't some knee-jerk reaction to that prick
who broke your heart? Who, incidentally, called me late last
night?'

Rob felt his heart skip a beat. 'Lex called
you?'

'Yeah, from the phone you lost. I hung up on
him.'

'What did he say?'

'He wanted to know where you were. I said you
were on Highway Fuck You, headed for the town of You'll Never See
Me Again.'

'You didn't!'

'No, but I would have done, had I thought of
it quick enough. It was more, "screw you" before I put the phone
down.'

'Oh.' Rob thought for a moment. 'You wouldn't
have his number, would you?'

'He called from your phone, dickhead. Now I
know you're out of your mind. This is all happening way too fast.
You didn't even know you were gay until two months ago! Now you're
contemplating moving 3,000 miles away, using every penny you
possess, and opening up your heart to a man who obviously was only
after one thing! What the hell has got into you?'

'You sound like our mother.'

That stopped her. He could sense her fighting
for words. 'I don't want you to go,' she said, in a small
voice.

'There isn't anything else for me to stay
for, is there?'

'God, I wish I was over there to shake some
sense into you.'

He laughed again. 'With the best will in the
world, sis, I'm glad you're not.'

Despite her words of warning, when he cut the
call, his heart felt strangely light. On trying to analyse his
mood, he realised that the overriding feeling was that of purpose.
For the first time in a very long while, he knew where he was
going, what he wanted to do and how he was going to achieve it.

*******

He was greeted effusively by Geri and Simon
as he walked back through the Arrivals Hall. Cheered by their
enthusiastic waving, he pasted a smile on his face and walked into
Geri's welcoming hug.

'Well, I'd like to say you look fantastic
after your break but in truth, you look like hell,' Geri said when
she held him away so she could look at him properly.

It wasn't quite the reaction he had been
hoping for but at least it was honest.

'Love sucks,' he said, and hugged her again
so she could not see the strain on his face.

Sara's Big Day loomed like a confetti-strewn
tsunami on the horizon. September was just around the corner and
everyone was getting sucked into the excitement, even Geri, who
already had three outfits on standby according to the weather
conditions.

Rob was still in two minds about going. He
wasn't welcome, as Sara had made that very clear in an email
following their last disastrous family lunch. He wasn't looking
forward to coming face to face with Sandy either, but there was a
sense of unfinished business, and he wanted to draw a line under it
before he turned his back on them for good.

By the day of the wedding, he was in
possession of a lighthouse in Connecticut. The legal documents took
an age to sort out and endless inspections had to be made. He had
potential plans drawn up and they had been submitted to the
Historical Society, then the planning department, for approval.

And in the meantime, he had read the long
emails sent from Lex. He hadn't replied to any of them, as he was
still too angry with him to respond with any civility, but late at
night, he stared at the impassioned words Lex had written, and he
remembered how deliriously happy they had been before it all went
wrong. He couldn't imagine feeling that complete with any other
person.

Geri had suggested that he ask Lex to sponsor
him for a Green Card as a way of making up for all the hurt he had
caused, but Rob could not bring himself to do that. He thought
about approaching Peter, but he seemed the type of person to try
and engineer things between him and Lex, to assuage his own sense
of guilt. Rob didn't want any more interference. Right then he just
needed friends without issues or agendas.

In the end, it was his brother Roger who came
good and helped expedite Rob's permanent move to the US. It was
largely thanks to him and Christopher that he was able to buy the
lighthouse in the first place. He did not know what he had done to
deserve their help, but Christopher was full of surprises. Since
finding out Rob was gay, he had been a lot more sympathetic towards
him. One day, Rob resolved to ask him why. After all, it wasn't as
if his sexuality was some kind of terminal illness.

He crossed the Atlantic a couple of times
before the wedding to see his new purchase, and every time, it felt
like going home. There were legal and immigration documents to sign
and work on the lighthouse to organise. If he had known how
complicated it was going to be, he would have been daunted by the
task, but Roger was a massive help, always cheerful and patient.
They were communicating purely by email and phone, so it would be
strange to actually meet him face to face at the wedding.

He had handed in his notice at Radleys the
first day after returning from England. Paul did not seem
surprised. He also had some news of his own. Both he and his wife
were past retirement age, so he had finally decided to sell the
business so they could enjoy their freedom whilst they were still
strong and healthy. Rob's job was safe if he wanted it, but when he
told them his plans, they promptly made him redundant, with a
totally unexpected pay off of £100,000. To off-set the tax, they
had paid the money into a company registered in Switzerland, under
Rob's name.

He protested. They needed that money for
their retirement. Paul pointed out that Lex had been ridiculously
generous when he had paid them for Rob's time, and even without
that, they had all the money they needed. Besides, his wages hadn't
been exactly high over the last few years. It was time they showed
him how much he meant to them.

Rob was still reeling from his unexpected
windfall as he drove from New York to Freehaven. When he pulled up
outside the old lighthouse and saw that the FOR SALE notice had
been replaced with one saying SOLD, he took a picture of it and
sent it to Geri with the caption "I'm home."

And it really felt like it. He walked back to
Teresa's office, where she was waiting with the keys. They hugged
tightly as she handed them over.

'I'm so glad you're here,' she said warmly.
They too had been exchanging emails, and it felt as if he already
had friends in the town.

The other person he wanted to visit was
Pearl, the cranky owner of the coffee shop. Her wrinkled face broke
into a smile as he walked in. After another perfumed kiss on the
cheek, and a free coffee and Danish to celebrate his purchase, he
walked back to his new home, with her voice ringing in his
ears.

'That's the last freebie from me, you hear?
Next time you pay!'

He blew her a kiss as he walked out the
door.

It was tempting not to fly back to England.
Sara's wedding promised to push all his reserves of patience and
restraint to the limit, especially once he came face to face with
Sandy, but that sense of unfinished business remained, so whilst he
was still recovering from jetlag, he boarded a flight from Newark
back to Heathrow.

But he wasn't alone. On impulse he had called
Peter at the gallery and Caressa joined him in the First Class
cabin, wearing the same gleeful look she had when Rob asked her to
go with him to the wedding. With them were three queens, Ruby, Suki
and their new friend Gemma, all immaculate in red tailored suits,
stockings and scarlet lipstick. It was a lively flight, with much
drinking of champagne. At one point, Caressa had most of the First
Class passengers singing
New York, New York
before she was
asked politely to sit down and let everyone get some sleep.

On the day of the wedding, there was nothing
for Rob to do but put on a suit and head to the church to see his
little sister get married. He wore the clothes the queens had
bought for him in Manhattan, a black diamond stud in his ear. He
had also swapped the tortoiseshell spectacles for Elvis Costello
black ones.

He had left strict instructions for the
others to behave themselves whilst he and Peter were at the
wedding. Peter had gone for the full Caressa, in Gloria Swanson
green emerald dress and matching turban, accessorised with
iridescent stuffed birds. Heads had turned when Rob had escorted
her into the church, her arm through his. Her heels made her tower
above him and everyone else.

His mother had stopped when she saw them, and
gave them a full wattage glare.

'You were told not to come here,' she said
loudly.

'I want to see Sara get married.' He kept his
voice quiet.

'You're a disgrace to this family! How dare
you walk in here with ... that!' She motioned to Caressa.

'That?' Caressa's voice was strident. 'That?
I'm more of a lady than you are,
honey.
'

Christopher came up and took his mother's
arm. He gave Rob and Caressa a sympathetic look as he led her
away.

'Sorry. I didn't think it would be that
rough,' Rob said to her.

Caressa waved his apology away. 'She's just
given me the perfect excuse.'

'To do what?'

'Behave incorrigibly,' Caressa whispered, and
winked.

Soon, Geri and Simon joined them and
introductions were made, Geri apologising ahead of Simon saying
something inappropriate, which would inevitably happen sooner or
later. As they took their seats, Rob noticed two men, one of whom
looked vaguely familiar. He smiled absently at them and ushered
Caressa into the pew behind them.

'You don't recognise me, do you, Rob?'

The larger man had turned in his seat, and
Rob realised he was staring into the face of his eldest
brother.

'Jesus, Roger!' They hugged tightly over the
shallow pew. Rob looked around him. 'Where's your wife? Couldn't
she make it?'

'Huh, this is my husband, Tony.' The slimmer
man peered around Roger's bulk and gave a little wave.

'Oh my God, why didn't you tell me? All that
time we've been talking ...' He gave Tony a tight hug. 'Welcome to
our fucked-up family. Sorry, I'm blown away. I just assumed...'

'Yeah, I know. Everyone did apart from Chris.
It's about time everyone else knew the truth.'

'Looks like this is Queer Corner,' Simon
said, his voice carrying over the assembled crowd.

'You got that right,' Tony grinned at
him.

'Congratulations, both of you. We'll catch up
when this madness is over,' Rob said as the organ began to
play.

The service wasn't as bad as it could have
been. Only those in the know would have picked up on the tension
running through the immediate family like low velocity electric
current. The white doves didn't crap on anyone and the smallest
bridesmaid didn't have a tantrum or pick her nose. Sara looked
stunning in oyster silk and pearls and the groom didn't vomit with
fright on the floor, although he looked as if he wanted to.

As she made her stately way down the aisle,
Sara's eye was caught by Caressa's outlandish outfit. She did a
double-take as she saw Rob and her eyes narrowed. He blew her a
kiss as she went past.

Then Sandy passed, sombre in her role as
Matron-of-Honour. She looked elegant in a long, navy blue satin
dress, clutching a posy of white freesias. By the way she stared
rigidly ahead, Rob knew she had seen him.

'The ex-wife,' Rob whispered to Caressa.

'Someone needs to tell her face she's at a
wedding, not a funeral,' Caressa whispered back, not quite so
discreetly.

'That's her usual sunny expression,' Rob said
dryly.

The service passed without incident, barring
the moment when Caressa dropped her handbag in the silence that
followed the obligatory "If anyone has any objections ..." They
received several killing looks and some giggles from the younger
contingent, but otherwise, everyone in the back row behaved
themselves, sort of. Although a shoving competition between Caressa
and Geri almost propelled Rob into the aisle and knocked off one of
the flower arrangements at the end of the pew.