Life in Death (10 page)

Kari couldn’t speak for Morgan, but her mother’s reluctance to play a bigger role in her life made her resentful.

Sonora’s station in life improved dramatically upon her second marriage and subsequent death of her new husband a year later from a car accident. He left her a sizable life insurance policy. The loss and the lump sum caused a metamorphosis in her. An ordained minister now, she practically lived at church. Kari saw the true Sonora whenever she visited. The change had only been on the surface. She was the same beneath it all.

It was too early to pick Erik up from school when Kari got into town, so she called her mother out of a sense of obligation. She left several messages, but never got a response. Her family wasn’t a
come on over anytime
kind of family. You always had to call first to announce your intention to visit and
if
they wanted to see you, they’d let you know.

Screw it.
Kari had never been big on family protocol anyway. She drove to her mother’s house and rang the doorbell.

Sonora cautiously opened the door, dressed in a maroon pantsuit and a silk taupe blouse. A gilded butterfly broach adorned her jacket lapel. She’d cut her salt and pepper hair into a bob. “Hello, Mother.” Kari moved past her and into the house.

“When’d you get in?” she asked.

“A little while ago.”

“I have company. Come on back to the kitchen.”

An older woman sat at the kitchen table with her Bible open.

“Who’s this, Sonora?” The woman peered through black, horn-rimmed glasses at her.

“This is my youngest daughter, Kari,” Sonora said with a gesture of her hand. “This is Sylvia.”

“She’s pretty,” Sylvia said. Her dentures clicked when she talked.

“Yes, she is.” Sonora’s smile never reached her eyes. “Sylvia, can you excuse me for a few minutes?”

Sylvia nodded and turned her attention back to her Bible. Sonora and Kari walked into the living room.

Sonora’s house décor hadn’t changed from the last time Kari was there. Even the living room furniture was still covered in plastic. They sat across from each other on the cold coverings, squeaking under their respective weights as they settled into their seats.

“You didn’t get my messages?” Kari inquired, careful to keep accusation out of her voice.

“No, I haven’t checked my message machine.”

She lied. Sonora was always obsessive about her messages.

“Do you plan to see your sister while you’re here?” she asked.

“No. Morgan is always so angry. She really needs some professional help.”

“That’s what she says about you.” Sonora laughed.

“Why is that funny?”

“You’re both adults now. I won’t be put in the middle of you two.” Sonora waived her hand in what Kari characterized as dismissive. She caused much of the strife and division between her girls. That seemed to be Sonora’s main enjoyment in life before she’d found religion.

Kari should have bypassed her mother this visit and every visit from here on. Nothing had changed. Their time together was never positive. “Before I go, can I get that picture of you and Dad when you were in that red dress? I’d like to make a copy. I’ll bring it right back, I promise.” The mere mention of her dad always upset Sonora. And Kari simply couldn’t resist the urge to get under her skin.

“I haven’t the foggiest idea where that picture is.” Anger flashed in Sonora’s eyes. “I packed all that stuff away years ago.”

Sonora lied, of course. Erik told her Sonora showed him that picture a couple of weeks ago when he’d visited.

“You do the same thing every time I see you. You ask about
him
. Really, Kari, it’s quite tiresome.” Sonora grabbed a nail file from the end table and worked on her perfectly manicured nails.

“Get over it already,” Kari said.

“Lower your voice,” Sonora whispered, always concerned with appearances. “Listen, me and your dad weren’t on good terms when he died.”

Kari rolled her eyes. Sonora lied like a rug. All the lies she told made her look like a saint and her father the devil. Sonora was never a walk in the park herself. “What happened?”

“What happened between your dad and me isn’t for kids to know.”

“I’m not a kid anymore,” Kari said flatly.

“This is none of your business. I don’t have to explain it to you. Besides, you need to concentrate on Erik. He’s on the same road as your dad, and we know how he ended up.” She stood.

Kari remained seated. She’d leave when she was good and ready. “Sins of the father, right, Mother?”

“Yes, exactly. You need to get back into the church. It would do you and Erik some good. Look what it’s done for me. I’m blessed.”

“Praise the Lord.” Kari got to her feet. She’d had enough.

She literally bumped into her sister when she reached the front door.

“As I live and breathe,” Morgan said with a derisive laugh. “Erik told me you were headed here. You and Nick have done a bang up job with that boy.”

Kari glared at her. “Don’t talk to me about my son and I won’t talk to you about yours.”

Morgan didn’t counter. She didn’t dare. Her son had been in and out of drug rehab since age thirteen.

Kari went to move past her, but Morgan blocked her way. Sonora watched their interaction, but didn’t say a word.

“I hope you didn’t ask Mom about him again,” Morgan said.

“What’s with the two of you? You both act like it’s a crime to ask about my father. He was a good man.”

Morgan snorted. “No, he was a sociopath.”

“Whatever.” Kari grabbed her sister’s arm. “If you don’t move, I‘ll move you, and it won’t be very pleasant.”

“I guess you don’t remember the time we went to get ice cream.”

“I remember everything.” She let Morgan’s arm go.

Kari flashed back to that day. Sunday afternoon, not a cloud in the sky, and one of the few times their mom and dad were together. They drove through the city and enjoyed the sights and sounds, when, all of a sudden, their dad increased his speed.

“Slow down. The kids are in the car,” their mom said in an alarmed voice.

Kari and Morgan peered over their dad’s shoulder from the backseat. They quickly approached a red light. A man walked to the middle of the pedestrian crosswalk.

“Daddy, watch out!” Kari yelled.

He floored the gas pedal. The man in the crosswalk saw him and dashed to the sidewalk. Their dad swerved the car in a feverish attempt to hit him, but missed the man by mere inches. They all screamed.

“He owes me money,” their dad said in calm voice, then drove them to the ice cream parlor.

Their mom stared out the window the entire way there. She refused to get out of the car when they arrived. Their dad didn’t seem to care. Inside the ice cream store, Kari tried to act normal, but not Morgan.

“Daddy, you scared us and made Momma cry.” Morgan stood there with her hands balled into fists.

Kari held her breath. He had a hot temper and angered easily. He exploded most times without much provocation. Instead, he broke into a million watt smile, picked her up, and placed kisses all over her face until she giggled and said, “Stop it, Daddy.”

“Daddy won’t take care of business again with you guys in the car, okay?”

A touch on her shoulder brought Kari back to reality.

“It seems like you block every negative thing you hear about him.”

Kari shrugged. “It’s not that, they were kids when we were born, and immature.”

“Don’t make excuses for him. Accept the truth. You need help.”

Kari glanced at Sonora, who had a crooked smile on her face. Sick bitch. Kari looked back at Morgan. “I
got
help, and I’m better for it. You should try it.”

“Let her go. She’s just like him,” Sonora said.

Kari pushed her way past Morgan and out the door. She drove about a mile down the street before she pulled over and wept.

There was no place like home.

***

Kari’s head pounded loudly. Nick was pruning his rose bushes when she pulled up. He’d always had a green thumb. “You look like you’ve been through it,” he said as she walked up the sidewalk.

“I have.” She smiled. “Got any aspirin?”

He pulled off his work gloves. “Yep, c’mon in.”

Nick looked good in his black tank and khaki shorts. His arms and legs were more muscular than she remembered.

She took a seat in his living room and he disappeared into the back of the house. She rubbed her temples with her fingers to ease some of the pain.

“Here you go.” He held a glass of water in one hand and two aspirin in the other. She took both and thanked him, as he sat in a recliner across from her. She popped the pills into her mouth and took a drink.

“Let me guess. You went to see your mother.”

She nodded. “I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“Did you see Morgan, too?”

She nodded and tried to fight back the tears ready to spill onto her cheeks again.

“You look like you could use a hug.” He came over to her, pulled her up by her arms, and held her.

He had a musky, masculine smell she found wildly erotic. He ran his hands up and down her back.

“You look really good, Kar,” he whispered into her ear.

Kar.
He hadn’t called her that in years, but she remembered what it meant. Her body ached to be touched. She yearned to be satisfied. It had been too damn long. But she didn’t want Erik to find them in flagrante delicto.

“What about…”

“Erik will be home late.” He grabbed her head and pulled her close, then kissed her with fervor. She responded in kind. He led her into his bedroom.

He planted hot wet kisses down her throat and molded her breasts with his hands. Her headache was forgotten, replaced by a deep hunger for his touch. She watched with ragged breath as he unbuttoned her blouse, feasting his eyes on her naked breasts before taking one in his mouth. She moaned softly. He gently pushed her back on the bed and covered her with his body. He kissed her again as his hands roamed all over her. He made her wanton with desire for him. He stopped his assault on her, stood and reached into the nightstand. He found what he needed, closed the drawer and undressed in front of her: first his shirt, then shorts, and finally underwear. She lifted herself up as he slid her pants down over her legs. Her panties followed. He settled himself back atop her and entered her. The feeling was delicious, so very delicious.

***

Later, much later, she drifted off to sleep. She dreamt, but it was of a childhood memory.

Midnight on New Year’s Eve, their dad woke them and told them to follow him to the roof of the apartment building. They froze in their pajamas and slippers, but soon forgot their discomfort when he showed them a small, wooden box. They begged him to show them. He slowly lifted the lid. The silver barrel of a gun glistened in the lamplight. They gasped.

“We’ll fire off a gun at midnight every New Year’s Eve. This will be our tradition from now on.” He loaded the gun.

Fireworks burst into spectacular display in the air filling it with smoke and sulfur. They coughed and sputtered.

“It’s time. Morgan, you’re first.” He placed the gun in her hands, covered her hands with his, raised her arms high into the air, and then fired.

The re-coil knocked Morgan back into him. The loud noise it made scared Kari. Her turn came. Her father stood behind her, placed her hands on the gun with his hands atop hers and aimed high into the air. She moved at the last second, just as he fired. The bullet’s trajectory shifted and went into the second floor window of the adjacent apartment building. Someone screamed.

“Run,” their dad said.

And run they did, with their dad right behind them. Once safe inside their apartment, their dad glared at her.

“Damn it, Kari. You always mess everything up.”

Someone tapped her shoulder. She opened her eyes.

“Erik’s home. I told him you were asleep.” Nick smiled and kissed her on the lips.

“Tell him I’ll be right there.”

She wished her father could see her now. She wasn’t that timid little girl anymore. He’d be proud of what she’d become.

***

Kari freshened up and followed the sound of Erik’s voice to his room. She knocked on the door and opened it.

“That’s total bullshit,” he said into his phone.

“Erik.”

His head jerked around. He hung up.

“Hi, Mom. Sleep good?”

In the year he’d been gone, he’d grown a couple of inches. He sported a Mohawk and it looked cute, but she was none too pleased with him now to say so.

“I heard what you said, Erik.”

He looked at her with big eyes. “What?”

“I heard you cuss.”

“I didn’t cuss. I said that’s bull crap.”