LifeoftheParty (6 page)

He gripped her arms. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

She moved away, flipping her hair from her face, a gesture
long essential to her thought process.
Here it comes
, she told herself.
She took a long, stabilizing breath, crossing her arms in front of him. “I
can’t marry you just because of this…pregnancy.”

He stared at her a moment then sighed with what she hoped
wasn’t relief. “Baby,” he said softly, “you want me to tell you again? I love
you. And our baby.”

“
Don’t
,” she hissed, “say that.”

“What?” He looked truly mystified. “Say what?”

Her chest tightened. She didn’t know how much longer she
could stand it. Gina felt the bile rising in her throat, a mix of hormones and
anger and impatience for her heart to hurry up and finish breaking, so she
could get on with whatever was left of her suitably now miserable life. But
what was worse was that hers wouldn’t be the only heart she’d be breaking, but
also this man’s whom she’d surely die for. But she also knew it couldn’t go any
other way.

“I’m not keeping this pregnancy,” she finally said.

His eyes narrowed in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

She had never been more. Her heart hammered, she felt dizzy,
her legs threatened to buckle. But she had to hold her ground.
There is no
alternative.
She was resigned. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He gripped her shoulders. “Gina, please, don’t do this.
Please
don’t do this.” He pulled her toward him, clutching her so tightly the breath
caught in her lungs. “Tell me what you want from me, but please don’t do this.”

She closed her eyes against their stinging, his heart
pounding against her cheek, his scent dizzying her thinking. “Doug, you have to
stop. Trust me when I say I would keep it if I could, but I just can’t.”

“Why?” he said softly. “Because of me?”

“No, no, no. Of course not.” She brushed her hand down his
chest
. Lie. Lie. Lie.
“If anything, I don’t deserve you. But I’m not
ready for this. I just can’t do it.”

He kissed the top of her head, each cheek, her forehead, his
breath hot and frantic against her face. “I never knew my father, you know?
Bastard took off on my mother, left us in some goddamn shithole.” He held her
face in his hands, staring down at her with such intensity Gina started to
tremble. “But I’d never do that to you. I want to take care of you. I want to
take care of—”

“Stop it, Doug,” Gina said, pushing away. “I don’t need
anyone to take care of me.”

“Why? You don’t think I could do it?”

“I don’t mean that.”

“Then what do you mean? I couldn’t take care of the kid?”

She waved him off. “This is a ridiculous argument. That’s
not the point.”

“Then what is?” He came toward her, hands fisted. “What’s so
fucking important you have to kill our kid?”

Her mouth dropped in outrage. “How dare you.”

“It’s what you’re gonna do, isn’t it?”

Gina dropped to the bed, yanking on her boots, near blinded
from welling tears. She turned away, swiping at her eyes. “You don’t
understand. Do you think I want to do this? You think I’m some kind of callous,
unfeeling bitch?”

He fell to a crouch in front of her, his face filled with
anguish. “Then explain it to me, doll. I’ll listen. I love you, I’d fucking die
for you, so give me one good reason why we can’t do this. If it’s something you
want me to do to make it easier I’ll do it. Just tell me what it is.
Please.
”

“You, you, you! Well, it’s not just about you.
I
can’t raise a kid now. Why won’t you listen to me?” But she could hardly hear
herself, her head was spinning so. How had she let it get this far out of
control? Gina looked at him, and in that one glance, it nearly killed her. She
had never seen him like this. Her icy-cool detective was teetering on the
brink. To prolong it was monstrous. She climbed from the bed.

“I have to go,” she said. “We’ll talk about it when I get
back.”

He looked at her as if she were insane. “Are you joking?”

“I’m due in D.C. by one.”

He leapt to his feet, grasping her arm. “Fuck D.C. You’re
not going anywhere until we settle this!”

“There’s nothing to settle,” she said, twisting her arm
loose, the words flying from her mouth so foreign to what she was feeling she
almost laughed. “I’m sorry, Doug, I’m so, so sorry, but I can’t keep this pregnancy,
I just can’t.”

“Why?” He slammed his hand against the wall, his face red,
livid. “When I’m a goddamn cop and you’re a fucking lawyer?! We make enough
goddamned money together to support ten families! Give me one solid reason why
we can’t have this baby. Just one logical reason why and I swear to God I’ll
leave you the fuck alone. Just
one
!”

One reason? Just one? If he only knew.
It was logic that
got us here in the first place.
“Doug, you know it’s got nothing to do with
money.”

“Then what is it? Tell me.” His phone rang. He ignored it,
grabbing her arms. “Come on, doll. You always had the answers before.”

There was only one, and if she told him it’d kill them both.
She started to shake. “I can’t— You don’t— Doug,
please
.”

His phone rang again from where it lay on the bed. She could
see it was his partner, Carmelli. Still he still ignored it, his fingers
digging into her arms. “Come on, Gina,” his voice seethed, pulling her flat
against him. “Stop fucking with me and give it to me straight.”

She stared at him, his whole body coiled with anguish, and
if there were a time when she would hate herself more she couldn’t imagine it.
She felt sick with a guilt she knew she’d carry with her until the end. His
house phone rang.

“You better answer that,” she said.

“Answer
me
,” he insisted. “Don’t you think I can
handle it?”

Could he really? Gina looked into eyes bleeding misery and a
kind of wildness she’d never seen in him before. It terrified her. She tried to
pull away. He gripped her tighter. She couldn’t tell him
ever
. He would
never believe how devious she was, how the art of the deal really worked, how
winning had always trumped the method. She could never live up to his
standards. And when he realized that he would hate her—hate her with everything
inside him, and that she could never take. That would kill her for sure. So it
was better to cut it off now before it got even worse than the horrendous state
it was already in.

“Let go,” she said.

He shook her slightly. “Tell me!”

Someone started pounding at his door, and when he looked to
it she wrenched herself loose. God, she loved him. Loved him more than she’d
ever felt herself capable of, so much she’d die for him as well. But she
wouldn’t kill him. And knowing the truth would surely do that. Because the
truth was worse than any lie she could fabricate, yet lie she would. She’d open
her mouth and lie as though she didn’t care. Which was, in truth, the biggest
lie she could ever tell. So she channeled her courtroom demeanor, affecting her
iciest veneer, and as every part of her shattered inside, she looked to the
only man she’d ever love and lied with every fabric of her being.

“It’s not complicated. It’s just not the right time. And—”
She nearly choked.

“And
what
?” he growled, his eyes wild.

She was shaking.
Lie. Lie. Lie.
“I don’t love you,”
she said and, grabbing her suitcase, bolted for the door.

“
What
?” he said, stepping back.

When Gina flung open the door, two uniforms were behind it.
She squeezed past. “Lieutenant Welland?” said an officer, “You got to come.
Your partner’s under fire.”

Gina was getting into her car. Gina was starting it.

“Over on Birch. Six perps in an abandoned house, one with a
baby. Maniac’s dangling it out the window.”

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, watching her pull away.

They’re dead, they’re all dead.

Hours later he awoke in the hospital, his body convulsing as
he came out of the anesthesia. It was all he could think of, acres of little
rubber corpses, tiny fists frozen in a perennial clutch, their mouths gaping in
permanent supplication. The worst was he didn’t care. He’d never care again.
Because it would never happen again.

He was freezing, his teeth chattering, his chest feeling
like he was caught under a car crusher. Through his foggy vision he could see
the nurse tucking the blanket around him, shooting something into his IV. Then
another face appeared before him, as though it were floating in the air, like
an angel. He felt himself smiling.
She’s so beautiful.
She smiled back,
squeezing his hand.

“Doug,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. She
bent to kiss him, her lips the softest thing he ever felt. “They said you’re
going to be okay. They told me.”

He closed his eyes, remembering the scent of her, the feel,
her breasts against his chest, the silk of her hair, her taste, deep down. For
a moment or two he was lost in reverie, sinking himself into her, spilling
himself inside her.
Spilling, spilling, spilling…
His eyes opened.

“Get…out,” he whispered.

She clutched his hand, startled. “Doug, sweetie—”

“Get…” He tried to push himself up, falling back in a rack
of pain. “Get…the fuck…out.”

“Doug!”

The nurse put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s just the
anesthesia. Don’t take him seriously.”

Somehow Doug pushed himself up on one elbow. He looked to
the nurse, his head spinning but his mind never clearer. “Get her out…of here.
Now.
”

Gina palmed a hand to her chest, her face frantic with fear.
“Doug, let’s forget about what I said before. We can think about that later.
All we need to do now is get you well and—”

“
Get her the fuck out of here
!” he screamed then
promptly passed out. When he woke up hours later, she was gone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Gina took the cups from the table, setting them into the
tiny sink.

“What was it? Did you know?” Doug asked, his voice flat.

She often wondered herself, feeling the old choking coming
back. She clenched her eyes, steeling herself. “It was too early. Anyway, what
does it matter? I had a miscarriage the next day.”

“I know. Carmelli told me. But somehow it seems important
now.”

She was grateful he couldn’t see her. She swallowed hard.
“Well, it isn’t. What is, is someone’s threatening to kill me.” She ran water
into the cups and washed them, the simple act seeming to turn a page. “There’s
a fundraiser tonight at the Liberty Ballroom in Cherry Hill. Black-tie.” She
turned. “Do you have a tux?”

He sat back, his mouth crooking, the mood miraculously
lightening. “Of course. Doesn’t everyone?”

Her mouth crooked as well. “Why do I have the impression
you’re lying?”

He stood. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Can I ask where?” She grabbed her purse.

“That’s your call, doll, I’m just the hired help.”

“Maybe we ought to remember that.”

“And maybe the Republicans will hire Michael Moore as their
spokesperson.”

Gina laughed out loud. “Why, Douglas, I do believe you have
unexpected depth.”

“And a little later, you’re sure to find out,” he said,
closing the door behind them.

DEMOCRATIC PARTY FUNDRAISER

LIBERTY BALLROOM—CHERRY HILL, NJ

8:21 P.M.

Gina leaned into the mirror and blotted her lipstick,
glancing down. Jesus, from this angle her tits fairly popped out of her bodice.
She grinned. So that’s why Doug’s eyes had near done the same when she stooped
to get out of the limo. She straightened, brushing back a hair that had found
its way out of her uptwist. Good Lord, how she loved the way he reacted to her.

Right now she knew he was somewhere outside the ladies’
room, lurking in the shadows as he had all day, his tux a stunningly simple mix
of fabric and thread that covered his body in no way she had ever seen. How did
he do it? She couldn’t help feeling smug at the way women reacted to him, a
couple on the way in almost stuttering when she introduced him, their obvious
jealousy barely masked.
Sorry, girlfriends, he’s mine
, she wanted to yell.
But was he? She smoothed the organza of her gown. Too early to say. She sighed.
Too near to hope for. She left for the ballroom.

Gina entered into a cacophony of light and sound and music
and it made her smile. On top was such a lovely place to be and besides, with
or without the victories, it had to be a well-known fact that Democrats were
simply more
fun
than the GOP. She swept into the raucous room and, as
predicted, soon felt a hand at the small of her back, Doug’s scent filling her
head when he bent to whisper in her ear.

“Did I tell you yet how gorgeous you look tonight?”

She glanced up to him, fairly shivering. “No, as a matter of
fact.”

His brows rose. “Really?”

“Honest to God.”

“Damn. We’ll have to fix that.”

Up ahead was a group of people who no doubt were waiting for
her. Luckily, they hadn’t seen her yet. Lucky because Doug was steering her
down a hallway and behind a screen hiding several stacks of chairs.

“I can’t keep my hands off you,” he whispered, bending to
kiss her.

And when he did, she nearly lost her mind. God, she loved
the taste of him. Clean like mint, a hint of some potent potable, a strong dose
of lust. His hand was already kneading her ass, her body up against another as
hard as iron, his length stiffening exponentially to her rapidly rising
breathing. His tongue found hers and he deepened his kiss, his hand sliding up
her bodice to snake inside to a nipple. When he pinched it, Gina groaned.

“You’ll make a mess of me,” she whispered.

He licked her ear. “Why not? You’ve already made one of me.”

“Did not,” she breathed, her hand falling against his
swollen cock.

He flinched. “Look, you know as well as I do if we don’t
take care of this neither of us will be able to form a coherent sentence out
there.”

She pulled his head down to meet hers. “So fuck me. Quick.
Right here.”

He blinked. “Well, I had something better in mind.”

“No.” She pressed herself against him. “I want you to fuck
me.”

He growled, hoisting her atop a stack of chairs. “Now’s not
the time.”

“Then when is?” She looked down. He was sliding her gown up
to her waist, spreading her legs. She had known better than to wear panties
under her garter belt. “Doug!”

Too late. She couldn’t think about his cock when his tongue
was so savage against her clit. She gnarled her fingers into his hair as he
paid homage to her pussy, spreading her lips with his thumbs as he licked
around her swollen clit. Her back arched when his tongue found her slit, and a
second later she was off, her hips bucking against his mouth as he sucked the
orgasm from her, and in those fleeting moments she knew she had to have his
cock inside her one way or another.

“Gina,” he moaned around one more kiss that nearly launched
her to the ceiling.

She slid from the chair, her pussy still throbbing as she
fell to her knees. Doug flattened himself against the wall and unzipped, Gina
taking his full length down her throat the moment his cock sprang free.

“Christ!” he nearly yelled, his hands on her head, and
within seconds Gina’s mouth filled with the salty-sweet taste of his
come—coming and coming and coming.
Jesus
,she thought,
swallowing, his hot flesh pulsing against her tongue, his breath rapid and
guttural, his hips slightly jerking.
I must be like his own personal time
bomb.
As he was to her, she knew. As she sucked him back, swirling her
tongue around his last traces, she felt herself coming again, her hips
following the same rhythm as she milked the orgasm out of him. When he stilled,
as she basked in the bliss that always followed, she couldn’t help but feel a bit
confused. Wouldn’t she ever feel his cock really inside her?

“Come here,” he murmured, pulling her to her feet.

He had never kissed her more sweetly, her taste in his
mouth, his, no doubt, in hers. He pressed her tightly against him and she could
feel the beat of his heart, but clearly the urgency was sated. Only the
contentment of satisfaction remained.

Gina grabbed a hank of her hair. “I must look like hell.”

Doug smiled with something she couldn’t define. “I’ve never
seen you more beautiful.”

She laughed. “And you certainly look sexy as hell with my
lipstick all over your mouth.”

“Don’t I?” He took out a handkerchief and blotted.
Were
detectives the last people in the world who still carried them?
He shifted
against her. “Got a feeling the rest of it’s someplace else.”

She pushed off him. “No doubt. Oh look, there’s another
bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

He zipped, straightened his jacket, slipped a mint into his
mouth. And after running a hand through his hair, looked nearly perfect. Gina
couldn’t help but marvel.

“I’ll be waiting,” he said, crossing his arms.

She shivered again and ducked inside.

Wasn’t she in a similar place just minutes before? She
straightened her bodice, seeing the marks from his lips just below the fabric
line. Her nipples hardened. God, if he didn’t know the meaning of discretion.
She took a brush, powder and lipstick from her clutch and went to work, and
within minutes, Gina had been restored to decency. She thought of going into a
stall, but she rather liked the bit of dampness he had left in her nether
region. Because even momentarily reflecting on how it got there sent it
dampening even further so really, why bother?

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why he didn’t simply
hoist her against him and fuck her. Why, in all their encounters these last
couple of days, hadn’t he fucked her at all? It couldn’t be that he was
incapable, and it clearly wasn’t that he didn’t desire her. Jesus Christ, she
thought as she took one last look in the mirror—what was it? She walked out
into the hall, scanning from left to right.

He was gone.

“Gina?” She jumped, looking straight ahead.

“Gina, how the hell are you?” A slightly balding middle-aged
man walked over, his hand extended.

“Marcus.” Gina slid her clutch under her arm and shook hands
with Congresswoman Antonia Perez’s chief of staff. Even though Congresswoman
Perez’s legislative district was next to Congressman Falco’s, her D.C. office
was one floor up in the Rayburn building, and it had been awhile since Gina had
run into Marcus. Especially with Congress currently out of session. “How’s that
bill coming?”

“Stalled, no surprise there.” He tugged at his collar.
Clearly he had bought it either a decade or twenty pounds earlier. “Hey, I hear
your guy would’ve moved up from ranking member to chair of Appropriations if he
wasn’t running for governor.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting on
one foot. “Why’s he doing that anyway? Why run in-state when his star’s rising
so fast Federal?”

“Oh come on, Marcus,” she said with a wink. “Everyone knows
the quickest route to the White House is via the statehouse.” She looked past
him.
Where is Doug
?

He leaned in. “Then it’s true?”

She swept her hand in front of her. “I’m not saying
anything.”

He laughed. “Same old clamp-lips Gina. You’re a freaking legend,
you know that?”

“Why follow trends, Marcus, when you can set them?” Music
spilled in from the ballroom and they gravitated toward it.

“Dance?” he asked, offering his arm.

“Sure,” she said, taking it, and they walked out onto the
dance floor.

It was a nice, staid waltz, and Marcus was a capable enough
dancer. She continued the small talk, the usual Jersey politico splice and
dice, both scanning the floor for who was there, who wasn’t and who should be.
Like Doug, who was still nowhere to be seen.
Dammit
, she thought,
irritated.
He picked a fine time to be elusive.
Why hadn’t he done it
during the day when she was at Falco’s local congressional office, elbow-deep
in correspondence and constituents, instead of lounging in the corner chair,
those icy eyes clamped on her legs, driving her slowly mad. She laughed to
herself. Mad with wanting to pull him into the nearest closet to fuck him dry.
Not a single thing could’ve happened to her within those four walls, but here?
Amid hundreds of people?

The waltz ended and quickly went into a jitterbug. Marcus
lifted a brow asking,
Want to?
Gina shrugged and smiled a
Why not?
Ten minutes later, she found herself panting on the sidelines with Marcus’ wife
and a couple of press secretaries, a cold champagne in her hand.

“Didn’t you come in with someone?” asked Marcus’ wife.

Gina smiled subtly. “You noticed, huh?”

“Someone like that,” one of the press secretaries said,
“screams to be noticed.”

“I’ll second that,” said the other. “Who is he?”

“An old friend,” Gina said, hardly a lie.

“Well, if he isn’t with benefits, girl,” said the first
press secretary, “you need to get your head seriously examined.”

Gina took a sip of champagne. “I’ll take that under
advisement.”

“Gina! Sweetheart!”

She turned.
Oh God, no.
“Hello, Lee.”

He adjusted his black-framed glasses and grabbed her hand,
sliding his own over it. “You look magnificent as usual. How are you, darling?”

“Just great, Lee.” She took another sip, scanning the room.
Where the hell was Doug? “You?”

When he smiled that grin of his, his most lethally seductive
attribute, Gina was almost blinded by the sparkle. “Deadly fabulous, Gina
darling.” He took a step closer. “Especially now that you’re here.”

There was a time when just a glance from Lee Roland would’ve
sent Gina into a swoon. Especially back when she was coming off six months of
mourning after the heartbreak that was Douglas Welland and this state senator,
pharmaceutical heir and DNC heavyweight decided to pay her some undivided
attention. But as money-smart and political-savvy as he was, he was also a
player through and through, and she hardly needed to walk in on him doing her
aide atop her own desk to know she shouldn’t have gotten involved with him in
the first place. Not that he took their breakup lightly. He pursued her with
all the relentlessness of a tiger shark, but Gina never gave in. Far be it for
her to make the same mistake twice.

“Dance with me,” he said, coming even closer.

She glanced to the stage. “I believe the band’s on break.”

He slipped the flute from her hand, took a sip, handed it
back. “There’s a deejay spinning.”

She handed the flute back to him. “Pass.”

“You can’t avoid me forever,” he whispered, leaning in.

“I can try.” She stepped back. And immediately into
something very solid behind her.

“Gina, why don’t you introduce me to your friend?”

Gina turned to see Doug’s eyes lasering into Lee’s.
Thank
God.
“Doug, this is State Senator Lee Roland.”

“Charmed, I’m sure,” Lee said, sliding his hands in his
pockets. “Gina, I’ll be talking with you soon. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” He
slinked off.

Gina closed her eyes, exhaling. “Criminy.” She turned to
Doug. “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere in particular.”

“But you left me alone.

“You’re in a roomful of people.”

“Any one of whom could’ve been the nut out to get me.”

His eyes darkened. “Not while I’m here.”

“Oh really?” She poked her hair, smoothed her skirt,
clutched her bag. “You sure of that?”

He took her arm. “I’d stake my life on it. Come on.”

“Where’re we going?” she asked as he led her off the dance
floor.

“To that man who’s obviously waving us over.”

“Who?” She peered to where they were heading. “Oh jeez,
Jack’s here. Dammit, I should’ve been watching for him.”

“Ever the good admin, eh? Or is it more than that?”

She smiled. “Oh my, are you jealous, Doug?”

His hand fell possessively to the small of her back. “When I
am, doll, you won’t have to ask.” A moment later, she sailed away from him.

“Jack!” she said, arms wide. “When did you get here?”

The Ladies’ Choice
is what they called Jack Falco.
Doug eyed the man, sizing him up as Gina absorbed his full attention.
Ladies’
choice my ass
, he thought. He’d liked to snap him in two.

“Jack Falco? Sure, I voted for him. Didn’t you?” Doug
recalled Dr. Lateesha gushing as she drained every last ounce of blood from
him. “What’s not to like?” Right then the proper doctor seemed to go a little
woozy picturing him. “Forty-two, dark hair with that sexy graying at the
temples, eyes like tarnished copper pennies.” She sighed, which nearly made
Doug cringe. “Oh yeah, the man’s smokin’ for sure.” She snapped on another
blood collection tube and smiled wickedly. “If I were you, Dougie, I’d keep my
woman on one tight leash because if it were me, well…” She winked. “There’s
just no
telling
.”

Right,
Doug thought,
I’d like to see him try
.
But then again he may already have had the chance. Doug tightened the space
between him and Gina as she turned to take his hand.