Lilly's Wedding Quilt (31 page)
At home one evening, Lilly asked her
mamm
if she wanted to help her make traditional Amish Shatter Candy to give as a treat to the students on February fourteenth. She was happy when her mother agreed.
In truth, Lilly was developing a new way of being with her
mamm
, finding common ground to talk about things and feeling much closer as they often went to medical or therapy appointments together. The community continued to rally in support, never ceasing to provide companionship and trips away from the house for her
mamm
while Lilly was at school and Jacob at his family’s farm.
She glanced into the sitting room at her husband as he half-dozed in a chair. In profile, the soft lay of his growing beard only made him appear more handsome, and Lilly had to remind herself not to stare. He worked endlessly long hours, often rising before 4:00 a.m. and not returning home until supper. And last night there’d been two foals born, which meant he’d gotten little to no sleep at all.
Lilly eased the large frying pan atop the stove and spoke in whispers to her mother.
“Remember when we used to make Shatter Candy when I was little,
Mamm
?”
“
Jah
. Your favorite part was the shattering. Your
daed’s
too.”
Lilly smiled. “And I remember that neither of you would let me have more than three pieces until Valentine’s Day.
Ach
, I’m so glad we can talk about Father without it hurting you so much,
Mamm
.”
Her mother patted her arm. “It’s probably always going to be hard, but I learned in the hospital to just be in the moment instead of living in the past or worrying about the future.”
Lilly measured out the granulated sugar from the large jar while her
mamm
poured the corn syrup into a cup. Both sugar and syrup went into the heated frying pan with a cup of water.
“What flavor are you planning?”
“
Ach
, cinnamon, I guess, for Valentine’s. And I suppose we’ll use the red food coloring.”
Her
mamm
rummaged in the pantry and returned with the ingredients. The syrup was soon boiling and Lilly pulled up a tiny bit on a spoon to drop into a clear glass of cold water. A soft ball formed.
“Not ready yet,” her
mamm
advised. “Just a few more minutes though.”
Lilly added the food coloring as the sugar climbed in temperature. Her next spoonful produced brittle threads in the cold water and she quickly drew the pan from the heat. Her mother added the cinnamon extract, stirring rapidly.
“Now the best part.” Lilly smiled as she spilled the syrup onto the greased cookie sheets.
“What’s the best part?” Jacob asked.
She looked up to find Jacob watching with his dark hair slightly messed, easing himself into a chair.
Lilly’s mother laughed. “A man knows when to come to the table.”
“What are you making?”
Lilly drew a heavy ice-cream scoop from a drawer and poised its backside over the cookie sheet. She pounded lightly once and the now hardened candy shattered into a hundred pieces.
“Shatter Candy!” Jacob exclaimed. “I haven’t had it since I was a kid.”
“And you may only have one piece now. It’s for the children for Valentine’s Day.” She scooped up a warm piece, dusted it with powdered sugar, and absently held it across the table to his mouth. He opened and she popped it in.
“Mmmm,” he said as he nodded. “Wish I were ten again … in some ways. In truth, I could do with a primer lesson from my favorite teacher.” Lilly heard the sensuous note in his voice and avoided looking at him while her
mamm
laughed.
J
acob walked into the nearly empty schoolhouse at 3:15 on the day before Valentine’s and saw Lilly at her desk, Abel coloring busily at his own.
“
Ach
, Jacob …
danki
for coming. Did Seth mind you leaving work for a bit?”
“
Nee
… it’s all fine.” He was aware that the child had turned to look at him. He slipped off his hat and coat, laying them atop a desk. “
Hiya
, Abel. Did you see any animal tracks this morning in the snow?”
Jacob enjoyed the time he spent with Abel and had most recently been teaching him things about the woods.
“
Jah
, Mr. Wyse. I saw rabbit, deer, and chipmunk.”
“
Gut
eye.”
He held out his hand to the boy and Abel took it, following him up the aisle.
“Well, teacher, today we have a surprise for you.” He exchanged a smile with Abel.
“What is it?”
Jacob half-laughed, knowing what her reaction was going to be to their plan.
“Today the teacher becomes the student. Right, Abel?”
The boy nodded.
“I’ve gotten special permission from Mrs. Beiler for Abel to come over to the horse farm.”
Jacob watched Lilly swallow and couldn’t help himself from studying the delicate line of her throat. “The horse farm?”
“Yep. Today you have your first riding lesson.”
“Oh, but I have so much grading to cover. Maybe we should wait.”
“You’re scared,” Abel said flatly.
Lilly looked at him and sighed. “Yes, I guess I am.”
“Trust God,” he replied, and Jacob watched her cheeks fill with delightful color. Then she nodded.
“You’re quite right, Abel. I will have trust. All right, Jacob. Let’s go.”
He hadn’t expected her to give in so easy, and he patted Abel on the shoulder for his help in the matter. Then they were off in the sled and soon to the Wyse farm.
Seth had Buttercup on a lead, and Lilly gazed in wonder as the horse walked with a bedsheet strapped to her saddle, billowing out on both sides.
“Best imitation of a woman’s skirts that we could come up with … not that yours will do that. But I didn’t want her to be spooked, so we’ve trained her to the sheet for the past week. You see, I’m taking every precaution.” Jacob grabbed a helmet from the fence post and pushed it on her head, careless of her
kapp
. Then he strapped it securely beneath her chin and she had the sudden longing vision of him brushing his mouth across hers. But he tapped her on the helmet instead. “No worrying.”
He turned and secured Abel’s helmet, then motioned Seth over.
“Abel, you’ve met my little
bruder
, Seth.”
The boy shook hands and glanced up at Seth’s tall frame. “He’s not little.”
Jacob laughed. “You’re right. He’s not my little brother, but he’s younger than me.”
Abel nodded.
Seth glanced over to an adjoining paddock. “We’ve got a pony named Firecracker if you’d like to take a ride, Abel. Have you ridden before?”
The boy thought, then shook his head. “Once with my father, but then
Mamm
said not again. I think I got hurt or something.”
Jacob met his brother’s eyes and shrugged slightly.
“Well, no getting hurt today, young man. Come on now, let’s leave your teacher to her lessons.”
Seth started to walk away when he was stopped by Abel’s uplifted hand. Jacob saw his brother study the child for a moment and then sigh. He finally took the boy’s hand in his own and they started across the field.
“Does Seth like children?” Lilly asked as they watched them go.
Jacob smiled. “Oh, I think so. Maybe he just doesn’t quite know it yet.”
Lilly looked at him with curiosity but he waved a hand toward Buttercup.
“All right, Mrs. Wyse. On to your own tutoring.”
He caught up the lead on Buttercup and brought the mare closer.
“So today, if you only learn one thing—”
“Only one? That’s it?”
“Let me finish my sentence,
fraa
,” he said in a teasing tone. “If you only learn one thing, I want you to learn that safety around horses has a lot to do with confidence and trust.”
“That doesn’t seem like a lesson to me.”
“That’s a lot.” He slid the bedsheet from the saddle and laid it over a fence. “Horses are naturally herd animals. So they want someone to be in charge, to look out for their safety. If they can’t find someone, they will take over. So, if you lack confidence, the horse knows it and becomes the herd leader, doing what he wants rather than listening to you.”
“Kind of like Ruler being a tough horse to drive?”
“Yes. He knows you’re not confident so he’s nervous about you being in control.”
“Well how can a scared person learn confidence?”
“By acting confident, being kind yet strong, teaching the horse to yield to you, and reminding her to stay out of your personal space. And doing it all in the language of a horse.”
“Is that why you don’t let them nuzzle you?”
“If I invite them into my space, I let them nuzzle. But no, they aren’t allowed to choose to step close to me. It must be an invitation.”
“Why not?”
“An eleven-hundred-pound animal is not something I’d like to have slamming its body into me at any time he chooses.”
Lilly stepped back a bit, probably thinking about his last comment.
“Come here,” he said. “Hold out your hand, palm down, fingers curled slightly. Let the horse sniff the back of your hand. That’s your horse handshake, your introduction.”
Jacob took Lilly’s hand and gently pulled her forward a couple steps. He gestured for her to give her greetings. Lilly hesitantly held her hand out for Buttercup to smell.
“Once you’ve been introduced, you can scratch them on the withers—”
“The same way they scratch each other in the field?”
“Yes. They love that mutual grooming. It’s a sign of friendliness and sends the message that you have no intention of hurting them.”
Lilly scratched away, her body still stiff with fear.
“It’s okay.” He moved behind her, reaching over her shoulder to scratch Buttercup as well. Lilly’s nearness distracted him until she spoke.
“I’m still scared.”
“Lilly, one reason why I chose Buttercup for you is that she is very calm.”
“But Granger beat her.”
“We’ve worked a lot with her—every day—to teach her to trust us. I would not for a moment put you on a horse I thought might hurt you.”
Jacob stepped back, took her hand, and moved her out of the way. He swung himself up into the saddle, flopping around a bit up there like he didn’t know what he was doing, then dismounted. The worst thing Buttercup did was sigh and shift her weight. He pointed at her back leg which stood slightly cocked. “Horses only do that when they’re relaxed. Now it’s your turn.”
She frowned at him and he smiled back.
“Well, all right …” She moved to mount on the left side, but then she discovered the problem of modesty.
“Jacob … I can’t just gather up my skirts … why anyone will be able to see my legs!”
“Planning on donning pants and telling the bishop to jump in the crick?” he asked.
“No … but now that I’ve thought of it, Amish women do not ride astride … I don’t even know if they ride when they’re grown-up—” Her voice rose.
He smiled. “I think you need some motivation.”
“Motivation? While I’m standing here feeling like a fool? No, I don’t believe that I need anything.”
“Here we go. You get on that horse and I’ll practice reading with you for a straight hour. We could finish the primer …” His tone was faintly wicked, and he could tell she tried not to smile.
“I don’t understand how that’s supposed to be inspiring in this situation.”
“Maybe that’s the point. You don’t need to understand every little thing right now. My
mamm
has always ridden astride and in her skirt too.”
She glared at him. “
Ach
, all right. I’ll try.”
She gathered her dress and underskirt in a bunch, lifting them high enough to reveal her long legs encased in black kneesocks. Then she slipped her left foot into the stirrup and gave a little hop.
“Don’t hold onto the saddle to get up … you can grab a handful of the mane but the saddle itself might slip.”
“I don’t think I’m getting up anywhere,” she muttered, moving to do as he suggested and catching hold of the reddish mane. She apologized to Buttercup, who stood so patiently, and made another attempt. This time she got her leg up and tried to swing her right leg astride but her dress was in the way. She got back down and glared at him.
“Maybe I should just take the dress off.”
“Now that’s an interesting proposition. Of course, Abel and Seth might be a little surprised.”
She turned from him, her small jaw set, and she caught an even better hold on the skirt of her dress. He admired her trim calves but quickly looked away, deciding it probably wasn’t proper to ogle the student, even if she was his
fraa
.
She made another attempt, ruthlessly lifting the fabric that entrapped her and finally got her right leg over. She sat still and triumphant and slightly breathless.
“Very good,” he praised, a warm lilt to his voice.
“Can I get down now?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No. You’ll be fine. You might even like it.”
“That’s highly unlikely.” Lilly gripped the saddle horn until her knuckles turned white. “How will I hold onto the reins?”
