Life Shift (6 page)

“You look beautiful,” said Damien when she came down the stairs. She immediately felt guilty.
 

“I’ve just put some make up on that’s all,” she said, “I thought I was looking a bit pale.”
 

“Well we had a late night so I’m not surprised,” said Damien, giving her a hug before going to the kitchen to make their breakfast.

They ate in silence, as usual. Christine would normally use this time to plan the day ahead while Damien watched Sky Sports News. However, today her thoughts were racing. What would happen at lunch? What would Matt say? And what about the lecture last night? What had that meant?

In the pub after the lecture she had told Damien where she had been. What’s the harm in that, she had thought. She didn’t have to tell him about all the strange things that had been happening after all. And she was getting tired of all the secrets she was keeping from him. It was exhausting. She had always been able to tell Damien everything. And now something new that she didn’t understand had come into their lives and changed everything.
 

So she had told him about almost walking past the church, seeing the notice on the door and going in to listen.

“You’ve never been into religion before,” he remarked, finishing his glass of wine and starting to pour them another. She had been waiting for him to top up their glasses for some time.

“Yes I have. I did it at A level,” she reminded him. “And anyway it was mostly physics not religion.”

“Well I was going to say … that’s even more surprising. I’ve never known you to be interested in that either.”

“Well I can develop new interests you know,” she said sharply. He looked at her and raised one eyebrow. “I never said you couldn’t,” he said, “I’m just saying it's different that's all.”

“I know, sorry, it’s just I really enjoyed it and found it interesting and I don’t want you pouring cold water on it.”

He looked slightly hurt. “I haven’t said anything negative at all. All I’ve said is that you haven’t been interested in it before. But to be honest I’m just glad to talk to you about something other than work.”

Now it was her turn to look hurt. “Sorry Damien if my work bores you, it happens to be important to me.” She put her glass down and looked around the pub, trying to hold back the tears.
 

She felt a hand on her arm. She looked at him. “I’m not having a go Chris, honestly. I’m proud of you and the work you do. I just don’t like the pressure they put you under, that's all.
 

She felt some of the tension in her shoulders ease. She was probably being too sensitive. She smiled at him but at the same time moved her arm away from his and sat back in her chair. She had another sip of wine.

“Sorry,” she said, “I’m just tired I think. So anyway what do you think of the multiple universes idea?”

“It’s interesting,” he said, leaning back. “I’ve read some stuff on it before.”
 

“It makes you think doesn’t it,” she said. “What other universes are out there, what other lives are being lived?”

“Yes I suppose. We could all be living very different lives. We might never have met, or we might have had ten children.” He saw her expression change. “Sorry. That was bad of me. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said, and finished her glass of wine. “Are we having another bottle?”

“Not with work tomorrow,” he said, “Come on Chris you agreed, definitely no more than one bottle on a school night.”

“Okay, okay, you’re right,” she said. “Come on then, let’s go. I’m really exhausted.”

They left the pub and walked up the road to the taxi rank. There was no queue and so in fifteen minutes they were home. Damien wanted to watch some TV so Christine kissed him goodnight and went up to bed, desperate to get under the covers and fall asleep.

In the dark though she found she was restless. She kept replaying her conversation with Dr Priestley.
 
Why did he want to see her? And then unbidden came the memory of the earlier phone conversation with Matt. He has a nice voice, she suddenly thought to herself, steady and calming.
 
Then she thought of another universe where she might have ten children and again felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. What was wrong with her? She hadn’t even wanted ten children in this universe. No, she said to herself, not ten, but she had wanted one. At least one. And so far that had not happened.

And then finally she thought of the little girl she had now met twice, the little girl who called her Mum and who had put her hand so trustingly in her own. What if… what if...? What are you thinking, she said to herself sharply, don’t even go there.

But she couldn’t help herself. As the murmur of Damien's documentary drifted up the stairs an image of Matt and a child she didn’t know positioned itself firmly in her mind and comforted her as she dropped off to sleep.

And now here she was, eating her breakfast in silence, still quietly obsessing over thoughts of them both and what Matt would say today at lunch.

Damien's voice penetrated her thoughts. “Are you listening to me?”
 

“No I was thinking about work,” she said, a half truth. She was getting used to them now. “What did you say?”

“I just asked if you want cheese in your rolls. I’ve not made them yet.”

“Cheese rolls will be fine, thanks,” she said, “Do you want me to do them?”

“No, finish your coffee,” he said, getting up. “It will just take a sec.”

By seven she was ready to leave for work. Damien was dropping her off before going to see his first client of the day. It was cold in the car and they spent five minutes shivering as they waited for the windscreen to clear.

“Busy day today?” he asked, as he started to manoeuvre the car out of the driveway.

“Yes a lot on,” she said, “Will be a late one tonight I think.”

He didn’t say anything. The traffic was quiet and they arrived at the office in under ten minutes. She leant over to kiss him before getting out of the car. But just as she was about to pull away from him he pulled her in tight
 
and kissed her again, more firmly.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” she said, looking at him. “You know I do right?”

“I know. It’s just… I don’t know… you seem so preoccupied these days.”

She put her arms round his neck and hugged him hard.

“Sorry. I know. I’m really sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

He leant back and looked at her. “Like what? Work? Or something else?”

“It’s just work and stress and stuff,” she replied. “Nothing to worry about. I probably just need a holiday.”

“That’s true,” he said. “Try and get some time off soon.”

“Yes I will,” she said, “Don’t worry.”

It seemed to reassure him. They let each other go and she got out of the car. She looked back at him and smiled. She really did love him she told herself. She just didn’t want him to worry.

But as she walked up the path to the office it was a certain lunchtime appointment that she was thinking about. She felt nervous, anxious
 
and excited. It’s just because he might be able to help she thought. But deep down she knew that wasn’t the case. He had looked at her. Really looked at her. And she had dreamt of a wedding. Their wedding. And she had been with him in a house that at one level she did not recognise and at another level was already beginning to feel familiar. And could they… did they… in some other life, have a daughter?

Electrons that danced in multiple universes, lives that could be lived in an infinite number of ways. Could he explain it all to her? Did he have the answers to explain what she was seeing and what it all meant?

She had walked into the office before she realised she hadn’t turned around to give Damien her usual wave. Quickly she spun around hoping to catch him. But when she looked back he was nowhere to be seen.
 

 
CHAPTER NINE

Ten minutes to twelve she left her office and caught the lift down to the foyer. Her heart hammered away as she walked out of the building and made her way to the car park. It was still a crisp icy day. She pulled her jacket around her tighter and shivered. She crossed the road carefully and entered the car park. She was trying not to think about what lay ahead, what might be said, what might happen. She looked around. She realised she didn’t know what car Matt drove. Then she saw a figure, a couple of feet away, just getting out of a car. It was Matt. He waved to her and she waved back and then walked towards him.

He was wearing a navy blue jacket and black woollen hat. He looked cold. When she reached him she stood awkwardly before him. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hello Chris. Come on. Get in the car. I’ve had the heaters warming.”

He opened the door for her and she got in. It was a blue Ford Mondeo. Something caught her eye in the backseat. She looked around and saw a football. She turned back and saw him looking at her.

“My son’s,” he said.

“Oh right,” she replied, not sure what else to say.

He started the car and drove out of the car park onto the main road. For awhile they drove in silence. Then he said,
 

“How has work been today?”

“Fine,” she said, “Busy. You know what it’s like.”

“Yes,” he agreed. He shot her a quick look, “You look beautiful today. I like that outfit on you.”

She coloured and looked out the side window.
 

“Thank you,” she said.

They carried on driving. She didn’t recognise where they were heading, the winding lanes were unfamiliar to her. Then suddenly they were pulling into a car park. The pub - the Forest Arms – looked rather dilapidated. The car park was empty.

“Should be quiet in here,” he said, getting out of the car and coming around to open her door.

They entered the pub. He found them a corner seat, out of view of anyone coming in. But she needn’t have worried. Apart from the staff and two men propped at the bar the pub was empty and remained so while they were there.

“What are you having to eat?” he asked her.

She couldn’t eat, not now, not with him.

“Nothing,” she said, “I’ll just have a glass of diet coke. Thanks.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes, positive. You grab some food though.”

“No I’m okay. I’ll have a coke the same as you.”
 

He went to the bar and after a couple of minutes was back with their drinks. He sat on the seat adjacent to her. Their legs were close but not touching but even this proximity made her feel hot and uncomfortable. She picked up her drink and took a sip. He did the same.
 

For a moment there was silence and then she gathered her courage.

“So what’s happening to me? What do you know?”

He looked at her carefully. Then replied, “Why don’t you tell me first what you’ve experienced.”

She hesitated. Not because she didn’t want to speak. No it wasn't that. It was just that she was aware she hadn’t even told Damien about this. She hadn’t wanted him to worry or to think she was insane. But here with Matt – why did she feel so ready to talk, so desperate to talk and to be heard? She looked into his light blue eyes and saw that look again - his intense hungry way of staring at her that seemed to reach something deep within her, something that she hadn’t even known existed.

And so she began to talk. She told him everything that had happened from the moment she had first opened her front door and saw the different carpet and the different staircase. She felt embarrassed when she spoke of the incident in the house, when she had met him, saw again the little girl and remembered a wedding that had never been. She didn’t talk about her feelings at the time and did not talk about the thoughts she had had of him since it had all started to happen. She did not tell him how difficult she was finding to get him out of her head. And she did not mention Damien.

He simply listened throughout, nodding sometimes, but never interrupting. But when she described the wedding scene she saw the faintest of smiles on his face, as if he too was remembering something.

She then told him about the lecture in the church and how it had made her feel. What it had made her think. She even told him about the voices in her head when she was young. She realised when she was speaking that he was the first person she had ever told that to.

“You must think I’m mad,” she said when she had finished. “I do. I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“I don’t think you’re mad at all.” He reached over and took her hand. A spark leapt in her. She half wanted to pull her hand away. But she didn’t. She let it stay there.

“I can explain everything,” he said, “But you are going to find it hard to believe.”

“After what’s happened I’m not sure I’ll find anything hard to believe anymore,” she said quietly.

“Okay then.” He took a deep breath. Suddenly he was the one who looked nervous.

“On the one hand we hardly know each other. We’ve worked in the same place for five years but only had a few conversations.”
 

She nodded.

“But in another place we have known each other for years and years. We got married when we were young. We met when we were in school. The point is – there is another world where we’re together. You heard Dr Priestley I know – the stuff he was saying about the electrons existing in multiple places. We do too Chris – we exist here and there, and I suspect in other universes too.”

She sat back, stunned. At one level he was only saying what she had already started to suspect ever since the lecture in the church. But on another level she simply could not believe what he was saying - parallel worlds, multiple versions of her and him, it was the stuff of fantasy. It could not be true.

Finally she asked, “Dr Priestley. What do you know of him? Is he some sort of crank? He sounded almost evangelical at times last night.”

“He's a good friend of mine now and he’s a well respected scientist.
 
He’s helped me understand what’s going on, that I’m somehow living in both this world and the other world.”