Light This Candle (Harlequin More Than Words) (8 page)

The first order of business was to make contact with Cassidy
again. But subtly. Indirectly. He drove over to the military base and paid a
visit to the finance office. He’d had the folks there reviewing Jimmy Frazier’s
beneficiary paperwork, and they’d found several crucial errors.

Mitch was relieved to hear that starting in a few weeks,
several hundred dollars more per month of Social Security money would be
released to Cassidy. Furthermore, the last fifty thousand dollars of Jimmy’s
life insurance policy that had been withheld pending a search for his
parents—who were both deceased according to Cassidy—was going to be released to
the widow. He was assured the check would take no more than two weeks to arrive
in her mail.

He wished there was more he could do for her. He had a driving
need deep in his gut to make her happy. To see her smile and hear her laugh.
He’d had crushes in the past, but this obsession with making another human being
happy was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. He didn’t know how or why it
had happened at the speed of light, but it was unquestionably real.

He made his way toward the hospital to tell Cassidy about the
change in her benefits; he’d learned the hard way not to do such things behind
her back. And as he drove, something incredibly obvious dawned on him. It didn’t
really matter why he’d fallen for Cassie. The fact that he had was all that
mattered.

If watching young men die in war had taught him nothing else,
it was to live in the now and not to ask too many why questions. Like why did
one kid die when another one lived? Why had he survived? Why did war exist? Why
did he care so much about a widow and her young son so soon after meeting
them?

He just did.

Now to convince her of that.

* * *

Cassidy stared at Cody in dismay. How was she going to
convince him to cooperate with the doctors? The helicopter would be here in a
half hour to airlift him to Columbus. But her normally sweet and tractable son
had dug in his heels and was throwing the mother of all hissy fits. He was
absolutely determined that he was not leaving this place until he saw Mitch.

The doctors looked exasperated and told her that they couldn’t
sedate Cody because of the anesthesia required for the transplant surgery. They
basically ordered her to do whatever it took to get control of her kid.
Now
.

“Cody, baby. You need to let the nurse hook up the portable
oxygen system.”

“No! I want Mitch! I
have
to talk
to him!”

The lead doctor interrupted. “Is this Mitch close by?”

“I don’t know. I suppose so,” Cassidy answered reluctantly. She
saw where this was going.

“Then get him over here. The more upset Cody gets, the more
unstable his heart rate will become. If he crashes now, we can forget going
ahead with the transplant.”

Cassidy stared at the man in horror. Cody could lose his shot
at a new heart? She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Mitch’s number. Truth
be told, she was grateful for the excuse to talk to him again. She’d had no idea
how they were going to get past last night’s impasse, but she desperately wanted
to put it behind them.

“Hi, Cassidy,” he said pleasantly enough. “How’s Cody?”

“Mitch, I’m really sorry to bug you, but I have a huge favor to
ask.”

“Anything. It’s yours,” he answered promptly.

He sounded as if he seriously meant that. Even after she’d been
such a witch to him last night? Wow. “Cody’s throwing a giant tantrum and
insists on seeing you before they fly him up to Columbus. Could you come over to
the hospital in, like the next few minutes, to calm him down?”

“I’m on my way.”

“Thanks so much.”

“Any news on the donor heart?”

“They say expiration is imminent. Within a few hours.” It hurt
to talk about another child’s impending death, but if Cody lived because of it,
maybe some good could come of the tragedy.

“Okay, Cassie. I’m in heavy traffic, so I’d better hang up.
Tell Cody I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Thanks again, Mitch.”

“You’re welcome, darlin’.”

She stared at her cell phone as the connection went dead. He’d
called her darling? What did it mean? Or was it just a casual endearment? Except
he’d never called her that before—

She had no time to ponder the question because Cody demanded,
“What did he say? Is he coming?”

“Yes, he’s coming. He said to tell you he’ll be here in five
minutes. Will you let the nurse change over your oxygen now?”

“Yes, Mommy.” And just like that, the monster child turned into
a model of perfect cooperation.
Little stinker
, she
thought affectionately. He and Mitch were two peas in a pod. They knew what they
wanted, and they didn’t give up until they got it.

Mitch’s declaration from last night echoed in her head.
I am the military
. He was right, of course, Military
careers didn’t get left at the office at quitting time. It was a way of life,
not just a job. But did she want him, military and all? Could she love another
man whose life belonged first to his country and only second to his family? The
notion made her almost sick with fear.

Thankfully, the last-minute preparations for Cody’s flight to
Columbus distracted her. At last he was ready to go. Now they just had to wait
for the helicopter—and Mitch—to get here.

She felt his presence in the ICU before she saw him. She looked
up sharply when she heard the elevator opening outside and was startled to
realize she was smiling. Mitch appeared in the doorway, as handsome as usual,
and her heart flip-flopped.

He strode into Cody’s room, and her son’s face lit up with a
broad smile.
He’s as besotted with Mitch as I
am
.

“Hey, buddy. I hear you get to take a helicopter ride. Are you
excited?”

“I’m kinda scared,” Cody confessed.

Mitch grinned reassuringly. “They’re really cool. Your daddy
and I rode in them all the time. They make you talk funny...like this.” Mitch
pounded his chest rapidly as he spoke, making his voice wobble.

Cody smiled. Cassidy’s heart expanded at the sight. She was
scared to death of what would happen in the next few hours—they were going to
remove her son’s heart from his body, for crying out loud—and here he was,
grinning happily. She might attribute his lack of concern to the ignorance of
youth, but Cody was a smart cookie, and he knew full well what was about to
happen to him.

Mitch sat down on the edge of her son’s bed, perched beside the
various tubes and wires. “So, Cody. I hear you wanted to talk with me before you
left. Anything in particular on your mind, son?”

Cassidy sucked in a sharp breath as the word
son
fell from Mitch’s lips. It sounded so good it
hurt. Cody’s face abruptly went serious. “It’s important.”

Mitch nodded, matching the boy’s serious expression. “I’m
listening.”

“I had a dream last night. I saw my daddy, and he’s an angel.
He said he would be waiting for me if I come to heaven to be with him.”

Cassidy’s hand went to her mouth and tears leaped to her eyes.
How Mitch was maintaining his composure, she had no idea.

He reached out to push the hair off Cody’s forehead. “Your
daddy loves you very much. As much as your mommy and I do.”

She stared at him, shocked and hopeful. He loved Cody?
Really?
Or was he just saying that to comfort a scared
kid on his way to a dangerous operation?

“That’s what I have to talk to you about,” Cody continued. “My
daddy said you are an angel, too. And he sent you to watch after Mommy and me.
If I go to heaven, you have to promise to look out for Mommy.”

Cassidy pulled in a sobbing breath. Cody
had
to make it through the transplant. She couldn’t live without
him.

“Of course. I promise, Cody.”

“Pinkie swear?”

Mitch hooked his big finger in Cody’s tiny, frail one. “My most
solemn pinkie swear.”

Cody nodded. “Okay, then. I’m ready.”

One of the nurses stepped forward. “The helicopter’s on final
approach to the landing pad upstairs. If you’re ready, Mrs. Frazier, we’ll take
you and Cody up top.”

Cassidy nodded. Here went nothing. Cody would either die on the
operating table or come out of the surgery with a new heart.

It was as if Mitch read her mind. Strong arms went around her
and she was crushed against a big, warm chest.

He whispered against her temple, “Everything will turn out
fine. I’ll drive up to Columbus to join you. I should be there in a couple of
hours, max. You’ll be okay until I get there?”

She nodded, too choked up to speak. He hadn’t abandoned her and
Cody after all.

“I’ll be there for you as long as you’ll have me,” he
murmured.

And then he was gone. The transport team whisked in to wheel
Cody and a host of machines and monitors out of the room. Someone took her by
the arm and guided her into the hall. The next few minutes were a flurry of
activity as they relocated to the roof and got Cody and her situated in the
sleek, powerful helicopter that would be taking them to Columbus.

It wasn’t until she was strapped into her seat and the bird had
lifted off into the afternoon sky that she had a second to think. Had she heard
him correctly?
As long as she would have him?
What
if that turned out to be a long time? A
very
long
time, like, oh, forever?

CHAPTER SEVEN

Mitch was normally a conservative driver, but his speed
kept creeping up as he headed east toward Cassidy and Cody. He couldn’t bring
himself to pray for another child’s speedy death, but he did pray for peace and
healing for a family in the midst of a terrible tragedy. And he prayed hard for
Cody to be strong and make it through the surgery.

Now that he was crazy about a child himself, he had a deeper
appreciation of what the family in Columbus was going through. He also had a
powerful appreciation of the gift of life that this organ donation represented.
The courage and generosity of one family was giving the greatest gift of all to
another.

He hoped that someday the donor family could meet Cassidy and
Cody. He’d bet Cassidy would have some powerful words of thanks for them.
Goodness knew, he would if he ever got a chance to meet them.

He guided his truck to the Ohio State University Hospital in
the middle of the sprawling university campus. He navigated the huge facility
and found the Intensive Care Unit. The staff was stubborn about not admitting
him, and the heated discussion was threatening to turn into a full-blown
argument until Cassidy poked her head out of a room and snapped, “He’s family.
Give him a badge.”

He grinned at her and a tiny smile cracked her face. He
recognized that grim, determined expression she wore. His troops got it just
before they went into combat. They called it their game face. She definitely had
hers on.

He clipped on his badge and headed into the room. He was
surprised to see that Cody was asleep. “How are we doing?” he asked Cassidy.

“The other child’s gone.” Her voice cracked on the last word
and he gave her a hard, fast hug, not of celebration, but of shared grief. She
continued more steadily, “They’re prepping Cody and have started anesthesia.
Because of how fragile his heart is, they have to sedate him slowly.”

“He’s a tough kid,” he murmured, putting an arm around her
shoulders. “Have faith in him and his doctors, okay? They’re all fighters.” She
leaned into him and he absorbed her worry as best he could.

She said quietly, “Things will start happening fast. The
doctors went over the whole surgical procedure with me a few weeks ago. It’ll
take hours once they get Cody into the operating room, though.”

The two of them stood there together, looking down at the
precious little boy in silence. Cody looked like a dark-haired angel in his
sleep.

A man in surgical scrubs, right down to cloth booties, stepped
into the room. “It’s time.”

Cassidy leaned down to kiss her son’s forehead and whisper
something to him. When she straightened, Mitch took a shaky breath.

The man smiled and said, “Cody and I will see you in recovery.
This is going to take a while, so don’t watch the clock too much.”

The surgical team wheeled Cody out, and Mitch’s last glimpse
was of Cody’s pinkie finger, curled in the white sheets as if to remind Mitch of
his promise.

Cassidy broke down completely as soon as Cody was gone, sobbing
inconsolably. He wasn’t ashamed to cry with her. It was the scariest thing he’d
ever done, turning Cody over to a team of strangers like that. He guided Cassidy
down the hall to a small, private waiting room and gathered her against his
side. They clung to each other and cried together for a long time.

He fully understood her need to let go of her hard-won control.
She’d been strong for so long. And now her long battle was over, one way or the
other.

It was the most wrenching moment of Mitch’s life, and he
suspected Cassidy would describe it the same way. All their defenses were down
and nothing was left in either of them but raw emotion. He supposed it was
entirely natural that they should share their grief like this and find solace in
one another’s suffering.

Still, it was the most intimate and personal experience he’d
ever shared with another human being. If he’d had any questions before about
just how deep his feelings ran for Cassidy and Cody, they were pretty much
answered. The two had found their way to the very bottom of his heart and lodged
there.

Eventually Cassidy cried herself out. Mitch wiped her face
gently with his handkerchief.

“You carry one of those?” she asked in surprise. “I thought men
didn’t bother with hankies anymore.”

“They do when they know they’re going to be around an emotional
woman.”

“I’m that, all right.”

He smiled gently at her. “You’re authorized in this
situation.”

“Mitch, we need to talk.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“About that promise Cody extracted from you to look after me.
It was sweet of you to make it to him, and goodness knows, he needed to calm
down. But I won’t hold you to it.”

“But it was a solemn pinkie swear.”

“Seriously, Mitch—”

“Seriously. I meant every word of what I said to Cody. And what
I said to you...after.”

She stared at him, looking completely flummoxed. “I don’t
understand.”

“What part of ‘I’ll be there for you as long as you’ll have me’
don’t you understand?” he asked reasonably.

“Do you realize what you’re saying? What if I want you around
for a really long time?”

Joy leaped in his chest. “That would be fine,” he answered much
more calmly than he felt.

“But we’ve only known each other a few weeks. And I haven’t
exactly been at my best around you.”

He shrugged. “I’ve been asking myself the very same thing about
how this could have happened so fast. But the fact remains that I do care for
you. You and Cody. Deeply. It’s as if I’ve been waiting for the two of you to
come into my life forever. Now that you’re here, I’m not about to question the
how or why of it.”

Her eyes shone with equal parts hope and fear, as if she was
terrified to believe him.

He added, “Who knows? Maybe Cody’s right. Maybe Jimmy sent me
to take care of you two. He was a pretty generous guy, and I know he loved you
two with all his heart. He’d want you to be happy.”

Cassidy stared at Mitch, hope warring with caution in her
chest.

“Happy?” she said. “I’d almost forgotten what that was like.
And then you blew into our lives like a hurricane.” She fell silent until she
realized Mitch was staring at her expectantly.

“And?” he asked cautiously.

She threw up her hands with a little laugh. “Has anybody ever
told you that you’re impossible to resist? I suppose you always get your way,
don’t you?”

He grinned. “Always.”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Take me up on that long-term-offer thing.”

Her jaw sagged. “Are you...do you mean to say you’d
consider...exactly wh-what are you saying?” she stammered.

He spoke slowly, as if he was thinking out loud. “‘Now or
never’ seems to be the theme tonight. If you can risk everything to give your
son a shot at life, then I suppose I can take a big risk, too.” He took a deep
breath. “So here goes. Marry me, Cassidy. Give Cody a bunch of brothers and
sisters, and let me make sure you never again forget what happiness is.”

“Marry—are you crazy? We’ve known each other a few
weeks
.”

“Tell me you don’t already know I’m the one Jimmy sent for you.
Marry me.”

She stared at him in frustration. And hope. Was he right? She
had to admit, the past few weeks had been full of angels. First the Patches of
Light rescue—even if it had been engineered by Mitch and Rose—and then Mitch
himself. And now a new heart for Cody. It was all pretty overwhelming.

“Can I wait to answer you until after Cody’s out of surgery?”
she asked in a small voice.

“Of course. But understand that even if the worst should
happen, my proposal stands.”

The terror she’d held at bay for the past few minutes crashed
back in on her full force.

“Breathe, baby. Take it one minute at a time. One breath at a
time if you need to.”

How was it he always knew exactly what she needed? Exactly what
to say to her? Was he already so in tune with her? Maybe he really was an angel
sent by heaven or Jimmy or both.

* * *

The long hours of Cody’s surgery crawled by at a
maddeningly slow pace for Mitch. He went down to the gift shop and bought a
scented candle. Back in the waiting room he lit it, and Cassidy smiled softly at
him. She remembered her birthday candle and got his silent message.

Have hope.

About once an hour, a surgical nurse came out to report that
everything was going well. But that was it. According to Cassidy, the crucial
transfer of the new heart would happen late in the long procedure.

She stared unseeing at the television and paced by turns. At
one point she paged through a magazine, which he smiled to see was upside down.
About halfway through it, she grinned ruefully and turned it around.

He’d been in some difficult situations in his life. Had been
outnumbered by enemy forces, waiting for an attack or ambush. But he’d never
done anything half as hard as waiting out Cody’s heart transplant.

At some point a hospital volunteer brought them sandwiches. But
neither he nor Cassidy choked down more than a few bites. And then it was back
to waiting. It grew dark outside as the surgery stretched into the evening.
Still the little candle burned, its bright light steady and unwavering. Despite
the anesthesiologist’s admonition not to watch the clock, Mitch couldn’t help
doing exactly that.

Six hours became seven. And seven became eight.

Cassidy began to panic. She wrung her hands until they were
bright red, and she became more and more agitated. Finally he grabbed her hands
to rescue them and pulled her into his arms. “It’s in God’s hands now, Cassidy,”
he said gently.

She dissolved into quiet tears that brought him to the verge of
tears, too.

“Hey,” he choked out. “Don’t forget Cody’s got his own personal
angel. Jimmy’s looking out for him.”

“I’ve been telling myself that over and over.” She hiccuped.
“But the surgery should be finished by now. They said it would take six to eight
hours.”

“Well, we’re still in the eighth hour. Be strong, baby. Just a
little while longer.” As much as he wanted to take this burden away from her,
there was nothing he could do. He hated feeling helpless, and he could only
imagine how much more helpless she felt.

They sat there in the waiting room holding each other, drawing
strength from one another, which was ironic given that neither of them had any
strength left to give themselves.

Then, at long last, the door behind Cassidy opened. Mitch
looked up sharply. It wasn’t a nurse this time. It was a surgeon.

* * *

Cassidy jumped to her feet the moment Mitch stiffened
against her. Panic slammed into her.
This was
it
.

“Is he alive?” she cried, unable to contain herself. “Did he
make it?”

“He came through surgery like a champ, Mrs. Frazier. Your son’s
quite a little fighter.”

Her legs collapsed right then and there. Had it not been for
Mitch catching her and scooping her up in his arms, she’d have fallen in a heap
on the floor. If she thought she’d cried hard before, it was nothing in the face
of her tears now. She sobbed against Mitch’s neck, racked by gratitude and
relief.

The surgeon waited patiently. Finally, when she was able to
look up at him again, he continued. “Cody is in recovery. He should regain
consciousness very soon. We didn’t want to keep him under anesthesia any longer
than necessary. It would be helpful if you’re there when he wakes up. Sometimes
children can be disoriented and get upset coming out of anesthesia. If he sees a
familiar face immediately upon waking, it will help keep him calm.”

“Of course,” she said.

Mitch helped her to her feet and kept a steadying arm around
her, for which she was grateful, as they followed the surgeon from the room.

Her son was alive
.

Cody would be all right
.

Everything would be all right
.

The knowledge of these things washed through her with the power
of a religious revelation. Or maybe they actually were a religious revelation.
Maybe God had, in fact, sent all these blessings to her. She offered up a
heartfelt prayer of thanks as she and Mitch walked down the brightly lit
hallway.

Thanks to the presurgery briefing, she was prepared for all the
tubes and wires that were attached to her son. He looked tiny and pale and
fragile buried under a heavy bandage that swathed his entire torso.

The surgeon explained to them that Cody would be allowed to
regain consciousness and his neurological functions would be tested briefly.
Then he would be sedated again and administered heavy painkillers for the next
few days. Cracking open the chest to access the heart was intensely painful, he
told them.

She nodded her understanding, grateful for Mitch’s warm body
pressed against her side. With every beep of the heart monitor, every rise and
fall of Cody’s little chest, she offered up another silent prayer of thanks.

And then the speed of the steady beeps increased slightly. It
took a while, but eventually Cody’s eyelids fluttered. Mitch’s arm tightened
around her shoulders. They waited several more agonizing minutes. Cody took a
deep breath...and opened his eyes.

It was still him. Her son looked back at her with his usual wry
humor and awareness beyond his young years. He closed his eyes again. In a few
minutes, without opening his eyes, he mouthed a soundless
hi
around the respirator.

“Hi, sweetie,” she said softly. “How are you feeling?
Tired?”

He nodded
.

She smiled down at him. “Your new heart is doing great, and
you’re doing even greater. You get to sleep for a while now. And when you wake
up, your new heart will make you feel a ton better. Okay?”