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Authors: Kelly McClymer

Tags: #family, #secret shopper, #maine mom, #mystery shopper mom

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BOOK: License to Shop
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At last, she looked up at
me. “So, Molly,” she said, pasting on a rather frightening smile
that said, Now it is time for me to smile at this mouse of a
candidate, so she does not know that I am about to eat her for
lunch. “Tell me why you would make a good candidate for the
Admissions Counselor position.”


I really believe in a
good education,” I began.


That goes without
saying,” she interrupted.

Of course it did. The
confidence I’d tried to keep ballooned in my chest let out a
sputtering gasp as it deflated completely. “I have a rapport with
kids,” I continued, trying to keep on the script that Seth and I
had practiced last night.

As soon as her smile
curved up with a predatory gotcha, I remembered something Seth had
said — say ‘young adults’ not kids. Oops.

Before I could correct
myself, she said, “Our students are no longer children.”


No, of course not. Young
adults. I remember those days,” I tried to do what Seth and I had
decided—tell a story of my own college days; make it sound like it
wasn’t two kids, a husband, and a mystery shopping career ago. “I
didn’t call my mother for two months after I got on campus my first
semester. She nearly sent out the police to find me.” I
laughed.

Dr. Stubbs didn’t. At that
moment, her phone gave the text chime again. She frowned, then
picked up the phone and texted back a reply. She put down the phone
and then raised her eyes to mine coldly, as if to ask why I had
stopped talking.


I’m organized and
energetic,” I said, echoing two of the biggest fudges on my resume.
If this didn’t start going better, I was doomed.

I frantically tried to
imagine Dierdre in this situation. How would she act? Would she
name drop? I didn’t dare. University politics was as cut-throat as
any other politics. If I dropped the wrong name, my application
would end up in the circular file as soon as I left the office. Why
hadn’t I asked Deirdre or Seth which names would be safe to
drop?

Dr. Stubbs decided not to
waste any more time, and cut to the chase with the most important
question. “Picture yourself faced with an eager young high school
student. He wants to know why our university is the best. So—what
are the top ten reasons a student should consider our
university?”

That was a great question.
Unfortunately, my mind went blank. I hedged. “Well, to answer that,
I’d need to know the student’s ultimate goal. Is he intending to be
an engineer? A wood scientist? An MBA?”

Her eyes narrowed, and I
stopped listing every possible major I could think of in order to
kick my brain into good-answer-mode. I’d never have a chance on
Jeopardy. As soon as it was my turn, my brain would freeze. My
mouth would keep going, but that rarely ended well.

Just then, the room filled
with noise that made me want to cower. I was so focused on trying
to kick my brain into great-answer-mode, that the sound didn’t
compute for a second. Then it did. The fire alarm.

We looked at each other as
if to ask if we should ignore the noise? As if anyone could ignore
deafening klaxons for very long.

She stood, scooped up
Sofie and her cell phone, and left. I gathered my purse and
followed. Kecia was trying to manage the dry cleaning, her own
purse, Dr. Stubb’s purse, and the basket of agitated
puppies.

I grabbed the two puppies
who had almost escaped from the basket, trying not to think about
how the dog fur was going to cling to my interview suit, and we
hurried out of the building, passing many of the other occupants,
who were walking at a normal pace, looking around to assess whether
it was a false alarm, or whether they could see flames or smell
smoke.

I might have been one of
the curious amblers, if I wasn’t trying to impress Dr. Henriette
Stubbs as I followed her straight back and quick stride, with two
squirming puppies in my grasp. Was the interview still in progress?
Or was it on hold until the fire alarm situation was sorted? I
didn’t dare relax until I knew for sure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

Interview Interruptus

 

We gathered
slightly away from the building, all of us scanning the building,
as if expecting to see flames shooting out of the room. But there
were no flames. Not even any smoke. Just a lot of chattering people
speculating on how long it was going to take to get back into the
building. We could hear the fire engine siren in the distance,
growing closer.

The woman who held the
fate of my “real” job in her hand looked at me, then looked at her
watch, an elegant gold bracelet-watch that was analog, not digital.
“How inconvenient. I’m afraid we’re going to have to reschedule if
this goes on too long.”

I bit my lip, wondering if
I should confess I would have to leave shortly. I could bail on the
shop, but if I did, I’d never get the full spa treatment shop Sue,
my favorite scheduler, had promised me as my big send off to “real
job” world. After this interview, I really needed it.


I brought the appointment
book,” Kecia took the book from the basket of squirming puppies and
held it up. Mega-points to her, not that her boss seemed impressed.
“I can start canceling last appointment first if you
like.”


Yes. Do that, Kecia. That
will give us time to juggle everything else.” Dr. Stubbs checked
her phone as if she were expecting a text or a call. She turned her
back on us and started texting furiously.

I moved a little closer to
Kecia, and listened as the last appointment for the day got
shuffled to tomorrow’s schedule while the fire trucks arrived. I
tried not to watch the minutes ticking by, as I was ignored. Should
I suggest that we could do the interview out here as well as
inside? What could I do out here that would make me look like a
good candidate for the job?

I came up with nothing,
except to be patient and polite during the wait. Which wasn’t as
easy as it sounded, considering I was holding two squirmy puppies.
Kecia had put the basket down at her feet, so I dropped the two
puppies back in with the rest and stood next to Kecia, trying to
look confident and successful while the firemen swarmed into the
building and disappeared.

Nothing much happened
until the next appointment needed to be cancelled. Except that the
puppies decided to make their escape. I tried to herd them back
into the basket with my foot, with little success, which was when I
had an idea of how to make myself look perfect for the
job.


Quick!” I said to Kecia,
who was imitating her boss, and texting on her phone. I bent down
and put the wandering puppies back in the basket. “Marketing
opportunity at hand.” I glanced around at the milling crowd. Sure,
there were some students, but there were more faculty and staff.
Even a few visiting parents. “These are the kind of people who
might want to bring a puppy home.”

She looked up from her
phone, her gaze puzzled for a moment as she switched gears from her
conversation with whomever she had been texting, to registering my
suggestion. One glance at the crowd, and then one at the puppies —
two of which had escaped the confines of the basket yet again — and
she nodded, and then beamed at me. “You are a genius. Watch my
stuff?” She pointed to the dry cleaning and the purses, and I
nodded.

She gathered the wandering
puppies into the basket and, scanning the area, she headed for a
bench, where the puppies would be more visible. In under thirty
seconds, she was surrounded by cooing puppy admirers. Some of them
even looked old enough to live in a place where they could own a
pet.

I turned my attention to
Dr. Stubbs, who was still bent over her phone, texting. Did I dare
risk her wrath by interrupting her?

She stopped texting,
glanced at the building, then looked at her watch. I looked at my
phone. I had a shop scheduled in an hour and a half. Could I put it
off so I could finish this disaster of an interview? I didn’t think
so.

As I stood wondering
whether to say something or not, a new mom I recognized from the
school came up to us. “What’s going on?”


Fire alarm.” This seemed
obvious to me, but then I noticed that this mom was dressed to kill
an interview. Just like me.


False?” she asked, with
distinct hope lilting the end of the question.

I tried not to sound
equally hopeful, even though I had been just before I saw her.
“We’re still waiting to find out.”


I have an appointment.”
She pulled out her phone and checked the time.

I realized she was
probably the appointment after mine.

I’d never have seen the
competition if it weren’t for the fire alarm. I didn’t know if fate
were being kind or cruel.

I checked her out, using
my mystery shopping checklist.

Makeup? Check. Subtle and
professional.

Clothes. Tailored and a
quality make. Check.

Shoes. Heels. Probably
Manolos. Not new, but still stylish. Check.

Her hair was perfectly cut
and arranged. There was a breeze, which only made her hair blow in
a pretty fashion, while mine was obscuring my vision and probably
looked like a rat’s nest by now.

 

My confidence balloon deflated completely. My
competition for the job looked like an admissions counselor. Her
suit was polished and professional, but also had a stylish vibe
that potential college students would be drawn to.

Next to her, I looked like
a fraud.

She smiled and, obviously
lacking my hesitation, introduced herself to Henriette Stubbs,
shaking hands, taking charge of the conversation. If Dr. Stubbs had
intended to make this woman wait, she wasn’t going to get the
opportunity.

I looked at the building,
wondering if the firemen would ever come back out and break up this
impromptu interview which was trouncing my sad efforts without even
trying.

I picked up the two purses
and the dry-cleaning, and walked over to the bench, where there
were now only three puppies awaiting good homes.


You found homes for two
of them already? Congratulations.”

Kecia pointed to a student
with a clipboard under one arm and a puppy under the other. “That
young woman was collecting signatures for a petition to make the
university keep private information unhackable.”

I had seen something about
that on the nightly news. Students were starting to realize just
how much information the university had on them. Several of them
had even had their identities hijacked recently, according to the
student paper Seth brought home every week. “So you
signed?”

Kecia shook her head.
“Nope, I don’t sign petitions. But she lives off campus, so she
took a puppy anyway.”

She laughed. “Who would
have thought I’d be glad of a fire alarm.” Kecia stroked the
puppies gently. “These little guys deserve better than the
pound.”


I think the next
interview just arrived.” I pointed to the two women, deep in happy
conversation. No doubt my competition knew exactly what to say to
convince students to come to our university. She’s probably even
signed that student’s petition to make the university database
unhackable. “Maybe we’ll have to interview out here.”

One fireman came out and
my hopes lifted. But then he gestured to someone standing nearby
and they both went back into the building.


They have to check the
whole building, top to bottom,” Kecia said, as if in answer to my
unspoken question. “They’ve eliminated the possibility of big
fires, so now they need to check in locked offices and storerooms,
so they have to get the building manager to open them. I’m afraid
Dr. Stubbs will wait until we’re all back in the building to
continue the interview. Would you like me to reschedule
you?”


I’m in no hurry,” I lied,
watching the firemen check the foundation. They seemed annoyed at
finding no sign of fire. “Almost makes you want to hope it isn’t a
false alarm, so they won’t be disgruntled at finding
nothing.”

She laughed. “I’ve been
through this a few times. Even for a false alarm, they have to know
for sure it is false. Otherwise,” she shrugged, the lift of her
shoulders encompassing all disasters that could happen if a small
fire were left to grow into a bigger one in a building full of
paper, books, and glossy brochures of every size and
shape.

She lifted her phone to
cancel another appointment and I held up my hand. “Wait. Maybe you
should give that poor person a reprieve and I’ll reschedule for
tomorrow. Do you think rescheduling will harm my shot with Dr.
Stubbs?”


She’ll probably be
grateful if you do.” I kept my doubts at the idea Dr. Stubbs would
ever be grateful for anything to myself as Kecia consulted the
appointment book. She was interrupted by one of the firemen, who
had wandered over. “Cute puppies.”

Not willing to abandon the
opportunity to place a puppy, Kecia forgot all about me. “Want one
for the firehouse?” Kecia cajoled. “They’re the sweetest little
things.”

BOOK: License to Shop
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ads

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