Life Over Love (16 page)

                
Brianna looked at him and all she saw was a stranger that happened to have the same color eyes and hair as her son, other than that she realized that she had never even known this man who was standing before her. She wasn’t interested in the least in getting to know him now either. She hoped that for the kids’ sake they could have some sort of cordial relationship, and she hoped he would find a decent woman to share his life with and help him make better choices.

                 
Mike felt like she had changed in the time he’d been gone, as if the last time he’d seen her she’d been a girl, but now she was a woman, not physically just emotionally. He hope that he could win over this woman’s heart as he’d once been able to the girl’s.

               
“Brianna, I’ve been seeking counseling, and I feel pretty positive that I can be there for you this time Bri, if you’d just give me another shot. I know you felt something, the last time I touched you, Bri, even though we were just flirting.”

                
She wanted to tell him no absolutely not, but Chelsea ran around the corner and hopped up in her daddy’s arms whom she loved so much. “We missed you daddy, didn’t we momma?” She cried and instead of arguing, she nodded, and Mike pulled her in for what looked like a warm embrace. “Well, I gotta go girls, my brother’s in the car, I don’t want to keep him waiting.” He kissed Chelsea then Brianna’s cheek. “Can I see you again Brianna, just the two of us sometime so that we can talk?”  He looked at her waiting for her response, instead of making any promises, she said “How about you come to Chelsea’s party next Saturday, bring your family as well. I’ll call you with details.” He looked at her and asked “What about us Bri?” She was trying not to lose her temper, she didn’t want argue with him in her apartment trying either, she decided to just go along with him if anything to get him to go home.

               
“I’ll think about it Mike, but I don’t want to confuse the kids, or change anything in our lives.”  He felt hopeful hearing that she would at least think about it. “That’s what I’m talking about Bri, before I know it I’m going to wake up one day and realize they are grown. You left me half a year ago Bri! I know I don’t have a right ask after the way I behaved, but I still have to try. You gotta know that I’d give up anything to wash away the past make in clean, but I can’t, all I’ve got is the hope that tomorrow will get better, and next day after that, Bri. I’m sorry Bri, you have no idea how sorry.”

                
She did feel bad for him, she would die if she were separated from her children, so she truly did feel for him then. Brianna stepped onto her porch to wave to Mike’s brother after she had walked Mike to the door. “I’ll think about it.” He left saying “That’s all I can ask.” He left and Brianna noticed something hanging beneath her kitchen window sill when she started to walk back into the house.

                      
Her pink dress and sweater were hanging there, with the dry cleaning tags still intact. She took it down and looked around hoping to see Ryker’s truck, but he was nowhere in sight. She was a little disturbed that he might have seen Mike with her and misconstrued the situation. Even though they weren’t together, she still didn’t want him to think she was going back to Mike. She hoped again that he hadn’t seen something and taken it the wrong way.

R
yker had gone to her apartment hoping to make amends. The way he saw it he was going to be too miserable with her being completely removed from his life, so he’d rather be just a little miserable with her close at hand. He was going to see if she was still willing to be friends. He wanted whatever she was willing to give.

              
When he got there he noticed Mike’s truck parked outside her door, with Mike’s brother behind the wheel. But he’d thought nothing of it and walked up to the door. He would’ve knocked, but when he saw them in the archway, that was all he’d needed wake him up, and make him realize that it was really over, who was he fooling? It had never even begun. He’d seen Mike consoling her, he saw the kiss, ok so it wasn’t much more than a peck on the cheek, but she hadn’t made a move to push him away, or stop him. 

               
He was so hurt to see her standing there,
not
doing anything to stop Mike. Thinking of the way she’d pushed him away, several times at that! It would’ve been too much for any man, he left the dress. He strode past Mike’s truck and hopped into his own, when he’d gotten home he slammed the door so hard that it nearly shattered the window, and it sound like a small explosion. HE slammed into the house and punched a hole in the wall, something he hadn’t done since he was a hormonal teenager.

               
He was furious at the whole situation. He knew without a doubt that Brianna was in love with him. He knew it, there was no faking what he’d seen when they were together. He knew that the only thing that kept her from being his was her messed up ideas about being involved with someone. So knowing all of those things, he could not fathom why she was letting Mike put anything of his on any part of her body. Why would she give that guy any reason to think that he would ever be welcome to touch her ever again? Unless she was actually getting back with him, giving him another chance, out of loyalty or something.

                  
Ryker knew guys like that and was disappointed in her for getting mixed up in that again. He was tired of the questions circling his brain, he decided to put it to rest. He figured she could handle herself and went out to forget the girl who broke his heart.

                  
The week flew by and by the time that Thursday rolled around Brianna was done trying to keep the party’s venue a surprise. One person can only take so much “Where’s my party gonna be momma, where’s my party at mommy, momma where? Mommyuh , puh lease where’s it gonna be?”  She finally relented and spilled the beans. “Remember the gift certificates that officer Danner gave us for Christmas to go to Joe’s Bouncy House?” She almost got knocked down by a six year old. “Yay!”  Brianna was loving the lovin’, but regretted immediately that she reminded her little one about Ryker. “Can I invite him momma? It’s only politest thing to do since he gave us the stuff, can he be invited?”  Brianna could hardly say no to that logic and acquiesced. “I’ll ask him.”

                     
She went on her lunch to Ryker’s house to invite him to Chelsea’s party. She didn’t have to knock because the door opened as soon as she stepped up to it. A tall blonde beautiful woman bumped into her while in a hurry to leave, she said “Oh sorry honey” taking a backward step and calling over her shoulder “Ryker! You have company, I’ll call you. Excuse me hun.”  She heard Ryker yell, “Come on in, I’m in the back.” She felt the need to remind herself that she had no claims on him, and that’s the way she absolutely wanted it.

                     
She went to his room and when she saw him she greeted him with a casual “Hey Ryker.” She’d pasted the sincerest smile on her face that she could muster. He was a little surprised to see her, but hey he had nothing to hide, no reason to either. He continued putting his boots on, and she was ticked that she’d caught herself staring at his flexing chest muscles. “What’s up?” He asked “You’re gonna have to hurry, cause I’m running late!” He jumped up and started buttoning up his uniform shirt.

                 
“Uh hem well, Chelsea wanted me to invite you to her party since we’re actually using the gift certificates you gave us, so yeah it’s Saturday.” He grabbed his keys and ushered her towards the door. “Sorry I’m workin.’ Besides won’t Mike be there? Wouldn’t
that
be kind of hard to explain to the old ex-husband anyways?”  He opened the door and motioned her like a traffic cop to go through the door. She walked out saying “He doesn’t have a say in who I choose to associate with Ryker, I’m throwing the party not him!” They walked briskly towards the cars. “Oh well, I don’t want to get between whatever the two of you got going on, was that all, or?” She was hurt by his aloof treatment of her. “No I wanted to thank you for bringing my dress too!”  He had been leaning against the open squad car’s door. He winked and jumped in “Hey really, no thanks needed, didn’t want it hangin’ around the house you know, don’t want to cramp my style.” He wiggled his eye brows, and leaned out the window. “Thanks for stopping by though tell those babies I said hey for me.”

               
He spun out of the drive way and patted himself on the back for the best I don’t give a crap about you performance.

She’d hated being talk to that way by him. He had always spoken to her with tenderness even when he was frustrated. Fine she thought it was only a matter of time anyway, this sure does make things easier. Who wants to be around a
jerk like that? “Not me!” She said aloud as she drove back to work.

19

M
ike came to pick up the kids on Friday to give Brianna a chance to set up the party in peace. He also made it clear that he wasn’t going to waste any time where the two of them were concerned. When he’d kissed her she didn’t kiss him back, a fact which he ignored, and she’d somehow managed to make him think that she’d agreed to have dinner with him Sunday night. She was just not interested in him at all anymore and she wished he’d get the point.

She was thinking that if she just ignored him, he wo
uld grow tired, see she wasn’t interested and move on. He had it in his mind that since he wasn’t drinking, and he wasn’t on drugs, and so much time had passed, that she would want to try to work it out, if anything for the sake of the family.

The Brianna that he knew wanted the whole package, the perfect Christmas card. What he failed to realize was that when she thought of the perfect Christmas card now all she pictured was herself, daughter
, and son. That was it, perfect just the way they were together, living.

Brianna put everything she needed to decorate for the party, in the back of the car. She wanted to make sure that she didn’t feel rushed in the morning. Everything was ready for the next day’s events, she just needed to get some rest so she turned in early. Brianna woke at midnight in a cold sweat,
with a terrible pain in her chest. She felt like she could get enough oxygen in her lungs. Brianna felt terrified and seriously considered calling Ryker, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Brianna drank some hot cocoa and went back to bed hoping to be able to get some sleep. She still couldn’t erase the uneasy feeling she’d had, and she couldn’t help wishing that Ryker still cared.

              She felt and looked like pooh in the morning. After showering and some makeup she felt like a human being again. She decorated the party room at the bouncy house from top to bottom in various shades of purple, by the time she’d finished it looked like it had been dowsed in grape flavored children’s cold medicine.  She even wore a spring time violet cotton dress that stopped at the knee, and buttoned all the way down. 

Brianna was aching all over, and halfway wishing that the party were already a thing of the past, but it was all worth it though when Chelsea ran through
squealing with delight. “Oh mommma, mommma, momma, mommy! I love my party!”  The cutest thing was when Dominique came in with her twins the three little girls squealed in unison and acted as if it had been years and not days since they had last seen each other. Brianna visited the other parents and guests, Mike stayed by her side the entire night.

He was constantly whispering in her ear, claiming he it was just too
noisy in the room to do otherwise. He brushed up against every chance he got, and in her mind he was way out of line. Dominique noticed to and judging by the circles under her eye’s and her poor bottom lip, which she had bitten until it, her friend couldn’t handle much more.

Dominique didn’t understand why Brianna didn’t put the guy in his place, but then she guessed that maybe she didn’t want to cause a scene at her
daughter’s party. She was right about that And Brianna was so relieved when the whole ordeal was over. Her parent had left early not being able to stomach any more, but they both made sure to tell her they were proud of her, and loved her before they were gone. Brianna guessed you never stopped needing a hug from your parents every once in a while, no matter how old you got.

When all the guests had left and Brianna felt like it was a good time, she asked Mike to sit down with her at the book. She intended on telling him exactly how she felt so that he didn’t get carried away.
Chelsea jumped and continued to play, and Brody slept on her jacket in the booth behind hers.

“Mike please sit down, listen I’ve really been thinking about what you’ve said, and I just can’t go down that road again, I’m sorry. Mike
my hearts just not in it.” She held her breath waiting to see what he’d say next. “He said what road Brianna? I’m telling you things are different, I’m not that guy, anymore!” He looked around the room and went on talking. “I am their father though, and no matter what went on in the past I love you all, still.” She was too tired to think about what he could have meant by that, because it sounded as if he were forgiving her of something, she thought that was really weird, but then again she needed sleep. “Look let’s just have dinner tomorrow night, you look like you need some rest, I can take Brody and Chelsea another night, what do you say see you tomorrow night?”  He held her hand across the table and she said “ok Mike whatever you say.” She was too exhausted to bicker she just wanted her bed.