Life Support: Escape to the Country (8 page)

Understanding hit. “He was going to ask
me
for a divorce?” Emma asked in astonishment.

Andrew found something fascinating in the wood grain of his desk. “Probably. Yes. One day. Soon,” he mumbled.

Emma sank back in her chair and in stunned silence watched the clouds float past through the thick tinted glass window. In the distance a container ship was being tugged out through the channel and cars, as small as children’s toys, crossed each way on the Westgate Bridge. Outside, the world was still going on, but in this corner suite it felt like her life had just become gridlocked.

“He was going to leave me for you, so he bought me a house,” she said finally, as the realization of three wasted years sank in. “Can I sell it?”

“Yes of course you can, but believe me, once you’ve seen the property, you’ll be more than happy to move back to Birrangulla.”

“Is there a catch?”

“No. No catch.” Andrew fiddled with the knot of his tie again.

She found that hard to believe. “But I was the one who asked for the divorce first. It doesn’t seem right to take it.”

“It’s either you take it and live in it, or …”

“Or what?” she prompted.

Andrew’s Adam’s apple bobbed twice, fast. “Or Winston and Mary-Margaret will try to take it from you.”

Emma raised her eyebrows. “What? Why would they want a farm in Birrangulla?”

Andrew sighed wearily. “When they see Lexton Downs, they’re going to want it. That’s why I said they can’t find out about you wanting a divorce or about Lleyton and me. If they ever find out, you’ll have one massive fight on your hands. I’ve known the family for a long time and they fight dirty.”

Emma crossed and uncrossed her legs before planting both feet on the ground and leaning forward. “Where do I sign?” she asked, with a voice full of determination.

With another small smile Andrew pushed the paperwork across the desk to her and indicated where to put her signature. She accepted the pen he handed her. There was no way she would let the Chirnside family beat her.

“What about the divorce papers?” she asked.

Andrew pulled open another drawer and withdrew a thin folder. It was labeled in neat handwriting “strictly confidential.”

“This is the only hard copy of them. I’ve deleted everything from the computer system.” He stood, went across to the long credenza and opened a cupboard. Inside was a paper shredder. “Would you like to do the honors?”

Emma looked at him with a new sense of appreciation. “Why are you doing this for me?”

“Because I loved Lleyton too and I hated what his parents did to him. I hated that he felt he had to live his whole life shrouded in secrecy.”

For the next few seconds the only noise was the shredding sound of paper being destroyed. When the room was silent they stared at one another in mutual agreement and understanding. Emma stood and gave Andrew an awkward hug.

“Thank you Andrew. Thank you for everything. I’m sorry life turned out this way for you too.” She dragged the set of keys toward her, hoping she hadn’t scratched the surface of his desk. She placed them in her handbag and fixed it on her shoulder. “You’d better give me the address for this place. I’ll go and check it out. I can’t promise I’ll stay there forever, but I
can
promise you I’m never going to let Mary-Margaret get her hands on it.”

Emma left Andrew’s office weighted down with a huge responsibility, and yet at the same time it felt like he’d removed a massive burden from her shoulders. She clutched the printed directions to Lexton Downs in her hand before folding them and stuffing them in her bag.

First things first she needed to quit her job. Then she needed to pack. It was time to put away the memories of her short married life.

Emma headed west, then turned north on the highway, knowing that if she didn’t stop, she could travel fourteen thousand kilometers and circumnavigate Australia on the same stretch of road. This time though, she was doing what she never expected to be doing – she was heading back to Birrangulla, taking the familiar highway out of Melbourne, through Victoria and across the border into central New South Wales. Home.

In the ten short weeks since Lleyton’s funeral, everything had changed. She’d said her good-byes and walked away from their house, her job, her work colleagues and their few friends. Now, on this sunny first-day-of-spring day, she knew there was no turning back. She’d placed their furniture into storage until she decided what to do with it, and all she had with her were two massive suitcases packed with her clothes and half a dozen boxes of other bits and pieces she couldn’t part with.

She exhaled. It didn’t matter whether she was having second thoughts about what she was doing, she had no choice but to keep going. With each passing kilometer doubt gnawed away at her insides and worry settled heavily on her shoulders. Was she doing the right thing? She hadn’t told anyone she was coming home, not even her mum and dad. What if Lexton Downs was nothing like Andrew had described? She’d have a house and plenty of money but no job and no plan B if everything failed.

For the next hour, Emma drove through the outskirts of Melbourne, stopping and starting at traffic lights and negotiating road works and constantly changing speed limits. She passed endless new subdivisions filled with matching houses sitting side by side on postage-stamp-size blocks of land. When was the city going to stop spreading? She remembered a time when these new suburbs had been nothing more than open paddocks and farmland. As she drove, she reflected that it was funny how she was already thinking of Birrangulla as home again. She hadn’t lived there in three years and yet it felt as though an invisible thread connecting her to the place was pulling her back. The landscape eventually changed as flat green paddocks opened up on either side of the road. She inhaled deeply, edged the car faster and activated the cruise control.

The further north she drove, the more the grief welled up within her. Since the accident and Lleyton’s death, she had barely stopped long enough to miss him or mourn his loss. The affair had changed everything, and although they were separated and had been living separate lives for six months, it didn’t make his death any easier.

Lleyton’s death had permanently snapped the cord that had held them together for the last three years, but by agreeing to keep his house, she’d be connected to him forever. She wasn’t sure that was what she wanted. Maybe it would’ve been better to sever all the ties so she could move on without feeling like he was always in her life. She should have told Andrew to keep the house himself. At least told him she’d make a decision about it after she’d seen it first. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She wouldn’t wallow in self-pity. Her life hadn’t worked out the way she’d planned when she’d moved to Melbourne with Lleyton, but that didn’t mean she had to escape the city and return to the country with her tail between her legs. She could return, head held high.

Wriggling in her seat, Emma tried to get into a more comfortable driving position. She had at least ten more hours of driving ahead of her.

She remembered Andrew’s final words to her as she left his office.

“Good luck, Emma. I think you might find you actually like it back in Birrangulla.”

*

Emma drove all day, stopping every few hours to stretch her legs. Finally she saw the turn off toward Cowra and took the familiar exit. It took her a few utes and four-wheel drives passing in the opposite direction before she remembered to raise her two fingers off the steering wheel in the friendly Aussie country salute. She chuckled. No doubt as they passed her, they mocked the blonde city chick in her “Toorak tractor” who didn’t know the country road rules. If only they knew that deep down she was a country girl, on her way back home.

She was less than an hour out of Birrangulla now and the closer she got the more tense she became. The last leg of the journey always seemed to take the longest. Dusk began to settle, ready to change itself into night. She needed to get to Lexton Downs before the inky blackness took over. She knew the roads fairly well, but once nightfall came, she might as well be driving blind. She stared at the gathering shadows and switched her headlights on. Driving carefully, she kept an eye open for kangaroos – they loved nothing more than to play kamikaze with cars in the twilight.

Fifteen minutes later, as the sun was setting amidst a pastel pink and orange palette in the western sky, Emma arrived in Birrangulla. She slowed down, keeping a close eye on the speed limit. The last thing she needed was a speeding fine. She drove slowly down the hill, noting the houses that extended in all directions. Encircled by mountains that formed a backdrop to the town, it felt larger than she remembered.

She smiled as she drove down the familiar wide streets. She passed the antique shop that had been there as long as she could remember and drove past the art gallery which sat next to the modern performing arts center. Over the road were specialty shops. Their well-lit windows displayed the latest season’s fashions. Farther ahead was the best inland fish and chip shop in Australia, its flashing lights in stark contrast to the pretty fairy lights strung around the trees outside the Italian restaurant next door. Both places were calling her name and her stomach rumbled. She had survived on Diet Coke and M&M’s since lunchtime and was starving.

In the middle of the grassy park, the red brick war memorial stood tall and proud. On the other side of the road was the glass and concrete shopping center that boasted K-Mart and Coles. Emma kept driving, negotiating the familiar tree-lined streets until she was on the other side of town. Tendrils of smoke drifted lazily into the darkening sky and invaded her car. The days in the central west of New South Wales might be warm in September, but the nights were still cold and wood fires were a must. Emma inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the smell. She hoped Lexton Downs had an open fireplace. She drove past the large red cross that was illuminated on a white background – the Birrangulla Base Hospital. If she stayed, it would be the only place to work, as the private hospital didn’t have an emergency department.

She came up to the turnoff to her parents’ house and by habit nearly turned left, before she spotted the signs for Sydney and kept driving. She had to go to Lexton Downs first and satisfy her curiosity.

The road flattened out and dozens of century-old elm trees formed an archway across the road. She flicked her indicator on and gently swerved her Mercedes to the side of the road, glad no cars were following her. Her headlights lit the gnarled branches of the elms which had started to bud – tiny shoots of green that would later form a thick canopy of leaves in summer. She loved the look of these trees, though they held bittersweet memories for her and her family.

Up ahead she caught sight of the small white cross set back off the road, surrounded by weeds and tall grasses. A faded dried flower arrangement hung loosely from the cross. Although the heater in the car kept the temperature at a comfortable twenty-one degrees, she shivered slightly, remembering the night a drunk driver had killed one of her best friends. Her grip was tight on the steering wheel and she forced herself to unclench her fists. Her brother’s first fiancée Rebecca had died after a tragic hit-and-run. It had taken Joel two years to get over his grief, with much of that time spent in an alcohol-induced fog that spiraled him deep into depression. The reason Emma usually avoided drinking alcohol.

She took a deep breath, put the car back in gear and slowly edged forward. Soon the fence posts and green paddocks were a blur as she picked up speed. She forced herself not to think about that difficult time in their lives. Joel had Kate and little Annabel now.

Minutes later she crossed Fish River Bridge before seeing the sign for Eagles Ridge Road, which led to Eagles Ridge Farm. This was familiar territory – the road led to Kate and Joel’s property. She slowed too quickly and her tires skidded in the loose gravel as she negotiated the turn off the asphalt onto the dirt road. Behind her, the taillights of her car illuminated a plume of pale dust following in her wake.

She drove along the gravel road slowly, keeping her eyes peeled for the old red brick church. She came up a small rise and saw it on the left. Beside it was the old abandoned cemetery, the gravestones almost impossible to see in the darkening sky. Opposite was the road she was looking for. Robertson’s Road. She went right.

The next ten kilometers were more winding country roads that drew her further into the unknown. She wasn’t sure she’d ever driven on this road before and if she wasn’t convinced she was still heading in the right direction she would’ve turned around and headed back into town for the night. Trees lined both sides of the road, their smooth trunks ghostly white in the bluish glow of her headlights.

Ten minutes later, two vertical reflective strips caught her attention. She slowed down and spotted a set of wrought iron gates hanging open between bluestone pillars. Nothing indicated she was at Lexton Downs, but it was the first property she’d come to. It was dark now and the moon had hidden herself rather than peeping out from the clouds to help illuminate the land. Emma didn’t want to admit it, but she was almost certain she was lost. She peered through the trees and caught sight of a small light glowing yellow in the distance. As much as it pained her, she’d have to stop and ask for directions. She turned into the driveway and her car vibrated over the cattle grid. She made her way slowly down the long gravel driveway until she came to a fork. She stopped the car. Left or right?

She chose left and thirty seconds later her headlights lit up a tiny house surrounded by neat gardens edged with box hedges. Two lights glowed behind closed blinds and when she got out of the car she breathed in the rich, acrid smell of wood smoke. She smiled. If Lexton Downs was anything like this place, Andrew might be right. She’d be more than happy to move in right now. Her eyes scanned the house for a name and she was rewarded when she saw a small bronze plaque.
Bluestone Cottage.

She got out of the car and the cold night air assaulted her, wrapping its fingers around her. A dog barked somewhere and she shivered, wrapping her scarf around her neck. Her feet crunched across the gravel as she made her way to the front door.

At Emma’s hesitant knock, a light was switched on from inside, instantly bathing her in a pale pool of yellow light. Above her head, moths gathered en masse, flapping their wings to get closer to the source of the glow. She hugged her coat a little tighter around her and stomped her feet to keep warm while she waited.

The door opened and Emma breathed in the inviting aroma of a cooking dinner. If she wasn’t mistaken, roast lamb. Her stomach growled involuntarily.

A woman stood in the light, her close-cropped hair the steel-gray color of the bluestone cottage walls. Oversized clothes hung from her skinny frame. She appeared old, but on closer inspection she was only in her early sixties. Something about her was vaguely familiar, but perhaps it was because she reminded Emma of her own mum, with a face more used to smiling than frowning. She gave Emma a friendly smile and raised her eyebrows in question.

“Er, hello. I’m sorry to bother you. But I’m wondering if you can help me. I’m looking for a property called Lexton Downs,” Emma said.

The woman peered myopically at Emma before planting one hand on an angular hip and smiling broadly. “You must be Lleyton’s wife, then. Emma isn’t it?”

Emma frowned. “How did you know that?”

The woman smiled warmly. “You look exactly as he described you. Blonde and skinny like a Barbie doll.”

Emma folded her arms self-consciously across her stomach. A Barbie? That’s how Lleyton labeled her? She tried to rein in her resentment.

“Come on in sweetie,” the woman said kindly, opening the dark green door wide. “Welcome to Lexton Downs.”

Emma’s eyes widened in surprise. “
This
is Lexton Downs?”

“No, no, no. This is the caretaker’s house – Bluestone Cottage – but don’t go standing there. You’re letting all the warmth out. I’m Judy. Come in and I’ll explain.”

Emma shifted from one foot to the other and rubbed her arms. She wasn’t sure she should go inside this stranger’s house.

“You went left at the fork back there instead of right,” Judy said.

Emma stared at the crumpled piece of paper in her hand with Andrew’s neat handwritten instructions and frowned. “So I’m close?”

“Yes. It’s a couple of minutes’ drive that way.” Judy pointed into the dark blue night sky.

A load lifted off Emma’s shoulders. “Really?” She exhaled. “That’s good. I’ve been driving since eight o’clock this morning and I’m exhausted. If you can point me in the right direction, I’ll head over there now and leave you to your dinner.”

The woman chuckled. “I suggest you come in and stay for the night. There’s nothing there for you. The house is empty. You might as well stay here and you can head out to the house for a look-see in the morning. My Tom can show you the way. Have you eaten?”

Emma’s belly rumbled again, giving her away. She clutched at her stomach and chewed her lip.

Judy laughed and stepped aside, holding out her hand. “Come on then. It’s not getting any warmer standing out here and by the sound of that grumble, you must be starving.”

Ten minutes later Judy seated Emma at a worn pine kitchen table that sat pride of place in the center of a tiny but immaculate kitchen. Judy bustled around the small room and soon pulled a plate of food from the oven and placed it in front of Emma. Steam poured from it and Emma bent and inhaled deeply. As she had correctly assumed from the smells filling the small cottage, it
was
roast lamb – roast lamb with all the trimmings. Her favorite comfort food.

Since Lleyton’s death, Emma had hardly eaten an entire meal, but now, seeing the laden plate in front of her, her mouth watered. Judy poured rich gravy over her meat and potatoes and watched silently while Emma ate. As she took the last mouthful and wiped her mouth with a paper napkin, there was a loud thump at the back door.