Life In The Palace (17 page)

I looked down at my hands. He nodded for me to speak and not avoid.

“Tal and the superheroes, as you like to call them, rented an apartment to be some sort of student Chapel. Today they’re painting it to get it ready before the weekend. She asked if I’d go and help and I said only if I wasn’t doing anything with you.” I tried to avoid making eye contact, which was hard because he was standing right in front of me.

“I always want to do things with you. I like sitting on the balcony reading the newspaper, just chilling with you it makes it a ‘thing’ instead of time suckage. But if you’re busy I have stuff to do without you. You can just tell me you need to go do something.”

“But I don’t want to you to think I’m ditching you.” I hated the fact I sounded like a whiny little girl.

Seth chuckled, “My ego is still intact. Do you think you’ll be done by the evening? Shall we do dinner? I found a great recipe for Turkish stuffed vine leaves I’ve been wanting to try out. Maybe I’ll pop down to the farmers market before heading over to the Tams.”

I stepped closer and held him tight. In the pit of my stomach, there was a sinking feeling but I didn’t want to be such a codependent loser that I couldn’t spend a few hours apart from my boyfriend.

I threw on suitable painting clothes and Seth walked me down the street. The new Chapel/student hangout was only a block away from his place. I kissed him goodbye for a minute longer than necessary.

His smile was tender as he stroked my cheek in parting. “Have a good time. Give me a ring when you’re done.”

I watched him walk down the street. I don’t know what I was looking for; something more than just the sight of his well formed bottom. I shook myself out of my reverie and headed to the Chapel. Jov and Noy were waiting on the stoop. Jov waved as I rounded the corner.

“Tal said she wasn’t sure if you were coming.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know what my plans were for today. I think I was actually supposed to call her and let her know I was coming.”

Noy shrugged, “It’s okay, the more the merrier. There’s plenty to do.”

“You could have brought your boyfriend, if you’d wanted.” Jov was a bundle of energy.

I stopped for a second, “I never even thought about it. I wonder if he would have wanted to come. Maybe, I’ll ask him next time.”

Just then Tal pulled up with a car full of people and painting equipment. I wondered if they were all People.

“Hi, Chloe?” Tess looked more surprised to see me than I was to see her.

“Hey, Tess. They roped you in to paint, too?”

“Yeah,” she sounded very uncertain. “How do you know Cale and his friends?”

“Tal was my study partner for most of this summer. What about you?”

“Cale’s Mom went to high school with mine. They still talk once a week. He called me up and asked if I wanted to come help.”

I stepped down closer to her.

“Also,” she added quietly, “it’s a lot better than being set up long-distance by my mother. This way I did my duty and I can tell her I hung out with him.”

I looked at Cale. He wasn’t unattractive in a redheaded sort of way. I’d never thought of anyone dating him. I couldn’t really see him with Tess though.

“I’m glad it’s not my mother trying to set me up.”

Tess shrugged, “It could be worse. At least it’s not my grandmother. She can’t take no for an answer.”

Gal opened the door and we all followed him in. It was a nice place: wooden floors with large open windows, a small kitchen in back. It reminded me of Seth’s place. They had probably all been built around the same time. The walls were a nondescript beige. Seth’s walls were white. Together with the cream furniture the look was elegant. Here it just looked like someone had been cheap with the paint.

Jov cracked open a can of paint. Tal looked concerned.

“Yellow?” Cale asked.

“It’s the color of sunshine. It’s going to be excellent, I promise.” Waves of excitement radiated from Jov. It proved to be quite infectious. After twenty liters of yellow paint had been purchased, it was hardly the time to argue over color schemes. Gal assigned everyone an area to paint and we got to work.

I quite like painting. Once Jared had a summer job painting new condos, and when we got bored Spike and I went to help him. Painting is the type of work where you can get into a rhythm and kind of meditate your way along. Noy chatted to Tess a bit over by their shared wall, but I was happy enough just to paint my way quietly along my section of the internal staircase. At the edges by the actual stairs, I had to concentrate and use a real brush instead of the paint roller.

I was totally in the zone when Jov began to sing. It was a new tune to me, with only one line of words that just went around and around until it wound into your head. It must have been a well-known song to those that know because Tess laughed and started singing along. Soon they were all singing and painting, this time I wasn’t surprised when I felt the room move.

I was surprised when I looked around to see where they’d gone to. Besides that night at Tal’s house, I’d only ever seen them go to the fighting place, which was some sort of emptyish countryside.

Now they stood in a beautiful hall, like from a European castle. The sandstone walls were a series of arches, each containing an oil painting or a sculpture. I thought I could make out a suit of armor in the distance. The ceiling vaulted far above us and hung with banners or some sort of decoration. I couldn’t see a window, but the marble floor reflected the warm light of a summer’s afternoon. For a long space, I counted maybe fifteen arches to either side of us, it was remarkably cozy. If any of the arches had housed a window seat, I could have curled up there and spent the day reading a book.

Tess broke away from the group and started to wander down the hall looking at each artifact. I saw an exchange of glances between Jov, Tal, Noy and Gal. Gal nodded at Noy and she walked slowly behind Tess.

“My grandfather had this painting,” she turned and said to Noy.

Noy smiled and nodded. “What was he like, your grandfather?”

“He was religious. I mean my family is traditional, but he really Served. My mother is one of the younger children, and he was quite old by the time I was born. I remember this little wrinkly old man with big hairy ears sitting surrounded by a pile of texts of the Way. Every moment he had, he was immersed in the Way.”

“He sounds very special.”

Tess nodded dreamily. “He was. He kept a supply of candies in his pocket for the grandkids. That way if we came over when he was in the middle of Service he could acknowledge our presence without breaking his concentration. I liked the peppermint drops the best.”

Tess moved on to the next little enclave and I couldn’t catch what she was saying after that. I turned my attention back to the painting.

We made good progress before I decided to call it a day at around four. I was ready to sit down. I think Tess was too. She walked me out. Something was different about her.

“That was fun.” There seemed to be a spring in her step.

“Yeah, painting really does it for me.” It came out more sarcastic that I meant. She didn’t seem to notice.

With a slight blush, Tess said, “I didn’t mean the painting as much as the singing and everything.” It took a second for me to realize that she was probably being coy for my benefit in case, Other that I was, I didn’t know about the Palace. She had the same delighted secret pleasure glow as I felt when my mom calls to see how I’m doing, when what I’m doing is lying in Seth’s arms in the afternoon sunshine.

Should I burst her private bubble by telling her I’m in on the secret? I don’t want to make it less fun for her. She looks so happy. I’ll let sleeping dogs lie for now.

“Are you coming tomorrow?’ I asked instead.

“To the jam session? I was planning on it.” Tess squinted at me, “Tal was just your study partner and then you started hanging out with them?”

I nodded, “I’m Seth Wilks’ girlfriend, it’s pretty hard to find a group of friends that are mine and not just borrowed from him.”

She laughed. “I haven’t been formally introduced so I think I’m legitimately your friend first.”

“Nice.” My phone buzzed.

“Do you want to come and be introduced? Apparently, Seth is still at the Tams.”

Tess looked down at her old jeans and newly paint splattered shirt.

“You can change first. I’ll wait for you.”

“You don’t mind? My dorm is just over here.”

On the way out of the res, we walked past Jen sunning herself on a bench.

“Hey, where are you guys heading?”

“The Tams, do you want to come? We can prove Chloe has some friends she didn’t inherit from her boyfriend.”

Jen got up and fell into step alongside Tess. We passed a poster tapped to a lamppost.

“Ghetto Chapel opening jam session. Free beer and pizza,” Jen read. “Free dinner sounds good. I think I’m getting sick of the food in res already. Is it going to be a bunch of lame holy molies, though? The type that you speak to once and then receive unsolicited mailings from for the rest of your life?”

Tess and I glanced at each other and smirked. I motioned for her to respond.

“I don’t think so,” she said with caution. “They’re actually friends of Chloe’s and newly made acquaintances of mine.”

“Friends of Chloe’s?” Jen raised her eyebrows. “They must be cool. I hear Chloe had high standards.”

I nodded, “Only the chosen few make the grade. I was planning on going. I think they’re worried not many people will show.”

“Are you taking Seth?” Jen asked.

“Probably not. He works Mondays.”

Chapter 13

J
osh was cutting
class so they could leave in the morning, but like men facing root canal surgery, they weren’t rushing. Seth made us breakfast at my place and walked me to class.

“Don’t you need to leave soon?” I asked knowing the answer. It’s a six hour drive from Montreal to Boston.

“As long as we get there before sunset, Mom’ll be sweet. All I need to do is put on a clean shirt and I’m good to go.”

He paused for a second. I saw him making a mental evaluation of his wardrobe.

“Hanging on the back of your door,” I smirked. “One for each day of Chapel. I ironed a couple for Josh too. Just don’t crumple them in the trunk.”

Seth beamed.

“Should I be worried that my standing as a non-misogynist man of the new millennium is being damaged by my girlfriend doing my laundry?”

“You squeezed me orange juice for breakfast, I think we have an enlightened distribution of household tasks. And we don’t even live together!” I joked.

Seth raised his eyebrows. “We might be stretching the definition of ‘not living together.’ ”

“As long as we pay separate rent then we don’t live together.”

Seth ruffled my hair and declined to belabor the point. His smile radiated such warmth that I tried hard not to ruin the moment by sniffing. I failed. Seth handed me a tissue.

“Winter hasn’t even started, already you have a cold? Did I not keep you warm enough on the mountain last night?”

I tucked the tissue into my pocket and slipped my arms around him and under his jacket. My fingers were cold but now wasn’t the time to admit it.

“I don’t think it was that cold, but if it was, it was worth it. Last night was magical. I just got a bit of a cold. It’s probably the change in seasons. I’ll hang out at home with hot tea for a few nights.”

“You’re not going to the ‘Ghetto Chapel?’ ” He made jazz hands to emphasize “Ghetto Chapel.”

“You don’t know it until you’ve tried it. You’re just sore that Josh came back raving about it last night. And yes, I am going but only for meals. I said I’d help Tal serve. They’re expecting quite a crowd.”

“Don’t sneeze in the food.” His eyes were laughing, but he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.

I didn’t want to say goodbye. We were in the middle of campus, where, to be honest, anything short of removing our clothes wouldn’t have caused a passing glance; but I was conscious of the Seth Wilks code of behavior.

His fingers stroked the outline of my lips. “Next time, you’ll come. All the next times, or I won’t go.”

I nodded. He touched his lips to mine. “Call me when you get out of class?”

I nodded again. I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t want to cry because my boyfriend was leaving for four days, certainly not in public. He understood.

He kissed me again, “You’d better go to class. I’ll see you on Monday.”

He turned and started to walk down the drive.

I sniffed again and headed to the lecture hall. When I reached the building door, I looked down the drive and saw him standing there watching me walk all the way in.

Jen had promised to text me when it was time to come over. There were already long tables laid out when I arrived. I felt myself pass into a different zone. I concentrated on staying in the present. Now was not the time to start freaking out about seeing Angels. Jen waved me over to where she was sitting.

“I saved you a seat.”

I slipped onto the metal fold up chair, the type that was guaranteed to make you need chiropractic work after five minutes sitting in it. I wondered fleetingly if that was intentional.

“Thanks, that was quick. I thought you guys just finished the praying thing?”

“We did, they had the tables set up on the side and just moved them over.”

They’d bought the fancy type of disposable dishes so it actually looked nice like a real event and not just some cheapo student freebie thing. A few girls I didn’t recognize were helping Noy set out chairs.

“Do they need help?” I asked Jen.

“Don’t you dare move,” Jen ordered.

I made a show of freezing in my spot. “Why?” I whispered through unmoving lips.

“Ted Cown is over there, and if you move he might come over and sit with me.”

I still did not move my head. “Why would this be a disaster?”

“He’s been after me since my first year in camp,” Jen whispered. “I’m not about to change my mind. He might have grown two feet since then and lost the braces, but some things are never going to be.”

“Which one is he?”

“Over there standing by the far table with the black curly hair.”

I looked over as subtly as I could manage. The guy looked perfectly normal to me, but the code of girlhood demanded I defend Jen from any unwanted advances.

Jen looked me up and down. After much deliberation, I was wearing a ruffled white cotton shirt with a black straight skirt and the cardigan I got from Zara the week before with the pretty beadwork on the on the front. It goes without saying that both cardigan and aforementioned beadwork were black.

“Nice outfit.”

“Thanks, I didn’t know what to wear. In the end I called Tess and she walked me through it.”

Jen was wearing a red V-necked sweater that revealed a little more cleavage than I suspected Tess would have allowed, and black straight skirt that skimmed her knee.

“I like your earrings.” I reached out a finger to examine them more closely. They were a series of red and black beads strung together like small clusters of grapes.

“Thanks, I got them from a stall in the underground mall.”

“You are brave. I’m still too chicken to go down under the buildings. I have visions of myself wandering lost for days in some subterranean world.”

“I don’t think you could walk for days. It’s not that big. Although, I wonder if it counts as the world’s biggest mall if the whole downtown area is joined up by tunnels?”

“Actually it doesn’t even come close. I think the biggest in the world is in Dubai or somewhere like that.” A guy with spiky blond hair and black rimmed glasses interjected as he sat down opposite us. “I only know this because I come from Edmonton which used to have the world’s largest mall until 2004. I don’t actually spend my time researching malls.”

“Whyever not?” asked Jen flashing a smile.

“Because that would take time away from my research on the lifecycle of the wood louse.” The guy deadpanned. Then he cracked a smile, “I’m Sven Iver.” He reached his right hand across the table.

Jen shook it, “Jen Stef, and this is Chloe Diaz.”

“The services were not bad, eh?” He was clearly Canadian.

Jen nodded, “I was wondering how much they could do without instruments but the harmonizing was really uplifting.”

“For a second it actually made me believe in the whole ‘Palace’ thing,” Sven admitted.

“Yeah, weird,” Jen said with slight hesitation.

I looked from one to the other. “Your family doesn’t Serve, I take it Sven?” I asked.

“Good grief, no. My Mom’s into tantric meditation and my Dad’s mainly into golf. I just came along tonight for the free food.”

“Too bad you didn’t do like Chloe and skip the Services and come just for the meal,” Ethan quipped as he sat down opposite me.

For a second I was surprised to see him there. It was the first time I’d ever seen him without Josh or Dwayne by his side. Then I remembered Josh had mentioned he might come.

I shifted in my seat. I didn’t really want to own up to my “non-People” status.

“I’m actually not feeling that hot. I nearly didn’t come at all.” I said and conveniently sniffed.

Jen looked concerned, “You’re sick?”

“I’ve got a cold. I think it’s the change in seasons. I know everyone said winter comes quickly here, but I wasn’t expecting it quite so overnight.”

Sven chuckled, “You ain’t seen nothing yet, lady. Not that you can say it really gets cold in Montreal.”

“You can’t?” Everyone had been quite emphatic so far about the extreme weather conditions in Montreal.

“Everything is relative, where are you from?” Ethan asked Sven.

“Edmonton.”

Ethan shrugged like that explained everything. “But Chloe’s from Texas, it’s a whole different ballgame.”

Sven laughed, “Has anyone warned her?”

“Repeatedly,” I scowled.

Just as I was about to think of something to say, the room became very quiet. Gal stood to one side, with a silver goblet in his hand.

“We now sanctify the wine and we are sanctified. I’m going to pass around cups after I make the blessing. Please take one for yourself and then pass on the tray.”

Awkwardly, twenty-something folding chairs scraped against the floor as everyone stood. Jen looked expectant. Sven was politely interested. Ethan looked slightly bored.

Since we all seemed settled, I slipped back into my mind so I could see what was really happening. Gal said some words in a language I didn’t understand, and I felt the Palace move closer. Angels circled the tables and each of my companions took on a gentle glow. Jen was slightly blurry. I looked more carefully and realized that she was starting to develop the superimposed look I associated with Tal in the Palace. Is this what Tal calls a Palace face?

I remembered how Tal had explained it to me. As they develop a spiritual self beyond their physical identity, they take on a different form in the Palace. The Palace face represents who they really are. They become a soul that has a body, like a rider with a horse. She said that sometimes People can develop an “anti-Palace face” if they are called to Service but follow their Interloper. They become the personification of Disconnection. She had shuddered as she told me about it.

I scanned the room.
No one looked that bad so I guess everyone around here was at least neutral. Isn’t it a little bit invasive to go around seeing other people’s inner souls?

We each drank a tiny plastic cup of unreasonably sweet wine. Then they some other blessing and passed around the bread. Finally, the real food came. It was excellent. Mrs. Perr must have helped with the cooking. After a while the room began to swim and I didn’t think it was the angels dancing. I excused myself before they served the desert and crept home to bed.

I was in the stage of sickness that comes just before you start to actually get better. For two days my head had been pounding and dizzy. I hadn’t left my apartment. Simone had kept me stocked in soup and Jen had visited regularly to make sure I wasn’t going crazy from cabin fever. It sounded like I’d missed a good weekend. My wastepaper basket was overflowing with Kleenex, a carpet of old magazines surrounded the bed, and I lay strewn in the middle of chaos. Well enough to notice the squalor my sickness had created, but still too ill to move enough to resolve it.

The phone rang. “Are you feeling better?” The sound of his voice made me feel better.

“I’m surviving,” I sniffed, feeling sorry for myself. “Although, I think my sinuses are taking on a life of their own. I think the rest of my body has atrophied, and all the blood went to my head.”

“Shall I come home and nurse you back to health?”

Home. He said come home. Home to me. He was with his parents in Boston and he offered to come home
.

“Clo, did you hear me, should I come back?” He sounded worried.

“No,” I sighed, “Don’t come home. This is the big family shebang. It won’t make your mom like me any better if I steal her son away from her.”

He laughed, “My mom doesn’t dislike you. I don’t know why you always say that. She’d understand if I had to leave early.”

“Doesn’t dislike is not the same as like. She had this tone to her voice when she picked up the phone yesterday.” I was too tired for this conversation to end well.

“She’s from New England. That’s just what they sound like. Should I come back or not?” He said in a voice dripping with patience.

I imagined him walking in the door with more Kleenex, freshly squeezed orange juice and something yummy from the bakery. We could snuggle and watch movies. We’d be home together. I could feel my body relaxing into him.

“No, don’t come back early,” I heard myself telling him. “You should enjoy the family time.”

“Whatever you want,” he said lightly. A voice called him in the background. “Should I speak to you later?” He asked.

My head was beginning to swim. “That would be nice.” I couldn’t even bring myself to shut my eyes. The phone dropped from my hand. I’m not sure how long I lay there staring at the lamp beside my bed.