Lie to Me (an OddRocket title) (13 page)

"Okay," I whispered. Mom had two levels of anger, the quiet kind and the loud kind. Quiet was the scariest; it was so much worse than when she'd lose her temper in a fierce, Irish storm. Quiet anger hung around the house for days, hovering above us like a heavy, damp cloud.

"Know I love you," she said, her voice shaking for a second.

"I love you, too, Mom." I started to cry. All of the stress of the evening cracked me open and I felt it pour out of me in a big, shaking flood.

"Oh, sweetheart." Mom came and wrapped her arms around me and, for a minute, I felt safe like I had with RD, but then I remembered that she might be going away, so I just cried harder and hiccupped, my nose stuffing up and my throat hurting.

"Shh, Cassie. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to do this to you."

"Do what?" I stammered.

She didn't answer, but held me tighter instead. "You ready to go in?"

We walked back toward the house and she held my hand, the way she'd always done when I was little. Our hands were about the same size, even though I was a good three inches taller than her now. I'd outgrown Mom in
the eighth grade.

"So where'd you go?" she asked.

"To the marina," I said.

"What'd you do?"

"Hung out by the boats," I said. I didn't want to tell her about RD. I'd said I wouldn't lie, but I couldn't tell her the whole truth. "I'm really sorry, Mom," I said before she opened the front door.

"You can tell me anything, you know that?" She looked me straight in the eyes. It felt like she was trying to see inside me.

"I know."

As we walked through the entryway, I saw Addie’s camera on the side table. I couldn’t take it now but, first thing in the morning, I needed to destroy that film. What happened between RD and me was our secret. I wasn't sharing his kiss with anyone.

I woke up the next morning wishing I could go back to sleep and dream of RD. Curled up under my covers, the memory of his kiss still made my lips tingle. It had been so different with Nick. Kissing Nick had been wet, his lips almost swallowing mine. Standing under the trees in the Forgotten Woods, RD's kiss had seemed perfect and wrong all at the same time. I'd felt something deep in my stomach. Instead of wondering whether he was going to try and stick his tongue down my throat, like with Nick, I'd wondered what it would be like to just stay there with him. To fall into his arms and let him take care of everything that had gone wrong.

Except that was crazy talk. I could do the math. He was still in college. I was in high school. There weren’t that many years between sixteen and twenty-three, but he had basically told me we couldn’t be together. And what if Addie had taken our picture? If Addie knew about us, she'd literally explode before she'd manage to keep something like that bottled up inside.

"No one can find out about this," I whispered to myself. "You started this, Cassie. Clean up your mess." I pulled myself out of bed and stood in front of the full-length mirror on the back of my door. I looked the same, but I didn't feel even remotely like myself. Someone else had crawled inside my skin. "How are you going to keep this secret?" I asked. The face in the mirror stared back at me without an answer.

"Where's Addie?" I asked Aunt Lucy when I went downstairs.

"She's at some art workshop at the Boys and Girls Club." Aunt Lucy held a cup of coffee. Her long, slender fingernails were perfectly manicured and painted candy apple red. "Your mom signed her up. It's photography."

"Great." Addie was probably taking pictures and making posters out of RD and me making out in the woods. I needed to get that camera. "Is Mom up?"

"She's resting."

Her comment dropped on the countertop between us. Aunt Lucy and I glanced at each other, saying nothing. I tried to pretend that my life wasn't ending, so I smiled, but I felt like the energy shifted in our home that morning. Mom wouldn't be coming down for breakfast anymore and a word like
resting
had become suspicious. Things were happening so fast.

"So, Cassie, your mom says I'm supposed to go to the Hideaway with you. She wants me to meet Mariah? Is that her name?" I nodded. Great. So now I'd have Aunt Lucy at home
and
at the restaurant watching me.

"I'm going to help out a little bit and keep an eye on things for your mom."

And make my life even worse
, I thought. It would be way more difficult to see RD with both Aunt Lucy and Mom watching. "I thought you had a real job," I said.

"I do have a real job." Her voice had a sharp edge to it and her cheeks flushed red. “I'm on a sabbatical."

"Whatever. I didn't mean to be rude." Yes, I had. I knew it wasn't entirely fair, but I resented Aunt Lucy being in our kitchen. "You're a lawyer, right?"

"Uh huh." Aunt Lucy took a sip of her coffee. "I went to the same law school as your mother, before she decided to give up her education and live on this island."

Her tone made my blood boil. "Mom said she didn't want to practice law. She likes San Sebastian. And she's good at what she does."

"Uh huh. Let me know when you're ready." As Aunt Lucy left the kitchen, all my guilt over being mean to her vanished. Who was she to make comments about Mom and her choices? I was beginning to understand why Mom wasn't that close to her sister. She was so judgmental and I didn't really care if she liked me or not. Being nice to everyone was no longer one of my personal goals.

When we arrived at the Hideaway, Mariah was leaning on the counter on her elbows, paging through the July issue of Bride Magazine.

Mariah busted up laughing as she looked at a picture. "Hey, Cassie," she said, her face changing when she saw me, "I need to talk to you about something." But when she looked up and saw Aunt Lucy, she beamed. "Oh, I'm sorry. You must be Naomi's sister!" Mariah ran around the counter to shake Aunt Lucy's hand. Aunt Lucy smiled and brushed her jeans off like she thought the air in the Hideaway might make them dirty. I decided to leave them alone so Aunt Lucy could pretend she liked island restaurants and Mariah could pretend not to notice how my aunt was a total snob.

I walked into the kitchen to grab my red apron. Stopping in front of the mirror, I touched my lips with my fingertips, wondering if anyone else could tell I was different. Had RD left his mark on me?

Nick sat on a stool by the door behind me, looking sullen and deflated. I almost jumped out of my skin. "What are you doing here?" I asked, slamming the drawer under the sink closed, my cheeks burning.

"It's my shift."

"Mom said she fixed our shifts so..."

"So you wouldn't have to be in the same room as me. I know."

"Can you blame me?"

Nick shrugged. "Look. Mariah called and said I was on the schedule. She said she was sorry, but there is some ferry-load of tourists heading up here and she thinks we're going to be slammed." Nick looked stressed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Cassie, I can quit if this is how it's going to be. I can just turn in my apron."

I hated how melodramatic he sounded. Mariah knew a couple of tour guides who specialized in bringing heaps of people through the Islands in the summer. Business had been down for a while and I knew that Mom needed those customers. Sure enough, Mariah had changed the schedule above the sink with a blue marker.
10-3 p.m. Cassie & Nick
.

"Don't quit," I said, closing my eyes for a moment.

"What?"

"We need you. The restaurant needs you, okay?" With Mom being sick, the last thing Mariah needed was to replace a waiter, even a marginally good one.

"But are you okay with it?"

I looked at him for a moment, the dark-haired drummer boy who I'd listened to in cold garages for the better part of a winter. The boy I had dreamed of kissing from the moment he’d skateboarded into my life in first grade. I had wanted him to want me for so long and now, when I looked at him, suddenly I didn't care so much. All I could think about was RD's kiss and the firm way he'd held me. The memory of Nick's kisses, so sloppy and small, paled in comparison to what I'd felt in the woods last night.

"You know what?" I turned to the mirror again and put on cherry bomb lip gloss instead of pale pink. "I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I don't really care." I smacked my lips. "I've moved on."

"Moved on like 'seeing someone' moved on?" Nick said. He looked panicked and hurt. And, in that moment, I wanted him to believe it.

"You could say that." I calmly slipped my lip gloss into my pocket, trying to act cool. I hadn't confirmed or denied anything with my statements.

"Really? So soon?"

I was about to tell him that I didn't really have a boyfriend when Nick asked me an insanely stupid question.

"So did you meet this guy before or after we broke up?"

This was too much. I looked at him slumped in his chair by the door, making me be the bigger person by inviting him to stay for the summer. I couldn't believe I'd let this boy cause me so much heartache. "In case you've forgotten, you dumped me and you made out with my best friend. So let's not start talking about cheating."

"What?" His eyes widened. "I'm just wondering when you met the guy."

"No. You want to know if I cheated on you because then you wouldn't have to feel so guilty about Priya. Thank you for reminding me why my life is so much better without you."

"Easy, Cass. This is intense."

"Whatever. I'm going to work. And it's not intense. It's stupid."

"It's just you deserve the best." Nick stood up and straightened his apron. He even made the Hideaway apron look hot. "Whoever you’re with, I know now what a good person you are and I just hope he treats you right. I mean, does he? Is he good to you?"

His questions stunned me. I stood with my mouth open. I don't have a boyfriend, I wanted to say. I have a kiss, a kiss in the woods with a guy who may never touch me again and, oh, did I mention that my mother's dying? Mom's sick and nothing feels right in this world anymore. But I didn't say any of those things. I stood in place, frozen still, but shaking on the inside.

"We better get to work.” I turned away and focused on scrubbing my hands under hot water. "Please don't quit. My mom needs you here."

Mariah had put Aunt Lucy to work cleaning menus and filling the catsup bottles. Until you work in a restaurant that serves burgers and fries, it's impossible to understand how much catsup people consume. It's gross. Aunt Lucy held the bottles as if they were scientific experiments. She looked totally out of place with her pressed jeans and manicured nails. "Shouldn't these be disinfected?" she asked.

"Once a year, whether they need it or not." Mariah winked at me and Aunt Lucy blanched. "Cassie, I wanted to tell you..."

"It's cool," I said. "I can handle it."

"You can?" Mariah said, glancing at Nick as he left the kitchen.

"Yep, we need him."

"Okay, then." Mariah nodded at me as if she were proud. "Cass, you've got tables one through four and Einstein's got the rest. You guys split the counter. Lucy, you ready to get a once-over in the kitchen?" Mariah pointed to the swinging red doors.

"I don't know. Do you think you're ready for me in there?" Aunt Lucy looked terrified by the idea of giving up catsup duty.

"Don't worry. I'm not that good of a cook, anyway. You'll be fine." Mariah and Aunt Lucy went back into the kitchen and I went to work scrubbing tables. I felt bad for coming a little unhinged with Nick, but it had been impossible not to. After everything that had happened, he'd questioned my integrity. It made me wonder if I'd ever known him at all.

"Hello, you," a voice said. My pulse raced. I could hear the smile in his tone. RD had taken a seat behind me in his regular booth. I hadn't even heard the bells ring on the front door.

"Is this your section today?" he asked, as I placed a menu on his table.

"Yes, sir." There were so many things I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't voice a single one. I was just thrilled to see him, to be near him. I hoped this meant things were okay between us.

"I only have time for coffee," he said. "Slept in today, and once again, I was way too lazy to make my own brew."

"You sure you don't want anything else? I can get your order in quick and Mariah makes buttermilk pancakes super fast." I felt so nervous babbling in front of him.

"Actually, no. I'm good." He lowered his voice. "I kind of wanted to see you, see how you're doing, you know after."

"I'm good. I'm fine."

"You sure?" He stared at me, his clear blue eyes narrowing slightly.

"Totally."

"Okay.” He paused before giving me a crooked smile. "You know what we did? We really can't."

"Totally. I know it was just this thing. It's no big deal." It was such a big deal. The biggest.

"I didn't say that."

"So, did you say you want cream with your coffee?" I said as Nick walked past carrying a stack of menus.

"Please." He nodded catching my cue. "And if you have time this week, come on by and do some sanding. I still need your help on the boat."

"Sure, I have time." I smiled. "Okay, coffee. Be right back." I ran to the counter and grabbed the glass coffee pot. RD was here to see me, but last night was a one-time thing. My heart ached a little, but at least he still wanted me to work on the boat.

"So, you find out who was out there last night?” RD glanced over his shoulder, keeping his voice low so no one would hear us while I filled his cup.

"It was Addie,” I said.

“Thought so.”

“And I took care of everything. I took the film." I lied so quickly I surprised myself. My heart felt like it had crawled into my throat. “She didn’t see anything anyway.” Standing in front of RD, looking into his blue eyes, I didn't want anything else to come between us. I had one good thing going for me this summer. Mom and Addie were not going to ruin it.

"All right then." He smiled and something crossed his face. Relief I think. He lifted his mug. "Any chance you got a to-go cup?"

"Sure." I went behind the counter retrieving a paper cup with a lid.

“Thanks for the service,” he said, winking as he transferred his coffee. “I gotta run and this is for you.” He stood up and pressed something into my hand. “I’ll see you later, beautiful.”