Liar (41 page)

Running, just like Zach said. I never run top speed. Not when anyone's looking. I don't have to.

The hormones I use are more precise than my pills ever were. I inject them once every three months. No more fear of forgetting to take my pill. I visit the Greats, even when everyone is changed, without the faintest itching of my palms. I told Grandmother and Great-Aunt Dorothy about my research. They say they're proud of me, especially Grandmother, but they wish I would stay on the farm.

The white boy, Pete, is always pleased to see me. He's learned how to smile.

He's changed. Taller, healthier, there's flesh over his bones, not just skin.

I haven't talked to my parents since the day they abandoned me. My mom writes me letters via the Greats. I don't write back.

I refuse their visits. That's a power left to me.

I saw Dad once, watching me run. I didn't show that I saw. He looked older, more gray, and his face more gaunt. I wonder if I did that to him.

I'm not ready for my parents. I don't know when I will be. Maybe never.

Tayshawn and me stay in touch. He made it into MIT. He wants to make robots. Sarah went to Harvard. I haven't seen her since graduation. She doesn't write.

I have friends here. Other runners and a few from my classes. But they don't know who or what I am.

So, yeah, I'm still lying, but never to Yayeko, not to the Greats, and not to Pete.

It's a start.

PROMISE FULFILLED

So I did it. I told you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Like I said I would. Are you proud of me?

You should be.

Though I suspect you're not.

I suspect you're muttering to yourself, “Werewolves? Really? She expects me to believe in
werewolves
?”

You think my happy ending is too much. Too unlikely. A girl who runs so fast she breaks world records—
men's
world records? Without any training. You don't believe that either, do you?

You're insulted I think you're so gullible that you'll believe such outrageous lies. You were never fooled. You can read between the lines, pull away the werewolf bullshit, and see what's left.

You don't think it's the pretty picture Micah the liar painted.

You think you know what really happened, who I really am, what I
really
did.

You think I did it
twice
. Maybe more. Five times?

You don't believe in my teeth and claws. You believe in my hands, in my knife. You don't think I wrote this from a cozy little apartment—you think it was composed from a cold, padded cell.

But you're wrong.

I didn't. Not Jordan. Not Zach. And certainly not Yayeko and her daughter and her mom. Yayeko saved me. Why would I kill her?

Besides I told you often enough: werewolves don't kill people. You should
listen
to what I say.

Everything I told you is true: high school, the farm, the Greats, the wolves, the white boy, my scholarship—everything.

Most especially Zach.

I loved him so much. Every fiber, every tooth, every bone. I could never hurt him. Every minute of every day I ache for him.

That is my life. The beginning and end of it.

Would I lie to you?

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Jill Grinberg believed in this book even when it was a tiny kernel of an idea that I was too scared to write because I didn't think I was good enough. She thought I was, and pushed when I most needed pushing.
Liar
was much easier to write knowing I was in such excellent hands. Thanks to everyone at Jill's agency, Grinberg Literary: Cheryl Pientka, Laura Ross, and Kirsten Wolf. You're all worth your weight in gold.

My Australian and U.S. publishers are the best in the universe. Love and thanks to everyone at Allen & Unwin and Bloomsbury, especially my fabulous editors, Melanie Cecka (Bloomsbury) and Jodie Webster (Allen & Unwin). This book would not have found its way into your hands without the hard work of the following people: Caroline Abbey, Jackie Aitken, Liz Bray, Beth Eller, Katie Fee, Luke Frost, Anne Hellman, Bruno Herfst, Julia Imogen, Margaret Miller, Kevin Peters, Hilary Reynolds, Deb Shapiro, Chris Sims, Sarah Tran, Erica Wagner, Melissa Weisberg, and too many others to name. Thank you!

Liar
had many first readers: Holly Black, Gwenda Bond, Coe Booth, Libba Bray, Cassandra Clare, Alaya Johnson, Maureen Johnson, Jan Larbalestier, Karen Meisner, Maude Perez-Simon, Diana Peterfreund, Carrie Ryan, Robin Wasserman, Scott Westerfeld, Lili Wilkinson, and Doselle Young. Thank you so much for all your comments and continued advice throughout the writing process. You're all amazing. Thanks, too, for catching so many of the Australianisms!

Extra big thanks to Karen Joy Fowler for showing me how to fix Part Three.

This book was written using Scrivener, a brilliant and indispensable piece of writing software by Keith Blount, which allowed me to write
Liar
as though it were a jigsaw puzzle. Without Scrivener, this book would most likely not exist.

I had a great deal of help with the research for this book. Any mistakes, of course, are mine. Guarina Lopez's assistance with research across many areas was indispensable, and I made frequent use of her reference photos. Lisa Herb and Peter Zahler helped enormously with my descriptions of the flora and fauna of upstate New York. The language Micah uses to describe her favorite bird calls was influenced by Peter's. Coe Booth and Alaya Johnson were my hair advisors. Maud and Luis Pérez-Simon helped me with Micah's mum's French. Marvin Ward taught me about running techniques. Rebecca Skloot helped me understand DNA testing. I am aware that cheek swab saliva testing is the most common method these days, but blood is more dramatic. Plus, Micah's a liar, remember? It probably was a cheek swab saliva test. I mean, if she did the test at all.

There were many inspirations for this book. The song “Why Do I Lie?” by Luscious Jackson was particularly important. I listened to it many, many times during the writing. So, too, was a long conversation I had with John Green on the subject of lying, which you can find here:
http://justinelarbalestier.com/blog/2006/09/21/john-green-and-the-art-of-lying/
. Conversations with Chantal Bourgault over the years about her doctoral research also had a huge impact on this book.

Charles Ardai and Sarah Weinman very kindly gave me a great deal of advice about how the mystery book world works.

Thanks also to Melissa A. Calderone for giving me secret information.

I am a writer who does not thrive on being alone. In addition to everyone already mentioned, conversations with the following wonderful people had an impact on this book: John Bern, Niki Bern, Deborah Biancotti, Tempest Bradford, Kate Crawford, Margaret Crocker, Bo Daley, Sarah Dollard, Adrian Hobbs, Emily Jenkins, Ellen Kushner, Yanni Kuznia, Margo Lanagan, Jennifer Laughran, Stephanie Leary, Lauren McLaughlin, Jeannie Messer, Jaclyn Moriarty, Garth Nix, Olivia Rousset, Sarah Rees-Brennan, Ben Rosenbaum, John Scalzi, Delia Sherman, Cat Sparks, Micole Sudberg, and Edwina Throsby.

Lastly and always, thank you to my wonderful family, John Bern, Niki Bern, Jan Larbalestier, and Scott Westerfeld.