Life Support: Escape to the Country (16 page)

If she wasn’t mistaken, he was lugging around a secret. Either that, or he was the most moody man she’d ever met.

*

Emma sat on the fence and watched in silence as Tom and another man unlatched the back of the float and let the ramp down. Inside were two brown horses. Emma didn’t know much about horses, but these ones didn’t look like they’d ever seen a racetrack – at least not Flemington or Randwick. They were hairy and dirty and nowhere near as big as she had expected.

Tom stood at the end of the ramp while the other man went through a door at the front of the float. Unhooking the chain, Tom gave the all clear and the man inside made clicking sounds with his tongue. The first horse clomped backward down the ramp. The man handed Tom the rope attached to the horse’s halter and Tom led the horse around in a wide circle. The horse sniffed the air and whinnied. The other horse stomped and snorted in return. Tom took the first horse into the stables and a few minutes later returned and repeated the unloading process.

Emma jumped off the fence when Tom led the horse over to her. It had brown eyes which stared longingly at the green grass in the paddock.

“Meet Maiden’s Kiss. He came second in the Melbourne Cup a few years ago. Belongs to a doctor in Geelong.”

“The other one looks like he has some spark left in him but this one looks so sad.” Emma stretched her fingers toward the horse and he blew a soft snort through his nostrils. Emma laughed and jerked her hand back. “What’s he doing?”

“He’s being curious. Hold your hand out again, palm up.”

Emma laughed again as the horse’s whiskers tickled her hand while he snorted and sniffed. He gently nuzzled her hair and she stayed as still as she could. “He’s trying to kiss me.”

Tom patted his neck. “I think he likes you.” The horse, bored with Emma, dropped its head and pulled at a blade of grass.

“He doesn’t look like a racehorse.”

“That’s because the ones you see on television are race-ready. These horses have been living in a dusty paddock on the outskirts of Melbourne since they were retired.”

“What do you plan to do with them?”

“I’ve got a few ideas, but I’ll have to run them past you first.”

“Why me? I don’t know the first thing about horses.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re the owner of Lexton Downs, so you have a say in the things we run here.”

“I thought the only plan was to provide agistment for retired racehorses and run accommodation packages for people and their horses.”

“That’s part of it.” He took a deep breath. “That’s what I want to talk to you about. I’ve been wondering how we could combine the ex-racehorses with some sort of rehabilitation program.”

Emma frowned. “Like what?”

“Horses are often used for therapy. It’s called equine assisted therapy. Everything from kids with disabilities to prisoners to recovering drug and alcohol addicts.”

Emma chewed her lip. “I’m not sure I want prisoners tramping around Lexton Downs, but I like the idea of doing something for kids.”

“Are you happy for me to make some enquiries?”

“Go for it.”

“Let me put this fella away and we can talk about it some more.”

Emma unlatched the gate and followed Tom to the stables. The other man finished hosing out the float and with a wave to Tom drove off.

“Will we be able to ride these horses?” Emma ran her hand down the horse’s white blaze.

“No, but I’m hoping to get a couple of horses for us to ride. And I still need to find a pony for Rubes.”

“I take it Buckley still isn’t working out?”

“No. Since he threw Ruby off and she ended up in hospital, I haven’t let her back on him. To be honest, I never saw it coming. The owners assured me he was sound, but every time I’ve saddled him up since, he pigroots.”

Emma frowned. “He what?”

“Pigroots. Bucks.”

“That’s not safe.”

“I’ve got two new ponies arriving next week for another trial.  We should go for a ride one weekend.”

“Really? I’ve never ridden before.”

“Are you willing to learn?”

“I’d love to. Horses are magnificent animals.”

“You’re not scared of them?”

“Should I be?”

“Definitely not.”

Emma followed Tom into the stables and watched him fill hay nets and water buckets and ensure the horses were settled in their new lodgings. When he was finished, he stood beside her at the half door and they watched Maiden’s Kiss pull at the hay and chew slowly.

Tom let out a long breath. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Did I say something to upset you?”

“No.”

“
Something
upset you though. Is it something to do with Lexton Downs? Or with Ruby? Or your mum?”

“Ruby’s fine.”

“Is something wrong with your mum?”

He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. His face sagged. “Mum’s cancer’s back.”

She laid her hand on his arm. “How bad?”

“Very bad. About six months ago she developed a cough. Her GP said it was only a cold and gave her antibiotics but two days later she couldn’t breathe so I took her into emergency. They ran tests and told me she had pneumonia. They admitted her to run more tests and I remember sitting in the waiting room thumbing through old magazines and wondering how much longer I was going to have to wait when they dropped the bomb. The cancer had returned in the other breast. Afterward Mum told me she’d guessed it had come back, but she didn’t want to tell me. Or anyone.” He scratched his jaw. “The first doctor said it was nothing and then they were telling me she’s riddled.”

Emma shook her head sadly. Poor Judy.

“I remember going into her hospital room and I hardly recognized her. Her skin was wrinkled and pale as if someone had crumpled a piece of paper and tried to re-form it into the shape of a human. I’d seen her sick before, but nothing prepared me for that.”

“What treatment is she having?”

“None.”

“None?”

“After the last time – the radiation, the chemo, the mastectomy – she didn’t want to go through it all again. Now it’s too late.”

“Surely not. They must be able to do something.”

“It’s spread too far. Bone mets. Black spots everywhere on the x-ray. Liver. Kidney. Lungs.”

“Tom. I’m so sorry.” If the cancer had metastasized and spread to Judy’s bones, that didn’t bode well for a good prognosis. “How long have they given her?” Oncologists didn’t like to give families false hopes and offer timelines but judging by the look on Tom’s face, his mum didn’t have much time left.

“Months. Maybe only weeks.” Tears glistened and his sigh came out as a strangled sob. “And my sister doesn’t even know.”

“Why didn’t your mum say something sooner?”

“In our family we like to keep our secrets.”

On her first Saturday off work in weeks, Emma headed out to Lexton Downs early, hoping to go horse riding. She noticed how much the landscape had changed in a few short weeks. The topic of conversation on every street corner and in every store was that a blistering hot summer stretched ahead of them. The local fire authority warned it would be a bad year for bush fires. Today though the weather was co-operating perfectly. Blue sky stretched across the horizon like a canvas on a frame, decorated with fluffy white clouds. A gentle southerly breeze was taking the sting from the hot sun. If Tom agreed, it would be a perfect day to ride down to the river.

When she arrived and knocked on Tom’s door, there was no answer. Disappointment snagged her and she chewed at her bottom lip. Maybe she should have called him to let him know she was coming. She never considered he might have made other plans for the weekend. She debated heading over to Bluestone Cottage to see if he was there with his mum, but didn’t want to disturb Judy. Once or twice Emma had seen Judy sitting outside enjoying the sun, but more often than not, the curtains were drawn and there was no sign of her. Tom said she was doing okay, just tired. Emma didn’t feel she knew Judy well enough to drop in and ask personal questions about her health, so she took Tom’s word for it and prayed for a miracle. There was little else she could do.

She was about to go home when she spotted Tom on a large chestnut she’d never seen before. The horse was lathered in sweat and breathing heavily as Tom rode it in lazy figure eights around the paddock. Perspiration molded the back of Tom’s blue cotton shirt to his body. His shirtsleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing arms as tanned as his face. Black riding pants fitted snugly to his thighs and backside and left nothing to her imagination. Her stomach flipped at the sight of him and warmth spread down her legs. It was impossible to see his eyes beneath the brim of his hat, but from the way he pulled his lips together now and then and spoke softly to the horse, he was deep in concentration. He was an excellent rider, moving together as one with the horse, like a gymnast, all purpose and fluidity and grace. It was a joy to watch. Neither horse nor man noticed her and for nearly ten minutes she leaned against the fence, watching as they moved from walk to trot to canter and back again to a walk.

While she waited for Tom to look up and notice her, she sifted through her rambling thoughts. Thoughts that constantly tumbled and tossed. Thoughts that had kept her awake at night. Their friendship had flourished over the past month, but for some unknown reason, Tom was holding back from her, reluctant to take their relationship to the next level. They went out regularly, mostly to dinner at the pub in town after work, or to the movies. Occasionally they stayed in, Tom cooked, and they snuggled on the couch watching DVDs at his place. Those were her favorite nights. But as the days merged into weeks, a gnawing feeling had been growing in her stomach. Something wasn’t right.

She’d given him more than enough opportunities, but it was like they were stuck in first gear. And it wasn’t for lack of trying on her side. If Tom wasn’t reading her signals, he was blind. Even though it was only a few short months since Lleyton’s death, she was ready to move on. More than anything, she wanted their romance to bloom, but if Tom didn’t, she needed to decide whether she was wasting time waiting for him. She had no idea what his problem was. If his passionate kisses were any indication, he was definitely attracted to her as much as she was to him, but he never wanted to take things further and, disappointingly, he never asked her to stay the night. Until he told her why he refused to sleep with her, there was nothing she could do except wait. Or walk away. And that wasn’t an option. She already liked him. A lot.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the dogs appeared, almost knocking her over as they leaped up to greet her. Unlike Tom, the dogs didn’t mind expressing how they felt about her. She laughed as she shoved them both aside. “Down Deeks. Down DiNozzo.” Tongues lolling, they eventually settled while she scratched behind their ears. Deeks flopped to the ground and rolled over, exposing himself for a rub. Uncaring that her new jeans were about to be covered in dust and dog slobber, Emma knelt and gave his belly a good scrub.

“What brings you out here so early and looking so gorgeous?”

Emma jumped up and brushed the dirt from her hands. Tom and the horse were silhouetted against the morning sun on the other side of the post and rail fence. Her blood pounded in her ears. Every single time she saw him, he had the same effect on her – triggering a lovesick teenager response that she was incapable of stopping.

He dismounted and came to stand near her at the fence, the reins held loosely in his large hand. The horse rubbed its blazed head against Tom’s back.

Emma leaned her arms across the fence. “I’m no expert, but you two look good together. Really good.”

“Watching me, were you?”

She met his sparkling gaze. “Not you. I was watching him.” She cocked her head in the direction of the horse, plucking at the grass like a patient eating his first post-op meal. “He’s gorgeous. It’s hard to take my eyes off him.”

Tom took a step forward and leaned his forearms on the fence next to hers. “What about me?”

Emma ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “Never even noticed you.”

“Liar.”

She laughed. “Can’t have you getting a big head.”

“No chance of that.” His eyes traveled to her lips and he inched closer. “Aren’t you going to give me a good morning kiss?”

She pulled away. “I’m not kissing you until after you’ve taken a shower.”

Tom grinned. “Not into eau-de-horse?”

“Sure. On a horse, not on you.”

He laughed and swatted the brim of her cap. “Come on. Walk with me to the stable and you can hose me and the horse down at the same time.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like fun.”

The cooler air greeted them as they entered the bluestone building. Emma looked around. “Ruby not here today?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes clouding for a fraction of a second. It happened so quickly that if she hadn’t been staring at him she would have missed it.

Tom hung the saddle on a hook, picked up the hose and turned it on the horse before replying. “Ruby’s over at the cottage with Mum. I can’t keep an eye on her when I’m out here with the horses.”

“Fair enough.” She scuffed the ground with her foot. “Actually I was hoping to go for a ride today.”

“Ah, so that explains the new boots,” he said, glancing at her brand new RM Williams boots. “You’re certainly dressed for it.”

He was right. She’d almost died at the astronomical price tag, but the boots were pure iconic Australia and now she owned a property, she figured the boots would be practical as well as help her play the part.

“So can we go for a ride? Or have I missed my chance since you’ve already been?”

Tom turned off the hose and the horse shook itself like a dog, spraying water everywhere. He ran a rubber sweat scraper over the horse’s rump. “No, you haven’t missed your chance. I can take another horse.”

“What about Ruby? Could she come with us too?”

His back was turned and when he didn’t reply she wondered if he had missed her question. She was about to repeat it when he answered. “I actually
had
promised to take Ruby for a ride this morning. Are you sure you wouldn’t mind if she joined us? She’ll be bummed otherwise.”

“Why would I mind?”

“It won’t be very romantic with her tagging along.”

“I didn’t come here for the romance, I came here for the riding.”

Tom chuckled. “At least I know where I stand.”

“If you teach me to ride a horse, I promise there will be plenty of time for romance later.” She lowered her eyes to his belt buckle and then slowly back up his chest to meet his gaze.

Tom’s eyes darkened. “Promises, promises.” He planted a kiss on her lips. “You have a deal Miss O’Connor and I’ll hold you to it.”

She pulled away and laughed. “
After
you take that shower.”

When he had finished drying the horse, he put a rug on it and led it into a stall. They stood side by side at the half door watching the horse bury its head deep into a bucket of chaff mixed with sticky molasses. The sweet smell filled the space between them. When Tom was satisfied the horse was happy, he held out his hand.

“Let’s go catch a pony for you to ride.”

Hand in hand they stepped into the bright sunshine and he pointed to a group of horses in the distant paddock. A brown horse with a dark mane and black markings stood in the shade of one of the gums, lazily flicking flies with his tail. A dapple gray slept beside it, one hock bent, head relaxed. A third larger horse stood off to one side, nibbling at dry grass.

Their shoulders brushed together as they walked. Tom was saying something about riding being as easy as sitting in a rocking chair, but she was barely listening, every one of her senses acutely aware of his presence beside her and her promises for later that day. Maybe he was right – it would have been better for just the two of them to go for a ride and include Ruby another time.

He nudged her with his elbow. “Are you even listening to me?”

“No. I’m still too busy
watching
you.”

“Is that right?” He pulled her into a sideways hug. “It’s not too late to say no to Ruby joining us,” he said, reading her mind. He flashed a lopsided smile. “She can talk non-stop under water with marbles in her mouth.”

Emma laughed. “It will be fun, and you and I can have all afternoon together.”

He bumped into her again, this time with his hip. “That’s twice you’ve made that promise.”

Ten minutes later the ponies were brushed and saddled. Emma heard laughter and turned to see Judy and Ruby heading their way. Shock filled her as she looked at Judy. She had lost weight and dark circles smudged the heavy bags under her lower lashes. Emma slid down from her position on the top rail of the white post and rail fence.

“Emma!” Ruby raced over and threw herself at Emma. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Hi Ruby.” With Ruby’s arms wrapped around her hips, Emma’s heart skidded. What would it be like to have her own child? Ruby dropped her arms and skipped over to her dad and Emma keenly felt the loss of her embrace. She peered into Judy’s face. “How are you doing?”

“I’m tired today. We must be due for rain, all my joints are aching.”

Tom’s face softened as he pulled his mum into a gentle embrace. “Thanks for having Rubes this morning.”

“We thought we might take her out for a ride with us,” Emma said, “to give you a break.”

Judy glanced from Emma to Tom as Ruby jumped up and down, clapping excitedly before racing off to the stables. “I think that’s a very good idea. It’s about time the three of you got to know each other better.” With a quick hug for both of them, Judy shuffled back toward the cottage.

While the adults were chatting, Ruby reappeared, leading the dapple gray pony toward them.

“Do you need a hand?” Tom asked.

Ruby took her horse toward an upturned feed bucket. “No thanks, I’m fine,” she said, determination written on her face. Emma hid her smile.

“She’s been having lessons almost since she could walk,” Tom said. “That’s why I wasn’t worried about putting her on Buckley to begin with. She’s a great little rider for her age.”

Ruby stood on the bucket, gathered the reins in her left hand, and put her left foot in the stirrup. She launched her body into the air and landed gracefully in the saddle with a wide grin. “See.” The horse snorted softly as though proud of its rider. Ruby patted the mare’s neck.

Tom turned to Emma. “Your turn.”

She ran her gummy hands down the legs of her jeans. It was now or never.

“If you stand on the bucket you’ll be able to put your foot in the stirrup and swing your leg up and over the same way Ruby did.”

That was the plan, but when Emma tried, she couldn’t spring herself off the ground. Heat rushed to her face and she dipped her head so her hair covered her flaming cheeks.

Tom laughed. “Try again and I’ll give you a hand.”

She placed her foot into the stirrup and to her shock, discovered Tom’s idea of “giving her a hand” was to place both hands on her backside, providing her with the extra thrust she needed.

She landed heavily in the saddle and fumbled for the horse’s mane and reins. She still felt the warmth of the imprint of Tom’s hands on her backside. Other than a twitch of his ears, the horse didn’t move, for which she was very thankful. She refused to meet Tom’s eyes, but she could see they glowed with mirth. He helped her position her feet in both stirrups, checking they were an appropriate length, then gave her a quick lesson on the correct way to grip the leather reins loosely between her fingers. Once he was satisfied she was safe, he tipped his Akubra back and beamed at her. “Are you ready?”

Pulse hammering in her throat, she glanced at Tom then at the ground. It seemed a long way down. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” she answered nervously.

With another grin, Tom effortlessly swung himself onto his horse and with a clicking sound, the three horses moved slowly off. Ruby led the way out of the yard into the paddock at a gentle pace.

They walked slowly across the paddock and Emma gradually found herself relaxing into the gentle rocking rhythm. The only sound was the horses’ hooves and the warbling of magpies in the nearby trees. Emma eventually let the reins go slack and went with the movement of the horse under her. Ruby walked and trotted, riding circles around them in the paddock, but thankfully they didn’t move beyond an amble. Other than concentrate on sitting, Emma didn’t even need to steer the horse. Hers followed meekly behind Tom. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. If this was horse riding, she was a professional.