License to Love (An Agent Ex Novel) (31 page)

“Yes,” the chief said. “If we’re smart about this, we’ll take down some of RIOT’s most wanted. If we get lucky, we’ll take the ace of spades, Random himself.”

“It’s risky, Chief,” Lani protested. “My baby—”

“Everything we do is risky,” the chief said. “Our rescue team will have your baby back before the big show.”

“I don’t like this.” Something felt off to Lani. “Random’s a forked-tongued monster who’s incapable of speaking the truth. He could just as easily be setting us up.”

“Like we’re setting him up?” the chief said. “You know the way the game is played. Spying is more a chess match than anything. The best we can do is guess and anticipate our opponent’s next move. If it’s any consolation—he’s at the same disadvantage. We proceed as discussed.”

The chief glanced at his watch. “I have to run. Good luck, all of you. Keep me informed. Oh, and Rock, wear the spy ring and keep the thumb gun and wand gun on you. We don’t just invent these devices willy-nilly, you know. There’ll come another time when you need them. Count on it.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Rock was staring out the window of his master bedroom suite into the darkness of midnight when the door softly opened and Lani slid in almost silently. He sensed her hesitation as she hovered just inside the door. He could almost feel her gaze boring into his back. But he didn’t turn around or invite her in. Call him a coward, but he wasn’t sure he could face her. Why the hell had he thought he was smarter than the CIA?

From the time he’d first fallen in love with her, he’d believed she loved him back, deeply, passionately, with every part of her that she allowed herself to love with. She was an outsider, someone who’d never really belonged, someone like him. They belonged together, and that was all that mattered. He knew there was a part of Lani she didn’t, or couldn’t, share with him. Or anyone else.

But everyone had secrets, including him, and he’d have been a hypocrite to hold it against her. In time, when she was ready, if there was a need, she’d share hers with him. Yeah, that she was a CIA agent. Now that had been a shock.

And later, after her return, after the big secret agent reveal, he knew she kept another secret, as it turned out, his son. He should have trusted her with that secret, trusted her enough to act to protect those she loved. He should have waited for her to come to him with it. Trust was the true magic of a relationship.

If he’d only left well enough alone, waited out the mission, and wooed his way back into Lani’s life, he believed she would have told him about Stone. Once the mission was over and the danger was past. Once RIOT no longer had a use for him.

Rock saw it all clearly now, the reason Lani had risked everything to come on this mission. It was their only chance to be a family.

And he’d messed up royally, proving he didn’t trust her and putting their baby’s life in danger. He wanted nothing more than to see his son, hold him in his arms, see the look of forgiveness in Lani’s eyes. He’d do anything to make it right. “Any news?”

He pictured her shaking her head, could almost hear the movement in the silent room.

“RIOT has them,” she said. “Our team is tracking them down, but they believe both Nanny and Stone are alive and safe for now. RIOT needs them alive at least until the illusion goes off as they want.” She paused. “You okay?”

What could he say? Hell no, he wasn’t okay. He wondered whether he’d ever be okay again. If Random killed Stone, nothing would ever be the same again.

“I’m sorry, Lani,” he said instead. She didn’t need him laying his guilt trip on her. He didn’t feel like talking about it anyway. “This Nanny person, is she undercover?”

Lani nodded. “As an old friend of mine who’s watching Stone until I bring him out and use him to extort money from you. That was the cover story we planned.

“Of course, when you rescued me and we had a happy reunion, the story had to change. Now Nanny is keeping Stone until I can find a good way to tell you about him.” She snorted. “I guess I blew that one.”

“Yeah.” Rock paused. “Sol’s all over the papers and social media taking credit for finding you and saying he’s worried about you, that he fears you were becoming addicted to prescription painkillers. You were acting strangely just before the act.” Rock snorted. “He must be sweating bullets not knowing how you survived and what accusations we might make against him.”

“I’ve seen them. I’ve also seen the picture of us in the limo with the window open and the flash powder smoke pouring out.
Smokin’ Hot Reunion,
I think was the headline.”

“Sol won’t take this quietly. He’ll retaliate again if he can. He was dangerous before, but now he’s terrifying. If he can find a way to mess up our illusion, he will. And if we fail—” His voice broke.

They both knew what Rock meant.

She came up behind him so close he could feel her heat behind him. He saw her hesitation reflected in the window glass before him.

“We’re watching Sol.” She laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed softly, not saying anything. “Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know.”

“I should have trusted you. I should have left well enough alone. You would have told me.
Eventually
. When the time was right.”

He spun around to face her and took her gently by the arms. “Stone, the baby, that’s why you resisted making love with me. That’s why you pushed me away.

“You were afraid you’d be tempted to tell me about him. The closer we got, the more tempted you’d be. You were afraid you might even slip up.”

“You’re too observant, Rock. That’s always been your curse. You’re exactly right.” She bowed her head. “I was afraid, all along, you’d find out about him. I almost turned down this mission. But the chief made it impossible.

“Becoming a mother does something to a woman’s soul, makes her into a different person. I was never afraid before. Not for myself. Now I’m afraid all the time. For Stone. I’ve become softer. More vulnerable.” Her voice went very soft. “Fear isn’t good for a spy.”

Rock swallowed hard and let go of her arms. To his surprise, she slid her arms around him and pressed her head against his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin. He held her tightly, afraid she’d pull away and he’d lose her forever. He kissed the top of her head.

“If you could see him, Rock. He’s so precious, so precocious. Like you.” Her voice caught. “His hair is the coarsest baby hair I’ve ever felt, and yet as soft as anything you could imagine. It stands straight up like a buzz cut and sometimes I want nothing more than to run my hands lightly over it.

“He laughs all the time and when he does it comes from deep in his belly, a real baby chortle that can’t help but make me smile, even on the worst of days. He walked before he crawled and he rolled everywhere before he walked. He has tiny stubby legs, and dimples in his hand, and his diaper gives him a big bubble butt he’s always falling over on. And yet, when he wants he can practically outrun me.

“He sleeps with a stuffed rabbit that lights up at night and projects magical stars on the ceiling. During the day he carries it around by the ears, along with a toy magic wand he likes to wave around as he says something that sounds kind of like abracadabra. But his first word was daddy…” Lani grabbed Rock’s shirt in her fist and squeezed it tight. Her body trembled in his arms as if she was trying not to cry.

He kissed the top of her head again and tipped her chin up to meet her eye. “We have to trust Nanny. You told me she’s a top agent. She’ll protect him. We have to believe that.”

He paused. “We’ll get him back.” Rock set his jaw. “I’ll get him back if I have to give my life for his.”

“Rock—”

“No, I mean it. I’ll do anything to make this right again and get our baby back. Without him, we’re lost and you and I are doomed. We’ll never forgive ourselves. I’ll never forgive myself.” He tightened his grip on her.

“I love you, Lani. Like I’ve never loved anyone before and don’t expect to ever love again.” He gently stroked her cheek, brushing a tear away.

He’d made his brave spy wife cry. Shit, he was an asshole.

“This will be the illusion of our lives, baby,” he said. “We’ll give the show of a generation, fool RIOT, and we’ll get our baby back. Promise.”

Her mouth was inches from his. Her lips quivered. He wanted her, wanted one last time to be with her while they were still whole. Because if their world fell apart, things would never be the same again and he’d lose her.

She stared into his eyes, holding him as if she’d never let go.

He held her tight. She was worth fighting for. Their baby, their life together, he’d never stop fighting for them.

She looked up at him, took his face in her hands, and very gently pulled him down into a kiss.

*   *   *

Rock could make barren rosebushes bloom before her eyes, pull coins from out of nowhere and make them disappear again, levitate, and even walk on water. But his real magic was the way he made Lani feel—safe, secure, comforted, and loved. All of those emotions swept over her as she pulled Rock’s face into hers for a kiss. He’d been suddenly distant, tentative, as if afraid she’d reject him, as if she blamed him. She had to show him she didn’t. Words were one thing, actions another.

The blame was hers for keeping Stone from him. And now she was panicked and frightened she’d blown things for them forever, stolen Rock’s chance to ever know his son. Rock was right. They had to remain calm and trust Nanny. Nanny was the best. But RIOT was a foe worthy of fear.

Lani’s lips met Rock’s tender, tentative kiss and another magic was revealed—the comfort of his embrace, the powerful quake of chemistry between them, and the way they belonged together. Rock made her feel like she belonged, and if that belonging was only to him, that was fine by her.

She slid her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through the tangle of hair at the nape of his neck as she leaned into him and kissed him with the intensity she’d been holding back for far too long.

Rock responded in kind, kissing her so deeply he nearly took her breath away. Lani wanted Rock in the worst way. Needed the urgency of his lovemaking and the union of their souls. She unwrapped her arms from his neck, slid her hands down his chest and up under his shirt to stroke his bare chest.

Rock’s muscles flexed beneath her touch. His chest was hard and strong, and she could feel his heart racing.

In the movies, impediments like clothing just disappear or are tantalizingly removed in suggestive stripteases. Lani’s scramble to get Rock naked and him to strip her bare were more like those of a quick-change artist—desperate and fast, clothes flying everywhere until they stood naked staring at each other and breathing hard.

She ran her gaze over his lean, hard chest and arms, admiring the design of his tattoos as they covered his sculpted body.
Lani in omne tempus.
She leaned forward and sucked his nipple, placing her hand over the words of his pledge and his heart. She slid her tongue over the words, licking her way to his other nipple while he stood perfectly still. She sucked it until he whispered her name.

She ran her tongue down his body, licking him gently across the heart and the dragon on his torso as she slid to her knees, stroking his hard-on with her free hand. Just as she was prepared to lick and tease him and take him into her mouth, he pulled her chin up.

“Damn it, Lani. I don’t have that much control.” He swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed where he gently laid her down. He came down on top of her, kissing her, stroking her, driving her wild with need.

Poised over her, Rock was long and hard and ready for action. She and Rock had never been poetic. They’d always opted for fun. She ran her gaze down the length of him, fixed her sights on his arousal, and arched a brow, aching for him to be inside.

“Now you see it,” she whispered to him, as she had so many times before.

He leaned down, nibbled her neck, and whispered, “Now you don’t.”

With a thrust so powerful it made her gasp, he was inside her. She locked her legs around his waist and rode him in the way she’d imagined doing too many lonely nights over the last years. She made love to him like the scared, desperate woman she was.

They rocked the bed and banged the headboard against the wall. He thrust. She held on and arched back to his rhythm. She could lead, but this time she found comfort in letting him take control. She let him work his magic, moaning, and arching back as Rock wound every thread of passion and fear together in her, tightened, and amplified into a tapestry of ecstasy. Rock made music with her body in a pulsing crescendo beat until she thought the build couldn’t last a minute longer.

He toyed with her, pushing her almost to the edge and pulling back at the last minute to restring the bow and begin tightening her strings again.

She looked him in the eye. “Take me there, Rock.
Now
.”

He grinned. And then he did what no other magician had ever done for her—pulled an orgasm out of her with an intensity she’d never known.

As she gasped and arched up, Rock thrust twice more and followed her to climax, grunting and collapsing on top of her.

They were sweaty and breathing hard as she released the lock she held him in with her legs.

He pushed up as if he was about to roll off her. She held him a moment longer, looking up at him and letting everything she felt shine in her eyes. This may be the last opportunity to let Rock know what he meant to her. “I love you, Rock.”

As he stared down at her, the corners of his mouth curled up very slightly, but not quite into a smile. There was nothing really to smile about. He knew what she was saying. She saw the realization in his eyes.

If they didn’t get Stone back safely, if something went wrong with the illusion, or Nanny screwed up, then this was good-bye. Lani planned to disappear into the shadowy ether of the spy world and throw herself into destroying RIOT with every part of her being. She’d no longer care whether they killed her or not. She’d give her life to take out as many RIOT operatives as possible.