Life of a Fool (London Brothers Book 2) (10 page)

What in the hell was going on?  Jason left me at the beach
house all alone and went out?  And that confession?  It jolted me. 

I desperately wanted to tell Jason about the picture and
text that Antonio had sent, but I was embarrassed and sickened by the grotesque
man my husband had become.  It had my nerves frayed and my stomach in knots. 
That bastard had fucked those girls in our bed and threatened to let his men do
the same thing to me.  What kind of monster would do that?  And now Jason was
acting weird, like he needed to get away from me, and I didn’t know what to do
or what to think.

Yes, I’d always had feelings for my best friend.  But when
we were in college, our lives were headed in two totally different directions,
and it just wouldn’t have worked.  I’d met Antonio a few years after moving to
Italy, and we dated for a really long time before finally deciding to marry. 
In hindsight, maybe Antonio and I saw it as the next step in our relationship. 
We loved each other and were great friends, so it was easy.  But we never had
the closeness or unconditional respect and love that I’d always had with
Jason.  I knew that now…well, I guess I knew that almost two years ago, a full
year before my husband ever hit me for the first time.

I felt panicked.  I didn’t want to hurt Jason.  As a matter
of fact, I was struggling with my own feelings toward him and was terrified
they were only because of my current domestic upheaval.  I loved curling into
his arms every night.  He felt like my true home, but my head was a mess and I
was still a married woman, even if my estranged husband was an abuser and far
away and threatening me with more violence.  So, to clear my head and pass the
time, I took a long, hot shower then slipped into a thin pink silk nightgown
that hit just above my knees.  It was the easiest thing to maneuver into with
my injuries.  I walked to the kitchen and got a glass of wine before I climbed
into my bed and turned on a movie. 

It didn’t help. 

All I kept thinking about was Jason hooking up with some
tramp in the back of a club, or bringing some girl back here to the house just
to fuck her while I had to pretend it was okay.  It made me sick, like never
before.  My mind alternated between flashes of Antonio’s picture and one of
Jason pounding into some random girl.

It was almost 12:30 am by the time I’d persuaded myself to
turn off the television and try to get some sleep.  Hours later, in the middle
of the night, I felt a hand brush through my hair, causing me to sit straight
up and scream. 

“Hey!  It’s me.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to wake you.  I
was just checking to see if you were okay.”  His voice was low and husky,
either from drinking or the late hour.

“Jace?”

“Yeah, Legs.  It’s me.”

I couldn’t help myself.  I wrapped my good arm around him
and buried my face into his neck. With a sob, I said, “Thank God!  I’m sorry.”

He gripped his arms around my body.  “What for?  You didn’t
do anything.  I’m the one who took off earlier.  I just needed some space to
clear my head.  I shouldn’t have left, though.  I’m sorry.”

I could feel my body shaking from the emotions that had
consumed me from the time Jason had left me there alone. “I’m glad you’re back
and alone.  You are alone, aren’t you?”  I whispered.

“Yes, I’m alone.”  He chuckled.  “Did you really think I’d
bring someone back here?”

“I didn’t know, but I hoped not.”  I still had my face
buried into his neck, but he pushed me back slightly and lifted my chin with
his hand.

“Really?  And why is that?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do know. Now, tell me.”  His voice was stern, dominant. 
“Did you think I was going to parade some cheap piece of ass in here and
compromise our location?  Or did you think so little of me that you’d believe
me to be the kind of prick that would bring another woman here to fuck right
under your nose when I’d just told you I was having feelings for you again?” 
He was pissed.

“Jace.”  I felt confused and embarrassed.

“No. Tell. Me.”  Although his voice was commanding, it wasn’t
threatening.  I wasn’t afraid of him.  I was afraid of my feelings
for
him.

“I didn’t want you to bring anyone home, here to this place
or to your bed.  I don’t even want to know where you went because I won’t be
able to stop thinking about it…about you with someone else.”  Stupid fucking
tears started to fall.

He sighed, the tension suddenly gone from his body as he
dropped his hand from my chin, and the look on his face was replaced with shame
or embarrassment.  “Truthfully, I wanted to go out and just find someone to get
my mind off of what I’m feeling, but I couldn’t.”  One hand carefully curled
around my waist and started making slow circular movements against the silk
covering my body, making me suddenly aware of just how little I was wearing.  “All
I could think about was you curled up in my bed and the disappointed look I’d
see in your eyes if I’d done something so stupid.”

“But you’ve been gone for hours, Jace.”

“Yeah, I went to my office to work.  Ask Craig.  I called
him the minute I sat down at my desk.”

“I don’t need to call him.  I believe you, and you don’t
have any obligation to tell me where you went anyway.  I just…”

Both of Jason’s hands came up and cupped my face, his thumbs
gently rubbing the edges of my lips.  It took my brain a few seconds to notice
the intimate change.  If he noticed, he wasn’t letting on.  “You just, what?”
he asked, staring at my lips.

Oh hell, I was in trouble because I realized right then just
how much I
wanted
my best friend, and I let it slip out before I really
thought about it. “I just want you, Jace.  I can’t share you.”  I took a breath
and attempted to recover from my confession. “You’re my best friend, and I need
you.” 
And I can’t handle any more hell like what Antonio has put me
through. 

There was a long pause before Jason responded.  “Is that
all?  You don’t want to share your
friend
?” His eyes were both sad and
suspicious.

“No,” I said, unable to stop the truth. 

“No?  What else?”  He still held my face with both hands but
pulled us closer, his lips just a fraction from mine.  God, he was going to
make me say it. 

“I’m scared.”

“Why, baby?”

I closed my eyes and took another deep breath.  “Because I
want you.” 

Jason sucked in a huge breath before laying his forehead
against mine. “I want you too.  So much it hurts.”

I leaned closer and let my lips brush his as he said, “I’m not
sure I can stop myself if I start touching you.  Tell me what you want. 
Please.”  He placed a soft kiss on my lips.

“You.”

“Are you sure?  You’re married, Legs.”

“I know, but only on paper.  He gave up the right to be my
husband a year ago, the moment he hit me.  I’ve known for a long time that I
wanted more.”

Jason shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around the
moment.  “All I could ever think about was you, Lori Ann.  No one has ever
measured up to you, baby.”  He kissed my lips, this time pressing a little
harder and longer before pulling back and asking, “Can I stay in here tonight?”

I smiled and kissed his lips again.  Everything about us
felt right and there was no room for Antonio’s evil mind games.  It was time I
focused on the present and lived for me…for Jace.  “Yes, please stay with me.”

“Thank God,” he said before moving his body even closer as
he licked the seam of my lips.  The feeling sent chills down my back and I
opened for him, letting his tongue slip inside.  The kiss started slow, as if
we were testing each other, but quickly became a sensual devouring of each
other’s mouths.  I could feel my body heating up as Jason licked, nipped, and
sucked every bit of my mouth.  I didn’t know how long we’d been kissing, but at
one point Jason slowly laid me back and carefully pressed his body next to
mine, lying only halfway on my right side, his leg draped between mine.  I
could feel his erection and his subtle rocking against me as his hand rubbed
over the silk, lifting it slightly.

“Jace?” I whispered between kisses.

“Yeah?  You okay?” His worried face made me smile.

“Yes, but you still have your shoes on.  Why don’t you
change?  I want to feel your body closer to mine.  And your belt is sort of
poking me.”

He laughed, “Oh, sorry.  Here.”  He shifted and climbed up
to stand next to the bed, then stared into my eyes as he stripped—yes,
stripped—down to just his boxer briefs.  My God, how had I missed what a
glorious specimen my best friend had become, had always been?  He crawled back
into bed and took up his same spot, our bodies skin to skin, only a layer of
silk separating us.  “Better?”

“Hell, yes!”  I laughed.

“You are so beautiful.” His face was suddenly serious.  “I’ve
missed you so much.  Tell me this is okay.  Tell me I can have you.”

Oh my heart.
  It completely shattered, letting all of
Antonio’s cruel words fall away only to be put back together by the sweet man
in front of me.  “Yes, Jace.  It’s okay,” I said as I held his face in my right
hand.  “I’m yours, baby.  I’ve always been yours.”

Jason leaned close, but didn’t kiss me.  Instead, he said, “Say
it again.”

I smiled and repeated the words.  “I’m yours, Jace.  I want
this as much as you do.”  His eyes closed, so I gently rubbed his cheek and
lips with my thumb.  “Kiss me.  Touch me.  I need to feel loved.”

His eyes popped open.  “I won’t be able to stop, Lori Ann. 
You have to be sure.  Your whole body, your whole being will be mine, and only
mine.  I can’t walk away.  Is that something you want, something you can
handle?  I won’t share you with
him
or anyone else.”

His voice, the possessiveness, didn’t scare me.  It wasn’t
threatening like Antonio’s.  It was so full of raw emotion that I felt like
Jason was worshipping me with just his words.  “Yes, Jason.  I’m sure.” 
Easiest decision I’d ever made.

“Thank God,” Jace murmured just before slamming his mouth
onto mine.  His hand slowly and carefully slipped under the hem of my gown and
rested on my naked belly.  As our kiss deepened and our tongues danced, his
hand moved higher until he cupped one breast and gently began toying with my
hard nipple. 

“Yes…” I hissed.

“Feel good?”

“Mmm, yes,” I whispered between kisses.  “I need you.”

“I need you, too.  But I don’t want to hurt you.  Let’s go
slow, okay?”

“Okay.  Anything.  As long as I have you right here with me.”

“You have me.”  Jason barely got the words out before
dipping his head down and replacing his hand with his wet, warm mouth around my
nipple.  Everything felt so surreal as I watched my best friend worship my
body.  “My God, how I’ve wanted you, Lori Ann.  All. These. Years.”

I held the back of his head and ran my fingers through his
hair. “I love watching you touch me, love seeing you kiss my skin.  Never stop.” 

Jason lifted his face and looked into my eyes, groaning out,
“Never,” before grinning and leaning back down to cover my other breast with
his mouth, his eyes still on mine.

My eyes shut for just a second as the pleasure rushed
through me, but I forced them open so I could keep watching.  Jason’s body was
slowly rocking against my side as he sucked and gently bit my nipples, making
me desperate for all of him.  He must have known because in a slow, sensual
move, he lifted the silk the rest of the way over my head and tossed it aside.

I watched as he stared at my naked body and could see the
pain in his eyes when he took in all the bruises still healing.  Without a
word, he leaned down, licked then kissed every last bruise around my chest, ribs,
and stomach.  Tears filled my eyes at the sweet, gentle gesture.  He worked his
way back up to my neck and behind my ear before stopping at my lips.  He froze
and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why, baby?”  I wrapped my good hand around his neck,
keeping him close to me.

“I wasn’t there to help you, to save you.  He hurt you…
my
girl
…he hurt
my girl
, and the rage in me is indescribable.  I don’t
know how to stop the anger.  I want him dead, Legs.” 

I wanted to help Jason, wanted to console him, but
truthfully, I wanted Antonio dead too.  But all I could do was try to make a
life for myself back home in the States without him interfering. 

“Jason, just love me.  Help me forget.  We’re here now,
together…me naked beneath you.”  I smiled, trying to bring him back to me, away
from the ugly side of how we got here.  “I’m here, with you.  All for you.”

“Yes,” he hissed.  His hand traced a soft line from my
shoulder, down the side of my body, and to my white lace panties.  I’d imagined
my best friend doing exactly the same thing at different times in my life, but
now that we were here in each other’s arms, it was more magnificent than
anything my brain tried to come up with. 

As Jason kissed down the side of my neck, his fingers lifted
the waistband of my panties and slowly pulled them over my hips.  The
anticipation of being completely naked in front of Jason for the first time was
incredibly erotic, to the point that I moaned as he finished removing the tiny
lace covering.  Jason leaned back slightly and stared at my body.  He’d never
seen me like this, but the lust in his eyes told me he was happy. 

“More beautiful than in my dreams.” 

Before I could respond, his mouth crashed onto mine, his
hand dipped into my folds, and both his tongue and his hand started slow tandem
circles of my mouth and folds.  “Jace…”  I managed to get out. 

“Mine,” he growled.  “You are mine now.  Forever.” 

“Yes.”

It was unbelievable.