Light Shadows (39 page)

“Morning,” he gruffs, his voice still strangled with sleep and emotion. He clears it, trying to rid himself of his weakness. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah.” And I do, actually. Much better.

“Good.” He scrubs a hand over his face, rubbing the dark stubble on his jaw. “I couldn’t leave you.”

Huh? What does he mean he—

“I didn’t want you to be afraid if you woke up alone, after what happened last night. And until I knew you were safe for sure, I didn’t want…”

I don’t miss the desperation in his voice, his words begging for acceptance. “Thank you,” I say hastily, not wanting any awkwardness to stretch between us. “Thanks for staying. I’m glad you were here.”

I watch his bare chest rise and fall, forcing my eyes to focus on the movement and not the rippling muscle of his torso.
God, he’s gorgeous.
Tan, smooth skin. Abs for days. And from what I just felt pressed against my ass while he was deep in dreamland, I know he’s working with some serious pipe.

FML.

“Where’s Lars?” I ask, grasping at anything that will divert my attention. Shit, I can still see his massive appendage resting on his thigh, docile yet thick with vitality.

“He had to make a trip. The spell to bring Dorian back requires some research. And where he’s going, we’re not welcome. So he’ll be back in a couple days, hopefully less. Thankfully, he’s placed a Light ward around the perimeter of our rooms. That will take care of the humans passing through with Dark magic.”

“So we’re stuck here for days?” I’m whining not because I think I’ll die of cabin fever, but because being with Niko makes me think and feel things that I don’t want to face. I shouldn’t even be entertaining this shit. And spending everyday with him, without the buffer of Morgan or Alex or even Lars, how will I continue to ignore that niggling urge to act on these insane impulses?

Niko shakes his head, his eyes still gazing up at the ceiling. “We’ll try to make the most of it. There are other ways to entertain ourselves. We just have to be creative.”

Entertain…*gulp*…ourselves?
“Like?”

Suddenly, he sits up, placing his bare feet on the floor and giving me a view of hard back, roped with muscle. Standing, he grabs his discarded shirt and simply drapes it over his shoulder. “Get ready and I’ll show you.” Then he disappears through the door that adjoins our rooms.

I roll onto my back, huffing out a gutful of frustration. What am I doing? Has my ascension really made me so callous? Am I so starved for affection that I’m willing to risk what I have—
had
—with Dorian? I’ve never been that kind of girl to act like a complete slut for the attention of a guy. I mean, I have morals, however shallow they may be.

I trudge out of bed and stretch my limbs, realizing that I’m still dressed in that skimpy black dress, which has ridden all the way up to my waist, exposing most of my black-thonged ass.
Great.
As if I
need
another thing to obsess over.

I shower and primp as quickly as possible, anxious to discover Niko’s methods of entertainment. When I reach for my toothbrush, an unexplainable flutter erupts in my belly at the memory of him brushing my teeth last night. He was so gentle, so sweet. I felt unbelievably cherished and adored.

I shake it off, telling myself that he was just being nice, and reading into it would only make me delusional. I was the equivalent of a toddler to him, or some helpless hospital patient. There was nothing remotely sexual about being so plastered that I needed someone to help me brush my damn teeth.

Except, I wasn’t drunk. And after he tucked me in and ensured our safety, he climbed into bed with me, pressing my mostly bare ass against the erection straining underneath his slacks.

This is so fucked.

I’m bent over, pulling on my comfy, fur-lined boots when a pair of jean-clad legs appears out the corner of my eye. “Holy shit!” I shriek, clutching my chest. “Don’t do that! You scared the crap outta me!”

Niko smirks, the devil in him snickering at my fear. “Well, hopefully, by the end of today, you’ll be able to do the same thing.”

“For real?” Learning how to manifest from one place to the next, even over long distances, would be freaking insane! If had had that skill a week ago, I could have been there for Jared. Hell, maybe even for Donna.

“For real. Now you’ll have to hang onto me for the first leg of our journey, but coming back, you should be able to make the trip independently.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He closes the space between us, and before I can protest, his arms are wound around me for the second time this morning. I look up into those crystal blue eyes, seeing the reflection of longing in my own expression. “Hold on,” he whispers, his breath stirring the curls around my face. Then we’re gone, transported into obscurity.

A bout of vertigo causes my legs to wobble like Jell-O, even though this time was a much smoother journey than the times before. Niko supports my weight, holding me tight against his chest, while I take a minute to collect my bearings.

“You’ll get used to it. Deep breaths, baby girl. It’ll pass.” He strokes my hair, refusing to let me go until I’m able to stand on my feet without wobbling.

“Thank you,” I say, my cheeks hot. When I step away, I see that we’re at the edge of a lake, encapsulated by a wall of tall, lush trees. “Where are we?”

“Green Lake. I was able to…
persuade
…the local occupants to keep their distance for a while. We’ll have some privacy.”

I smile, taking in the rich greenery and listen to the sound of a light breeze rustling a thousand little leaves. The sun just barely breaks through heavy, grey clouds, yet it’s enough to make me raise my face to the sky and soak in the vitamin D. The Light in me craves this. I needed to be outside, surrounded in the splendor of nature, to recharge my batteries. And as the scent of fresh water and foliage fill my lungs, I feel as if I’ve finally found peace. This is my little slice of nirvana.

“Like it?” Niko asks quietly, after giving me several minutes to take it all in.

“I love it,” I breathe, feeling as if I can’t take in enough fresh air. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

He tips his head. “I wish I could say it was solely for relaxation. Actually, we’re here to work. You want to learn how to
use,
and there’s a likely chance that Dorian won’t give in without a fight. It’s time you learned how to protect yourself, and manipulate that power inside you.”

“But I thought there were no spell books or things like that?”

“There aren’t.” Niko strides to me, leaving mere inches between us. “It comes from here,” he says, touching my forehead. His other hand goes over my heart. “And from here. You’ve always had it inside you. You’ve just been too afraid to let it out.”

I don’t realize that I’ve stopped breathing until I feel like I may burst with the need for oxygen. Niko takes the hint, and backs away, taking my hand instead. “But first, we dine. You need to have your strength before I work you.”

Just beyond a grouping a trees there’s a little clearing where Niko has placed a blanket and a basket of food. A knot forms in my throat as I let him lead me to it, thinking of the time Dorian took me to the park for a picnic. He always made the simplest things seem so grand and special. It was the perfect day. And now that I’m here with his brother, all I can think about how I’ll never be able to accept another man without comparing him to Dorian. I’ll always think,
Dorian did it first.
Or,
I liked it better when Dorian did it.
And while I’m perfectly happy and grateful to be here with Niko, I know that any man I choose will only get half my heart. The other half will forever belong to someone else.

I sit on my knees as Niko pulls out a few pastries, savory croissant sandwiches, yogurt parfait and, my favorite, Starbucks. Obviously, not having coffee in Seattle is like a cardinal sin or something.

“Thanks. This looks great,” I say, going for a huge cheese danish, thankful that my supernatural mojo somehow makes calories not count. Niko hands me my cinnamon latte before grabbing one of the sandwiches.

“No problem. I raided a nearby bakery and grabbed the coffee while you were still getting ready. Figured you’d be hungry. Hope it’s still warm.”

I take a sip and let out an X-rated moan.
Oh, sweet manna from heaven!
“It’s perfect.”

I hear Niko clear his throat before he turns his head to busy himself with his own meal. Is that a… Is that a
blush?

I laugh inwardly and try to cut the awkwardness with easy conversation to pass the time. When we’re both full, Niko takes me back out to the edge of the water.

“Walk on it.”

“Excuse me?”

“Step out onto the water.”

Did this dude say what I think he just said? “You do realize that I can’t turn water into wine, right? And that I’m not sporting a robe and sandals?”

“Seriously, Gabs. Step out onto the water.”

“Was Bruce Almighty on TV last night? Because I love that movie too.”

“Gabs.”

“Niko.”

Niko sighs, already exasperated. “Be serious, Gabs. If it weren’t possible, I wouldn’t waste time trying to teach you. Now get your ass out there on that lake or I will push you out there.”

I scoff at his attitude and roll my eyes. “Rude.” Yet, I find myself scooting to the water line where soft waves touch the tip of my boots.

“Now close your eyes and visualize that the lake is not water at all, but a glass floor. You know it’s solid—it will support you—but you must be gentle with it. It’s delicately beautiful, and you don’t want to break it. And you won’t. You’re light as a feather. Weightless. Effervescent.”

I do as he says, visualizing every word that passes his lips. I’m floating, completely unburdened by gravity. I’m merely a whisper in the wind. An apparition.

“Now open your eyes, Gabs.”

I do, and when I take in the scene around me, I gasp so loud that it echoes through the trees. I’m on the lake.
On
the lake! I’m standing right smack dab in the middle, yet I’m completely dry.

“How did I...How can this…?” I’m tripping over my words, too exhilarated to complete a single sentence.

“Magic,”
Niko smiles, appearing right beside me. “It’s in you. You were just too afraid to let it out.” A reaches a hand towards me and threads his fingers through mine. “Come on, let’s walk back together.”

I practice walking on water a dozen more times—once more with Niko and the others solo—before I have it mastered. Impressed, Niko has me work on manipulation. I’m able to raise the water a few feet above my head and hold it for nearly 30 seconds before my connection slips.

“You’re over-thinking it,” he says. “That water is a part of you. An appendage. Raise it like you would raise your arm. Do you look at your shoulder and ask it to work? No! You just do it. So come on, let’s try again.”

After an hour and a few more tough love pep talks, I’m finally able to get the water to bend to my will. Wanting to keep that intense feeling of momentum, we move on to solid objects, first starting with leaves, then twigs and branches. Even the heavier objects seem completely weightless. Yet, the moment I let myself think about how huge and hefty they should be, I lose the connection and they come crashing down.

“Fuck!” I roar, as a large branch smashes to the ground. I wipe the sweat from my brow and grit my teeth in frustration. I was able to hold that one for over a minute. “I had it. I fucking had it. What am I doing wrong? You told me not to think, so I stopped thinking. Why the hell can’t I make it do what I want?”

Niko shakes his head before coming to stand beside me. His gaze still trained on me, he gracefully lifts a hand, manipulating the giant branch to rise with the movement. It’s so easy for him, so seamless. Hell, he doesn’t even need to look at it. He sets it down just as gingerly and takes my face in his hands. “You’re forcing it. You’re doing this out of frustration and anger. What did I tell you that day when we watched Dorian extend the ward? Magic is delicate. It’s sensual. You must seduce it to make it come to you. Would you force a lover to please you? No, of course not. You would caress it. Worship it. Make love to it. Take it inside you and gently exhale as if you were blowing out a candle. I know you can do it, Gabs. Your heart is just broken right now, so you can’t imagine how you would channel those feelings. But there has to be something else you feel passion for.”

Passion.

Something I didn’t think I’d ever inherit again. So much so that the very word sounds foreign.
Passion.
Of course, I know I’m still capable of feeling it. But for what? And for who?

I step out of his hold and busy my mind with projecting all the confusion and restlessness I’ve felt these past day I’ve spent with Niko. How his body entices me. How his words challenge me. How that look he gives me…scares me. Not because I find him vicious or menacing. But because I’m afraid of what I’m beginning to feel for him. Or maybe it’s what I’ve felt all along. I just had Dorian to eclipse it.

As I raise my hand in a fluid motion, the branch moves with me, dangling in midair as if it is a feather carried by the wind. I don’t feel its burden. I am not strained with the task. It’s a vital part of me. Just as Niko has somehow made himself a vital part as well.

We’re lying in the grass several minutes later, sipping bottled water, when I turn to him and say, “Do you really think Dorian will fight us? Even you, his brother?”

He shrugs, gazing out at the water. “I wouldn’t be surprised. We were taught that surrender is weakness, and weakness is disease. Skotos’s fight until we’re dead, for all things we hold dear and precious.”

I nod, taking a moment to listen to the song of the wind whistling through the trees. I once had someone to fight for me like that. Someone who vowed to protect and love me until we both perished into earth. And now…now I don’t know if I’ll ever get him back.

“You don’t think that I’ll do it, huh?” I ask, my voice just barely a whisper. “You don’t think I’ll be able to fight him.”

“I don’t think you’ll
want
to fight him. There’s a big difference between ability and desire. It’s understandable that you would want to avoid hurting him.”