Light (The Shadows Series) (8 page)

“I’ll just be sitting behind the desk, all alone.”

“Nice try. It won’t work. You and I both know you will be busy checking the inventory and sales reports.”

“Alright. You have me there. Do you girls need anything before I sit down?”

“Nope. Kayla is going to help me for a bit. We will be in the back.”

“Okay, sweetie. Let me know if there’s any good gossip, though.”

I laugh, handing some books over to Kayla for her to carry. We walk into the backroom and plop down on the makeshift mats I made out of flattened boxes. Setting the books down beside us, we both lean against the wall. “Why don’t you have to work today?”

“Because I quit. Bridgette may not be there anymore, but I don’t want to work for Thomas either.”

“Wait, Bridgette quit?”

“I guess. One day Bridgette was there. Then the next day Sharon was back. Supposedly, the deal fell through, but it’s just a rumor. I don’t want to take my chances, so I talked it over with Paul. It’s not like it will hurt us moneywise, if I don’t work for a bit. So, I quit. Now, I’m just bothering you.”

I have no idea why, but tears start falling from my eyes. By my reaction, you would have thought she proposed to me, or something. I’m a blubbering mess and Kayla is staring at me like I have lost my freaking mind, maybe I have. How can you tell if you’ve lost your mind or not? Does the crazy part let you know or does it just happen?

“Eve, what on earth is wrong with you? Damn, girl, you’re crying like I just ran over your dog or something.”

“I know. I know. I think I’m losing my mind. I feel so closed off from Theron, but it’s not justified. He’s not ignoring me, he’s just busy. Then, Evan came over and he was just so broken. It was awful. We set him up in the spare bedroom again. I took all of the alcohol out of the house. He was pretty, bad on Saturday, but yesterday he seemed better. Tired and grouchy, but not drunk. Plus, Theron is having a hard time finishing whatever Isa’s plans were with the company, and I’m just so tired. I can’t fucking eat. There’s a huge knot in my stomach. I just don’t fucking know, you know?”

“No, sweetie. I don’t know. All I know is you are a mess. I mean, yeah, things have been overly fucked up, but I think you’re having a breakdown. Here finish my coffee and I’ll get us some more. You always function better with coffee.”

I take her cup from her and gag from the smell. At least, I thought I was going to gag. I end up retching so hard, I slap my hand over my mouth to keep from throwing up everywhere. Kayla jumps back as if I have a horrendous disease and runs to grab the trash can in the corner. I’m bawling my eyes out, while puking into a trash can in the back room of a bookstore. What the hell is going on with my life right now?

“Hey, take a breath. Just breathe, Eve.” Kayla, who is being a complete saint, is softly rubbing my back, while holding my hair. I finally catch my breath, and sit back against the wall again. She brings me a wet paper towel and I wipe my face. I’m shaky and my hands are clammy. “Eve, just listen for a second. I’m going to say something, but I don’t want you to lose the rest of your sanity, okay?”

First of all, I hate being approached as though I am some fragile person who shatters whenever someone says something. I also hate when people start conversations like that. Obviously, it’s not going to be good news, so why not just come out and say it? “Say whatever you need to say, Kayla. Just get it over with. I’m not a fucking child.”

“No, sweetie you’re not, but has the thought that you may be having one, crossed your mind?”

Wait. Hold everything. What the hell is she talking about? We may not use condoms every time, but I’m on the pill. I am not stupid. I know how babies are made. I can’t be. “No. No. No. Nope. Not happening. This is not happening. Kayla, I’ve been on the pill since I was sixteen. I never miss. Hell, I have an alarm set on my phone.”

“Okay. So maybe you’re not. Maybe I’m just jumping to conclusions. We could check though, right? Tell you what. Come home with me, and I’ll pick up some tests. At least, we will know one way or the other, right?”

“Yeah, okay. Um, can I drop my car off at home first? I’m not sure I’m going to want to drive home later.” I cannot believe I am agreeing to this. We do not need this right now. I do not need this right now. Kayla helps me stand and follows me to the front of the store. Olivia is going through some papers, but looks up when I lean against the counter.

“Eve, you look awful. What happened?”

“I think she has food poisoning. She just got sick, so I’m going to follow her home. Sorry she has to leave like this.” Kayla to the rescue. Thank goodness, she knew what to say. I can’t put any rational thoughts together right now.

“Oh, it’s no problem. Eve, sweetie, please get some rest. Take tomorrow off and I’ll see you Wednesday, if you are feeling up to it.”

I cannot form words. Kayla grabs my arm and follows me to my car. Mother fucker. There is another pink note on my car. I am not in the mood for any bullshit right now.

“Another note? Eve, how many is this now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t keep track, Kayla. I just throw them away.”

“You throw them away? Have you even told anyone else about this, yet? Does Theron know?”

“No, he doesn’t and he doesn’t need to. They are just harmless notes.”

“Harmless? This one says ‘I’m watching you. It’s my turn next.’ What the hell, Eve? That’s not harmless.”

I snatch the note from Kayla’s hand and toss it into my back seat. “Stay out of it, Kayla! I have enough going on. Don’t create problems where there aren’t any.”

“Damn it. I’m going to drop this for the time being, since we have other problems to address, but we are not done with this conversation. We are leaving. I’ll follow you home.”

“Done with this conversation? You are not my mother, Kayla.”

“No, I’m not, but since you are deciding not to tell anyone about this I’m going to act like it until you pull your head out of your ass.”

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s just go.” I slide into my seat, slamming my door. Who the hell does she think she is?

I pull up in front of the guesthouse and Kayla is right behind me. My intentions were to jump straight into her car, and just shoot Theron a text, but my plan goes out the window, as I rush inside to the bathroom. I pass Evan on my way, but I don’t have time to explain.

I’ve thrown up everything I had in my stomach for the entire duration of my life in the last fifteen minutes. I am lying on the bathroom floor, absorbing the feeling of the cool tile on my face. I roll over to allow the other side of my face to rest on the tile. I never thought I would enjoy tile flooring so much in my life. Thoughts are crashing through my mind right now. A tear slips from the corner of my eye, rolling over my nose and down my other cheek. My hands immediately cover my stomach. I don’t need a test. I have no doubt in my mind that Kayla’s right, but I’m going to take one anyway. I think I need to see it for the idea to really set in.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, I sit up on the floor. I pull a towel down from the sink and dry my face. I couldn’t even make it to our bathroom, I’m sitting in Evan’s, completely grateful he’s a messy slob, so I don’t feel so awful about any mess I made. I make my way to the living room, but stop just short of the entranceway. I can hear Kayla and Evan talking in low whispers. Great. That’s all I need is Theron to find out, before I can figure out for sure what’s going on. I tip toe a little closer, trying to keep my body as flat to the wall as possible. I am eavesdropping and I don’t care.

“So, he doesn’t know?”

“No, she’s never said anything to him. Look, I know you all have a crazy amount of
Days of Our Lives
drama going on, but someone is watching Eve. The note I saw today is the final straw. I assumed she told someone, or she stopped getting them because she hasn’t mentioned them to me. But today, I saw that note on her car and she just tossed it in her backseat like it was nothing.”

“What do you want me to do? He’s going to flip shit because she didn’t tell him.”

“I know. That’s why you can’t tell him. I’m going to make sure she tells him, but in the meantime, someone needs to keep an eye out for her.”

“Okay. I’ll keep my eye out, but if she doesn’t tell him soon. I will.”

Shit. Kayla just told Evan about the notes. I swear if she told him about the pregnancy test, I’m going to kill her. I’ve had enough of being the topic of conversation, so I walk into the room. Of course, all conversation ceases, but I act like I don’t notice.

Evan’s expression is nothing but pure pity. “Everything okay?”

“Um, I think I might have some food poisoning. Have you seen, Theron?”

“Not today. He texted earlier and had me email him some documents, but I think he’s in meetings.”

Tears spring to my eyes. I really need him and he’s not here. I can’t be mad at him though. It’s not like he knew. Right? Right. Shit. Did I just ask and answer my own question? I’m losing it. “Okay. I’ll just text him. I’m going to go with Kayla for a little bit. If I need a ride later, can I call you?”

“Sure. No problem. You have my number?”

“Yeah, from when you called me from the hospital.”

“Okay. So, just call me if you need me.” Evan stands, giving Kayla a knowing look before walking out of the room.

“I swear, Kayla, if you told him I’m pregnant…I’m going to kill you.”

“I didn’t. I take it that you’ve accepted it as a possible outcome?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing. Let’s just go get the tests.”

“Okay, but there’s been a slight change of plans. I can’t do this at my apartment. Paul will flip shit. He will think it’s me. So, I kind of called your mom.”

“Have you lost your fucking mind? What the hell, Kayla?”

“Stop. Don’t freak out. She doesn’t know. I told her I needed a mutual meeting ground, and she didn’t ask why. She just said she’ll make us some snacks. Now, we have to go there because you know her version of snacks is going to be some incredibly delicious cookies or something.”

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I shoot Kayla a look that could kill. “Fine. Can we please go now?” I send Theron a text that I’m spending the afternoon with Kayla, since it was slow at the store. It is not a complete lie. It’s just a little omission. I follow Kayla to her car and we head to the store. I had no idea how many different kinds of pregnancy tests there are. I hand the clerk my credit card and she raises her eyebrows at my purchase. Don’t judge me. I make a mental note never to shop here again.

“Down, killer.”

“What?”

“You looked like you were going to kill that cashier. Just relax.” Sliding into Kayla’s car, I get an incredibly bad gut feeling. I don’t see this going well.

Kayla is sitting on my mom’s bathroom floor. I’m lying at her feet. Her floors aren’t as cold and smooth as mine, but the tile still feels great on my cheeks. “How many more should I take?”

“Honey, I don’t think you need to take anymore. I think we bought every kind the drug store had. You’ve taken seven already. The results aren’t going to change, Eve. What are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know. What if he freaks out? What if he doesn’t want a baby right now? What am I going to do then, Kayla? Fuck. It’s not like this was planned. I don’t know what to say or think. My head is swimming right now. Just let me lie here on the floor, I’ll be fine.”

“I would totally be okay with that if this was my house. However, we are at your mom’s. She already knows we are up to something. She’s not an idiot. We’ve been hiding out in here for almost an hour now.”

“I know. I just don’t want to move. The floor is so cold, it feels great.”

“Oh, sweetie. That’s just so sad. Come on. If you don’t want to say anything right now, I’ll just tell your mom you’re sick. Come with me and I’ll get you a cold rag for your face. You’ll feel better.”

“Promise?”

“Sure. It’s worth a shot, right?”

“I guess.” Kayla stands and pulls me up off the floor. I follow her into the kitchen where my mom is sitting at the table with three different kinds of freshly baked cookies in front of her. I guess we were really in there for a long time. She pats the chair beside her. I plop down in the chair and almost gag when she offers me a cookie. I’ve never been able to lie to my mom. She has always seen right through the webs and plots I’ve tried to construct. I give up trying to pretend nothing is wrong. I lay my face down on the kitchen table, taking turns laying each cheek down for a few minutes. The tabletop feels so cool against my face.

Kayla gently places a wet washcloth across my neck, as I lay there looking at my mom. She doesn’t say anything, but she pulls the cookies away. Kayla opens a can of ginger ale pop and sets it beside me. My mom watches Kayla’s movements and raises her eyebrow at me. “Are we going to pretend this isn’t happening?”

“What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me, Evelyn Davidson. You damn well know
what
I’m talking about. How long?”

“Mom, please, less riddles.”

“How far along are you, Eve?”

My eyes go wide when she guesses my secret. I don’t know why I’m surprised. I know I can’t lie to her. “I don’t know.”