Light My Fire (6 page)

Chapter Nine

♬

Prudence Clearwater

At some point, I fell asleep on the couch while Dean sat on the other. I didn’t realize how tired I was. We jammed all night.

He shook me
gently. “I’ll take you home.”

That made me
open my eyes. I didn’t want him to see my place. He would pity me, which was the last thing I wanted. “No. I’ll take a cab.”

He shook his head. “I’m not letting you take a cab at this hour.”

No.
“Really, I’m fine.”

Dean grabbed his keys. “We can argue all night and you’ll just sleep here.”

Why was he being so stubborn about this? “No.”

He stared me down. “I would never let any of my friends take a taxi. And I’m certainly not letting you. Now let’s go.”

I hated chivalry. Seriously.

I didn’t know what to do. It didn’t seem like I had a choice. “Fine.”

He smiled in victory. “Thank you.”

I hate you.

We got into his car and drove to my apartment. When we reached the main road that bisected it, I decided I could walk the rest of the way. “Here is fine.”

He stared at me. “Where’s your building?”

“I can walk.”

“Nope. I’m walking you to the door. I can’t make millions o
ff you if you’re dead.”

This guy just wouldn’t give up.

Dean reached my building and pulled over. There was a group of thugs standing outside, smoking cigarettes and marijuana. Gold chains hung around their necks. Their arms were covered in sleeves of tattoos.

This didn’t look good.

“This is where you live?” he asked quietly. His eyes were glued to my threatening neighbors.

My voice came out as a whisper. “Yeah.”

He opened the door then escorted me to my apartment. The thugs eyed his car as we walked by. I heard a few whistles as we moved inside. I figured that was directed at me.

We walked to the second floor then reached my door. Loud sounds of my neighbor
’s TV blared through the walls. A child cried down the hall, and another couple were yelling at each another. It sounded like it would end in blood.

Dean
’s face was unreadable, but he examined every inch of the place.

“Thanks for taking me home.”

“No problem.” He finally looked at me, his eyes unreadable.

“Well, good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” He looked uncomfortable, like I said the wrong thing.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah.” I could tell he wasn’t.

I decided to let it go. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

I walked inside and shut the door. Like I did every night, I tho
ught about Cash and wished I were with him. The tears burned my eyes so I held my teddy bear, the one my brother got me, and sobbed myself to sleep.

♫

A loud knock on my door jolted me from my pile of blankets on the floor.

“Pru?”

It was Dean. I pulled the hair from my face then opened the door. “Is everything okay?” Why would he come here in the middle of the night?

He had a torn look in his eyes. “I…I can’t leave you here.”

I knew I shouldn’t have showed him where I lived.

“Please stay with me tonight. We’ll figure out what to do in the morning.”

“No.”

The irritation entered his eyes. “I’m not leaving unless you come with me.  So are you going
to make me stay?”

I didn’t want him to help me. I wanted to make it on my own. “Dean, I’m fine.”

“Grab your things.” He stepped back to give me some privacy.

Ugh. Men.

I grabbed my purse and a bag. I stuffed my teddy bear inside then came into the hallway. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. My hair was messy and my face was free of makeup. But I didn’t care how I looked.

“Come on.” He placed his hand on my elbow and led me out of the building. When we got inside his car, I looked at the time. He’d only
been gone for an hour. It seemed liked more time had passed.

He pulled away from the
building and drove back to his house near the beach. We didn’t speak. I was angry with him for forcing me to leave. I wasn’t his problem.

“Don’t be mad at me.”

He could read my mind. “I don’t need you to help me.”

“Clearly, you do.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I can’t sleep knowing you’re staying in that hell hole.” His voice came out aggressive. “I don’t care if you’re pissed at me. You told me you were scared and now I understand why. I’m your friend and I’m not letting my friend stay there. Especially when you weigh a hundred pounds and you’re totally defenseless.”

I looked out the window and kept my silence. I was glad I wouldn’t be sleeping there tonight, but I was embarrassed I needed someone to take care of me.

“There’s nothing wrong with asking for help,” he said.

“I’m tired of asking for help…”

I felt his stare on my face but he didn’t speak. We returned to his house and parked in the garage. After we were inside, he led me upstairs. “You can stay here.” It was a furnished bedroom. The window faced the ocean and it had a private bathroom. It was so much better than what I had before. No cockroaches. Tears fell from my eyes immediately. I couldn’t stop them.

Dean patted me on the back. “It’s okay. You don’t have to stay there anymore.”

I wiped my tears away quickly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m your friend. I’ll always be here for you.”

“But you hardly know me.”

He gave me a serious look. “I know you’d do the same for me, right?”

Of course I would.

“Get some sleep. We’ll figure out what to do in the morning.” He patted me on the back then closed the door.

When I was alone, I didn’t cry. I jumped into bed and got the best night of sleep I’ve had in a long time.

Chapter Ten

♬

Cash Matthews

“How can you afford to take this much time off work?” Jeremy asked the next day. We were both sitting in the living room. One of his lady friends just left. “Or did you lie about that too?”

I was cornered. “I did lie.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

It was going to take me forever to dig myself out of this hole. I was just grateful he gave me permission to marry his sister.

“What do you really do?”

“I’m an executive producer for the Tonight Show. I’ve also produced other projects as well.”

He eyed me. “So you weren’t lying about rich.”

“Nope.”

“Why did you lie?”

“It’s a long story. Basically, I used to be married. My ex-wife used me to get famous. Ever since then, I never date someone if they know my true profession. I can’t afford to be used like that again.”

“And since Prudence is a musician, you assumed she’d act the same?”

“Exactly.”

“I guess I can understand that.”

“Thanks.”

“Does she know the truth?”

I nodded. “I told her.”

“And you haven’t changed your mind about helping her?”

I replayed that day in my mind. I thought she’d be there but she already took off. “Yeah. I had the director from Capitol Records come to see her. But she wasn’t there.”

“So you believe in her?”

“Of course I do. And I’m so in love with her that I don’t care if she uses me at this point.”

He gave me a serious expression. “You know Prudence would never do that, right?”

“I do.”

Jeremy flipped through the channels then turned it off when nothing was on. “I don’t mind having you here, but I think you’ve waited long enough.”

I sighed. “I know. I’m just scared she’ll call when I leave.”

“It’s been
weeks. If she hasn’t called by now…I have a feeling she isn’t going to anytime soon.”

“She’s okay.” I knew what her brother was thinking. She’s just going through a
hard time and wants her space.”

“But she could call me and tell me that.” The anger escaped his voice.

Just then his phone rang in his pocket. He stilled then pulled it out as fast as he could.

“Who is it?” I stood up even though I had no idea why.

He looked at the screen. “Unknown.”

I doubted it was here. “Answer it.”

He took the call. “Hello?” The silence stretched. “Pru?”

“Give me the phone!” I lunged at him but
he held me back.

“Pru, wait.”

I tried to grab it again. “Let me talk to her.”

“Don’t hang up on me!” He cringed then threw the phone down.

“What the hell happened?”

He sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. “She said she didn’t want to talk. But she wanted me to know she was okay.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. That was something to be grateful for. I was glad she was okay. “Did she say anything else?”

“She told me she loved me. That was about it.” He gave me a sympathetic look. “I would have told her about you but it happened so fast.”

“I understand…”

“Well, I guess there’s no point in you staying here.”

“Yeah…”

“I’ll let you know if she calls again, but judging by the sound of her voice, it won’t be for a while.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I just wanted to talk to her. “I have your word?”

“You’ll be the first person I call.”

“Thank you.”

Chapter Eleven

♬

Prudence Clearwater

When I woke up the next morning, Dean was already downstairs. A steaming cup of coffee sat on the table along with his Mac. His phone kept lighting up with text messages. He smiled when he saw me. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good. It’s nice not havin
g cockroaches crawl all over me.”

His hand stilled before he took a drink of his coffee. He returned it to the surface. “And we’re done with the coffee…”

I laughed. “I’m sorry.”

“Why did you choose to live there to begin with?”

There was no point in hiding it. “No money.”

“You don’t get paid for the gigs you do?”

“It’s enough just to cover rent.” I sat down across from him and looked at all his gadgets. “Working?”

“Always.” He left the table and grabbed a plate from the stove. He set it in front of me. “I hope you like omelets.”

I was starving. “Thank you.” I grabbed my silverware and dug in. Dean watched me for a moment before he turned his gaze back to this computer.

“I can rent you an apartment down the road so you won’t be far from me. It’s clean, safe, and nice.”

Ugh. I didn’t want him to pay for my things.
It
was nice letting me spend the night here, but I didn’t want him to do anything more for me. “No, it’s okay. I’ll find something else. I’ve been looking for a job so I should have money soon.”

“You really hate
it when people help you, huh?” He gave me a wide smile.

“I’m not your responsibility.”

“You’re my client,” he said firmly. “You
are
my responsibility.” He grabbed his checkbook then wrote me a check for fifty grand. “Consider this an advance.”

My eyes widened and I almost fainted. “But I haven’t done anything.”

“Hence, why it’s called an advance.”

I didn’t think that was a good idea. My brother’s voice popped into my head. I should never take something without reading the contract first. He’d kill me if I took that money. “No.”

“No?” He pushed the check toward me.

“I’m sorry. I can’t take that.” I pushed it back toward him.

“It’s not free money,” he said gently. “You’d work for it.”

“I’m not taking anything until I read a contract.” I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest.

Dean stared at me for several minutes. Neither one of us spoke. Finally, he took the check back. “You’re a smart cookie.”

“So you were trying to trick me?” That notion broke my heart. I thought I could trust him.

“Not at all. This is a personal check from me, not Capitol Records. But other people aren’t so nice. They’ll try to trick you left and right. It’s a relief you aren’t so gullible.”

“Thank you, Isaac…”

He chuckled. “You’ll trust me eventually. I’m not crooked like everyone else.”

I’m sure he was
n’t. But my brother’s words still hovered in my mind. I missed him. The quick phone call I made last night was difficult. But I didn’t want him to worry about me. If he called my old phone, it wouldn’t go through. And that would scare the shit out of him. But I wasn’t ready to talk to him and explain Cash and I weren’t together. I just couldn’t face the truth. And he’d be so hurt that I lied to him. I’ve never done it before.

“Do you have any formal education?”

“I have a bachelor’s.”

“In what?” he asked.

“Analytical chemistry.” I was tired of saying this. Everyone thought I was smart but I wasn’t. It was more impressive than it really was.

He nodded. “That’s badass…”

I shrugged.

“Where’d did you go to school?”

“Cambridge.”

Dean laughed. “Why am I not surprised?” He picked up his coffee again and drank it. “So, we need to decide what to do about you.”

I was hoping we could just avoid it and hope it went away.

“You’re welcome to live with me as long as you need to. When I moved into this house with my wife, it’s where we wanted to raise our family. That’s why there’s so many bedrooms.” That broke my heart. “So there’s plenty of room for you. I don’t mind having you around as long as you never go into my office. That’s my only condition.”

I wondered what was in there…”I don’t want to invade your space, Dean.”

“It’s fine, really. I’ve considered getting a roommate because I get pretty lonely around here. Anna is my only company.”

“Anna?”

“The maid.”

“Oh.”

“Think about it. But I think it’s the only solution we have. You won’t take my money, so what else are you going to do?”

It was the only option I had. But I did think about showing up on Cash’s door and begging him to let me live there. I wanted to go back to our relationship so much. God, it was perfect. But that wasn’t reality. He probably already had some girl sleeping in his bed—my bed. The thought was too much.

“Stop thinking about him.”

“What?” Did I say all that stuff out loud?

“You get this look on your face. I can tell when you’re thinking about him.”

“Oh.”
Was I that obvious and pathetic?

“What’s his name?”

“Cash.”

“You need to let him go. You’re just making it harder on yourself.”

“Easier said than done,” I said with a sigh.

“You’ll move on in time.”

“Have you moved on?” I shouldn’t have said that. The situations were completely different.

“I still have needs.” He finished his coffee and put it aside. “I have my way with women then move on. There’s never any love or emotion behind it. My wife is the only one in my heart.”

It was sweet but insanely depressing at the same time. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay.”

“You can’t move on or you choose not to?”

“Both.”

“I guess I feel the same way.”

“I hope not,” he said. “You’re too young to give up on love.”

“You gave up when you were twenty-two.”

He shook his head. “I found the love of my life, I married her, and I vowed to love her forever. She was my one person. You have yet to find yours. Don’t give up.”

“Cash is my one person…”

“But he didn’t love you in return. It doesn’t count.”

I guess that was true.

“You’ll feel better in time. I promise.”

♫

Living with Dean was weird at first, but after a few days, we started a routine. He made breakfast in the morning, and I cooked dinner at night. I did my own laundry but Anna took care of his. She was a nice woman.

Dean had to travel for work so he was gone for a few days. I was alone at the house. So I wrote a few more songs and perfected my craft. His Sound Room was a safe haven for me. I used all his instruments then stared out the window. If I could ever afford a music room someday, it would be identical to his.

His office was downstairs and toward the back, facing the ocean. I never went in there like he asked. It was probably locked anyway, but I never checked.

Dean was pleasant to live with. We had dinner together every night then watched TV in the living room. The longer I was around him, the more I cared for him. It was a relief having a genuine friend. I didn’t feel like he wanted anything in return for letting me live there. And I didn’t assume all men were interested in me, but I knew Dean had no interest in me in that way. It was clear he was still devoted to his wife, even in death. A part of me liked him more because of it. It was romantic.

“How was your day?” He placed the groceries on the counter then put them away. I helped him a second later.

“Good. How was yours?”

He rolled his eyes. “Once you’re famous, you think you’re entitled to everything.”

“What does that mean…?”

“One of my talents…who will remain anonymous…is a fucking bitch. Now she’s asking for more money even though
her first year contract isn’t even over. Now she thinks she can call all the shots—wrong.”

“It sounds like the music career is going to her head.”

“She already made 100 million. You really need more than that?”

Wow. I couldn’t even process the amount. “I’d be happy with a 100 grand.”

Dean smiled then a chuckled escaped his lips. “The industry always changes people. But I hope it doesn’t change you.”

“I don’t see why it would…”

He shrugged. “We’ll see. But I hope you’re right.”

I’ve never cared about money or fame. If I could write my music and make a decent living, I’d be happy with that. And if I could avoid the public eye, that would be even better. But unfortunately, it didn’t work that way. “If I start acting like a bitch, knock some sense into me.”

Dean shook his head. “I won’t knock you. But I might say a few words.”

I put the reusable bags in the cabinet then sat on the couch. My guitar leaned against the table. I was strumming the chords before he came inside. But now I decided to take a break.

He sat down and leaned against the couch. When his eyes closed, it seemed like something was wrong.

“Everything alright?”

He sighed. “I love my job and I’m very grateful for what I have…but it gives me a headache sometimes.”

“I’m sorry.”

He kept his eyes closed. “Sing to me.”

“Me?”

Dean nodded slightly.

I grabbed my guitar then tried to find a song to play. After Gavin told me he loved me, the relationship changed. I felt like I lost a best friend. I decided to play that. I plucked the strings and sang quietly. After a moment, I forgot about Dean entirely. When it was
me and my guitar, there was nothing else. And I sang away.

When I finished, I leaned the guitar against the table.

“Have you talked to him?”

“Who?” Now his eyes were open, but he seemed to be in a better mood.

“The star of your song.”

“Oh. No…it’s been a while.”

“I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sure he feels worse than you do.”

“Yeah. I feel like I’ve lost a best friend.”

“Does he know about your success?”

“No…I haven’t said anything.”

“Why not? Wouldn’t he be happy for you?”

“We haven’t signed anything,” I reminded him.

He grinned. “We will soon. The industry is more complicated than it seems.”

“How can it be if you’re the owner?”

Dean shook his head. “It’s too long to explain.”

I sighed. “I’m afraid they won’t be supportive. We were a band, and now I’m pursuing a solo career. It’s a betrayal.”

“You tried to convince me to sign all of you.”

“And when you said no, I should have walked away.”

He gave me a sympathetic look. “Pru, they’ll understand.”

I sincerely doubted that.

“Is this guy attractive?”

I don’t know. I guess. “Sure.”

“Well, if he’s good and he’s easy on the eyes, I could work with that.”

That irritated me. “Why does appearance matter?”

“It matters a lot. The person behind the voice matters more than the voice itself.” He turned his head and looked at me. “I sincerely hope you didn’t just realize that. I’ve rejected talented musicians because they were not magazine material.”

“That’s horrible.” And disgusting.

“I know it is. I admit that.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“Capitol Records is one of the biggest companies in the U.S. It’s a big deal. I want everyone to work with me, not go to my competitors.”

I wasn’t sure how this was going to work. It went against everything I believed in. “I appreciate your offer to give me this wonderful opportunity, but let’s get something straight. I am not going to wear skimpy outfits and parade around the stage like a whore. If that’s what you have planned for me, then forget it.”

Dean looked at me with new eyes. “I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, Pru.”

“That’s good to know.”

“And I would never parade you around like a show animal.”

“As long as we got that straightened out,” I snapped.

He smiled at me. “You’re classy.  I can work with that. And when beautiful musicians parade around in nothing, it’s usually because they don’t play any instruments so there’s nothing else to do with them. That’s not the case with you.”

That made me feel
better.

“So, don’t worry about it, Pru.”

“Okay.”

He sat up then rested his arms on his knees. “My headache is gone.”

“I’m glad.”

“What do you want to do tonight?”